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Bring back the 'Puppies and Rainbows' - Page 3

post #31 of 116
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For example, I thought much of Kendall's last post was rude and unnecessary, so I'm simply not replying to it. (FWIW I usually sleep between 11:30pm-7:30am, and that post was written at 11pm.)




bahahahaha

............and yet that is a reply icon_lol.gif - if you are going to ignore me. Just ignore me. But you can't because you hate not having the last word and your 'style' is speaking to us like we are naughty little children - trying to 'put me in my place' at the same time. You are nothing if not predicable.

Lol I think if I were a 'fly on your wall' I would see steam coming out the top of your head now, but that is right, you are not following the post anymore are you???

Thanks for taking the time to reply thumbs_up.gif
post #32 of 116
What is it, about others, that provokes such animosity in humans?

Why all these grotesque overreactions to posts made by strangers, thousands of kilometers away?

If someone finds themself grossly provoked by a certain poster, over and over and over, maybe it's time to take a good hard look inside.

I'm all for puppies and kitties, but unless you're running a kennel or a cattery - they have really no place in business. Give me the cold, hard facts anyday - painful or not!
post #33 of 116
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Originally Posted by Godot

What is it, about others, that provokes such animosity in humans?

Why all these grotesque overreactions to posts made by strangers, thousands of kilometers away?


In my opinion anonymity has a lot to do with it...if you go by a "screen name" instead of a real name, you may feel more free to say things you would never say to people you know, simply because it can't be traced back to you. There are exceptions of course, but I've found personal attacks are often less of an issue on Facebook discussion groups because everyone goes by their real name.

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If someone finds themself grossly provoked by a certain poster, over and over and over, maybe it's time to take a good hard look inside.


But if they just ignored the posters they don't like, they wouldn't have anything to complain about. icon_wink.gif
post #34 of 116
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Godot

If someone finds themself grossly provoked by a certain poster, over and over and over, maybe it's time to take a good hard look inside.




Okay, I'll admit, this comment does upset me a bit. I told myself, I wouldn't get personal in this post, but perhaps this is why I started it. My friend's daughter recently committed suicide. She was being bullied at school. She posted a video on You Tube, a cry for help I suppose, which made it worse. Some of the comments she received were horrible. Two weeks later she committed suicide. Our local schools are now trying to deal with this issue.

I've never been bullied myself, although I have bullied others as a child (my gosh I feel so horrible about that now). I was telling my husband that the closest I've ever felt to being bullied was here on Cake Central. Not only did it happen in the forums, I was sent personal messages as well. Anyway, I'm sorry I started this forum post. I didn't mean to cause drama. I guess I was just trying to make a small difference.
post #35 of 116
Danielle, so sorry to hear about your friends daughter. My daughter had a very close friend commit suicide a year ago and I think I know exactly how you're feeling. It brings so many emotions so close to the surface. As far as this site, people can pretend they don't see it or say it's just telling it like it is, but it's there. Sometimes the poor op isn't even involved. There are people on here who don't really seem to like each other and seem to enjoy the animosity and will use someone else's question to go at each other. Most are helpful and nice others thirve on drama, kinda like high school.
post #36 of 116
I skipped over half the responses in this thread because they weren't happy enough...

My two cents is that if you don't like a response skip over it,don't take things personally (it's hard to read tone online) and don't assume that people are trying to make you feel stupid. And if you want to see some really obnoxious responses online go to yahoo news and read the comments on any thread. I will make this place look like the biggest lovefest in the world by comparison.

By the way, my name is Kara and I don't care if you call me that, I am not anonymous so nobody should use that as an explanation if you think my answer to something is obnoxious thumbs_up.gif
post #37 of 116
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Originally Posted by Danielle_loves_cake



I'm wondering if you're reading the same posts that we are or if you're perhaps 'playing dumb' to get me riled up. Perhaps you're hoping I'll mention specific incidents and then you can acuse me of 'attacking' people'. icon_confused.gif [/u]



I believe Jason was asking you (or anyone else for that matter) to post a specific example so that people could weigh in on whether they interpreted a comment as rude or not. Many times, after a person has a bad experience with another poster, they will frequently perceive any comments from that same poster as negative or rude or condescending, etc., because they're still holding onto the negative feelings from the previous incident. A perfectly benign statement can be read as rude or nasty when you're expecting "that person" to be rude or nasty. A completely objective outsider could try to point out, "Hey, I just read that same exact comment and it wasn't actually rude." That's the point Jason was trying to make about providing a specific example.

However, many times even if fifty people can say objectively that they don't see anything rude in the specific example given, you may still refuse to believe it wasn't rude because of your personal bias/past experience. There's nothing that can be done to change your mind but it doesn't make you right and the other person "rude" just because that's how you feel.

