How difficult it is to say no to a relative's request for a cake???? - Page 3

Quote:

Originally Posted by costumeczar 

I don't know, I think that most of the time we women overthink this kind of thing. I'm with Jason on this one, just say you can't do it and cut through all the "what will they think of me" nonsense. Personally, I wouldn't say "I'd like to but..." Because some people will take that as an invitation to badger you further!

"I'd like to, but..."  is a business tactic. Nothing wrong with appearing to be positive.

You know what the problem around pricing is.    Because we enjoy making the creations so much, then there is this guilt thing going on.  Running the belief of, I cannot charge properly if I have enjoyed myself so much.  Work is supposed to be a drudge, something that you leave the house for and do with grim determination and look forward to holidays.   A lot of people feel seriously uncomfortable in billing relatives or otherwise, for something they have actually enjoyed doing, something that they jump out of bed in the morning, actually looking forward to.   If we can change our mindset and feel comfortable and OK with charging the correct price for a job well done, regardless of whether we enjoyed it, so feel guilty and drop the price, then a lot of these relatives requests would stop, whilst they clear off to Costco to get a cake to feed 30 people for £15!   Rant over....:) Kx 

Quote:

Originally Posted by MimiFix 

"I'd like to, but..."  is a business tactic. Nothing wrong with appearing to be positive.

Sure,but the topic is freeloaders who want free cake, so that isn't business

Quote:

Originally Posted by costumeczar 

Sure,but the topic is freeloaders who want free cake, so that isn't business

Yes, dear, I know we're talking about family freeloaders, and the topic is not about business. But it's nice to be nice. At least I think it still is. All these forums (and social media in general) have been changing the rules.  

Quote:

Originally Posted by MimiFix 

Yes, dear, I know we're talking about family freeloaders, and the topic is not about business. But it's nice to be nice. At least I think it still is. All these forums (and social media in general) have been changing the rules.  

Well, calling me "dear" comes off a little snarky, little thumbs-up emote aside. And of course it's nice to be nice, but with relatives who assume that you will make them free merchandise it's generally a better policy to be direct and just say no if you don't want to do it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by costumeczar 

Well, calling me "dear" comes off a little snarky, little thumbs-up emote aside. And of course it's nice to be nice, but with relatives who assume that you will make them free merchandise it's generally a better policy to be direct and just say no if you don't want to do it.

Sorry, I'm probably old enough to be your grandmother. And maybe too old to participate in these forums. My apologies, I meant nothing mean or nasty. 

Here's my solution:

I have a group of people whom I consistently invite for dinner for all major holidays (Christmas, Easter etc).  Not all of them are family, and some family are conspicuously not invited (because I don't do drama).  Those invitees are the people for whom I will always make cakes on their birthdays, and sometimes for their other special occasions like weddings etc.  I will also make cakes, if they ask, for their children/grandchildren's birthdays (and ONLY their birthdays).  Except for my sister who works for child services--she will sometimes ask for a cake for one of her wee clients--in that case she will give me a topic and a flavor and I have free reign to do as I will (the Lego cake in my photos was one of those).  None of them has ever asked me to go outside those boundaries, and anyone outside those boundaries who asks for a cake is treated as a customer, some of whom get deep discounts and others who pay full price.  People who cross certain boundaries deserve to be treated as customers, because actual friends don't take advantage of friends.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MimiFix 

Sorry, I'm probably old enough to be your grandmother. And maybe too old to participate in these forums. My apologies, I meant nothing mean or nasty. 

I doubt that you're old enough to be my grandmother, she would have been 94 this year!

I had a family member who wanted to order a cake from me but every conversation and every email contained references to "the family discount". I finally told him that it was apparent he was expecting a very inexpensive price and being that I am not a huge company able to buy at a bulk discount I just could not offer pricing in the range I was sure he was expecting. I told him he should probably go ahead and go to Walmart for his cake but thanks for thinking of me. He went elsewhere and I don't have to think stabbity thoughts at him at every family gathering.

No gets easier every time you say it!

I'd say, "Unless you're my mama, my grandma or my kid, there is no such thing as a family discount."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franluvsfrosting 

I had a family member who wanted to order a cake from me but every conversation and every email contained references to "the family discount". I finally told him that it was apparent he was expecting a very inexpensive price and being that I am not a huge company able to buy at a bulk discount I just could not offer pricing in the range I was sure he was expecting. I told him he should probably go ahead and go to Walmart for his cake but thanks for thinking of me. He went elsewhere and I don't have to think stabbity thoughts at him at every family gathering.

 

No gets easier every time you say it!

"Stabbity thoughts". . . . I love it!