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My clueless MIL and cookie prices - Page 4

post #46 of 60
GeminiRJ-Do you have a tutorial for your cookies? I read through and saw you don't have a website have you thought about putting together a blog? Your cookies are AWESOME. ANd deserve way more than $5.00 per cookie!
post #47 of 60
I have several blogs over on www.blogspot.com You might check the site out.
It is set up easy enough for an old lady to figure out how to do.
(Me, not you) icon_biggrin.gif
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Tommy's favorite song? Roll roll roll your goat
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post #48 of 60
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SILVERCAT

GeminiRJ-Do you have a tutorial for your cookies? I read through and saw you don't have a website have you thought about putting together a blog? Your cookies are AWESOME. ANd deserve way more than $5.00 per cookie!



I've put together two tutorials: one for the turkey cookies, and one for the "black & white" designs (panda, zebra, cow). I submitted the tutorial on the turkey to CC 2-3 weeks ago, but haven't heard if it was approved. I've emailed a couple times, but gotten no response. The second tutorial I submitted to MailBox News, but have no idea if it will be printed. Putting together a blog? I'm a computer idiot...I wouldn't even know where to begin!
The pessimist complains about the wind;
the optimist expects it to change;
the realist adjusts the sails.
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The pessimist complains about the wind;
the optimist expects it to change;
the realist adjusts the sails.
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post #49 of 60
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarycreations

GeminiRJ,

I hope I won't make you mad, but you simply don't get it about your MIL the same way she doesn't get it about your cookies. (They are awesome.) I'm a widow of over 6 years who just got remarried in August. The best advice you got on the list was to get your MIL involved with a grief support group. You sound to me like a very caring but frustrated DIL. It's NOT the place of your husband to take over for his dad. The second year of being a widow is a lot harder for a lot of people than the first year, but that doesn't mean you should give up your husband.

Any nudging you give her to do for herself is likely to be dismissed by her as "you just don't understand". A good support group would give her a shoulder to lean on & encouragement to do these things herself. It is easier for another widow to point out the need to adjust than family members & have it listened to. She would meet other widows that had had everything done for them, but now mow their own yard, etc.

If you don't know of a local support group, I'd like to recommend http://www.widownet.org. It has articles, links & forums for widows & widowers. It has sections for those that have recently lost their spouse & those that lost their spouse over a year ago. Gently guide or push her towards a support group. If she says you don't understand, agree with her & point out that's WHY you want her to have people to talk to that do understand. It's not always mean to use someone's words against them. <G>

Good luck. I'll be rooting for you MIL wise & cookie-wise.



In no way would your suggestions make me mad! I would love to find a way to help her, but she absolutely refuses. She LIKES having people feel sorry for her, and she has gotten progressively more helpless. I try to do nice things for her, but it's never enough. She makes snide comments to my DH about never being around, which just sets him off. It's heartbreaking to see what was a very good relationship deteriorating before my eyes.
The pessimist complains about the wind;
the optimist expects it to change;
the realist adjusts the sails.
Reply
The pessimist complains about the wind;
the optimist expects it to change;
the realist adjusts the sails.
Reply
post #50 of 60
Older people and pricing are just humorous anyway! My MIL, who I love and adore, was telling us that the two of them went out for dinner and for the two of them, it cost (gulp!) FIFTEEN DOLLARS!! She was absolutely shocked! We were trying so hard not to laugh because it's not uncommon for our tips to be bigger than that!

But it's not just because she's older. How many of us have sisters, friends and co-workers who are our age and think the same thing ....."those would be about a buck and a half, right?"

I am constantly amused by the folks who have no idea what things cost but set a budget out of thin air, like the cake for 100 and "they just decided" that it would cost $25.

That would be like me planning to buy a new Cadillac and "just deciding" that my budget is $12,000...... then having the nerve to be shocked at what they really cost, when the salesman laughs me out of the showroom.

I have a survey question on my website on "how did you decide what your wedding budget would be?" It's running half and half between "We researched to find out what things cost" and "We just winged it".
post #51 of 60
See, I knew you came across as very caring. It's no wonder you're so frustrated.

Do you have any relatives that are widowed that could gently point out she's driving people away? A minister if you or she attend church? You would be better off if such suggestions came from someone other than you or your husband (I'm suspicious you have already figured that out.)

Of course, another approach might be to introduce her to single, charming gentlemen who might enjoy catering to a lady. <G> I hope you find a solution, because she is depriving herself of the company of what is obviously a loving family.

Good luck!
post #52 of 60
Thread Starter 
I wish I knew how to make everything right again. Maybe one day she'll move beyond the anger and bitterness of losing her husband, but I'm not optimistic. I'm trying to be more patient, and to keep myself from saying critical things about her to my DH. It's really all I can do. The rest is going to be up to her.
The pessimist complains about the wind;
the optimist expects it to change;
the realist adjusts the sails.
Reply
The pessimist complains about the wind;
the optimist expects it to change;
the realist adjusts the sails.
Reply
post #53 of 60

I am LOLing at some people's comments. At least we know we're not alone!

 

I try to avoid sharing ANYTHING about my personal interests with my MIL, because she (like everyone else's) knows everything about everything.... ever.  And whatever you think, you're stupid (mostly because she doesn't know anything and that fact that other people do makes her so insecure). 

 

So, I made some sugar cookies with simple royal icing designs for a Relay for Life bake sale. My husband thought they were AWESOME. He happened to be on the phone with his mother who said "How can a cookie be awesome? Its a cookie, give me a break." and then he sends her pictures.   I haven't heard her response, but I was so irritated with him for sharing that with her.

 

I made some shortbread cookies dipped in caramel, pecans and chocolate for Xmas one year, and she refused to eat them because they were "weird".  We ran into her coworker who told my husband that he found a good woman, because BOY! She can bake!  At least she took them to work and didn't throw them out.