Jason seems to be very reasonable and always takes the time to respond very calmly even when people are attacking him or accusing him of things. I appreciate his style of trying to ignore the really blatant nastiness directed at him and simply respond to the facts.
post #38 of 116
I'm a newbie here too, and although I can see why the OP would say a particular poster, say, is condescending in her eyes, I don't see it as such. Maybe it's because I've been in the bakery business for over half my life. Maybe it's because I'm one of those "pull no punches" type of people where, if I ask for an opinion, I want the unvarnished truth. You don't like how I decorated my cake, say? Tell me why. Tell me what you would have done. Tell me what I should keep in mind the next time I attempt such. Tell me the pitfalls I should watch out for if I'm going to start my own business. Show me different ways to do X or Y that may turn out to be better than the way I've been doing it.

I can certainly understand how that sort of attitude can scare off some people.

Although I appreciate that kind of criticism, I'm also not one to give it unless it's asked for. I wouldn't be as brash to somebody just starting out because it's a great way to kill their burgeoning passion.

I think, also, that experience has a lot to do with it. Those of us who have been in the business for awhile and/or have their own businesses have had the blinders swiped from our eyes. Some may be subconsciously transmitting that through their posts in the "it's not all rainbows and butterflies" kind of way. We still love what we do, though, or else none of us would still be here.
post #39 of 116
Thread Starter 
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Originally Posted by paulstonia

Danielle, so sorry to hear about your friends daughter. My daughter had a very close friend commit suicide a year ago and I think I know exactly how you're feeling. It brings so many emotions so close to the surface. As far as this site, people can pretend they don't see it or say it's just telling it like it is, but it's there. Sometimes the poor op isn't even involved. There are people on here who don't really seem to like each other and seem to enjoy the animosity and will use someone else's question to go at each other. Most are helpful and nice others thirve on drama, kinda like high school.



Thanks so much!
post #40 of 116
The physical and emotional damage caused by bullying in schools is definitely a tragedy, but I think it is a disservice to compare it to strangers being "rude", "condescending", or "bragging" on a moderated public forum with an adult community where anonymity is an option.

If someone sends you an inappropriate private message, it is easy to report them to the moderators and put them on ignore so you will never receive any further private communication from them. It's not as if you are forced to spend 35 hours every week with the CC community.
post #41 of 116
Thread Starter 
I'm seeing these little 'digs' and nastiness all over the place here on Cake Central. And some of you are finding it quite funny. It actually makes me sad. Trust me I'm tempted to quote these people, but then we'll just be bombarded with more nastiness and defensiveness.

Something good has come out of this for me though. I've realized that, as parents and teachers, we should focus our efforts on teaching our children and young adults how to 'deal' with bullying. Rather than going after the bullies, we need to teach our children that the world is full of them and how best to handle it.

Thank you all for your responses.
post #42 of 116
I have to admit that as a newbie on cc I have often not asked questions because I was afraid that I would get a snide comment after reading a lot of posts that were rude. Some people just want a question answered even tho some more experienced people would think stupid. Just saying......
post #43 of 116
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Originally Posted by jason_kraft

The physical and emotional damage caused by bullying in schools is definitely a tragedy, but I think it is a disservice to compare it to strangers being "rude", "condescending", or "bragging" on a moderated public forum with an adult community where anonymity is an option. .


I really don't think she was saying they are in any way on the same level. But going through the experience of losing someone to suicide will make you more sensitive to other peoples pain. It brings out some very raw emotions. I can see how seeing people being hurtful for no good reason even if it is just on a forum would bother you. I see people tell it like it is on here and that's fine. Then there are others, and sometimes I think they may be trying to be funny, but that doesn't come across in type, you can't see it's said with a smile. Yes we shouldn't take it personal, but sometimes you do, we're all human.
post #44 of 116
Thread Starter 
Thank you Waggs for speaking up. I think there may be a lot on here that want to use the forums but don't - and not all of them are newbies. For example, this is the first time I've used the forums in over six months and I've been on here for years. I'm not a newbie. I've been decorating for over 15 years and recently had my work published in a book. (I'm not mentioning the book to brag. I mention it to prove that I'm an experienced decorator.) NO question is stupid! Everyone starts somewhere.

To paulstonia, thank you so much. You are right, that is exactly how I'm feeling, angry, frustrated, sad. And no I'm not saying they are on the same level, I just think people need to just be a little more sensitive to others' feelings.
post #45 of 116
One solution I've seen in other communities is a separate "newbies" forum that is more tightly moderated and has a zero tolerance policy for discourteous behavior. There's no reason non-newbies who are very sensitive couldn't use a "newbies" forum as well, but it usually has lower traffic so you may not get the same quality or quantity of responses.

Unfortunately this solution requires proactive moderators who are engaged with the community, so I'm not sure it will happen here. Can't hurt to suggest it though (you can use the link below to send the staff a message directly).

http://cakecentral.com/contact
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