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Cake for a friend

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
My husband asked me to make his friend's daughter wedding cake. I know that his friend is not good with money and he tries to get everything for free. So I said yes to the condition that my deposit and full payment policies would not change (or we would never get paid). He would have to pay his deposit to save the date and pay the balance two weeks prior. It is a $1000 cake.

We still haven't received his deposit yet and the wedding is in July. He keeps telling us that he will get the money. However, we've started getting requests for wedding cakes for the summer and I'm expecting that soon, someone will ask for the same date as his.

Today, he told my husband that because they are friends, we shouldn't give the date away to another bride. He takes for granted that his date is booked even if we made it very clear to him, that it is not without a deposit.

From all the posts that I have read here on CC, I can see where this is going. What should I do? I do not want to bend the rules for him but I do not want to create a conflict. I suggested we change the design to make it more affordable but he got offended.
post #2 of 29
You know the answer to your own question. You are going to end up kicking yourself if you wait on him. Let him know business is business and you can't afford to loose money because of him. Plain and simple. OR you can call him and say you have someone interested in that same date and tell him you have to receive the deposit by xx or you will give the date to the other person. icon_cool.gif
post #3 of 29
sorry..lose money
post #4 of 29
I agree with pummy, and was going to say the same thing.
post #5 of 29
If you had been thinking fast enough you should have said you were unavaiable in the beginning.
If he doesnt cough up the money soon NO CAKE .You said you asked him about a simpler design and HE was insulted.
Where do people get this sense of entiltement from ?
post #6 of 29
The dude's a flake. He's causing the cake conflict, not you. Biz is biz. If someone else asks for the date, give it to them.
post #7 of 29
I agree with Pummy. You hate to ruin a friendship but put the ball in his court. Let him know that by a certain date, if payment is not made, you will have to give away the date. If he doesn't understand that is his problem, not yours. HE will be the one that disappoints the bride, not you.
post #8 of 29
If someone with a deposit wants the date I'd give it to them. If this guy hasn't come up with at least a good faith deposit of any amount soon I'd write him off.
post #9 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by MKC

My husband asked me to make his friend's daughter wedding cake. I know that his friend is not good with money and he tries to get everything for free. So I said yes to the condition that my deposit and full payment policies would not change (or we would never get paid). He would have to pay his deposit to save the date and pay the balance two weeks prior. It is a $1000 cake.

We still haven't received his deposit yet and the wedding is in July. He keeps telling us that he will get the money. However, we've started getting requests for wedding cakes for the summer and I'm expecting that soon, someone will ask for the same date as his.

Today, he told my husband that because they are friends, we shouldn't give the date away to another bride. He takes for granted that his date is booked even if we made it very clear to him, that it is not without a deposit.

From all the posts that I have read here on CC, I can see where this is going. What should I do? I do not want to bend the rules for him but I do not want to create a conflict. I suggested we change the design to make it more affordable but he got offended.



He KNOWS you will not hold a date unless you have the money. As you said above, "we made it very clear to him, that it is not [held] without a deposit." He either doesn't have the deposit money, or doesn't WANT to pay the deposit money. The second you told your husband that his deadbeat, mooch friend must adhere to your contractual money stipulations, the "friendship" was in jeopardy. You KNEW and your husband KNEW he would try to mooch.

I would write him a professional letter tomorrow and let him know that the dates are filling fast, and you must have the "$500(?)" deposit by "xxx" date or you will have to cancel the cake order. In the letter re-state ALL of your contract stipulations that you use for every other customer. (Make sure he knows that he will NOT get a cake if the $$$ are not paid by two weeks prior.)

Don't explain, don't call him to follow up, don't make excuses like "this is my business". Make sure the letter has PROOF of delivery (I'd suggest your husband deliver it in person!) so he can't say, "Well! I NEVER got any letter!" and try to make it your fault. If you don't get the deposit in full by "xxx" date, cancel the cake.

Good luck. I look forward to seeing how this turns out. (I'm thinking that he's hoping that his friend (your husband) will talk you into making the cake for free as a "wedding gift".)
post #10 of 29
I'm just curious why the bride doesn't seem to be involved in this or is she? Most brides want a say about their wedding cake and she may put the pressure on her father to make sure you have her wedding date booked. Maybe contact her directly as a last attempt to save a friendship.
post #11 of 29
I would do what Pummy said and tell him you have a bride wanting to put the deposit down for his date and is willing to pay you by X date. He's gonna have to poop, or get off the pot!

"Making your special day, a whole lot sweeter!"

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"Making your special day, a whole lot sweeter!"

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post #12 of 29
Red flags. Don't ignore them. This situation is going to get worse. If your gut is already telling you this order is going to be a problem then LISTEN TO IT. I agree with Pummy's advice and have done the same thing before "someone else wants the date I need your deposit by tomorrow or they are booking it" No further explanation or apology needed. AND like I always tell people "being a friend or a relative or me liking you "a lot" in NO WAY reduces my COST, TIME or LABOR and it's an insult for anyone who is my "friend" or who likes me "a lot" to suggest or assume that I should provide any of those things for free. I've learned a lot, thank goodness, and am happy to turn away an order that insults me or doesn't feel right at the start. Follow your gut!
Cake disasters are like childbirth...you swear you'll NEVER make another cake but soon the pain is forgotten and you are elbow deep in BC again.
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Cake disasters are like childbirth...you swear you'll NEVER make another cake but soon the pain is forgotten and you are elbow deep in BC again.
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post #13 of 29
I'm betting Daddy dearest told his daughter he would take care of the cake because "so and so's wife will make it and since we are friends he'll hook me up".


RUNNNNNNNN! Your gut is telling you to not do it. These people are cheap and will try to haggle you down to your wisdom teeth if you let them. Biz is biz. If he takes it personal than he needs to reevaluate the way he handles himself around other people.
"Once a Marine Always a Marine" Semper Fi!!!
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"Once a Marine Always a Marine" Semper Fi!!!
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post #14 of 29
I think in a situation like this, you need to just take a step back and treat it as any other business transaction. Do not feel bad if another couple books the date. Do not feel responsible if you must cancel due to your policies. It's okay. You've been up front and honest from the start. It is not your fault and you need to realize that. This is your job, so let it be that, your job, and let the personal feelings go.

Now repeat all that to yourself 10x while saying "Omm" and holding a meditative pose.

Okay, now that you've gotten the worry, stress and guilt out of you, the ball is in the father of the bride's court. Send him a well written email notice reminding him the need for a deposit and that is all you need to do. If someone else books the date, you can possibly find a good alternative baker to point him towards so his arms won't be flailing in the dark, but that's still his own fault, not yours. icon_wink.gif
post #15 of 29
If this person was a "true" friend, he wouldn't be trying to be scam you, to which it seems he is trying to do. He is absolutely trying to take advantage of you because you are friends. You've been honest, and disclosed the terms of you doing the cake, and if he cannot abide, and you get other offers from folks for the same date, go with the people you know will pay you for your work.
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