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Website Opinions Saught - Page 3

post #31 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stitches View Post

I appreciate the honest comments!!! I've got a busy weekend ahead of me, but I will make the changes asap.

 

Thank-you!!!!

 

P.S. I'll be back on this thread for more input after I make changes.

 

Still wondering which photos you all think should be on my front page???????????

 If you decide to add more photos to your front page you might consider showing off your range.  I only chose these for that reason (You will know what is right for your business, your demographics, and clients you are trying to attract -

Example:

Custom Wedding - Shells/Coral (a modern look)  Black & White scrolls (formal)

Simple - Orchids with bling ribbon - (shows very pretty sugar flowers)

Special Occasion - Toolbox, Purse, Blue striped baby cake

Holiday - This could be changed out depending on the holiday.

 

I just don't think your cakes are as "generic" as you think :)

post #32 of 65
Quote:
Still wondering which photos you all think should be on my front page???????????

 

I think the picture on your main page is VERY cute, but it does take up a lot of space and only show cases one of your many beautiful cakes. One thing you could do is use that picture as the first image of a slideshow that plays continuously once someone opens the page. The rest of the cakes would be your favorite cakes from each of your galleries. Check out this page for an example:

 

http://www.charmcitycakes.com/

http://letsgetcaking.blogspot.com/

 

All this cake, and I've gained too much weight. LOL! I am now....The Cake Runner!

 

http://thecakerunner.blogspot.com/

Reply

http://letsgetcaking.blogspot.com/

 

All this cake, and I've gained too much weight. LOL! I am now....The Cake Runner!

 

http://thecakerunner.blogspot.com/

Reply
post #33 of 65
Love your cakes! I agree with the scrolling a lot comment. Also, you may want to either put different styles of cakes on different pages, or make the separation between styles more obvious. As I was scrolling I was just looking at all the beautiful cakes and didn't notice the headers. It went sort of like this "beautiful, beautiful, ooh, beautiful, beau- wait, what is that? Is that a finger? And entrails? What the heck? It took me a minute to see the holiday header and the other scary cakes. Totally my style when prepared for it, but was a bit of a shock and I'm a horror movie fan. I imagine others might be put off by that.
post #34 of 65
I have circled a few of your cakes that really stand out in my opinion, mostly because of the way the photograph was taken to be honest as your cakes are all wonderful! If you PM me your email I'll send you on the pic; if I upload it in the thread it'll pop up on the new cakes ribbon on the home page and my PM won't let me attach anything... I really like the way you set out the 'simple' cakes section: one big lovely pic with a few variants beside it though I would change 'simple' to something like 'modest'
post #35 of 65
Thread Starter 

The very worst part of creating your business website for me, my "about me" page.............god help me, I really stink at this! Sooooooooo to start, I've been criticized to death over my poor writing skills..........and even laughed at by my hubby over my poor content, so please be kind. You all are the first to review this version.

 

 I'm seeking both critiques' on content and writing skills by all you experts out there, please? Keep in mind that this was REALLY hard for me to do. I've tried to establish myself as an expert, as many articles I've read tell you to do. I hope I did so with-out totally making a fool of myself....

 

https://wendy-debord.squarespace.com/about-wendy/    (p.s. I don't have any better photographs of myself)

 

tia

post #36 of 65
It's a good start. If you don't have access to a professional copy editor or proofreader I find it's helpful to have someone read the page to you aloud while you take notes on a printed copy of the page. It's important to have the reader speak slowly and enunciate, with special emphasis on punctuation (e.g. pausing for every comma). This should help you with grammar and flow.

Content-wise: personally I prefer writing an "about me" page in the first person, but that's subjective. Quotes around a word can sometimes be interpreted as an indication of irony, e.g. "real" cake not actually being real. You also pose the question "is there fake cake" but this question is never addressed. What is fake cake, and how is it different from your real cake? Do you really want to provide almost unlimited flavor choices?

Don't abbreviate "C.C." Something like this might work better (note the "rule of three"):
"In 1990 Wendy became a pastry chef and developed unique Xs, Ys, and Zs for the area's finest country clubs, including Bull Valley, Barrington Hills, and Royal Fox."

Also, saying you will work with a customer "from design to taste" doesn't seem comprehensive enough, especially if you offer tastings before the final product is created. "From design to delivery" might be a better choice, with a bonus of added alliterative appeal.

BTW congrats on owning your business for over 800 years. icon_wink.gif
Edited by jason_kraft - 7/29/13 at 3:24pm
post #37 of 65
Thread Starter 

Thank-you for your suggestions Jason. I did make the corrections you saw. It still needs some tweaking.......... I'm definitely open to any ideas anyone has.

post #38 of 65

I agree with Jason, if it's About Wendy, then it should be in the first person.  Also, a couple of typos - should be reflects, not reflexs, and unless the bakery was owned by multiple families, should be family's (shows ownership) instead of families (plural).  As far as the picture, it's not a bad picture, but consider having a friend take one with you in a chef's coat, or with a cake.  It only takes a minute and I think your professional background and skill level warrants a more professional picture rather than just a pretty one probably taken at a social gathering.  Just my 2 cents.  

