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making own cake for birthday , taboo?

post #1 of 39
Thread Starter 
So, my husband and i are turning 30 in a couple of weeks...we are only a week apart. We're having a kind of thrown together party with a bunch of people going out for dinner and then some bowling...nothing huge. But, WE ARE the cake decorators of the bunch icon_lol.gif I wanna have cake, so does my husband. is it wrong to ask people if they are making us something? should we make it ourselves? I really just wanna have good cake, but my husband keeps bringing up the fact that people should be doing stuff for us. well, i know that by now if you want something nice done for yourself you gotta do it yourself icon_redface.gif can't help but feel like it would be weird if we made our own cakes.

what do you guys think?
It's not "just" cake...it's my life!
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It's not "just" cake...it's my life!
WI State Representative for Icing Smiles...start 'Baking a Difference" today!
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post #2 of 39
My birthday is in a few weeks and I'm probably going to make my own cake. I don't do have time to make cakes very often right now since I'm in nursing school so it'll give me an excuse to try a new design/technique/flavor/etc. Plus, I know I like how my cakes taste and that way I know I won't end up with a grocery store cake or some other dessert. Well-meaning and loving family members have made me cheesecake and other desserts in the past thinking I'd want something different since I'm the cake maker in the family, which I like cheesecake too (heck I really like any desserts lol) but sometimes you just want a regular ole birthday cake (that tastes awesome of course). If you'd rather make the cake yourself but you're afraid others might plan something else for the party I'd just make sure to mention how excited you are to make the cake for the party. That way you aren't putting anyone on the spot asking if they're getting you anything but you can let them know you're planning to make a cake so you don't end up with an abundance of cakes/desserts that other people bring. Oh, and I'd mention it sooner rather than later before anyone orders anything. Btw, happy early birthday!
post #3 of 39
When I had my very first birthday party last year for my 22nd birthday I made it Iron Man themed. I told my friends to bring liquor and made them all a red velvet with pecan icecream cake decorated to look like Iron Man's chestplate. It was for me and for them. No one got weird about it, we ate the heck out of it, and all was well. So if you want something specific for yourself, just go for it. No one will be insulted -- they get some too.
post #4 of 39
When looking through the galleries, I have noticed that some of the most fabulous cakes are made for the decorators own birthday. It is done all the time. In my case, I find it slightly depressing... But I generally get crappy cakes, so I have had a friend make mine, and traded birthday cakes with a cc member whose birthday is the same month as mine, who lives within an hour away.
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post #5 of 39
It kind of depends on what you want. I actually LOVE doing my own birthday cake. It gives me allowances to doing something more than I'd usually do and spend more than I usually would. =) (My avatar photo was my 30th birthday cake this year.) (Oh...=) and my husband doesn't mind my getting the kitchen so messy.....since it's my birthday. =) hehehe)

But if you guys don't want to do it, totally ask someone to do something for you. (If you have that kind of relationship.)

I know a few years back, before really getting into decorating, I made my own birthday cake (I wanted to...) and a couple of people who came with my sister in-law thought it was totally wrong that I made it and thought that my husband should have done it for me. Uh......no!

But I guess to each their own.
post #6 of 39
I had my 21st birthday in december, it was nothing huge my family and my boyfriends family went to a "bar" (this is in a town of less than 100 people, and they serve great food as well as have play areas for kids). I made my own cake (the teal, silver and yellow one in my gallery) for several reasons. 1. I could design whatever I wanted 2. if I messed up nobody would need a refund.....and 3. Im a really picky eater (I dont like choclate cake, or friut for example) so it was easier to make my own than give people a list of types of cakes and fillings I wont eat. This also served as another cake to put in the portfolio...which is never bad! icon_smile.gif
post #7 of 39
Just have to say, this thread puzzled me a little. Are you saying that in the US it's customary for the guests to bring the birthday cake? In my neck of the woods (Norway) that would be totally unheard of - the host(ess) always provides the cake(s) - if you're invited somewhere, you expect to be fed - I've never been to a party where the guests bring cake. icon_lol.gif Same thing in the work place...if it's your birthday, YOU bring cake. I find it very interesting to see how differently things are done around the world! icon_biggrin.gif
Let them eat cake. I'd rather be decorating them anyway.
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Let them eat cake. I'd rather be decorating them anyway.
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post #8 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by elisaber

