I Think I Was Stabbed? (Very Long Vent)

Business By cocorum21 Updated 29 Jan 2007 , 8:21pm by Peachshortcake

Landa Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Landa Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 6:35pm
post #31 of 59

Let her fail miserably. I would but I am mean like that. I have never shown anyone but my sisters (so we could have a bonding experience)and they always come back to me with,"Can you make a cake for me?"

I would let her fail, fail, FAIL! LOL

aoliveira Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
aoliveira Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 6:40pm
post #32 of 59

First, that is such a stab in the back. Sounds like she's trying to steal your thunder.

Anyway, as another poster mentioned, I would approach the girl's parents to make sure they're on board with this. They may not want her to make the cake and just don't know how to handle it.

Also, I would tell this "Susan" that in order to make these cakes she needs training. She needs to take classes and decorate many cakes.

People think just because you buy a set of decorating tips you can call yourself a decorator. It does take training, hard work,and talent.

Good luck,

Alex

aoliveira Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
aoliveira Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 6:40pm
post #33 of 59

First, that is such a stab in the back. Sounds like she's trying to steal your thunder.

Anyway, as another poster mentioned, I would approach the girl's parents to make sure they're on board with this. They may not want her to make the cake and just don't know how to handle it.

Also, I would tell this "Susan" that in order to make these cakes she needs training. She needs to take classes and decorate many cakes.

People think just because you buy a set of decorating tips you can call yourself a decorator. It does take training, hard work,and talent.

Good luck,

Alex

paolacaracas Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
paolacaracas Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 7:02pm
post #34 of 59

[quote="aoliveira"]Anyway, as another poster mentioned, I would approach the girl's parents to make sure they're on board with this. They may not want her to make the cake and just don't know how to handle it.

I wouldn't do that, she might get caught in another's family "who said what" problem.
But I think only the mom can cancel, maybe you still have your order and you don't know, untill not canceled, you still have to meke (and charge) the cake. and a good lesson to learn from all this is CHARGE AN ORDER DEPOSIT ALLWAYS
Paola

Janette Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Janette Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 7:10pm
post #35 of 59

I won't even teach my own daughter.

I started cake decorating so I can make cakes for my Grandchildren so I don't want her to know how.

elvisb Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
elvisb Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 7:48pm
post #36 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by Janette

I won't even teach my own daughter.

I started cake decorating so I can make cakes for my Grandchildren so I don't want her to know how.




And the kids get a special cake from Grandma! That's sweet! Too bad I didn't think of that! I taught my daughter, but she's only 9. She'll get her butt kicked if I don't get to do my grandkids' cakes! icon_twisted.gif

nglez09 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
nglez09 Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 8:05pm
post #37 of 59

The joke's on her. Just wait until your day of glory- when she fails miserably and you laugh and then everyone feels sorry for the cake. icon_twisted.gif

amandasweetcakes Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
amandasweetcakes Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 8:06pm
post #38 of 59

Man that stinks! If she actually makes the cake, you know she will be calling you for help!! Your the decoratorm, not her. Don't help her, what ever you do. I know some cake people locally and I don't like to talk about cake stuff around them for fear a secret will slip.

Good Luck!

indydebi Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
indydebi Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 8:22pm
post #39 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lexy

I would make the sweet 16th cake ....... then give the cake to the birthday girl the night before that way when she sees the difference in standards and how good yours is, shes sure to have yours at her party.




This is so wicked! I LUV IT!!!!!!!!! icon_twisted.gif

LisaMS Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
LisaMS Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 8:26pm
post #40 of 59

First, I'd call whomever was going to pay for that cake and see if they still want you to do it; explain that you understand Susan wants to do it now, etc., and you just wanted to double check.

I looked at your album and your work is very good, and even if Susan wanted to steal all your business, I am sure she couldn't, so look for other sources for cake orders. You should have no problem finding customers elsewhere. Chin up!

cocorum21 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
cocorum21 Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 8:32pm
post #41 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoanneK

I really don't think she meant to be mean or walk over you. I think it just sounds fun and she had a chance to do some cakes.




I think you're right. I don't think she was trying to be mean. And I don't think I'm really upset with her I think I'm just upset with the situation.

The thing about mom not cancelling I'm, kind of confused because mom was there. It was just kinda brushed over after Susan mentioned she was going to make the cake the subject was quickly changed. So I didn't say anything. Which is another reason I don't want to get in between family, maybe it was hard for them to say no.I would rather do the sweet 16 cake over the 40th cake simply because of the fact I know the 15 y/o would appreciate it more.


