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Venting--Church wants a huge cake at my expense (for FREE) - Page 2

post #16 of 50
5/15/11 at 1:40pm
Your cupcakes are awesome and I love the way you packaged them up. They look really cute! I agree with MamaDear and CakesHeaven. If you dont want to do bunch of cupcakes or a cake for every event that comes up then pick one big one the church does and offer to do that every year or whenever they do it. If they want to use you for every event and your okay with that Id give them a few cakes to choose from with a set price and go from there. Thatll make it easier for you and them. If they want something more complicated and specific they pay extra. I used to do something like that with a security company in the city. It worked really well.
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post #17 of 50
5/15/11 at 1:42pm
and as for giving a discount, that is nice, but they don't get a discount when they go to someone else to do it. I believe in doing people right.
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post #18 of 50
5/15/11 at 2:20pm
You've heard the old saying, "No good deed goes unpunished."
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Answers to the most often asked questions re: SPS. SPS instructions are on Page 15 of the Sticky at the top of the Cake Decorating Forum. Supplies can be ordered from Oasis Supply, Global or BakeryCrafts.
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post #19 of 50
5/15/11 at 2:41pm
I would say to them "okay, I will consider my supplies my tithes and offerings for the next few months!" See how the tune will change then.
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post #20 of 50
5/15/11 at 2:46pm
Of course the church wants you to donate. That's where they get their money from - members donating money, or time or talents to fundraising. And like a PP said, they're picturing the effort and money that goes into whipping up a box mix or two, plus a little extra, and thinking it's not a big deal.

And it's probably different individuals in the church asking for donations to different events, possibly without realising you've already been asked recently.

So I'd say donate or not as you have the time and desire, and come up with a friendly phrase to use when you decline. And try to think the best of them - it's entirely likely they're not trying to take advantage of you. icon_smile.gif
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post #21 of 50
5/15/11 at 2:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by leah_s

You've heard the old saying, "No good deed goes unpunished."



Just what I was thinking!
I do cakes for my church often I never ask
For any money for them, but you know what!?
most of the time they reimburse me some anyhow.
But I don't expect it.

What Leahs post also brings to mind 'you reap what you sow'!

I look at it as my gift to the church! It's what I can bring,
to make people smile! It's a gift! Not an obligation!


This is just the way I see it! I know not everyone feels the same way!
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"Turning Imagination into an Edible Creation"

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post #22 of 50
5/15/11 at 4:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by CanadianCakin

'you reap what you sow'!

Sorry but that was an uncalled for remark in this situation. 'You reap what you sow' usually refers to doing somthing wrong such as a crime, or not caring about others even if a crisic has occurred.

The OP bought baking supplies with her own money, baked, packaged and donated to a cause close to her heart through her church. The OP has also stated she did not wish to donate free cakes and cupcakes whenever asked, as it would become too costly. She is hoping the church will see fit to reimburse her for the cost of ingredients. I hardly think that donates a 'you reap what you sow' comment.

It's lovely that you bake cakes for your church quite often, and don't consider it an obligation, but not everyone is in the same positition. Baking supplies are costly. If most of those supplies go to donated cakes and cupcakes, it can become a strain on the pocketbook, and quite easily become an unpleasant obligation.
Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.
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Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.
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post #23 of 50
5/15/11 at 4:45pm
My thought is similar to Mamadear ..... YOU pick your charities, not other people.

When I was 16, I had a baby brother die at 3 months old. He never came home from the hospital. Ergo, my charity of choice is the March of Dimes. I always sponsor someone in the walk. I'll happily donate for this organization. And when people tell me THEIR charity would love to have a free cake, I'd let them know "I only donate to the March of Dimes. I can't afford to donate to every charity, so I pick the one that means the most to me." (note: to ME)

It's amazing how people dont' get it and this crosses all lines. My husband does stand up comedy and you'll be AMAZED how many people will just walk up to him and say "Do a joke!" (It doesn't work that way!) That's like walking up to me and saying "make me a cake!" icon_lol.gif
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post #24 of 50
5/15/11 at 5:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by warchild

Quote:
Originally Posted by CanadianCakin

'you reap what you sow'!

Sorry but that was an uncalled for remark in this situation. 'You reap what you sow' usually refers to doing somthing wrong such as a crime, or not caring about others even if a crisic has occurred.

The OP bought baking supplies with her own money, baked, packaged and donated to a cause close to her heart through her church. The OP has also stated she did not wish to donate free cakes and cupcakes whenever asked, as it would become too costly. She is hoping the church will see fit to reimburse her for the cost of ingredients. I hardly think that donates a 'you reap what you sow' comment.

It's lovely that you bake cakes for your church quite often, and don't consider it an obligation, but not everyone is in the same positition. Baking supplies are costly. If most of those supplies go to donated cakes and cupcakes, it can become a strain on the pocketbook, and quite easily become an unpleasant obligation.



I think that what CanandianCakin meant, was that if you do good things, good things would come back to you. icon_biggrin.gif I think that this saying or quote could be taken either way, not just for the negative.
Muffins are just ugly cupcakes.
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Muffins are just ugly cupcakes.
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post #25 of 50
5/15/11 at 6:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

My thought is similar to Mamadear ..... YOU pick your charities, not other people.