Just have to say, this thread puzzled me a little. Are you saying that in the US it's customary for the guests to bring the birthday cake? In my neck of the woods (Norway) that would be totally unheard of - the host(ess) always provides the cake(s) - if you're invited somewhere, you expect to be fed - I've never been to a party where the guests bring cake. icon_lol.gif Same thing in the work place...if it's your birthday, YOU bring cake. I find it very interesting to see how differently things are done around the world! icon_biggrin.gif


Funny! I would say that it isn't the guests' responsibility, more the hosts or hostesses. Normally! Basically, you are the guest of honor at your party, not generally the host. I have had a girl order and pay for her own cake, but I consider it a shame when someone orders their own cake. But she made me think she was pretty liberated, she wanted a specific cake, so she bought it! (spent $253, too)

A few years ago, a Pakistani woman from our church ordered her own baby shower cupcakes and I just gave them to her, since it seems a shame to buy your own for your party. I told her they had been paid foricon_wink.gif

Throwing a party for yourself seems like you are asking people for gifts. It isn't custom, same as bridal and baby showers.
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post #9 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annabakescakes

Quote:
Originally Posted by elisaber

Just have to say, this thread puzzled me a little. Are you saying that in the US it's customary for the guests to bring the birthday cake? In my neck of the woods (Norway) that would be totally unheard of - the host(ess) always provides the cake(s) - if you're invited somewhere, you expect to be fed - I've never been to a party where the guests bring cake. icon_lol.gif Same thing in the work place...if it's your birthday, YOU bring cake. I find it very interesting to see how differently things are done around the world! icon_biggrin.gif


Funny! I would say that it isn't the guests' responsibility, more the hosts or hostesses. Normally! Basically, you are the guest of honor at your party, not generally the host. I have had a girl order and pay for her own cake, but I consider it a shame when someone orders their own cake. But she made me think she was pretty liberated, she wanted a specific cake, so she bought it! (spent $253, too)

A few years ago, a Pakistani woman from our church ordered her own baby shower cupcakes and I just gave them to her, since it seems a shame to buy your own for your party. I told her they had been paid foricon_wink.gif

Throwing a party for yourself seems like you are asking people for gifts. It isn't custom, same as bridal and baby showers.



I'm sorry to hijack the thread a bit (I'll stop after this icon_redface.gif ) - but this is even more interesting. So in your country it's actually friends/family who throw the birthday parties...for the one who's birthday it is? Same for anniversary parties? And baby/wedding showers? How about kids' birthday parties - do the guests bring the cake then too? And do the parents really come along for the party? Here kids birthday parties are for kids only. Again - our customs are so different icon_smile.gif Here, the birthday girl/boy is the one who throws the party, invites the guests and provides the food and drink. We don't do baby/wedding showers here, and the only exception I know to the way I just described, are batchelor parties, which are thrown by the best man/maid of honor. Wow, I just find the cultural differences so fascinating! icon_biggrin.gif
Let them eat cake. I'd rather be decorating them anyway.
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Let them eat cake. I'd rather be decorating them anyway.
Reply
post #10 of 39
[quote="elisaber"]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annabakescakes

Quote:
Originally Posted by elisaber

Just have to say, this thread puzzled me a little. Are you saying that in the US it's customary for the guests to bring the birthday cake? In my neck of the woods (Norway) that would be totally unheard of - the host(ess) always provides the cake(s) - if you're invited somewhere, you expect to be fed - I've never been to a party where the guests bring cake. icon_lol.gif Same thing in the work place...if it's your birthday, YOU bring cake. I find it very interesting to see how differently things are done around the world! icon_biggrin.gif


