things NOT to ask/say to a baker! - Page 14

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

I <3 this thread.

OH OH I have another one!

Faun-dawnT.  Every time I hear someone try and sound like they "know" stuff or at least prove how much they watch the Cake Boss and say "fawn-dawnT" I cringe.  I almost want to put a disclaimer on my website - if you contact me about a cake, please don't ask for a moist marble cake covered in fawn-dawnT with icing that isn't sweet in the shape of a woof.

There is NO hard T in French.  If you are French you say fawn-don.  NO T.  The rest of the English speaking world says fon-DANT.  

I also hate the word "icing" when it applies to my cake.  I don't make "icing".  I make buttercream.  

This is a funny thread .

Things NOT to ask a baker? Definitely not: 'Was it baked (in the oven)?'

Young girl comes to pick up her purse and make-up cake. Looking suspiciously at the cake asks 'Was it baked?'

Me: 'What exactly? .....The cake? Of course.' .......(I usually bake all my cakes - unless you wanted your purse full of liquid s#@t but you didn't specify that in your order. But you are right, it would make the MOISTEST cake ever but at the same time also clean and modern one...)

Girl: - 'Everything.'

Sure. I put a cake drum in my magic oven and a purse, fondant lipsticks, eyeshadows and nail polishes grow overnight like mushrooms. The only hitch: I have to bake the cake drum 2 days in advance otherwise it wouldn't have time to harden enough.

Apart from that, I don't enjoy working with people who ask for 'no buttercream and no ganache' in their cake.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FromScratchSF 

 

There is NO hard T in French.  If you are French you say fawn-don.  NO T.  The rest of the English speaking world says fon-DANT.  

 

EHHHH?

Up here is Canuckistan we sez FON dant if we don' spek Frog.

Quote:

Originally Posted by carmijok 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Response:   "I rarely dip my cakes in melted cheese!" 

But. . . . but. . .b.b.b.bu-ut. . . . If you di-id, they'd be the MOISTEST cakes evah!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crazy-Gray 

OMG I just had to leave the room in a fit of giggles at the typos- now the cat's looking at me like I've two heads- jees!

 

A while back I was asked:

"we'd really love one of your cakes..."

(great start- I'd love to make you one!)

"...but we don't like cake..."

(erm....)

"and there's only 4 of us too..."

(....phone silence from potential customer indicates that they desire a response- I go with: 'so you'd like a small something that looks like a cake but isn't a cake?'

A little-known fact: when the Vikings came back to Iceland from North America, they told their local baker about how they had "cakes over there...you know...not really made from cake"

And so was born the vinaterta (layers of cookies and prunes)

Which by the way NEEDS to be left at room temperature for 4-5 days to get decent.  Ideal for covering with, uh...

Quote:

Originally Posted by BakingIrene 

A little-known fact: when the Vikings came back to Iceland from North America, they told their local baker about how they had "cakes over there...you know...not really made from cake"

And so was born the vinaterta (layers of cookies and prunes)

*smirgle* (smirk and giggle)

Irene, are you Viking-Canuckian? I'm Viking-Amurkun.

I LOVE this thread!

Quote:

Originally Posted by costumeczar 

Oh, that reminds me of another one. "I wanted to know if my fiance can come over to try some of the samples since it's been a while since we booked. He wanted to try the chocolate and vanilla again." Makes me want to ask them if they've ever eaten chocolate or vanilla before and if they know what it tastes like.

OMG, this happens to me ALL. THE. TIME. 

I understand that you can forget how exactly something tastes, but can you at least remember if you thought it was good? And do NOT tell me that this is your fiancee. This is YOU and you are throwing your fiancee under the bus. And if you taste it and it's not as good as you remember, are you going to cancel your cake?

That and the Marble thing. Dude, it's choc and vanilla swirled together. If you sample those, I think you're good. (and up here if it isn't that combo, it's not called Marble. :) 

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenmat 
That and the Marble thing. . .  (and up here if it isn't that combo [chocolate and vanilla], it's not called Marble. :) 

I won't quote, or refer you to, the Wikipedia article, because I wrote one or two sentences thereof, but cf. this, which is cited in the Wikipedia article (and was before I got into it):

http://www.foodtimeline.org/foodcakes.html#marble

Everything quoted from prior to 1921 was some sort of spice marble or molasses marble.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FromScratchSF 

Snicker- never heard of Canukistan. That's hella funny!

Canuckistan was invented by a "furriner" graduate student for the benefit of all those Murkans who saw a license plate from Manitoba and said "that's in North Dakota, right?" 

The inventor used to go around imitating an accent and telling people he was Canuckistani and that we drove electric cars whenever they saw the block heater plug.  It was a lot more fun than trying to give people a geography lesson.

I used to spend summers in Gimli Manitoba which is half Icelandic and half Ukrainian.  There were quite a few people who spoke both languages at home. The Ukrainians don't call it "vinaterta" but we make a remarkably similar torte with cookie layers and fruit filling.

Murkens (are we just furriners to you, BakingIrene?)

I awake now just to run to my computer and read this hysterical thread.