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Annoyed with non-caker friends.... - Page 4  

post #46 of 57
5/31/11 at 4:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaPeps

I spoke to my sister about it as she knows her, and my sister said "No cake for her then. Stop bending over backwards for her, she's going to keep saying she doesn't want to spend the money until she gets free cake."

I'm just taking it to heart because you wouldn't think friends would try to extort you. If anything I would say "Here's £70 just in case you need to pick up any little things, any change (which would be a maximum of £8!!) you keep as a thank you" But instead they just want to get the cheapest deal icon_sad.gif



Unfortunately, people are more self centered these days and don't care if they are taking advantage of a "friend". After all, you should feel honored to do this for her. icon_rolleyes.gif

I don't mean to sound so negative but people seem to feel entitled to whatever they want. That's why a true friend who doesn't take advantage is so special.

It's up to you. I don't think that you're being unreasonable at all. I think that you're giving her a heck of a deal. Too bad for her if she can't see your kindness for what it is.
Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts.
Charles Dickens
Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts.
Charles Dickens
post #47 of 57
5/31/11 at 4:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melvira

Quote:
Originally Posted by WykdGud

I have never understood why so many cake decorators take the slightest perceived slight and their first thought is to complain about it on the internet. LET. IT. GO.



EVERYONE complains. Even Mr. Rogers got pissed off once in a while. Sometimes you take it, and you take it, and you 'get over it' until you're about to choke someone, then you bitch about it on the internet so that you DON'T end up in prison. It's not my 'first thought' to complain, but that's what happens when I'm at the breaking point. It's all good. We're here for each other as support and to indentify/connect with. We're not just sympathizng, we're empathizing. Not a dang thing wrong with that.



Very well said! thumbs_up.gif
Anna (105 lbs lost since June 1, 2009)
Anna (105 lbs lost since June 1, 2009)
post #48 of 57
5/31/11 at 5:05pm
Thanks SugarFrosted. And I certainly mean no disrespect with my reply, simply hoping to shed a little light to anyone who may not get the point of some of the things we share here.

I'll give you an good example... sometimes I complain that my husband doesn't take out the garbage when it's full, and I have to remind him. Now, he doesn't beat me, cheat on me, abuse our children, or emotionally abuse me. He is a good provider, and never tells me not to spend our money, etc. But... that garbage still ticks me off once in a while, so I crab to someone who would understand... my BFF who also has a great hubby who has memory issues about the trash can. icon_lol.gif I recognize that in the grand scheme, my garbage issue is not a huge problem, but if that's what is ticking me off at the time... I am SO gonna vent about it! And when I get done I usually follow it up with, "But if these are my problems... I lead a truly blessed life!" I can totally recognize how good I have it.
Melvira: Mistress of the dark... chocolate!

Well that's just great. Peanut butter in my crack.
Melvira: Mistress of the dark... chocolate!

Well that's just great. Peanut butter in my crack.
post #49 of 57
5/31/11 at 5:11pm
I was always taught "Educate, don't berate." What's the point in simply complaining about stupid people are for not realize how much a cake costs, or how much notice is needed, or any of the other various and sundry complaints that get posted about here ad nauseum.

It's one thing to get upset over an obvious insult, and quite another to continually get upset when people are ignorant about something they have never done themselves. Reminds me of someone who acted like I was dumb for not knowing how to change a tire... (DUH! I have AAA for that! LOL!)
post #50 of 57
5/31/11 at 6:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by WykdGud

...or any of the other various and sundry complaints that get posted about here ad nauseum.



But you see, just because it happened to Sally and she posted a thread about it doesn't mean that it won't tick me off when it happens to me. I may not have even SEEN Sally's thread. If you hate listening to people complain, the absolutely glorious part is that you don't HAVE to listen!! When you see a post titled "Stupid Cheap Jerks" for example... you pretty much know where it's going... click away young padawan! But, it is absolutely just as much your right to hate these posts as it is their right to post them. Ahhhh democracy... I love you so.

And really, if I'm going to be annoyed by a topic being posted repeatedly, it's going to be something like, "Which is better... box mix or scratch?" Or some other topic that has been beaten until well incorporated, and has produced some of the MOST polarizing arguments on this entire board. You simply can't win with that conversation. But I often feel comforted by threads like this one... it's the whole, "Someone else has been to Suckville too, and bought a t-shirt!"
Melvira: Mistress of the dark... chocolate!