 

She doesn't even try to be interested in the things I like, she just tells me everything that isn't completely bland, tasteless, run-of-the-mill and boring is "weird". She's just about the last person I would ever ask for input or advice from. 

post #54 of 60

OTOH, if she likes it, you know you've got a problem. :-)

Answers to the most often asked questions re: SPS. SPS instructions are on Page 15 of the Sticky at the top of the Cake Decorating Forum. Supplies can be ordered from Oasis Supply, Global or BakeryCrafts.
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Answers to the most often asked questions re: SPS. SPS instructions are on Page 15 of the Sticky at the top of the Cake Decorating Forum. Supplies can be ordered from Oasis Supply, Global or BakeryCrafts.
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post #55 of 60
Hahaha! No kidding!
Quote:
Originally Posted by leah_s View Post

OTOH, if she likes it, you know you've got a problem. icon_smile.gif

I love my MIL and get along great with her, it is my FIL's new wife that kills me. Her son got married two weeks ago, and I did the grooms cake for the rehearsal luncheon for her, and did the wedding cake for the MOB. The grooms cake was a 9" chocolate cake with chocolate covered strawberries on top and she asked 3 times about delivery! I told her each time that I couldn't do it, and it would be $40 if I could, but I only charged her $80 for the cake.

Finally 2 days before she needs it, she asks what time I will be delivering it. Grrrr.... I told her,"Karen, I already told you 3 times that there is no way I can deliver it, I don't know why you think I should gather my 4 kids into the car and drive 20 miles to deliver a cake when you can drive over here and get it yourself much easier. You will already be out of the house, and I already have too much to do this week!" She says, "oh, you didn't tell me!" I ignored it, but I wanted to say,"scroll up, stupid!" Because it was all on Facebook messages and it was plain as day I told her I would not bring it.
Beginners, be sure to parrot advice and get your post count up as fast as you can. After all, it's not what you know, it's what people THINK you know.
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Beginners, be sure to parrot advice and get your post count up as fast as you can. After all, it's not what you know, it's what people THINK you know.
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post #56 of 60
BTW, she was posting on her Facebook that her son and future DIL marriage won't be valid in the eyes of The Lord because they aren't getting married in a church. Even though a priest married them. She made her DIL cry, and MOB was furious. She is always saying something like that at every family gathering. I can't stand the witch.
Beginners, be sure to parrot advice and get your post count up as fast as you can. After all, it's not what you know, it's what people THINK you know.
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Beginners, be sure to parrot advice and get your post count up as fast as you can. After all, it's not what you know, it's what people THINK you know.
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post #57 of 60

My MIL used to run a hair salon and she was very friendly with all of her clients. I am looking to spread the word about my baking so I asked if I could drop off a new treat each week for her to give to her clients if they would like to try one. She didn't understand what I was asking but instead offered to let me bake organic/vegan cookies to possibly sell in a vending machine she was contemplating buying at some point in the unclear future. I wanted to ask if she had ever eaten my stuff? I am not conscious of the fat content I put in my food and whether or not it's vegan (I do try to make healthy choices when buying ingredients but I would never be able to exclude eggs, butter or milk). She basically wanted me to bake oatmeal cookies.... I asked her what kind of vending machine it was that she would be able to fit a whole cake inside. 

post #58 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annabakescakes View Post

BTW, she was posting on her Facebook that her son and future DIL marriage won't be valid in the eyes of The Lord because they aren't getting married in a church. Even though a priest married them. She made her DIL cry, and MOB was furious. She is always saying something like that at every family gathering. I can't stand the witch.

 

 

You might point out to your new in-law (sister, cousin, friend or whatever you consider her to be) that the BIBLE instructs us to support the laws of the land as long as they don't lead us to sin.  If the marriage is legal then the Lord will consider it valid also.  So no matter what her new MIL says, she's good.   icon_wink.gif

post #59 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi View Post

Older people and pricing are just humorous anyway! My MIL, who I love and adore, was telling us that the two of them went out for dinner and for the two of them, it cost (gulp!) FIFTEEN DOLLARS!! She was absolutely shocked! We were trying so hard not to laugh because it's not uncommon for our tips to be bigger than that!

But it's not just because she's older. How many of us have sisters, friends and co-workers who are our age and think the same thing ....."those would be about a buck and a half, right?"

I am constantly amused by the folks who have no idea what things cost but set a budget out of thin air, like the cake for 100 and "they just decided" that it would cost $25.

That would be like me planning to buy a new Cadillac and "just deciding" that my budget is $12,000...... then having the nerve to be shocked at what they really cost, when the salesman laughs me out of the showroom.

I have a survey question on my website on "how did you decide what your wedding budget would be?" It's running half and half between "We researched to find out what things cost" and "We just winged it".

 

I hate that! A friend of mine asked for a cake that would feed 35 people and said, "Don't worry, I will give you $30." 

That hardly even covered ingredients, but I made it anyway because she is my daughter's godmother. 

Not to mention it was coral and navy and I spent all night one night trying to mix the colors just right and every time I sent her a picture she would say, "Oh that's too dark." But when I made it darker she would say, "Maybe a little lighter?"

 

I think some people are clueless about how much a cake or cookies or anything like that costs. A dozen simple chocolate chip cookies from the supermarket costs $5 yet they expect shaped and beautifully decorated cookies for almost the same price!

post #60 of 60

Just FYI you could easily charge $5 for those cookies. They sell just flat cookies at Central Market for $5.00 I was going to buy one just to taste compare but didn't because of price. That is only because I don't like sugar cookies. However if the chocolate chip cookie at Chick-fil-a was $5.00 I'd still buy it!
 

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