I'm not good with confrontation so I'm not going to say anything to her, I'll just let her do her thing and hopefully the powdered sugar will settle soon and all will go back to normal.

I'll definately be recommending Wilton's courses from now on and direct her to the local book store where she can purchase some books.

blues Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
blues Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 10:27pm
post #42 of 59

I think that most people just "don't get it" when it comes to making cakes. By no means am I a professional, but my cakes have gotten a lot of compliments. People don't realize that it takes a few days to make a cake. I just don't bake the cake and plop some canned icing on it. If flowers are involved, it takes several days of advanced planning for the cake. If she is really that interested in learning how to decorate, she needs to sign up for classes. Just to cover yourself, check with the people who originally ordered from you. They may not quite know what to do--they evidently prefer your cakes and may have been dumbfounded when Susan said she'd make the cake. I wouldn't offer to help her either.

Janette Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Janette Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 11:04pm
post #43 of 59

When you are typing something on the net things can be taken the wrong way. I don't mean to be offensive so please don't take it that way. icon_rolleyes.gif

To think she didn't mean anything is being nieve unless she is really stupid.

People will only do what you let them do. I don't mean go beat her up, just don't let this go any further. By no means teach her anything. If she does a half *** job that is a reflection on you and you don't need that.

And if she is really interested it's best to take the class.

I know I have let people pull a fast one on me but it doesn't happen a second time.

I wouldn't worry about the 16th cake. Do like everyone recommended you do, ask about it.

By the way your cakes are beautiufl. Really beautiful.

melodyscakes Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
melodyscakes Posted 25 Jan 2007 , 3:19pm
post #44 of 59

I was thinking last night before falling asleep...she wants to make a birthday cake, and she thinks she can because she "helped you" and you "taught her" how to do it.....but really,
did she mix the cake?
did she flour the pan?
did she bake the cake?
did she flip the cake out of the pan?
did she wait the right amount of time before frosting the cake?
did she mix the frosting to the right consistancy?
does she even know how to make the frosting?
does she know how to do the basic frosting of the cake?
did she fill the prarchment bag?
did she choose the tip to use?

noooo
she just did a few decorations, which you had to fix later.

but she can "do" the cake now?

I was laughing to myself.

please post us the picture of the cake she makes....if she stays interested that long.

def. call the mother and talk to her, she may still want you to do the cake.

let us know.

melody

indydebi Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
indydebi Posted 25 Jan 2007 , 3:34pm
post #45 of 59

melodyscakes, I loved that! Reminds me of my ex-husband! I would talk to the bride, book the wedding, buy the supplies, make the cake, ice the cake, decorate the cake, load the van, drive to the location, set up the wedding cake, cut and serve the wedding cake, tear down and clean up, load the van, drive it home. He would carry my equipment from the van to the house and tell everyone that "WE" do weddings! icon_confused.gif

cocorum21 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
cocorum21 Posted 25 Jan 2007 , 3:42pm
post #46 of 59

Janette what you said is not offensive. I thought about what you were saying and I do tend to be naive of peoples intentions. I want to hope for the best.

Well, the party is in 6 weeks so she has enough time to take a class and learn something.

Like making her own icing, icing her own cake, picking out the tips for certain flowers, filling her piping bags......all the stuff she didn't do the first time. icon_rolleyes.gif

I'll keep you guys posted.

[/quote]

cocorum21 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
cocorum21 Posted 29 Jan 2007 , 10:48am
post #47 of 59

Here's the update:

Susan called on Saturday and stupid me answered the phone without looking at caller ID She said she was going to michael's and wanted to know if she could call me while she was there so I could tell her everything she needs. When she called back I was conveniently away from the phone.

Then last night finally sat down to watch some tv and head to bed a knock at the door. I thought it was a neighbor.(we don't have the little peep hole) I swing the door open and TADA!!! Susan is standing there with her bags from michael's and she wants to go over her stuff! icon_eek.gif

I can easily not answer the phone but if she's going to start just showing up with her stuff I don't know what I'm gonna do. I can't hide in my house because of my son(can't keep him quiet). I think I'm gonna have to be "sick" over the next few weeks. icon_rolleyes.gif

elvisb Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
elvisb Posted 29 Jan 2007 , 1:29pm
post #48 of 59

I think rather than be miserable, you need to be honest with her. Tell her you feel like she's stepped on your toes. You still want to be friends, but if she would take a class or ask someone else for cake advice, you would really prefer it. Tell you feel like she's taken your advice and stolen your business. You did have an order to do her niece's cake until now. Tell her gently, and maybe she'll understand. I think you'll both feel better having the air cleared.

