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Bring back the 'Puppies and Rainbows' - Page 4

post #46 of 116
[My friend's daughter recently committed suicide. She was being bullied at school. She posted a video on You Tube, a cry for help I suppose, which made it worse. Some of the comments she received were horrible. Two weeks later she committed suicide. Our local schools are now trying to deal with this issue[/quote]


Sorry - I messed that quoting bit up.......but I was trying to get part of a reply to post.


Danielle - this just made me feel so sad, sad for your daughter, sad for the school and more than anything sad for the mother and family of this child. I could not imagine the pain of losing a child, I know it happens, but being a mother myself I think this is our worst fear in life.

I agree with some parts of what pumpkin tart has to say, especially the part about if you have a bad experience with some people you tend to hold what they say as negative. I will be the first to say 'guilty as charged'. I think reading back over my posts on this thread I may have over-acted 'a bit' where Jason is concerned, but we are so different we just 'clash'. I admit I am way too sarcastic at times, but if I did not think Jason could take it, I would not do it. He gives as good as he gets. And while I admit to being openly sarcastic, he does exactly the same in many of his 'helpful' replies, he just hides it better. The person still knows they are being attacked.

Someone on here has a tag on the bottom of their signature something about 'everything you say to someone effects them'. Sorry I can't remember who it is or what it says again but it is something along those lines. Think this sums it up personally.

I am such a beginner in all things to do with cake, if I could nope to be even a fraction of what some of the talented people are on here I would be a very happy little camper indeed icon_smile.gif. In saying that, I have improved heaps and has my knowledge the more I have to do with it. So now I probably would not come on and ask a question that is seen to be a silly question to ask. If I had come on here a year ago, I would probably have fallen into the category of 'people asking silly questions'. What seems silly to an experienced person, is not as silly or 'plain to see' to the beginner.

I don't think being anonymous has anything to do with it, we are all just as important as the next person, nobody should be made to feel like they are 'not worth it'.
post #47 of 116
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft

There's no reason non-newbies who are very sensitive couldn't use a "newbies" forum as well, but it usually has lower traffic so you may not get the same quality or quantity of responses.




That's a little insulting. So because I'm 'too sensitive', I shouldn't socialize with everyone else in my peer group. Perhaps some are [/u]unsensitive!
post #48 of 116
Thread Starter 
Thank you Kendall!

I think I started this post also to kind of 'test the waters' and see if I'd be comfortable posting again. Like Kendall, I probably won't be posting any more questions either.
post #49 of 116
Thread Starter 
Sorry, I meant to say insensitive.
post #50 of 116
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danielle_loves_cake

Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft

There's no reason non-newbies who are very sensitive couldn't use a "newbies" forum as well, but it usually has lower traffic so you may not get the same quality or quantity of responses.




That's a little insulting. So because I'm 'too sensitive', I shouldn't socialize with everyone else in my peer group. Perhaps some are insensitive!



Also, Jason, that's the best part of Cake Central. That the more experienced decorators can help the less experienced. I learned so much here when I was starting out and I'd like to help others with my knowledge. Besides there are always areas where someone can improve. For example, someone that's been decorating for 20 years but just in buttercream, may want to start working in fondant, yet they are not "newbies". If the newbie questions upset you, don't respond to them. Personally I think that's the whole point to this website!
post #51 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danielle_loves_cake

Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft

There's no reason non-newbies who are very sensitive couldn't use a "newbies" forum as well, but it usually has lower traffic so you may not get the same quality or quantity of responses.




That's a little insulting. So because I'm 'too sensitive', I shouldn't socialize with everyone else in my peer group. Perhaps some are [/u]unsensitive!


I'm not sure why you are insulted...I certainly don't consider being called sensitive to be an insult. One thing this thread has made clear is that some people are uncomfortable with perceived negative emotions in others' posts, and some people either don't see the negativity or don't care about it.

Another point is that some people (newbies and non-newbies) are afraid to post due to the aforementioned perceived negativity. A separate forum that is actively moderated and held to a higher standard of civility would provide a safe place for these people to ask questions without fear.

Newbies would be free to ask questions anywhere, but if they can't handle an environment that's (for lack of a better phrase) less than 100% polite then they would do best to stick to the newbie forum (or the "Puppies and Rainbows" forum if you'd prefer). IMO this solution is more realistic than the entire CC community committing to be more polite.
post #52 of 116
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jason_kraft


A separate forum that is actively moderated and held to a higher standard of civility would provide a safe place for these people to ask questions without fear.

Newbies would be free to ask questions anywhere, but if they can't handle an environment that's (for lack of a better phrase) less than 100% polite then they would do best to stick to the newbie forum (or the "Puppies and Rainbows" forum if you'd prefer). IMO this solution is more realistic than the entire CC community committing to be more polite.



I don't think we need to segregate the newbies from the rest of the CC population. As I said, someone may be an expert in one area (for example, decorating in buttercream) and an amateur in other (using fondant). What forum would they use then? You say your specialty is business. So if you wanted to decorate, what forum would you use then? There's always something new to learn in cake decorating!

The solution is simple: "The entire CC community committing to be more polite"! The moderators need to enforce this!

Okay, here's where your insult is (in your last post anyway): "if they can't handle..." Therefore, you are insulting sensitive people because we 'can't handle' it. Yes, it is just a little one, but when one's post is full of 'little' insults, it's not really pleasant for the person you are responding to. Then there's the downright blatantly rude people. Honestly, I'd just prefer someone being blantantly rude over the little insults here and there. By the way, I can "handle" your insults. I'm not that sensitive! It just isn't necessary!
post #53 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danielle_loves_cake

I don't think we need to segregate the newbies from the rest of the CC population. As I said, someone may be an expert in one area (for example, decorating in buttercream) and an amateur in other (using fondant). What forum would they use then? You say your specialty is business. So if you wanted to decorate, what forum would you use then? There's always something new to learn in cake decorating!


