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A very good point on gifting.. - Page 2

post #16 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kel58


When my nephew turned 2 my brother-in-law asked me if I could make him a 3D thomas the train cake for his party. I told him that I sure could and if he wanted I could make it his gift and save him the expense. He looked totally put off. When I questioned him later about the cake he told me they just ordered one from the grocery store cause it would be cheaper. Riiighht cheaper than a free cake that is 1000 times better than the cake he had?? Thomas wasn't even recognizable. I later found out that he had assumed I would make this cake to feed 40 people for FREE and get his kid a present. Money don't grow on trees around here. I haven't offered or been asked to make him a cake ever again and I am very much ok with that.



icon_eek.gif Wow. Don't know what to say about your BIL. I guess I talk to my friend about it then?
post #17 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by QTCakes1

Quote:
Originally Posted by kel58


When my nephew turned 2 my brother-in-law asked me if I could make him a 3D thomas the train cake for his party. I told him that I sure could and if he wanted I could make it his gift and save him the expense. He looked totally put off. When I questioned him later about the cake he told me they just ordered one from the grocery store cause it would be cheaper. Riiighht cheaper than a free cake that is 1000 times better than the cake he had?? Thomas wasn't even recognizable. I later found out that he had assumed I would make this cake to feed 40 people for FREE and get his kid a present. Money don't grow on trees around here. I haven't offered or been asked to make him a cake ever again and I am very much ok with that.



icon_eek.gif Wow. Don't know what to say about your BIL. I guess I talk to my friend about it then?



Yep he is a piece of work. I often dont know what to say about him. lol
I would talk to your friend if you feel comfotable bring it up. Maybe, like the majority of my friends, she will offer to pay you for the cake (supplies or whatever) so you can bring a gift if its that important that a gift comes from you.
post #18 of 29
How old is the kid? Honestly a kid under 4 or 5 isn't going to really notice if you did or didn't give them a gift. Most of the time they are so over whelmed by things, and just rip in to presents they don't know who gave them what.

I guess I am very lucky with my friend because it has been an none issue. He son is 10 and there have been years the cake was my only gift. He never complained once.

If you do feel like you have to still get a gift, so the child has something to unwrap then I'd make it a small/cheaper one. I wouldn't go all out spending to buy a gift then making a cake for free either.
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post #19 of 29
The summer my son was 12, he was invited to a birthday party. I wasn't doing cakes for anyone but family at the time and money was beyond tight. I went to the $ store and filled a big gift bag for about $20. He was invited to every birthday party that summer because all his friends wanted a gift just like that. They didn't care about the cost.

Once I started doing cakes for other people, the cakes became the gift. It's amazing how fascinated teenage boys are with cake.
post #20 of 29
Just make sure that it is clear that the cake is a gift (not free). Otherwise you may start being expected to bring free cake with you to every party. It will also help to avoid hurt feelings about the "gift" no being appreciated. (just thinking of previous posts in regards to free/gift cakes)
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post #21 of 29
Thread Starter 
The issue is not really with my friend, but myself. I feel like, cause I brought both last year, I'm not doing it right this year. But I just can't afford it. I know I asked him last minute to do something for one of my kid's birthdays and he did, no questions asked, at a HUGE expense. So you know, I guess that's what makes me feel bad not to go all out. I know I can't afford it, but like I should try anyway. But you guys are right, he will understand. I just kind of wonder how many people will show up with gifts, cause even though he didn't have a lot of guest last year, he did have some and his' daughter got like 2 gifts, including mine. So I guess that's another thing that concerns me. I thought that was kind of messed up. I mean who doesn't bring a present for a child at their birthday? icon_confused.gif
post #22 of 29
Only 2 gifts at her birthday party? Poor girl... So the guests arrived just to eat free food, I reckon?
I would understand if it was an adult's birthday.
post #23 of 29
Thread Starter 
And they ate well too!
post #24 of 29
I guess I am the odd one here. When I do cakes for friends and family is still always get them a gift. I have never really thought about doing it any other way. That being said, if I am kinda strapped for cash I just make it a small gift icon_wink.gif.
post #25 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by QTCakes1

I know I can't afford it, but like I should try anyway.



You should do what you feel comfortable with and in the long run can afford.

In my opinion, there is no point in you going out and spending money that you don't have to spend on a kid's birthday present, especially when you are giving them a cake.

If you do feel the need to give a gift, then find a small gift that you can fit into your budget. You don't have to go all out.
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post #26 of 29
Thread Starter 
I went ahead and got an inexpensive present. I would end up feeling bad is she ended up with 2 gifts again.
post #27 of 29
I have never given one of my friends a free cake yet and I don't think i plan too. I have made cakes for a few friends who i know through my husband and I have charged them. Now "my" closer friends are just having kids so no one has asked me yet to make a birthday cake for them (still babies) but I am dreading the day. Because if I gave them a free cake, that would be replacing the $90-120 gift I would have given their kids? Hell NO!! I am in the habit of spending $15-$30 max on a birthday gift for another kid. I can't make a cake for that cheap. Just my 2 cents.
post #28 of 29
Thread Starter 
Well that would be $150 retail for me, but not my actual cost of the cake. More then a $20 dollar gift, but I wouldn't count it exactly as me buying a $150 gift.
post #29 of 29
QTCakes1~~I liked your solution of buying an inexpensive gift in addition to your custom cake. For kids under the age of 12, that's all they want, something to open. 9 times out of 10 the kid is going to run off with their buddies and the gift will be totally forgotten in about 30 seconds anyway.

A similar subject came up about a year ago. One of the CC'ers that does professional quality cakes said that if she is invited to a pot luck, she always pipes up, "I'll bring the BBQ beans!". That way, she never has to worry about "custom cake" expectations and no one is insulted or put-out or disappointed.

Another CC'er said when she was asked to bring a cake to a party, she went to the grocery store and purchased a cake and brought it. She said that's exactly what anyone else would be expected to do if they were asked to bring the cake. (Again, she never had to worry about "custom cake" expectations after that point and no one was insulted or put-out or disappointed.)

Both posters said they were not going to provide a custom gift that took 2-8 hours of their time, and cost from $30-$50 when everyone else coming to the party would be bringing $15 pot luck or $15 gifts that it took 30 minutes to prepare or purchase.

I thought both solutions were fabulous.

While I'm at it (kinda on a soapbox here), kids don't CARE about birthday cake! [Except Chelle's cousin.] They expect it, they want to say what kind, etc., but that is because it isn't their birthday yet, this is the fun leading up to the "Big Day". On the actual "Big Day", they don't want to stop playing with their friends for anything (pizza, soda, cake, ice cream, candy, treat bags, etc.). They open presents then haul off again.

At four recent parties for kids between 8 and 12, they didn't even want to open the presents because they were having way too much fun bowling or playing quarter games or throwing water balloons or ripping around the park. We had to call them and make them come over and open the gifts.
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