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How difficult it is to say no to a relative's request for a cake???? - Page 2

post #16 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by kikiandkyle View Post

Move to another continent, works like a charm for me!

 

worked like a charm too funny!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

know what? i like this story

 

at a family wedding a long time ago i promised my little grand nephew sure i'd do his & his sister's wedding cake

 

couple years ago sure enough she got married and i did her cake because i had promised him in a moment of weakness--who knew he'd remember ;)

 

traveled 2000 miles to do it at my sister's house--she was flat stinkin' amazed at the expense and the work

 

thank goodness she was out when i torted and filled--god i ruined her kitchen--my husband cleaned it up ♥♥♥

 

but she made me a collage of pictures of the endeavor--pretty cool--and srsly she was floored at the energy & planning & all

 

peeps don't get it and we should advise them

 

i have my grand nephew talked into a nice custom groom's cake for his wedding--someday icon_lol.gif 

 

family needs to support out business--not crush it or us in the process

I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.

 

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I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.

 

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post #17 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by MimiFix View Post

Jason is too business oriented, even when dealing with family. :)  I prefer to start out on a positive note: "I'd like to but I'm really busy and can't make you a cake."

I don't know, I think that most of the time we women overthink this kind of thing. I'm with Jason on this one, just say you can't do it and cut through all the "what will they think of me" nonsense. Personally, I wouldn't say "I'd like to but..." Because some people will take that as an invitation to badger you further!

post #18 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar View Post

I don't know, I think that most of the time we women overthink this kind of thing. I'm with Jason on this one, just say you can't do it and cut through all the "what will they think of me" nonsense. Personally, I wouldn't say "I'd like to but..." Because some people will take that as an invitation to badger you further!

 

 

yes

 

let them know they are needed to help support your business

 

hand them some business cards and tell them when your business has five employees to handle the volume you can then afford to give them a discount so they need to get busy handing out the cards & spreading the word ;)

I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.

 

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I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.

 

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post #19 of 44

My closest relative (a cousin who is like a sister...with all that baggage with it KWIM?) who lets her girls call me directly and ask for a birthday cake, even though she has made it quite clear that she in no way intends to pay for those cakes.thumbsdown.gif  On one cake, I asked her to at least cover expenses as I know they don't have a lot of money, so $40.  She called me on the way to see how much I needed to have because they had to wait for a check to clear to get money out of the ATM to give it to me and can they split it...blah, blah, blah.  I told her to just forget it and consider it their birthday gift. I have done three cakes for the three girls and if I am not busy on their birthdays and have some extra layers ready I will drop off a little something for them (she doesn't regularly do parties, and i have only been invited to two). But after this last time of having a 9 year old asking me to make her a special cake for her birthday (a 1D cake -oh joy) and being able to say no -- i really was overbooked with wedding cakes that weekend and couldn't do it anyway-- I feel bullet-proof with any family requests.  Now if she wanted to respect the money and time that goes into a cake and want to work out a budget and give me advance notice...i would probably take less money and way over deliver for a very special cake, but not if i'm considered the free cake vs a Walmart sheet cake. 

post #20 of 44

I would be honored to make my grandmother a cake for her friends. If she asked weekly no, but for once a year or every 5 years than sure grandma. But, that's just me and the way my small family rolls.

post #21 of 44

I pretty much have family and close friends well trained. They ask  if I am able to fit in a cake for them. Sometimes I can't, but they know that if they get the request in by baking day , often I can accommodate them.  However , they do understand if it is a big week and I can't  or are happy to downsize to simple if I get snowed under. 

 

Last week , I only had my  classes to teach and a bridal consult so I was Happy to do a cake for my niece , for one of her colleagues.  She did offer to pay me , so I only charged her $50  for the cake ( client price $150 )  . She sends a lot of work my way so the discount is justified. 

She turned up to pick it up on Sunday morning with Two dozen roses as well as the money . I also got a big hug and told I am the most Amazing Aunt in the Universe. 

She also took a stack of cards to distribute at the party and she plastered the cake all over her facebook page too. 

 

If you are going to give discounts or freebies to family , make 'em work for it , I say. icon_wink.gif

post #22 of 44

I think just using lack of time as an 'excuse' is the kindest way.  I lost count of the times friends asked - could you just knock me up a cake - expecting it clearly for either zero money or cost of ingredients only.    Or the silliest one is - offering a cake as a birthday present.   Then spending ten hours of your life creating the thing.  Everyone else turns up with a £20 gift - but your is worth 8 - 10 x that!   The thing is this - we have 24 hours in the day, given to each and every one of us.  We have to choose how we spend our time.  It is irreplaceable, we need to value it.   Just because we have a skill that the relatives value, we need to value it ourselves too.  Even if you charge and gift the income to charity - I still think you should charge!

post #23 of 44

If they ask me for a cake of their design choice:

       They pay full price (including a rush fee if ordered within 7 days) minus £20%..... unless I owe them a favour then it's cost or free depending on favour value)

 

If they ask me for a cake of my design choice where I can try out or pratice something new:

       Free or cost price depending on size

 

If I offer to provide a cake:

       Cake is free (and is usually my 'gift')

 

If they "hint hint hint please offer me a free cake cos if I ask I have to pay":

       I'm unavailable

 

 

And all F&F cakes come with the clause: 'if you make me cut it you don't get a slice!'

post #24 of 44

i worked for this company that had several stores--the one i was in struggled breaking even.

