AOmg! Lmao!

I have just been silently following this thread, well, perhaps not silently as I sit here each day suppressing  my laughter... But I really have to chime in this morning with the addition of Dr. Spock to the party. I am truly rolling on the floor with this one. I don't think this can be topped. I know, tune in to see..........

Jan

Creative minds or lost minds? Too funny

Kara - you win teh internets  \o/   

You know you laughed, I heard you laugh
You laughed, you laughed and laughed and then you left
But now you know I am utterly MAD
And...They're coming to take me away HAHA
They're coming to take me away HOHO HEHE HAHA
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers
Who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're comin to take me away HAHAAA

and those nice young men in pretty white coats .  . . . careful or we may be seeing some of those around here.

I can't believe I said that!!!! I was a die-hard Star Trek fan. (I can't quite call myself a "Trekkie") Must have been a Freudian slip of some sort. I stand humbly corrected.

Jan

Dr. Spock (i.e., Benjamin Spock, MD), pediatrician and social activist:

Mr. Spock (i.e., from Star Trek), fictional character, created by Leonard Nimoy, and more recently played by Zachary Quinto:

Two very different individuals.

I had this real pain in the neck lady try to order a custom carved cake for a baby shower.  What recipe will you be using?  How do you carve the cake?  My daughter and I bake cakes so I could probably do this myself.  Why do you charge so much?  I gave her the pain in the neck fee which is quite a bit higher than my regular fee.  Then the best question, Can I borrow your cake pans?  Yeah lady, I never met you before and I am going to loan you my pans.  As is to do your fancy little cake I would have to go out and buy a special pan, included in the price.  Do you ask your local carpenter to borrow his tools??

AHow many times have you heard this - How much are they? I respond $xx.xx per dz. .... They say, " ok great... So How many come in a dz???" ..... X-(. Sadly this happens often. At least twice this week...

AHow many times have you heard this - How much are they? I respond $xx.xx per dz. .... They say, " ok great... So How many come in a dz???" ..... X-(. Sadly this happens often. At least twice this week...

Guy Himself: "Your category is green Chinese pottery."

Congolia Breckenridge: "My long suit."

GH: "And the question is: How many green Chinese pots in a dozen?"

CB: "Uh . . ."

BUZZZZZZZZZ!

    ----George Carlin, "Truth or Penalties"

Seriously, though, if you're a baker, shouldn't you be selling things by the baker's dozen?

So I keep laughing and my husband asks me what's so funny.  I tell him some of the things one here....especially the sweat "MOISTNESS" ... oh, I mean SWEET "MOISTNESS" of some of the topics.  LoL

His Response.... a quote from the Muppets. "You are all weirdos!" 

LoL

What not to say...

First: What is frustrating to me is when I come across people who are determined that fondant is nasty and won't even try mine.  So if I try one type of bread and think it's nasty, I should never try any other kinds?  Seriously people.  Even if it's the texture.  They are slightly different.

Second: This last spring, I offered a single tier 8" cake as a thank you to a neighbor who had been carpooling my daughter home every day.  She was in charge of the elementary school play and said that it would be great to have it themed to the play.

A few weeks later she told me she was going to show it at a get together before opening night.  I thought it was just going to be for the adults helping with it.  Then later, she told me that it was going to be in front of the entire cast.  Now I am very much into making kids happy, and I'd feel awful if these kids saw a cake they couldn't even have.

So without my neighbor asking, I offered to make a cake enough for all of them.  It was a long sad story making that cake.  And I totally ran out of time and didn't get to smooth the frosting.  But I did make a two layer cake that fed about 170 or more people.  And there were about 15 pieces left over.

Why do you ask?  I didn't want anyone to be left out, and I do enjoy making people happy.  But I must say, I thought it odd that she was going to take my 8" cake and show it to the cast.  That's like waving a piece of candy in front of a little 4 year old and saying, "ha ha, you can't have it!"

Yeah, I'm a push over.  This is why it's just a hobby.......

Wasn't there some thread about a lady who wanted a custom cake for display (and adults) and then planned to serve a store bought cake to the kids. Good grief! All that trouble. Just go either way, embrace Walmart ALL THE WAY!