Perhaps I should clarify my suggestion. I'm not suggesting segregating newbies from the rest of the CC population, I used that description because that's how I've seen this type of sub-forum labeled on other sites. The point of the sub-forum would be to more strictly enforce a higher standard of civility for people who feel more comfortable in that kind of environment, whether they are newbies or not.

So if I'm an expert in business and have a newbie question about cake decorating, I would post in the main Cake Decorating forum because it won't bother me if someone makes a sarcastic or rude comment. If that did bother me, I would post in the Puppies & Rainbows forum instead.

Quote:
Quote:

The solution is simple: "The entire CC community committing to be more polite"! The moderators need to enforce this!


I doubt you will be happy with the results if moderators start editing anyone's posts that do not meet an arbitrary and subjective level of politeness. Actually enforcing the existing rules of the forum to remove personal attacks in a timely manner would be a step in the right direction though.

Quote:
Quote:

Therefore, you are insulting sensitive people because we 'can't handle' it.


I'm curious, how would you have phrased it? I was trying to explain who would use the new sub-forum in my suggestion, and that was what I came up with...if people are OK with reading or even skipping over the occasional negative comment they would use the existing forums, but if they don't want to risk seeing those negative comments at all they would use the proactively moderated sub-forum.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being sensitive, and I'm still surprised you feel insulted by this. Everyone is entitled to their opinion on what's rude and what's not, but if you tend to err on the side of inferring rudeness, don't expect the rest of the world to be extra careful with their words to avoid upsetting you.
post #54 of 116
Ahhh... arguing with Jason... an exercise in futility. icon_lol.gif *runs out of thread*
post #55 of 116
Arguing with Jason becomes tedious for some people because Jason always replies with a calm, collected, factual answer, which some people cannot argue with. So they stop, signing off with "oh I cant argue anymore, its too tedious".

Lol! Jason, I dont know why you're being so attacked, your posts have always been chock-full of decent advice when I've read them.

But I guess, the statement truly fits here.

Offence is never given, only taken.

PS: Danielle_loves_cake, you say you've been on here for years, but your reg date is Oct 11, 2012?
A down-to-earth South African who has a growing interest in fondant cakes...I've been bitten by the cake bug!
Reply
A down-to-earth South African who has a growing interest in fondant cakes...I've been bitten by the cake bug!
Reply
post #56 of 116
Jason is an example of someone who can seemingly read a thread and not imagine ten tons of emotion into it. Maybe it's the Y chromosome, take the info and move along. It's something that a lot of people on here could benefit from. I've seen threads where someone asked a question, someone else answered with a simple yes or no, and because the answer wasn't what th OP was looking for the person responding was called a bully, mean, dream crusher, whatever. It gets tedious for people who are trying to be helpful but don't give the answers that someone is looking to get.

This kind of let's all hold hands thread gets started occasionally, and it's pretty obvious that it's usually intended to scold one particular person, which is pretty ironic.
post #57 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

Jason is an example of someone who can seemingly read a thread and not imagine ten tons of emotion into it. Maybe it's the Y chromosome, take the info and move along. It's something that a lot of people on here could benefit from. I've seen threads where someone asked a question, someone else answered with a simple yes or no, and because the answer wasn't what th OP was looking for the person responding was called a bully, mean, dream crusher, whatever. It gets tedious for people who are trying to be helpful but don't give the answers that someone is looking to get.

This kind of let's all hold hands thread gets started occasionally, and it's pretty obvious that it's usually intended to scold one particular person, which is pretty ironic.



What she said.
post #58 of 116
If you are looking for puppies and rainbows in a cake forum, check out Wilton.com. Just looked around a bit over there and everyone is sweet as pie to everyone else. I'm not sure if anyone is getting useful responses that would help grow their businesses or improve their skills in any way, but they are all really nice to each other.
post #59 of 116
If folks want to surround themselves with yes-men and yea-sayers there is always the possibility to start their own message boards and only allow rainbows, unicorns, good fairies, and Care Bears to become members. Then they can moderate (censor) to their hearts' content! Everyone can sit in a circle, hold hands and sing Kumbayah
post #60 of 116
Thread Starter 
This is how my last post went (the one I wrote months ago):

I asked a question regarding how to improve something to do with my buttercream. I received a nasty response more or less tellling me that I'm not a real baker because I use American buttercream not Meringue buttercream. That started a little disagreement, no big deal. Then someone with a similar name commented to defend me. Then it all started, someone accused me of being her and then continued to say that my/her last recipe was a bunch of crap, that is was discusting and the I/she asks stupid questions. That was not me. I felt really badly for her though. This is the first time that I've created a bogus account. Now is that not rude? Do you not see the problem there? This stuff goes on all the time!

Jason, you should be in a debate class or on a debate forum. I think you would really enjoy it. Maybe you already are. I'm not sure if you'd win though as you don't really listen to what's being said. And speaking of bogus accounts, you're probably using one (or more) to back up your statements. I've been spending a lot of time on here lately with this forum post and it's not really been enjoyable for me so I would like to end it soon. I know you like to have the last word though, so lets finish this up soon okay. You got your point across, the world is full of nasty people and it won't change. Sorry to be so blunt, but I don't even understand why you're a member here if you don't even bake or decorate.
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