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Unhappy mother of the bride. How do I handle this

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 
Four days after the wedding I have recieved a email from the mother of the bride informing me that my cake was an embrassament to her and her husband. She went to to say that my SMBC tasted of lard and my cakes were dry and the fillings had no flavor.

The bride choose me after she had had my cake at two different weddings and came in for a tasting an choose the flavors. The mother did not attend the tasting. There seemed to be a difference in opinion between the mother of the bride and the bride in a number of issuse before the wedding. The ordered changed many times as the bride would decide things and then at a later date meet with the mother and then mother would want things changed. Twice I suggested to the daughter to have she and her mother come in and finalize thing in person with both of them being present. Never was this done.

I have never once had anyone ever complain about my cake/ or filling flavors and my daughter ate some the top of one of the cakes with extra filling three days later and tells me it tasted great and was not dry.

My reputation is important to me ,but as she is not the one who ordered the cake and I have not yet heard a complaint from the daughter I am not sure what to do.

I thoughts are is to contact the daughter as inquire as to her feelings and to check with the venue as to there thoughts.

The mother wants to come in with a sample of the cake to show how dry it was, but at this point how do I know how she cared for it. Suggestions anyone? Attached is a photo of the cake.
post #2 of 27
Sounds like a momzilla! I can't see the attachment. icon_sad.gif

I wouldn't really worry unless the bride says something. Mom might be fishing for a refund.
post #3 of 27
Thread Starter 
trying to attach photo again.
post #4 of 27
Thread Starter 
gave up on trying to attach Photo. The cake it the one called blush cottage rose. I just posted it to my pictures.
post #5 of 27
well if mom didn't pay for the cake i'd tell her to take a walk (in a nice way of course if you prefer icon_wink.gif) other wise jut tell her that your decision dealings have been with the bride and if the bride herself had questions you'd be happy to discuss them with HER.. other wise good day and sorry she wasn't happy with the product (doubt she's happy with... Anything.. ) chin up i'm certain its the latter with mom. if your having probs with photos here if your not used to this - try uploading to Photobucket, it gives you many format options to use there for reposting in email, forum boards etc icon_smile.gif hope this helps take care okicon_smile.gif we're here for ya
i've gone crazy~ but it keeps me from going insane! heheheh
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i've gone crazy~ but it keeps me from going insane! heheheh
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post #6 of 27
Yeah for this one I'd send a short sweet email back:
"Thank you for the feedback"

That's all. Then I'd not deal with her anymore.

That's pretty ridiculous to want to bring in a piece of 4 day old cake... of course it's going to be dry.

Keep us updated icon_smile.gif

Btw... the only photo I found close to that name was 'blush open roses"... is that it? Very pretty cake!
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
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"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
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post #7 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by GenGen

well if mom didn't pay for the cake i'd tell her to take a walk (in a nice way of course if you prefer icon_wink.gif) other wise jut tell her that your decision dealings have been with the bride and if the bride herself had questions you'd be happy to discuss them with HER.. other wise good day and sorry she wasn't happy with the product (doubt she's happy with... Anything.. ) chin up i'm certain its the latter with mom.



I agree. The mom is probably just not happy that the daughter actually had the nerve to make her own decisions. She also may be looking for some of her money back. I don't know that I would quantify her email with a response. If she calls or you are forced to speak with her, I would let her know that the bride was your client. For peace of mind, because I would need it too, it couldn't hurt to contact the bride and the venue. Good luck!!
Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too....Not me!!!
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Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too....Not me!!!
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post #8 of 27
Your cakes are awesome. Sorry I can't taste from here....LOL. I think I would do the same as everyone else is saying. "My contract was with the Bride, until I've heard from her......"

On another note, my mother was like this when I got married, if it wasn't her way, it wasn't happening, geez, it was a nightmare. Took all the fun out of it. She eloped, BTW. I think that was the real issue. She was deteremined to have the "experience", if you know what I mean. I couldn't make a decision w/out her jumping down my throat. This really sounds familiar.