So I wake up this morning, check my email and see that I have an inquiry from my website. Please note that I only do this as a hobby but do have a small website so I can show pictures of past projects etc. So anyway, as soon as I read the email I immediately thought of this thread and just HAD to post it!  Below is a copy and paste of my website form contact questions:

Name = Removed
Email Address = Removed
Phone Number (optional) =
Date Required = 23rd and 24th
How many servings = 15 and 25
Order Details = I know nothing about cakes! 

Geez, could you give me any LESS information!  It's quite evident by how little details you have provided that you 'KNOW NOTHING ABOUT CAKE!'. And does this person seriously want me to bake them a cake for Dec 23rd and 24th??  My website clearly states that I do this as a hobby ONLY and they assume that I am willing to take time away from my family to make them TWO cakes at Christmas time!?  JEESH!  

BUT, because I'm such a sucker, I responded anyway and told her that if she was referring to DECEMBER 23rd and 24th then I can make this type of cake or that type of cupcakes. Pretty much "these are your options, take it or leave it". Oh, and I inflated my regular price just 'cause it's Christmas AND last minute!

I was so tempted to make a comment about her knowing 'nothing about cakes' but I refrained!  LOL!

ALol sounds like my mother in law calling saying "hey it's such and such birthday tomorrow make a cake and drop it off ok" she works at a florial shop and literally gives me the day before way less than 24 hours notice to make a cake

Again I say.....

Best Thread Ever!

Its the most MOIST thread ever. ;) moistest? :P

Shanter, I swear to God I didn't notice the typo until you pointed it out, and I read it about a million times while I was putting that photo together. hahahaha! I seriously can't type, but I guess it was slightly appropriate here. Too funny.

Lady: I want a really nice cake for my daughter and her new husband.. they were married in Vegas by Elvis.. I was thinking a large 3 tier cake to feed about a hundred people.. With a stage and a little elvis.. maybe some music notes .. I want it REALLY nice..

  (She proceeds to email me pics of several different, very detailed cakes.. .and kept coming in the shop to show me different pics and ask 101million questions..)

Lady: ... and I only want to spend about $75.. What time can I pick it up Saturday?

Me: Jaw drops, smacks forehead*** dies a little inside...  **   I quote her a reasonable price..

Lady: You have got to be kidding.. for a CAKE!!!.. are you serious??? I can get a sheet cake from walmart for $30

Me:   :-) Ma'am .. walmart is right across the street .. Have a great day...

She comes back the next day and orders half sheet cake ...lol... I guess walmart didnt see eye to eye with her Elvis designs either.. lol

Start charging a tasting fee. I've gotten a lot of non-serious "brides" who want to do the free tasting. They've sat around and joked about this and that the whole time, gossiping and I could tell they just wanted free cake, also.
Once I started slapping on a $20 fee, applied to cost of the cake once booked with deposit, the inquiries for tastings got a lot more serious.
 

Well, that comment above was supposed to be a reply to someone's post about people coming in and insulting her cakes in her home during their free tasting... but I can't remember which page it was from!

Anyway, I had a bride call me over the phone for some quotes. I'm in a bridal association, so I was "forewarned" of her cheapness by another vendor. Needless to say, she had something like 300 guests and $100 budget and I told her even with a big old sheet cake that wasn't happening. So, she proceeded to ask me questions like "What if I buy all the supplies and you just make it?" "What if we did a dummy cake and sheet cake and cut the sheet cake smaller?" I quote her the dummy cake/sheet cake price (she wanted a really complex design) ...

and the one that grates me the worst to this day "Is it REALLY that hard to bake a cake.... I know that sounds rude but, like seriously?" and "What would I need to do in order to bake my own cake?"

I was seriously fuming by this point and said "Oh look at that, I actually do have a booking on that day, sorry. Looks like you'll have to figure that "baking your own cake" thing on your own." Not to mention that her and her fiance had only known each other for 3 months at that point... and she was a caucasian girl from a small town with the theme (and I'm not ****ting you one bit) "Ghetto Fabulous".

I seriously hope her whole wedding was just a stinking, hot mess. :P