When I was 16, I had a baby brother die at 3 months old. He never came home from the hospital. Ergo, my charity of choice is the March of Dimes. I always sponsor someone in the walk. I'll happily donate for this organization. And when people tell me THEIR charity would love to have a free cake, I'd let them know "I only donate to the March of Dimes. I can't afford to donate to every charity, so I pick the one that means the most to me." (note: to ME)

It's amazing how people dont' get it and this crosses all lines. My husband does stand up comedy and you'll be AMAZED how many people will just walk up to him and say "Do a joke!" (It doesn't work that way!) That's like walking up to me and saying "make me a cake!" icon_lol.gif



I'm the same when it comes to charity of choice. I lost my youngest son to SIDs, my Mother to congestive heart disease and stroke, my father to bone cancer and COPD. These are my charity of choice and I/we cannot afford another. We can only do what we can do with what we have when it comes to donating to charities or causes. If we gave in to all the charities that call for donations, or send never ending mail for donations, we'd not have a penny to our name.
Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.
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Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.
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post #26 of 50
5/16/11 at 5:59am
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

..... YOU pick your charities, not other people.
........ my charity of choice is the March of Dimes. I'll happily donate for this organization. And when people tell me THEIR charity would love to have a free cake, I'd let them know "I only donate to the March of Dimes. I can't afford to donate to every charity, so I pick the one that means the most to ME." (note: to ME)


thumbs_up.gif No need to stress, just say a simple NO if it is not something you are happy doing, and if you must give a further explanation, IndyDebi's example above is perfect. Then walk away knowing that you are doing what is right for YOU.
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post #27 of 50
5/16/11 at 8:56am
Thread Starter 
Greetings All,
Thank you so much for all of your replies. I have NOT been getting my email notifications to let me know when folks reply. I really appreciate everyone who understands my position & supports me. I love you all for that icon_smile.gif

For those of you (5 or 6 ) who don't understand my point of view and tried to make me seem like I'm some greedy/selfish person for not wanting to spend all of my time & money on supplies, how about YOU DONATE a cake to 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 etc of your customers or your family/friends/co-workers every time they give you a sob story about not having any money to pay for one of your cakes. After all, "it's a gift and we should give from a happy heart--and No good deed goes unpunished/you reap what you sow." Give me a break! I'm a full time nursing student (who pays out of pocket for a Bachelors of Science Nursing degree), a wife and a mother of 3 all on my husband's income.

Oh, I get it, because I didn't take cake classes/go to school, nor have a bakers license or my own bakery, I don't have a right to make some profit from a gift that God blessed me with. Only those who are "professional" or have their own bakeries should make a profit, right? God gives everyone special gifts & talents--for several reasons 1) to make a living ($$$) off it 2) to bless people who are less fortunate. 3) To introduce Christ to people. I GIVE from my heart every day. I volunteer at my church, I'm a member of two of our ministries, in which I had to pay for my own dance uniforms/supplies. The relay event that I donated my cupcakes too, I found out that they were eating my cupcakes w/out paying for them, whereas, I wanted a purse & they charged me for it!

I bake cakes/cupcakes/cookies for people and charge them only for supplies. In fact I just made 40 cupcakes and a 6x4 round cake (under my pics) for a friend all for $60. So, don't act like I'm some selfish heathen who just wants money.

And I was right, I was asked to not only donate a cake to the church (which I agreed to do a small cake b/c I love my church) but I was also asked to "DONATE" a bridal shower cake and birthday cakes to members as well (which I declined). So, I didn't "misunderstand" what I was asked to do and I have every right to get compensated for my time and the money that I've spent, especially if I'm ASKED to just give it away.

[/b]
Angelfire3
A woman is like a teabag. You don't know her strength until she's in hot water." Eleanor Roosevelt

God Is Greater Than Any Problem That You Have.
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Angelfire3
A woman is like a teabag. You don't know her strength until she's in hot water." Eleanor Roosevelt

God Is Greater Than Any Problem That You Have.
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post #28 of 50
5/16/11 at 10:08am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelfire3

...God gives everyone special gifts & talents...and
...The relay event that I donated my cupcakes too, I found out that they were eating my cupcakes w/out paying for them, whereas, I wanted a purse & they charged me for it!
[/b]



AngelFire 3 I can totally relate to what you are saying about God giving you a gift AND the part about how everyone expects you to decorate because you can decorate but I have been used and abused so many times that I finally started telling the relatives and friends (who abuse me) in my life that I would be glad to decorate any cake...that they baked...for whatever they needed it for. My cakes are always gifts or done for charity type events and folks can get quite free with their expectations so I find the bake it yourself method is very very effective in reducing these demands.

For the second part of your quote... How dare they STEAL the cupcakes that were donated to relay for life? yeah I said steal cause that is what they did... Guess they are going to have to speak with the BIG MAN for that one.

Just keep your chin up and try not to be discouraged by the crumbsnatchers.
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post #29 of 50
5/16/11 at 12:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelfire3

So, I didn't "misunderstand" what I was asked to do and I have every right to get compensated for my time and the money that I've spent, especially if I'm ASKED to just give it away.

[/b]



Honestly, I didn't think you were misunderstanding their meaning. I was just hoping that perhaps they meant it in a nice way...that they like your cakes a lot and had no idea how much work and expense went into them! kwim

I get asked to donate cakes, as well, and I often do. But sometimes it's inconvenient, or what they need is too much for me. And sometimes I just don't feel like it!! icon_lol.gif We all have to decide for ourselves what our limits are.

You are a very busy lady and probably pulled in all directions... be sure to take care of yourself. Oh, and I'm totally stealing your idea for those cute boxes from the dollar store. icon_smile.gif
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post #30 of 50
5/16/11 at 12:26pm
Quote:
Quote:

It's amazing how people dont' get it and this crosses all lines. My husband does stand up comedy and you'll be AMAZED how many people will just walk up to him and say "Do a joke!" (It doesn't work that way!) That's like walking up to me and saying "make me a cake!" icon_lol.gif

[/quote]

That's funny- my hubby is a stand up comedian too- and that is his all time peeve- "tell me a joke"- "make me laugh funny guy". Ugh! icon_smile.gif He's more polite with his responses than I would be icon_smile.gif
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