 

the guy's family got free stuff left and right--the parents did not--the owner forced them to take free--the sibling got hundeds of dollars of free in a month's time every month

 

he pressed the staff to sell more-- pressed us because he operated at a loss--but gave it away in a big way in the meantime--not a winning recipe

 

and the sibling was picky/demanding/last minute (not all the time but) and would get workers in trouble if things weren't just so

I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.

 

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I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.

 

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post #25 of 44

I have no problem telling my family no. I give my friends 20% off (sometimes more) and my family 10%(sometimes none). My friends have done more to help me than all my family combined( with the exception of my sister who has supported me 100%)  Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean they are entitled to receive special services and privileges they didn't earn. If I was a roofer they wouldn't expect me to supply the materials and the labor why should it be any different because I'm  baker.

 

Quote:

Don't aspire to make a living, aspire to make a difference.

 

 

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Quote:

Don't aspire to make a living, aspire to make a difference.

 

 

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post #26 of 44

If I'm asked to bring a cake with no indication that I'll be paid for my time. I do what everyone else does...go to Costco. :)
Hey, they don't expect the lady that is a florist to show up with center pieces.

mommachris
 

wife to David for 25 years
mom to 13 blessings
Nine who are still living at home that range from 22 to 4 years old.
Holly, Amy, Aaron, Evelyn, Zebedee, Melody, William, Melissa and little Tobin
and four more sweet babies in heaven.

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wife to David for 25 years
mom to 13 blessings
Nine who are still living at home that range from 22 to 4 years old.
Holly, Amy, Aaron, Evelyn, Zebedee, Melody, William, Melissa and little Tobin
and four more sweet babies in heaven.

Reply
post #27 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by mkoteel View Post

I am curious to know how people in this business would say no to their relatives. I am not in this business but you know how relatives expect to get major concessions... if not free stuff. Just wondering!!!!

The same way you would say no to anybody else.... No

 

Why does anyone have to *find a way to say no*.icon_confused.gif

Arrange a consult if its too difficult to say what Jason said - i mean, lets face it - he was straight up - no beating around the bush and was honest....

Book a consult time  - listen to what they want - tell them the real cost - then the ball is in their court if they wish to continue with an order.

 

Its that simple.

 

But then, if your not in THIS business - what business are you in that you need to say no to a relative...

Perhaps you need to find a forum that relates to your business.....

 

Most Odd.

post #28 of 44
If I've learnt one thing since I started making cakes, its that those that want 'free' cake don't appreciate your work or the effort that goes into making a cake. This doesn't apply to me with family as I'm a still a student so live with my family. They eat all the cake I practice on ( and can actually get sick of cake lol) but it does with friends who just want a free cake or a cake for £20. I used to buckle over and do it for 'practice' but it just got ridiculous. After joining CC I learnt this. So if you don't want to make a cake for someone and they are not paying for it. Just say 'sorry, I'm busy' simples. If they really want one they'll pay you for your services. (sigh. Rant over)
post #29 of 44

I struggle with this all the time! I have a large family.  When we get together for Christmas, birthdays etc its always 20-25 people. (and growing since everyone seems to be acquiring kids and spouses and stuff)  at first when baking was a hobby I would offer to do cakes as it was an opportunity to practice.  As I got better their requests got more elaborate.  It used to be oh just surprise me now I get instructions.  Now that I run a business they don't think it should be any different. They will ask two days before  are you bringing a cake for "_____'s" birthday?  and when I say no they are all like... but you did a cake for _____.  some will give me $20 and say... this is for supplies.  bwahahaha... as if $20 covers the supplies for the two tier cake with fondant icing and figures and on and on and on.  so then I started saying sure it will be this much.  and I get oh I'll just get one at walmart, Costco local cupcake shop... WTH?!?!  how about support your freakin family you cheap freaks! Along the same lines I have a cousin who is an acupuncturist (self employed) and her husband owns a local restaurant.  They will all go to them and don't expect a freebie.  How is it different for me?!? There are those who I don't think twice about making a cake for.  these are the ones who don't ask for it (or if they do they say can I give you $100 and you surprise me with a cake.) and I know they appreciate it. 

 

I have gotten good at saying "im sorry I just don't have time" but I still always feel a little guilty.

 

Good times! ugh!

post #30 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by mkoteel View Post

Lol... Good to know. I was curious. But what if you are really busy and can't take it up. What do u do then?

If you are busy then you are busy. 

 

Your family would have to reserve their cake ahead of time just like the paying customers even if you do give it to them for free.

 

So you can see that there are two separate issues: discount, and timing. 

 

NOBODY can invent extra time...least of all family.  If they have not reserved a cake ahead of time then they cannot expect one even if they wanted to pay you double...right?

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