Well that's just great. Peanut butter in my crack.
Melvira: Mistress of the dark... chocolate!

Well that's just great. Peanut butter in my crack.
post #51 of 57
5/31/11 at 6:34pm
I guess you're missing my point. My point is this - maybe it's not the customer/relative/friend who has the problem... maybe the problem is within the person complaining and perhaps we are doing them a disservice by coddling them and agreeing with their point of view ("Those idiots! How DARE they not know how much time/money/blood, sweat & tears we put into our cakes!!!")

So while it's not that I get tired of seeing the threads, I get tired of reading with numerous posts agreeing with the OP instead of telling her that perhaps she may have overreacted or misjudged the situation.
post #52 of 57
5/31/11 at 6:42pm
Oh for heaven's sake, WykdGud. Sometimes we just listen. We don't need to always problem solve. We empathize. If you don't like this sort of thread, just don't read them.
Anna (105 lbs lost since June 1, 2009)
Anna (105 lbs lost since June 1, 2009)
post #53 of 57
5/31/11 at 6:43pm
Ok, THAT I can understand and agree with to an extent. I do often wonder when some people tell the story of how they did everything perfectly and the cake fell over, and everyone quickly agrees the customer must've *done* something. (I am NOT pointing out anyone in particular, that was just a generic example!!) It all goes back to that whole idea of sticking up for each other, which I get, but do agree that sometimes we're to blame. Sometimes we simply screw up. But, we don't always want to admit we did. And, if you only know what the caker tells you, it's easy to believe it was allllll the customer's fault! icon_lol.gif I know there have been a few times in past years where someone has posted that the customer wasn't happy with the cake and they post a pic and I think... "Yah, I'd have been ticked too." Of course everyone tells them it's not THAT bad... but sometimes it is!
Melvira: Mistress of the dark... chocolate!

Well that's just great. Peanut butter in my crack.
Melvira: Mistress of the dark... chocolate!

Well that's just great. Peanut butter in my crack.
post #54 of 57
5/31/11 at 11:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Claire138



Now comes the bit I'm annoyed about. Someone contacted me to ask about prices etc and I responded with the details when I get a follow up email from my friend (bc she set up the site she also administers it so gets all mail) to tell me that it is a friend of hers and could I give her a good deal?
Excuse me?



First of all, someone that is an administrator on the site and receives the emails does NOT have to read them. That's pretty much invasion of privacy. She has NO NEED to read your emails.

Secondly, I would simply tell her that you do not give "deals" to any one except YOUR family, friends, etc(whomever you actually DO give them to) and that you made HER cake as a thank you for helping you with your website.

Further, that you are a little offended that she is monitoring your emails as part of her admin of the website. That the job of an admin is to make sure that there are no typographical errors, update photos, and make changes as requested by the website owner (you!) And, that you would appreciate if for now on she would re-route the emails to come only to you.

After all, if she is going to be monitoring the site for all of HER friends and promising them that "SHE can get them a deal because SHE did the website" (and, you KNOW that must be what happened in this situation, right?) then there is no way that you will be able to have a successful business if your webmaster is promising people substantial discounts on your behalf.

I'm sorry if I overstepped my bounds here, but it's things like this that just burn me UP!! The nerve of some people!!
post #55 of 57
6/1/11 at 12:28am
Quote:
Originally Posted by pmarks0

Quote:
Originally Posted by Claire138

This forum comes at the right moment for me. I am feeling so bummed as I have a close friend who helped me make a site for my cakes (she's way more computer savy than I am) and as a thank you I made a 3 tier cake for her daughters nomination party which she was really grateful for.

Now comes the bit I'm annoyed about. Someone contacted me to ask about prices etc and I responded with the details when I get a follow up email from my friend (bc she set up the site she also administers it so gets all mail) to tell me that it is a friend of hers and could I give her a good deal?
Excuse me?



