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HELP! Bridezilla....but she's a good friend (a little long)

post #1 of 28
7/20/11 at 5:01pm
Thread Starter 
Not sure how to deal/approach this.....

I have a good friend, we've been friends since HS, but it's been more of a "call you when I need you, my life sucks" type thing, rather than the "Hey, let's just hang out" type friend.

She's getting married in September. Originally asked for a 3 tier, beach themed wedding cake, all 3 tiers a different flavor and filling, BC, with white choc shells for deco, and travel 2.5 hours to deliver the cake. I told her I'd do it for $200, basically my costs for the cake. This was in May.

Since then she has made the following changes (not all at once, but since May and even since a cake testing):

* she wants the white choc decos to have a coconut flavoring to it
* the white/raspberry cake now needs to be white choc cake w/ rasp filling
* added a 4th tier (decided she wanted to keep the top tier afterall)
* the choc/peanut butter tier she now wants choc fudge with reese cups filling
* she wants it allcovered in fondant

Ok, she's killing me!!! Not to mention the cost is going to go way over $200!

How would you handle it?
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post #2 of 28
7/20/11 at 5:17pm
I would tell her based on the changes the price will be more. You are charging for supplies and not even the time to do it.
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post #3 of 28
7/20/11 at 5:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamdelights

I would tell her based on the changes the price will be more. You are charging for supplies and not even the time to do it.



Simple, no arguement.
Judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
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Judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
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post #4 of 28
7/20/11 at 5:41pm
I always like the idea of invoices, even for friends so they "see" what it is worth. Like-

3 tier cake $500
add 4th tier $100
gourmet filling upgrade $50
Add chocolate decos $50

My gift to you...... $500

That way, she sees what the "upgrades" cost and knows she will be responsible for the added costs.
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post #5 of 28
7/20/11 at 5:44pm
Just be straight with her. She'll only take advantage of you if you let her. The cost you gave her was based on what you originally discussed. If things change, especially an additional tier...the price changes too.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
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A closed mouth gathers no feet.
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post #6 of 28
7/20/11 at 5:57pm
I had a "friend" like this. Notice the I say "had", not "have." My guess is that if you tell her you can only do the new design for a new price she'll be offended that you're daring to ruin her big day. Me me me me me me me!

I'd tell her that you can do the new cake, but that it will have a higher price because it's totally different than what you had agreed to do. Then charge her what you'd charge normally, with a small discount if you're feeling generous. Which I wouldn't be after someone tried to take advantage of me. She'll either say okay, or have a fit, at which point you should decide that buying a toaster is a whole lot less stress than baking a cake and transporting it 2 1/2 hours away for an ungrateful vampire friend.
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http://www.acaketorememberva.blogspot.com
http://www.facebook.com/acaketoremember
http://www.youtube.com/karabuntin
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post #7 of 28
7/20/11 at 6:08pm
Give her an invoice for what the cake will cost her and subtract the $200 you were going to do the cake for. Then tell her this will be her balance that she will owe. Tell her you need to know by x date if she would still like you to make the cake and when she will have to pay by.

Keep it short and sweet. She can only take advantage of you if you let her.
Tact is telling someone where to go so nicely they can't wait to take the trip!
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Tact is telling someone where to go so nicely they can't wait to take the trip!
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post #8 of 28
7/20/11 at 6:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by carmijok

Just be straight with her. She'll only take advantage of you if you let her. The cost you gave her was based on what you originally discussed. If things change, especially an additional tier...the price changes too.


Amen!
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post #9 of 28
7/20/11 at 6:18pm
"call you when I need you, my life sucks" type thing, rather than the "Hey, let's just hang out" type friend."


That right there tells me what kind of a friend she is. Someone that uses people when she needs something. If I had a "friend" like that i would tell her what I would charge a regular customer and then maybe give her a 20% discount.
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post #10 of 28
7/20/11 at 7:17pm
"Calls you when she needs you" is not a friend. Why would you call her a friend? I find that ver strange. I had a "friend" who liked the free cakes. When I told her she ahd to start paying for them, she started getting them from Wal-Mart.
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post #11 of 28
7/21/11 at 12:50am
She's no friend. As soon as she realised what a great 'deal' you were prepared to give her, she decided to see how much more she can get out of you. She's taking advantage. I'm willing to bet she's only asking for all these upgrades because she thinks you won't charge for them (or at least won't charge anything near what they're worth). Tell her what the new price is for the revised cake (not being so generous this time!) and ask her to pay by xxxdate if she still wishes to proceed with the order.
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post #12 of 28
7/21/11 at 1:33am
Quote:
Originally Posted by bakencake

Quote:
Originally Posted by carmijok

Just be straight with her. She'll only take advantage of you if you let her. The cost you gave her was based on what you originally discussed. If things change, especially an additional tier...the price changes too.


Amen!



Ditto birthday.gif
There is no better therapy than baking a cake - well, perhaps eating it.

Take care of the Earth, it's the only one we've got.
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There is no better therapy than baking a cake - well, perhaps eating it.

Take care of the Earth, it's the only one we've got.
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post #13 of 28
7/21/11 at 3:17am
Hmmmmmmm, if she was a 'good friend' you wouldn't be posting on here, if she was a 'good friend' she wouldn't be taking advantage of your 'friendship' and keep upping the ante. You might just need to have a little chat with her and point out all the changes she has made since May and that there is a significant difference in the cost iand time involved. Make her aware that the money she is paying you for the cake is covering the cost of ingredients etc, but your 'gift' to her is your time. Spell it out that you will be spending xx hours at a normal cost of $xx per hour on HER cake. Be sweet and kind, but stick to your guns. If you walk away without reaching a happy compromise, you will become resentful and won't enjoy making the cake.
All the best with it.
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post #14 of 28
7/21/11 at 5:44am
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone for your input, which is pretty much what I was thinking too, but wanted to hear someone else say it, lol. I am going to break everything down to her in writing and show her where we are at and see where it goes. Her wedding is in September, so she still has time to go somewhere else if she feels the need to.
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post #15 of 28
7/21/11 at 6:11am
Quote:
Originally Posted by carmijok

Just be straight with her. She'll only take advantage of you if you let her. The cost you gave her was based on what you originally discussed. If things change, especially an additional tier...the price changes too.



This.
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