Unhappy Mother Of The Bride. How Do I Handle This

Business By rowingmom Updated 2 Sep 2011 , 9:08pm by GenGen

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rowingmom Posted 30 Aug 2011 , 7:30am
post #1 of 27

Four days after the wedding I have recieved a email from the mother of the bride informing me that my cake was an embrassament to her and her husband. She went to to say that my SMBC tasted of lard and my cakes were dry and the fillings had no flavor.

The bride choose me after she had had my cake at two different weddings and came in for a tasting an choose the flavors. The mother did not attend the tasting. There seemed to be a difference in opinion between the mother of the bride and the bride in a number of issuse before the wedding. The ordered changed many times as the bride would decide things and then at a later date meet with the mother and then mother would want things changed. Twice I suggested to the daughter to have she and her mother come in and finalize thing in person with both of them being present. Never was this done.

I have never once had anyone ever complain about my cake/ or filling flavors and my daughter ate some the top of one of the cakes with extra filling three days later and tells me it tasted great and was not dry.

My reputation is important to me ,but as she is not the one who ordered the cake and I have not yet heard a complaint from the daughter I am not sure what to do.

I thoughts are is to contact the daughter as inquire as to her feelings and to check with the venue as to there thoughts.

The mother wants to come in with a sample of the cake to show how dry it was, but at this point how do I know how she cared for it. Suggestions anyone? Attached is a photo of the cake.

26 replies
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MamaMia808 Posted 30 Aug 2011 , 7:32am
post #2 of 27

Sounds like a momzilla! I can't see the attachment. icon_sad.gif

I wouldn't really worry unless the bride says something. Mom might be fishing for a refund.

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rowingmom Posted 30 Aug 2011 , 7:56am
post #3 of 27

trying to attach photo again.

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rowingmom Posted 30 Aug 2011 , 8:04am
post #4 of 27

gave up on trying to attach Photo. The cake it the one called blush cottage rose. I just posted it to my pictures.

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GenGen Posted 30 Aug 2011 , 8:54am
post #5 of 27

well if mom didn't pay for the cake i'd tell her to take a walk (in a nice way of course if you prefer icon_wink.gif) other wise jut tell her that your decision dealings have been with the bride and if the bride herself had questions you'd be happy to discuss them with HER.. other wise good day and sorry she wasn't happy with the product (doubt she's happy with... Anything.. ) chin up i'm certain its the latter with mom. if your having probs with photos here if your not used to this - try uploading to Photobucket, it gives you many format options to use there for reposting in email, forum boards etc icon_smile.gif hope this helps take care okicon_smile.gif we're here for ya

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Darthburn Posted 30 Aug 2011 , 11:17am
post #6 of 27

Yeah for this one I'd send a short sweet email back:
"Thank you for the feedback"

That's all. Then I'd not deal with her anymore.

That's pretty ridiculous to want to bring in a piece of 4 day old cake... of course it's going to be dry.

Keep us updated icon_smile.gif

Btw... the only photo I found close to that name was 'blush open roses"... is that it? Very pretty cake!

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kharvey Posted 30 Aug 2011 , 11:29am
post #7 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by GenGen

well if mom didn't pay for the cake i'd tell her to take a walk (in a nice way of course if you prefer icon_wink.gif) other wise jut tell her that your decision dealings have been with the bride and if the bride herself had questions you'd be happy to discuss them with HER.. other wise good day and sorry she wasn't happy with the product (doubt she's happy with... Anything.. ) chin up i'm certain its the latter with mom.




I agree. The mom is probably just not happy that the daughter actually had the nerve to make her own decisions. She also may be looking for some of her money back. I don't know that I would quantify her email with a response. If she calls or you are forced to speak with her, I would let her know that the bride was your client. For peace of mind, because I would need it too, it couldn't hurt to contact the bride and the venue. Good luck!!

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enchantedcreations Posted 30 Aug 2011 , 11:31am
post #8 of 27

Your cakes are awesome. Sorry I can't taste from here....LOL. I think I would do the same as everyone else is saying. "My contract was with the Bride, until I've heard from her......"

On another note, my mother was like this when I got married, if it wasn't her way, it wasn't happening, geez, it was a nightmare. Took all the fun out of it. She eloped, BTW. I think that was the real issue. She was deteremined to have the "experience", if you know what I mean. I couldn't make a decision w/out her jumping down my throat. This really sounds familiar.