MariaLovesCakes Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
MariaLovesCakes Posted 29 Jan 2007 , 1:52pm
post #49 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by cocorum21

I have been actively searching for spaces to rent to get my business going. I've only sold one cake (to a friend) and I really didn't make enough to cover the expenses, I didn't know much about pricing at the time. So, my friend, I'll call her Susan, was asking about this space that I was interested in. I was giving her the scoop and she asked if I would need help once I am up and running. I said yeah sure, not really thinking that she was serious. She starts talking about how she needs something to do blah blah blah.... She is a SAHWife. She just wants a job. So I told her maybe if I had a large job I might be able to use her help but I couldn't promise anything. I was thinking she could help me baking and making cookies or something simple. Then she says "you can teach me how to decorate cakes". Now, I am by no means a teacher. Even if I was a great decorator that still doesnt mean I could teach. I just don't have the patience for people to give instruction over and over.

Well she starts talking and I can't get a word in and somewhere in her rambling she asked me to show her how to decorate a cake for her BIL birthday last week. I told her yeah she could come by the house on Sat and we could start working on it(for Tuesday). Im thinking a simple round cake with some drop flowers. Simple right?
Saturday comes and no show. Sunday, Monday, no show. Tuesday she calls. She wants to make a naughty cake! icon_eek.gif Upper and lower! icon_eek.gif I explained that something like that you cant so in a few hours. Besides that there was no way I would be able to show her how to do that being its her first time decorating a cake and Ive never done a naughty cake.

So, I ended up baking the round cake torting the cake & making the icing. I don't know what she really learned because for the most part she was outside smoking and talking with my DH. Finally I starting feeling resentful icon_mad.gif and I went outside and told her that her cake was ready for her to decorate. After she iced her cake and went for a smoke break I had to re-do it. She wanted to do roses not the drop flowers. I had to teach her how to do roses. Im not a master at doing them myself. To top it off Susan is usually heavily medicated because she has back problems so she doesnt have much coordination and shes pretty loopy. dunce.gif Me not having a teaching bone in my body and her with loopiness coordination I can honestly say, I hated having anything to do with that cake.

?




I am sorry, I didn't have time to read the whole thread yet, but just wondering, ... She couldn't possibly be able to do the sweet 16 cake or anyother cake for that matter, because she didn't pay much attention when you were trying to teach her (outside smoking while you were getting the cake ready) and her coordination isn't very good either. So, I don't think that she is off to a good start..

However, it does seem that she was trying to get some skills out of you so she could use them for herself.

I would mention something, although among friends, this is easier said that done, but maybe just take a deep breath and say it fast. That way it is out and see what happens.

I wish you the best of luck because I know it isn't easy.

bohemia Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
bohemia Posted 29 Jan 2007 , 2:00pm
post #50 of 59

I think "Honesty" is the best thing here. You should tell her that you are not willing to help her with the cake in the nicest possible way.

Believe me, some people can be extremely dense and won't be able to read any of the signals you are sending , no matter how many! Just tell her you can't help her out and that's that. If you keep ducking and dodging she will find a way to get back into your life somehow. Tell her the truth and hope for the best. At least you were honest with her.

Best of Luck!

CarolAnn Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
CarolAnn Posted 29 Jan 2007 , 2:02pm
post #51 of 59

Have I missed something? I thought I'd read all the posts, but did you call the woman who ordered the cake from you to confirm the order? If not you should and if so SHE should have called her sister and made it clear that you will be making the sweet sixteen cake. I wouldn't want to get into "family stuff" either but I sure wouldn't want to put ina lot of time making a cake that's no longer needed. I also wouldn't want to be the one who brings the cake that makes this Susan look and feel bad withher whole family. Getting confirmation/touching base on the order is good business and you shouldn't feel bad about doing that. The sister who asked you to do the cake shouldn't be leaving this on your shoulders. If she was there at the time Susan announced she'd do the cake and the sis changed the subject there's a reason. But she ought to handle this so you aren't spending time and $ on a cake that isn't going to be the feature cake at the party.

