Thanks~Kristen
The easiest and best bet if you have not done very much decorating would be to do a sheet cake then carve the top of the tombstone. After the cake is cooled completely simply place a piece of paper that has your desired shape for the top of the tombstone on it and cut away the part of sheet cake you don't need. Be sure to use a sharp knife - serrated works best.
The tombstone will be laying down on the cake board, but it will still be somewhat 3-D.
HTH 
Doug's drawing (as always) looks very sound. Why don't you find a tombstone cake on here (there are lots) and pm the maker of some you like. Most people are really happy to help others.
in answer to request received via email:
Hey Doug
Thank you for the diagram for the tombstone cake. This is going to be quite the feat for me. What is the best way for me to decorate this cake? I have many ideas floating around in my head but my lack of experience is getting the better of me. This cake is for my mom who is turning 60 in a few weeks and we;re having a surprise party for her. My dad thought a tombstone cake would be great (of cours after I said I would make the cake).
Any tips and pointers would be appreciated!
can easily do it in either buttercream or in fondant -- each has advantages.
BC-- easy to put on, can color, -- easy to mark up to make "cracks", very forgiving of mistakes (just wipe them off and re-ice)
Fondant -- smooth surface that can be textured, also easy to make cracks, easy to build up 3-D details like raised areas on edges, raised lettering or even indented lettering (like it was chiseled into).
and disadvantages:
BC-- hard to get same level/quality of hard edged 3-D detail as w/ fondant, can't do indented lettering as easily.
Fondant -- can be a bear to get smooth and on unwrinkled over odd shapes.
Personally, I'd do fondant as I like how it works like modeling clay and can get all kinds of details in it.
in this case, I'd use 3 pieces -- two matching front and back shapes and then a long narrow band (width of cake) for the edge. then would work the seems together to get a really sharp edge. from there I'd go on to do a built up frame on the front (about a 1 inch border) and then add indented letter, some cracks and some time of 3-D relief (a small medallion like an angel, etc.)
BC will also allow crisp edge w/ no seams if you are good at smoothing it. And you can pipe a wide flat border to create a front face frame.
It really comes down to what you feel comfortable and skilled at doing.
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