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Mad... I need to vent! - Page 3

post #31 of 43

Good for you and I wish you luck. When I tried to get Grandma to help in the kitchen (and she was a great cook), it was difficult to be efficient when she wasn't familiar with the kitchen or the big mixer.  Have patience, and keep up your smile. Think, "It's all for the bride, it's all for the bride..."  But I would make the pretty signs just in case she goes ahead with her cupcakes the very next day!

post #32 of 43

Why don't you say that you're going to have plenty of cake servings with what you're making, and then offer to make cake mix cookies out of the mixes.  They really are not bad and kids love them.  That way no assumptions can be made.

post #33 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by GigisFreshBaked View Post
 

pretend to trip and knock all the cupcakes to the floor ... be VERY apologetic, then offer everyone a slice of wedding cake! ;) 

OP, I completely understand that you want to protect your reputation and business. Many suggestions made here are great and I'm glad to see you invited the Grandma over to bake with you - was she happy about that? I hope so and I'm sure you have made her work much lighter by doing that.

 

Just a note on the side... I am shocked at the above suggestion. This is food that would have been made by a grandmother of the bride. Whether it be boxed ones that taste good or not (you don't know if they would have been awful), that is no reason to intentionally damage food, rendering it inedible. What a waste of money, of time and complete lack of respect for the Grandmother and bride.

This is not the OP's day. Contrary to what most baker's think, our exquisite wedding cake is not the most important thing of the day. It is only there to compliment and enhance the most important thing - a marriage.

 

I agree with those who say...  the relationship and the sentiment of the niece and the grandmother is so special and it should be appreciated that she wants to be a part of the special day and contribute in some way. My own grandmother is 79 now, she used to be a chef and is still an amazing cook and baker - but her memory is not great and sometimes she forgets what she's salted, for example. When we have our Sunday lunches together and she offers to make something, I don't think twice about accepting her offer. It is a blessing to have something made by her hands, my children will have those memories forever - who cares if it may have a little less salt!!

Pearline
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Pearline
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post #34 of 43
I think she was joking. You know, the whole "winky face" thing...
post #35 of 43

AnnieCahill, I totally missed the winky face... :oops: If you were kidding then I'm so sorry, GigisFreshbaked.

 

Someone upthread had also mentioned option B - something about them "ending up in the garbage"...

 

Well I'm glad the OP respected the gran/mother-in-law enough to find a way to include her after all.

Pearline
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Pearline
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post #36 of 43

Well, I think it's time to jump back in ... Thank you AnnieCahill for noticing the 'winky face thing'.  Of course it was a joke.  It was a statement to 'lighten the mood', certainly not to be taken seriously! Apology accepted Pearl123 ... sometimes you can't take everyone too literally on these threads and those that do mean harm ... ignore, they love a good fight!  

 

Back to the cupcake issue ... let us know what ends up happening!  Good luck :) 

post #37 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahgale314 View Post

I have decided to invite her over, and have her help... No expired box mixes at the wedding!

This is a church wedding - we're in a rural area where the common practice is to invite everyone you've ever met and the entire church congregation to the reception! There's no meal served, and the bride and family stand in a line to one side, people show up like an open house and walk past the line, shaking hands and offering congratulations. Then they go by a buffet table where small bites are served, usually made by close friends and family members. In this case, the bride wanted to do a cookie and hot cocoa bar, and it was grandma's idea to add in the boxed cupcakes to it. After eating their small bites, the guests leave.

The bride has sent out more than 600 invitations, and probably 400-500 will come! The cake I'm making only serves 100, because it only needs to feed those who happen to be there when the bride and groom decide to cut the cake.

So, I will tell my mother in law that the cupcakes are a good idea, since most of the people who come through the reception will not get any cake, and this way they can have some. I will tell her that I have done several large cupcake orders, and she does not realize what a pain they are, nor does she have equipment that can make it much easier, like I do. Also, she will have several out of town family members at her house for the wedding, including children, and it would be quite difficult to make large batches of cupcakes with that going on. I will tell her she knows the guests are going to stress her out, and when the time comes, she may even end up being too busy to get the cupcakes done, so she should just come on up to my house with the pans and liners that she brought, and she can bake with me.

You are a good grand daughter. What a kind way to handle it. Often it's the grand children who are least understanding when their grandparents start to decline, partly because they never knew what vital people they were when they were younger.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pearl123 View Post
 

AnnieCahill, I totally missed the winky face... :oops: If you were kidding then I'm so sorry, GigisFreshbaked.

 

Someone upthread had also mentioned option B - something about them "ending up in the garbage"...

 

Well I'm glad the OP respected the gran/mother-in-law enough to find a way to include her after all.

I saw the wink and assumed it was indicating 'shared secret knowledge', not 'hahaha', I'm kidding.

post #38 of 43

howsweet...she's not the granddaughter, she's the daughter-in-law. It's her mother-in-law they're talking about.

post #39 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by imagenthatnj View Post
 

howsweet...she's not the granddaughter, she's the daughter-in-law.

It's her mother-in-law they're talking about.

It's her mother-in-law and Sarah titled this thread "MAD ... I NEED TO VENT"   :-x

~~We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons. ~Alfred E. Newman  
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~~We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons. ~Alfred E. Newman  
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post #40 of 43
Sorry, it was the niece's grandmother. I still think the OP decided to handle it in a loving way, regardless of whose grandmother it was.
post #41 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahgale314 View Post

I have decided to invite her over, and have her help... No expired box mixes at the wedding!

This is a church wedding - we're in a rural area where the common practice is to invite everyone you've ever met and the entire church congregation to the reception! There's no meal served, and the bride and family stand in a line to one side, people show up like an open house and walk past the line, shaking hands and offering congratulations. Then they go by a buffet table where small bites are served, usually made by close friends and family members. In this case, the bride wanted to do a cookie and hot cocoa bar, and it was grandma's idea to add in the boxed cupcakes to it. After eating their small bites, the guests leave.

The bride has sent out more than 600 invitations, and probably 400-500 will come! The cake I'm making only serves 100, because it only needs to feed those who happen to be there when the bride and groom decide to cut the cake.

So, I will tell my mother in law that the cupcakes are a good idea, since most of the people who come through the reception will not get any cake, and this way they can have some. I will tell her that I have done several large cupcake orders, and she does not realize what a pain they are, nor does she have equipment that can make it much easier, like I do. Also, she will have several out of town family members at her house for the wedding, including children, and it would be quite difficult to make large batches of cupcakes with that going on. I will tell her she knows the guests are going to stress her out, and when the time comes, she may even end up being too busy to get the cupcakes done, so she should just come on up to my house with the pans and liners that she brought, and she can bake with me.

Nicely done, good luck I'm going to have to make your cake to see how good it tastes.

post #42 of 43
I was adopted by my grandparents, shortly after my grandma passed away (about three years ago) I moved in with my grandfather. He had never paid bills before, living off SS he couldn't manage things alone as it is. I take care of him, the house, bills, etc. he has MS and is in the early stages of Dementia. His sister passed away this last year, she had the same disease. Its sad and scary situation for a family to deal with-it can be terribly frustrating at times. Im so sorry.

You obviously know her limitations better then we do, but she might not be able to produce all those treats. I think you made a wonderful decision in letting her come 'help', she probably just wants to be involved.

Typically when my pops wants to help me organize or whatever the task may be, I end up doing the work and he just sits and tells me stories icon_wink.gif

By the way, your recipe sounds delicious! One of my favorite coco brands!

Good luck with the cake
post #43 of 43

I hope it's not dementia but just her getting older. 

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