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Bring back the 'Puppies and Rainbows'

post #1 of 116
Thread Starter 
Some have said that this isn't a place for 'puppies and rainbows'. Well, why can't it be?

I used to come on Cake Central to relax, enjoy chating about cake decorating and looking at awesome pictures. This is the first time I've been on here on six months and yes, I've changed my profile name. It saves some looking at my old forum posts and telling me 'oh it wasn't that bad' or 'you're too sensitive' or blaming me for being someone else. My posts have never been in the business forum and I was made to feel horrible about something. I won't say what as it may start all over again. (All I can say is that I've never been rude or insensitive to anyone).

Some are using the excuse that all internet forums are like that and people just need to have tougher skin, well let's make Cake Central different. I miss it very much and I'd love to be able to comfortably post again. Some say they enjoy the drama here. It is enjoyable until you decide to make a post, then not so much!

Honestly though, if anyone needed a serious answer to a business question, they would just ask their lawyer or accountant. I don't it's necessary to type paragraphs and paragraphs of information for people (and hiden within those paragraphs, some condescending tone and rudeness). Some spend so much time and energy here answering forum posts all day, maybe that time and energy should be put into your business instead. Just shorten your responses, keep them light and factual, and perhaps point people in the right direction instead.

Thank you for listening to me. I'm hoping things will change around here. I know I'm not the only one that feels this way too. icon_smile.gif
post #2 of 116
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post #3 of 116
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post #4 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danielle_loves_cake

Some spend so much time and energy here answering forum posts all day, maybe that time and energy should be put into your business instead. Just shorten your responses, keep them light and factual, and perhaps point people in the right direction instead.


People who spend time and energy answering forum posts do so because they enjoy helping others. Artificially shortening responses (which would usually involve leaving out important information) doesn't seem like it would help anyone.

If someone is being rude you can just report them, ignore the post, and move on.

You are certainly free to continue your quest for more puppies and rainbows here, but I don't think telling people to stop trying to be thorough when answering questions is the right way to do that, there's no reason they can't coexist. If you see a long informative post you don't want to read, don't read it.
post #5 of 116
Thread Starter 
FromScratch: LOVE it! Thanks for that, lol! icon_lol.gif

Jason,
I just want people to respectfully answer the questions being asked. Some people, including yourself, offer excellent, helpful advice. Some others do not. But sometimes I do see you defending people that are condescending and rude. I wish you'd stop doing that. Sometimes it feels like being ganged up on.
post #6 of 116
Thank you, FromScratchSF, for the beautiful pic. And yes, you are one that always answers very nice. I always look forward to you helping on this forum.
post #7 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danielle_loves_cake

But sometimes I do see you defending people that are condescending and rude.


Unfortunately condescension and rudeness are in the eye of the beholder and can be read in to a post that may not have had that intent due to the impersonal nature of this medium.

When I defend people, it's because others have posted personal attacks against them instead of addressing the topic being discussed. If people stop posting personal attacks, there would be no need to defend anyone.
post #8 of 116
I love puppies, rainbows AND unicorns...but I they're not always the answer I'm looking for if I wish to learn.

I'd rather have someone be honest about something than be told a lie for the sake of harmony. Who benefits when that happens? Sure there are ways to tell someone something without dashing their dreams, but seriously...there have been people on here who have wanted opinions on their cakes (that someone else is paying for) and I've seen 'rainbow' answers when they didn't deserve it. Now...would I say 'hey your cake looks like my aunt sat on it' ? No. But I wouldn't lie and say what a great job they did. If they're wanting an opinion I'd give it honestly but with some constructive ideas to improve. Something like 'you've obviously worked hard on this but I see some areas of improvement such as....yada yada yada.' Believe it or not there are those that would take that as an 'attack'.

I see posted cake photos that scream for constructive criticism...like mentioning that a ribbon around the base of the cake board would have finished off the look...or that they need to work on smoothing their buttercream--here's a youtube link to a really good tutorial But if someone is not asking for an opinion then I feel compelled to keep my mouth shut and comment on the positive aspects of the cake only. Then I wonder if that is fair to the person who posted it..maybe they would appreciate some real feedback. I know I do.

Honesty ain't always pretty...but it's important if you really want to improve your skills. I think the problem here is that when someone is--shall we say--'blunt' with their answer, then someone else feels the need to respond to that poster instead of letting it go and answering the OP instead. Keeping comments focused on the original question would help stop a lot of the puppy stomping. IMO!
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If I am ever on life support, unplug me...

Then plug me back in.  See if that works!

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post #9 of 116
Thread Starter 
I'm not really talking about constructive criticism, although I don't think it should be given unless asked for. I'm talking about someone saying inappropriate things often... it's not just regarding business either. Recently someone told another that the product they are using is more-or-less crap, and went on and on about it, which then caused an argument. The same person believes that American Buttercream is horrible and that baking from scratch is superior. That's totally fine to have these opinions, but don't put them all over the place when it's not asked for.