Honesty (doled out kindly in most instances) is the best policy. Kindness (doled out even when it's most difficult) always has an impact. Susan seems clueless to me. Maybe because her sister isn't taking responsibility that's really hers. Good luck!

elvisb Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
elvisb Posted 29 Jan 2007 , 2:22pm
post #52 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolAnn

I wouldn't want to get into "family stuff" either but I sure wouldn't want to put ina lot of time making a cake that's no longer needed. I also wouldn't want to be the one who brings the cake that makes this Susan look and feel bad withher whole family. Getting confirmation/touching base on the order is good business and you shouldn't feel bad about doing that. The sister who asked you to do the cake shouldn't be leaving this on your shoulders.




You know, it kind of seems like these 2 sisters have PUT you in the middle, and now you're the one dealing with all the grief. I agree that you need to confirm your order for the sweet 16 cake. Let that sister tell you who has the order, and kindly tell her that you would prefer not to be caught in the middle. She needs to resolve this and deal with her sister, not you.

rhopar33 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
rhopar33 Posted 29 Jan 2007 , 2:34pm
post #53 of 59

This really is a tough situation. I would strongly suggest that you back off, let her make a mess of the cakes, and watch her family come back to you next year. the truth is, if she really wanted to learn she could go take a class instead of trying to taking advantage of you. Just as others have said, never, ever show your skills or give away secrets. You'd be surprised at who would do this type of thing!

meggylou Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
meggylou Posted 29 Jan 2007 , 2:56pm
post #54 of 59

Half of me is agreeing with everyone who is saying "let Susan screw up the cake" because then the family and Susan will realize their mistake of letting her do the cake. But the other half of me is saying what about the Birthday Girl?? Why does she have to get an ugly cake from her aunt because the woman is dense. She wanted a great cake made by a professional for her special day. A Sweet Sixteen is an important birthday, and maybe this isn't the time to "teach a lesson". I really think that you should talk to her Mom and find out what the real deal is.
JMHO

toristreats Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
toristreats Posted 29 Jan 2007 , 3:34pm
post #55 of 59

I'm sorry this is happening to you. It's never fun stuck in the middle. You need to talk to Susan and her sister. You need to let Susan know how you feel and you need to confirm your order with her sister. It won't be easy, but you need to do it. Susan probably doesn't realize she stepped on your toes. If you talk with her calmly and nicely I'm sure she will understand.

cocorum21 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
cocorum21 Posted 29 Jan 2007 , 3:48pm
post #56 of 59

I haven't talked to the 16y/o's mother yet I am going to ask if she wants me to make a "backup" cake.

I have been throwing hints about her decorating, I asked if she was going to start selling cakes now and she said she didn't know so I mentioned the classes at michael's again & I thought she might get the hint but she didn't. I can see I am going to have to be blunt.

Janette Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Janette Posted 29 Jan 2007 , 6:49pm
post #57 of 59

I know I said this but it worth mentioning again.

Coco, arn't you concerned that if you showed her and she did a lousy job that it would reflect on you?

If you are wanting to do cakes for yourself, your reputaton is on the line.

I can't understand if she is a diz and doesn't think or if she just doesn't care that she is stepping on your toes.

christeena Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
christeena Posted 29 Jan 2007 , 7:58pm
post #58 of 59

I agree with meggylou! Although, this is a very tough situation the person that is going to be hurt the most is the birthday girl. I'm sure she is expecting an awesome cake and not only are you in the middle of a crappy situation but so is she trying to appease her "loopy" aunt! Definately talk to the mom and see if she wants a backup cake maybe for a reduced fee in case the aunt's cake is a complete disaster! You won't feel like a schmuck and the birthday girl will have a great cake for her special day! I wouldn't worry about the aunt's feelings - she doesn't have any!!!

Peachshortcake Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Peachshortcake Posted 29 Jan 2007 , 8:21pm
post #59 of 59

I think the best way to do this is call the mum of the 16year old and just confirm your order with her. It would be the easiet way for both of you since you wont seem like you are butting into things and if this is the case with susan making the cake then the mum can do her best to politely back out. If she ends up asking why you havent confirmed before just tell her that you are starting to book more orders and its just a new thing you are doing to help keep yourself organized. That also gives the added bonus of letting her know that you wont be available if she finds that she wants to order a last minute replacement cake.

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%