Funny! I would say that it isn't the guests' responsibility, more the hosts or hostesses. Normally! Basically, you are the guest of honor at your party, not generally the host. I have had a girl order and pay for her own cake, but I consider it a shame when someone orders their own cake. But she made me think she was pretty liberated, she wanted a specific cake, so she bought it! (spent $253, too)

A few years ago, a Pakistani woman from our church ordered her own baby shower cupcakes and I just gave them to her, since it seems a shame to buy your own for your party. I told her they had been paid foricon_wink.gif

Throwing a party for yourself seems like you are asking people for gifts. It isn't custom, same as bridal and baby showers.



I'm sorry to hijack the thread a bit (I'll stop after this icon_redface.gif ) - but this is even more interesting. So in your country it's actually friends/family who throw the birthday parties...for the one who's birthday it is? Same for anniversary parties? And baby/wedding showers? How about kids' birthday parties - do the guests bring the cake then too? And do the parents really come along for the party? Here kids birthday parties are for kids only. Again - our customs are so different icon_smile.gif Here, the birthday girl/boy is the one who throws the party, invites the guests and provides the food and drink. We don't do baby/wedding showers here, and the only exception I know to the way I just described, are batchelor parties, which are thrown by the best


Generally speaking, yes. Though there are always exceptions, and it may be different other places. I am in Kentucky. At kids birthday parties, either the parents or grandparents, sometimes an aunt or uncle. I have had older cousins order the cake, too.
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post #11 of 39
Most adults I know throw their own party. If someone is offered a cake, great, if not, no big deal. I don't think it is a tragedy to make or buy your own cake, I do think it is a tragedy if you EXPECT someone else to do it for you. But to each his' own. There is no right or wrong to this. As a baker, I'll make my own cake, cause if someone gets me a cake, it's going to either be from a) the grocery store or b) from someone who bakes from a box, which is not my preference, so I'll make it myself, so I can also be able to eat it.
post #12 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by QTCakes1

Most adults I know throw their own party. If someone is offered a cake, great, if not, no big deal. I don't think it is a tragedy to make or buy your own cake, I do think it is a tragedy if you EXPECT someone else to do it for you. But to each his' own. There is no right or wrong to this. As a baker, I'll make my own cake, cause if someone gets me a cake, it's going to either be from a) the grocery store or b) from someone who bakes from a box, which is not my preference, so I'll make it myself, so I can also be able to eat it.



Honestly, I think celebrating adult birthdays is weird. It really is no big deal, so if someone does something, it is really sweet, and unexpected. It is just something that rolls around every year, to be dreaded, unless you die, lol. Like a pap smear.
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post #13 of 39
Mine is the 26th of next month and I will probably make my own cake. I usually love Costco cakes but seeing how I'm like 1000 lbs I don't need extra cake lying around for me to eat (Costco cakes are HUGE). Plus, I found a new recipe I wanted to try. I don't get all fancy with mine. Just IMBC homestyle iced with some rainbow sprinkles (don't judge) and I'm good. I will also be turning 30.
post #14 of 39
And FYI, I also made my own bridal shower AND wedding cake. So I'm used to that sort of thing. LOL
post #15 of 39
I made my own wedding cake, and if I do my own birthday cake I leave it in the pan and just ice the top! thumbs_up.gif Lol i will sometimes make brownies or double chocolate chip cookies.

I just turned 32, so I am really not interested... My birthday was last month and I went 3 states away to grandma's house for Christmas anyway. She made me fried pork chops and angel food cake with boiled icing. My 3 older kids iced it. That is an awesome birthday to me! I even got a sweat jacket. I never got gifts growing up. My husband likes to ask me what I want, but I like practical gifts, like a 4 slice toaster one year, and a $20 set of measurimg cups and spoons another year.
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