I think it was wise of you to try and get them together back before the wedding to come to terms on the cake, but maybe you could try and point that out to "Mother", if need be........
Major life events require sugar.
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Major life events require sugar.
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post #9 of 27
Tell Mrs. Bates, err, "mother", that you appreciate the feedback, and that after several days there isn't much you can do because the cake has dried out over time. Sorry you had to deal with Momzilla!

Your cakes are very beautiful by the way!
post #10 of 27
"Dear PITA MOB,
Thank you for your feedback. However, as my contract was with your daughter I can only discuss the cake with her. I will be sure to contact her soon to make sure she was happy with the cake.
Sincerely,
Pissed off cake decorator
Tact is telling someone where to go so nicely they can't wait to take the trip!
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Tact is telling someone where to go so nicely they can't wait to take the trip!
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post #11 of 27
While I agree completely that this is an issue to be dealt with the bride, don't underestimate the power of apron strings.
Tread carefully, be nice and professional. The bride may have no problem with anything, but if sweet mummsy had that much influence over all her decisions in the process, don't think a wedding ring is going to slice through that cord anytime soon.

The bride may have loved it, but if her mother says she hated it, AND you disregarded her complaint and blew her off, then the bride may change her tune.

HOWEVER, 4 day old cake isn't going to help this either. Can you call the catering hall? Check to see if anyone there knows if the cake was enjoyed before responding. Do you use part shortening in your SMBC? If not, you also have that argument that it couldn't have tasted like "lard."
life is short, get a cakesafe.
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life is short, get a cakesafe.
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post #12 of 27
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone for the feed back. I appreciate the time you took to give me your thoughts. I had a night tossing and turning about this one. I quess you get one everyone now and then! :c icon_cry.gif ry:
post #13 of 27
I agree with jenmat! My mom was a horrible mob for my sisters wedding. She complained about everything and tried to get the money back on most of what was spent. My sister ordered a wedding cake and it was beautful and delicious! My mom said "ugh this is so dry". She said it so many times during the reception that quite a few of my family memebers were brainwashed into thinking it too. The power of suggestion.........My sister disagreed and was set on it being a great cake until my mom pulled her aside and had a talk. After that my sister was disappointed with the entire wedding and was upset with the Baker, DJ, Caterer.....you name it. My mom called the baker and yelled at her and said horrible things because the baker wouldn't give back any money at all and said "we had a contract and I delivered a delicious cake to MY standards". That was it. I saw the baker a few days later and I told her the cake was delicious and she was RIGHT to not give in when my monster mom called.
Don't give in especially if you KNOW you kept your side of the contract and produced a wedding cake they ordered. You know it was a great cake.

Ms Pinky LaRue, LLC -  Licensed, Inspected, Insured and Legal!

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Ms Pinky LaRue, LLC -  Licensed, Inspected, Insured and Legal!

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post #14 of 27
Your cakes are beautiful! I agree with others that perhaps you should check with the venue before you respond to MOB. I wonder what MOB would do if you told her that she's welcome to drop off the piece of cake she has even though cake that's been cut and exposed to air will tend to dry out, and that you'll be happy to speak with the bride when they return from their honeymoon. I would try at this point to keep it between you and the bride. Listen to mom, but try to get her out of the picture.
post #15 of 27
Oh, good grief, that poor bride icon_confused.gif

I'd e-mail back with,
"Thank you for your feedback.

It's my business policy to deal only with the individual(s) who signed the original contract for the cake.

I'll be forwarding your comments to the bride and groom.** (assuming they're the ones who signed the contract).

Rae
I love you, but your emergency is not my crisis!

They say that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.--Terry Pratchett (b.194
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I love you, but your emergency is not my crisis!

They say that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.--Terry Pratchett (b.194
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