Also, don't get me wrong, there are some amazingly helpful experienced people on here and I love reading long responses from them as you can learn so much. Those people are what makes this website so wonderful. It's just a handful that are causing problems, and unfortunately this handful seems to be on here a lot!

By the way I have a sweet little brand new kitten sleeping on my chest right now. He's only eight weeks old. So let's call it 'kittens and rainbows' from now on, lol. icon_smile.gif
Can I get a picture of a kitten now maybe, lol?
post #10 of 116
Thread Starter 
And Carmijok, I'm so sorry to hear about your kitty. I read it in a recent post. Was it the one in your picture with the melon on his head? That picture is so cute!
post #11 of 116
Agree with you totally Danielle.....although it does not necessarily mean it has to be puppies and rainbows......

No one is saying you have to pat people on the head and say 'oh wow that cake is the best I have ever seen'.....there is a way to say things nicely and without being rude... Do you tell your friend who asks for the opinion 'does my bum look big in this' (as she excitedly tries on her new dress) "holy cow woman, you need to get that big arse of yours to the gym ASAP...and take the rest of that body with you"..... I doubt it....it would more likely be "I love the colour but I really think a different style would suit you better".... No lying (or sugar coating for that matter)....but no rudeness either.

No one starts off an expert but you will get better with practise and knowledge. I for one have learnt heaps off this site in such a short time....there are some really nice people on here that will go out of their way to help a 'newbie'. That being said there are people on here who are just rude and use a lot of the threads to constantly tell us how important and successful their businesses are (not sure how considering the amount of time they are on here) - who cares....the thread was nothing to do with that....but it always seems to come back to that.....

I also vote for more 'puppies and rainbows' - don't mind a bit of 'Rain' with that rainbow but 'cyclones and storms' are not really called for...... Thats my two cents for what it s worth icon_smile.gif
post #12 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danielle_loves_cake

I'm not really talking about constructive criticism, although I don't think it should be given unless asked for. I'm talking about someone saying inappropriate things often... it's not just regarding business either. Recently someone told another that the product they are using is more-or-less crap, and went on and on about it, which then caused an argument. The same person believes that American Buttercream is horrible and that baking from scratch is superior. That's totally fine to have these opinions, but don't put them all over the place when it's not asked for.


It takes two people to start an argument. If someone posts something you don't agree with (note: this is not the same thing as posting something "inappropriate") you can either post why you disagree with it (in which case you may end up having to defend your position), or ignore it. Same story if you don't want to hear about others talking about their businesses, you are free to skip over those posts.

It seems a little restrictive to ask people not to post their opinions on a public forum except in response to direct questions just because you don't want to read them. Some of the most interesting and informative threads I've seen on CC resulted from back-and-forth discussions that focused on a topic tangentially related to the original thread.
post #13 of 116
Thread Starter 
I don't mind at all when a thread goes off topic. It can actually be kind of fun! I just don't like it when someone takes it off topic just to be rude and condescending (or as Kendall said, to tell us how important and successful their businesses are). I also don't mind people disagreeing with one another as long as it done respectfully. For example Jason, you and I had a disagreement once but we did it with respect. And because of that #1 I don't even remember what it is about and #2 I still respect you and value your opinion.
post #14 of 116
I'm not sure I understand...it sounds like you want people to stop being "rude and condescending", but as I mentioned above rudeness and condescension can be read into posts that were written without that intent, so I don't see how people can avoid the possibility of someone subjectively reading it into their posts unless they walk on eggshells.

Are we also supposed to avoid talking about our businesses because others might be envious (or whatever reason it is upsetting)? Or is it only OK to talk about businesses that have failed? Or can people bring up their businesses only in certain situations, and if so who judges which situations are appropriate?

As for people posting off-topic just to be "rude and condescending", that rarely happens in my experience, since if someone posts something OT they usually have a point to make. In fact I've found that the worst posts are usually people responding with insults and personal attacks.to negativity they've read into someone else's post.

It sounds like you are asking for a lot of accommodation from this community, and frankly I think you are going to be disappointed. If the relatively tame discourse here is upsetting to you and you can't ignore the small minority of offending posts, you may be better off participating in smaller communities on Facebook, creating your own forum or blog so you can control and moderate the content, and/or sticking to browsing pictures here.
post #15 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danielle_loves_cake

And Carmijok, I'm so sorry to hear about your kitty. I read it in a recent post. Was it the one in your picture with the melon on his head? That picture is so cute!

'

Thanks. No... that's an internet picture. My cat was black with gold eyes. She would have never allowed a lime on her head! icon_lol.gif

If I am ever on life support, unplug me...

Then plug me back in.  See if that works!

Reply

If I am ever on life support, unplug me...

Then plug me back in.  See if that works!

Reply
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