I think it was wise of you to try and get them together back before the wedding to come to terms on the cake, but maybe you could try and point that out to "Mother", if need be........

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AnnieCahill Posted 30 Aug 2011 , 12:26pm
post #9 of 27

Tell Mrs. Bates, err, "mother", that you appreciate the feedback, and that after several days there isn't much you can do because the cake has dried out over time. Sorry you had to deal with Momzilla!

Your cakes are very beautiful by the way!

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cakesbycathy Posted 30 Aug 2011 , 1:38pm
post #10 of 27

"Dear PITA MOB,
Thank you for your feedback. However, as my contract was with your daughter I can only discuss the cake with her. I will be sure to contact her soon to make sure she was happy with the cake.
Sincerely,
Pissed off cake decorator

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jenmat Posted 30 Aug 2011 , 1:57pm
post #11 of 27

While I agree completely that this is an issue to be dealt with the bride, don't underestimate the power of apron strings.
Tread carefully, be nice and professional. The bride may have no problem with anything, but if sweet mummsy had that much influence over all her decisions in the process, don't think a wedding ring is going to slice through that cord anytime soon.

The bride may have loved it, but if her mother says she hated it, AND you disregarded her complaint and blew her off, then the bride may change her tune.

HOWEVER, 4 day old cake isn't going to help this either. Can you call the catering hall? Check to see if anyone there knows if the cake was enjoyed before responding. Do you use part shortening in your SMBC? If not, you also have that argument that it couldn't have tasted like "lard."

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rowingmom Posted 30 Aug 2011 , 2:06pm
post #12 of 27

Thanks everyone for the feed back. I appreciate the time you took to give me your thoughts. I had a night tossing and turning about this one. I quess you get one everyone now and then! :c icon_cry.gif ry:

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knlcox Posted 30 Aug 2011 , 2:14pm
post #13 of 27

I agree with jenmat! My mom was a horrible mob for my sisters wedding. She complained about everything and tried to get the money back on most of what was spent. My sister ordered a wedding cake and it was beautful and delicious! My mom said "ugh this is so dry". She said it so many times during the reception that quite a few of my family memebers were brainwashed into thinking it too. The power of suggestion.........My sister disagreed and was set on it being a great cake until my mom pulled her aside and had a talk. After that my sister was disappointed with the entire wedding and was upset with the Baker, DJ, Caterer.....you name it. My mom called the baker and yelled at her and said horrible things because the baker wouldn't give back any money at all and said "we had a contract and I delivered a delicious cake to MY standards". That was it. I saw the baker a few days later and I told her the cake was delicious and she was RIGHT to not give in when my monster mom called.
Don't give in especially if you KNOW you kept your side of the contract and produced a wedding cake they ordered. You know it was a great cake.

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KSMill Posted 30 Aug 2011 , 3:33pm
post #14 of 27

Your cakes are beautiful! I agree with others that perhaps you should check with the venue before you respond to MOB. I wonder what MOB would do if you told her that she's welcome to drop off the piece of cake she has even though cake that's been cut and exposed to air will tend to dry out, and that you'll be happy to speak with the bride when they return from their honeymoon. I would try at this point to keep it between you and the bride. Listen to mom, but try to get her out of the picture.

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BlakesCakes Posted 30 Aug 2011 , 7:32pm
post #15 of 27

Oh, good grief, that poor bride icon_confused.gif

I'd e-mail back with,
"Thank you for your feedback.

It's my business policy to deal only with the individual(s) who signed the original contract for the cake.

I'll be forwarding your comments to the bride and groom.** (assuming they're the ones who signed the contract).

Rae

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Herekittykitty Posted 30 Aug 2011 , 9:48pm
post #16 of 27

Personally, I wouldn't respond at all. Some people are never happy and if you give them any notice they will keep after you. She sounds like one of those.

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GenGen Posted 1 Sep 2011 , 12:37am
post #17 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Herekittykitty

Personally, I wouldn't respond at all. Some people are never happy and if you give them any notice they will keep after you. She sounds like one of those.




that too is true. the OP will have to take in to account what she knows of the mom and bride and decide if this is the right way to go with mom. hoping things die down for her but.. sometimes there's just that one thorn...