 

Still a big fan of your cakes, and I like how you have separated the cake sections now.  Also, I know some were not thrilled with the idea of a "modest" cake section, but I think it will appeal to many brides wanting to stick to a budget.  They can pick a beautiful cake and make it their own with the little details.  Very nice!

post #39 of 65
Thread Starter 

Thank-you FrostedMoon, I did take your advise and made corrections. Hopefully, I changed my writing correctly into first person?

 

I agree with your comments on my photograph (I was hoping to squeeze by with just a friendly shot), but hubby was looking over my shoulder and made fun of it. I'm going to leave that one there until I can get a better shot, than replace it.

 

I did decide to keep my 'modest' line wording. It's accurate and it's a reflection of who I am and what I'll do for my clients. My target clients are not pretentious people.

post #40 of 65

I hope you don't mind me putting this in here.  I've made changes in blue.  After reading this a few more times, I'm still not sure the average person is going to understand what a "genuine real item" is in regards to a cake.  Are you talking about fresh ingredients? What specifically makes your cakes the best product possible? Cakes made from basic real ingredients like flour, butter, sugar, etc?  I kid you not that my husband has no clue what it means to make a cake from scratch vs a box mix, and he's watched me make cakes for years!  You have to remember that not everyone is aware of this type of difference!  You may want to throw something in there like "my products are made from quality ingredients such as fresh eggs, flour, and sugar, not hard to pronounce chemicals." If that is what you are going for, of course.

 

"Some may wonder why I chose the name Real Cake.  Is there such a thing as fake cake? My business name reflects my values and commitment to making the best products possible.  My products are the genuine real items you so rarely receive anymore. Real Cake provides almost unlimited flavor choices because have the expertise to do so.

I have been a Professional Chef since 1980. I am a second generation Chef who began cooking and baking at my family's bakery and catering company ‘The Pastry Cart’ in Long Grove, IL. In addition to being a Chef, I am also an award winning artist who's exhibited at many Chicago area fine art juried exhibitions and shows.

 In 1990 I began specializing as a Pastry Chef. As such, I've worked as the Pastry Chef at some of Chicago Lands finest Country Clubs; Bull Valley, Barrington Hills, Crystal Lake, Royal Fox & Shoreacres Golf Club. I've worked hard honing my craft and attending many professional level pastry courses to perfect my recipes and skills.

 In 2012 I began Real Cake, Inc., now my work is available to everyone. I will work closely with you to create an unforgettable cake for any of your special events!"

 

 

Of course I will in no way be offended if you choose to not make these changes, just my opinion!

post #41 of 65

Some may wonder why I choose
chose

the name Real Cake,  is there fake cake?
the name Real Cake, is there fake cake? (delete extra space)

Our products are the genuine real items, you so rarely receive anymore.
Our products are the genuine real items you so rarely receive anymore.

Real Cake, provides almost unlimited flavor choices because we have the expertise to do so.
Real Cake provides almost unlimited flavor choices, because we have the expertise to do so.

I am a second generation Chef whom began
I am a second-generation chef who began

In addition to being a Chef, I also am a award winning artist who’s exhibited at many Chicago area fine art juried exhibitions and shows.
In addition to being a chef, I also am an award-winning artist who’s exhibited at many Chicago area fine-art-juried exhibitions and shows.

 In 1990 I began specializing as a Pastry Chef. As such, I've worked as the Pastry Chef at some of Chicago Lands finest Country Clubs; Bull Valley, Barrington Hills, Crystal Lake, Royal Fox & Shoreacres Golf Club.
 (delete extra space)In 1990, I began specializing as a pastry chef. As such, I've worked as the pastry chef at some of Chicagoland’s finest country clubs; Bull Valley, Barrington Hills, Crystal Lake, Royal Fox, & Shore Acres Golf Club.

I've worked hard honing my craft and attending many professional level pastry courses
I've worked hard honing my craft and attending many professional-level pastry courses

 In 2012 I began Real Cake, Inc., now my work is available to everyone.
 (delete extra space)In 2012, I began Real Cake, Inc., now my work is available to everyone.
 

post #42 of 65
Thread Starter 
Quote:

 

 

Of course I will in no way be offended if you choose to not make these changes, just my opinion!

Offended..............not a chance!!! I'm very grateful for everyone's help.

 

CRW41 big hugs! Thank-you!

post #43 of 65

a award-winning artist

an

 

In 1990 I began

In 1990,

 

& Shoreacres

and Shore Acres

 

In 2012 I began

In 2012,
 

post #44 of 65
Thread Starter 

Thanks, I made those improvements too! Shoreacres really is one word.

 

I'm wondering if I should remove the sentence ..........."Our products are the genuine real items you so rarely receive anymore."? That line and talking about real verses fake is sort of like opening up a topic and not explaining it completely. Yet, my customers come to me because they know my product quality. I couldn't quite figure out how to talk about the differences with-out saying something negative about others. Should I just take it out, or is it o.k. leaving it there?

post #45 of 65
Considering it's the name of your business and one of your competitive advantages I think it's pretty important to include it in your about page. Providing a few examples of what you consider real ingredients and what you consider "fake" ingredients should drive the point home, e.g. all-natural butter made from milk vs. artificial shortening made from oil that has been chemically transformed into a solid state through a hydrogenation process.

And don't forget the rule of three.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_three_%28writing%29
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