My main job is in IT (caking is on the side although would love to give up the IT job) and your statement above that your friend administers your website so therefore she gets all the mail and (obviously) reads it raised red flags to me. There's absolutely no reason for anyone, other than you, to receive and read the mail you get thorugh your website. Administration should relate only to the design and management of the site itself when you have updates to do regarding content, or issues with publishing, or possibly your domain name if needed. The email is separate from the website and she should not have access to that. Why does she need to be privy to any business you're doing and prices you're quoting? The fact that she had the audacity to send you a followup email to an response you sent regarding a quote request and asked for you to discount your price for HER friend is impertinent and she's crossed a line as far as I'm concerned. It sounds like you might be acessing your mail through your hosting company (that's how I do mine) and therefore use Internet Explorer or Firefox to log in and access your mail. And therefore she's logging in as well. Change your password and don't tell her what it is. If she squawks and ask why you changed it, ask her why she needs it. For me this is all security. Some of you may think I'm being overly anal about this, but as someone who manages an email system, I'm very security conscious when it comes to who should have access. And the fact that her behaviour annoys you says that you don't think she should have that access either.




That was my point EXACTLY!! I guess I should have waited until I read through the entire thread before commenting on it, since you seemed to have covered it much better than I did...but, I was so livid when I read that the person that set up the site had the audacity to actually log in and read personal business emails, I just couldn't hold my tongue. So I had to comment on it right after I read it! Your idea of changing the password is brilliant. Great advice!!
post #56 of 57
6/1/11 at 12:57am
Quote:
Originally Posted by WykdGud

So while it's not that I get tired of seeing the threads, I get tired of reading with numerous posts agreeing with the OP instead of telling her that perhaps she may have overreacted or misjudged the situation.


Haven't you heard? telling someone they overreacted gets you labeled as a big "meanie" and a lecture on how we're all suppose to "support" each other by hugging and coddling each other. No WAY are we suppose to be honest! icon_rolleyes.gificon_lol.gif

I agree with your statement above. It's too bad it's frowned upon by many of our fellow cakers.

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post #57 of 57
6/1/11 at 2:38am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackie


PURPOSE OF CAKE CENTRAL

Cake Central exists to provide a postive, fun, and safe environment for cake decorators of all experience and skill level to share ideas, tips, techniques, and personal stories. Cake Central is meant to be a haven away from the negativity in the rest of our lives.

IF the above is what you are looking for, Cake Central is the place for you.


MYTH 1: AT CC BE CAREFUL! YOU HAVE TO BE SYRUPY SWEET

I do not require anyone to be "syrupy" sweet. What I do require is that people have basic respect and kindness. I do not, and will not allow any threads to go on bashing other people, whether they belong to this community or not. CakeCentral.com is positive place and it will continue to stay that way.

There is a distinct difference between "syrupy sweet" and basic human kindness, compassion, and consideration.


TAKE YOUR TRASH OUTSIDE

If you would like to talk trash about a TV show, or another person, take it elsewhere. Those conversations and comments are not welcome here.
There are million... actually BILLIONS of other places on the internet where you are free to trash celebrities, TV shows and other people, just don't bring it to CakeCentral.com


MYTH 2 YOU CAN'T DISAGREE WITH ANYONE

I have said countless times, over and over and over.... , this is a public forum, and you can disagree.

The only requirement is that you do it respectfully. If you are unable to respond respectfully, or with a basic common courtesy, do not respond at all.

There have been many forum posts started that will go on for pages and pages of people sharing their different opinions and discussing the topic, and making their disagreements in a civil and mature way.

I shouldn't need to, but I applaud those people for having basic decency toward other human beings.

In an ideal world, we would all be respectful, and moderating would not be a necessity, but the reality is, not all members here have shown the ability to maintain a respectful nature, and therefore moderating discussions is required.

WHAT's THE DEAL WITH COMPLIMENTING SOMEONE's POORLY DONE CAKE?

If you personally feel that someone does not deserve a compliment, simply do not comment!

Or better yet, give encouragement! Compliment the effort... It takes a lot of guts for someone to post their photo in the gallery next to some of the best chefs and highest rated cake decorators' cakes!


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There is already so much garbage and negativity in the rest of our daily lives that I will not have it pollute the utopia I have found with this community of generous and thoughtful people.

THANK YOU everyone for creating a safe place for me, that I truly enjoy every day.



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