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cakestyles Posted 1 Sep 2011 , 2:59am
post #18 of 27

If the MOB's name wasn't on the contract and if she didn't personally pay for this cake....I wouldn't respond to her message at all.

I'd wait and see if the bride contacts you.


If in fact she was involved in the contract and payment, than you'd have to address her complaint.

Her bringing you the uneaten cake at this point is useless since it's been almost 5 days.

Good luck!

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SweetcakesCT Posted 1 Sep 2011 , 3:24am
post #19 of 27

I'm so sorry u had to go through this. It sux dealing with negative people. You do beautiful (and I'm sure delicious) work, so try not to sweat it.

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Katiebelle74 Posted 1 Sep 2011 , 3:43am
post #20 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakestyles

If the MOB's name wasn't on the contract and if she didn't personally pay for this cake....I wouldn't respond to her message at all.

I'd wait and see if the bride contacts you.


If in fact she was involved in the contract and payment, than you'd have to address her complaint.

Her bringing you the uneaten cake at this point is useless since it's been almost 5 days.

Good luck!




Have to say I second this. Your work looks very pretty and professional. I had a mother of the groom come up to me at my most recent wedding and say she did not like the filling. Ok sorry, it is what the bride liked. Bride came in for tasting, bride chose cake and filling. Bride chose to have strawberry filling in every layer. Sorry mom in law. But being that mom in law did not pick it, did not pay for it and the bride was happy - mom-in-law is not really my problem.

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Bettyviolet101 Posted 1 Sep 2011 , 4:16am
post #21 of 27

So I guess we are all curious....did the mob have anything to do with the cake? Did she pay or sign anything? I agree with everyone on here! All very good advice. Let us know how it turns out!

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fondantgrl Posted 1 Sep 2011 , 4:34am
post #22 of 27

Sounds like the crazy MOB is looking for ways getting $$$ back..

She has $$$ signs across her forehead.. Ignore her.. If the bride is happy with it, then who cares what the psychotic mother thinks..

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fondantgrl Posted 1 Sep 2011 , 4:45am
post #23 of 27

If she did not pay for the cake, then she doesn't count, including her opinion. again : IGNORE ..

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fondantgrl Posted 1 Sep 2011 , 4:47am
post #24 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Herekittykitty

Personally, I wouldn't respond at all. Some people are never happy and if you give them any notice they will keep after you. She sounds like one of those.




Thank you !! I agree. thumbs_up.gif

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cakestyles Posted 2 Sep 2011 , 12:15pm
post #25 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiebelle74

Quote:
Originally Posted by cakestyles

If the MOB's name wasn't on the contract and if she didn't personally pay for this cake....I wouldn't respond to her message at all.

I'd wait and see if the bride contacts you.


If in fact she was involved in the contract and payment, than you'd have to address her complaint.

Her bringing you the uneaten cake at this point is useless since it's been almost 5 days.

Good luck!



Have to say I second this. Your work looks very pretty and professional. I had a mother of the groom come up to me at my most recent wedding and say she did not like the filling. Ok sorry, it is what the bride liked. Bride came in for tasting, bride chose cake and filling. Bride chose to have strawberry filling in every layer. Sorry mom in law. But being that mom in law did not pick it, did not pay for it and the bride was happy - mom-in-law is not really my problem.




Wow! I can't believe how some people act nowadays. I can't even imagine doing something like that at either of my children's weddings. It just wouldn't be any of my business.

Some people have NO shame.

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Adevag Posted 2 Sep 2011 , 1:13pm
post #26 of 27

There seems to be a pattern that distinguishes real complaints vs. fake ones to steal their money back. The MOB's complaint email has red flags all over it. She finds faults with the cake being dry AND the filling. They always seem to write their complaint letters with a plan to make you feel as bad as possible. Why would a SMBC taste like lard anyway? It doesn't make any sense.

I would suggest being cautious when talking to the bride as well. Just to see if she is being influenced by her mother...

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GenGen Posted 2 Sep 2011 , 9:08pm
post #27 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adevag

There seems to be a pattern that distinguishes real complaints vs. fake ones to steal their money back. The MOB's complaint email has red flags all over it. She finds faults with the cake being dry AND the filling. .


and waiting 4 days after consuming the cake to send in complaint. if it was as awful (which i highly doubt!!) as the lady said.. she'd be complaining and either by phone or in person Much much sooner

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