The Nerve Of Friends....

Decorating By live2create Updated 25 Dec 2010 , 12:08am by ozgirl42

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live2create Posted 23 Dec 2010 , 4:25pm
post #1 of 47

I just so need to vent, I have my cake business in my home and a job outside of my home. I sometimes think the in home business sucks because some think they can call at 9 PM. Anyways I had a friend call last Sat night late and needed a cake, fine... She asked if I could drop it off on my way to work OK. So I get there this morning her daughter answers the door, holding back this gigantic dog who is now jumping on me while I stand in the door cake in hand, her daughter tells me her mom is still in bed.. Really ya knew I was coming. I don't care if you were up late so was I and I still had to get up to finish things and be to work by 8:30.
So mom get up and we talk for a while I'm running late now, she asked how much she owed me I told her and she tells me she will put my check in the mail REALLY ... I just dropped off this cake waited for you to get out of bed and your going to put my check in the mail.. FRIENDS
So on my way home from work I am going to stop at the store and do my shopping for my Christmas dinner and when I get everything checked out and bagged I am goint to tell the clerk the check will be in the mail...WTF Yep I'm just a little upset I would never do that to anyone Tis the Season

46 replies
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TexasSugar Posted 23 Dec 2010 , 4:41pm
post #2 of 47

Next time, take the cake, turn and start walking away. Tell her when you get the money she gets the cake.

I'm not one to give into negativity and assume the worst about people, but if she couldn't take a minute to write out the check in her own home, I have a feeling you will have a hard time getting that money.

People will treat you how you let them. Don't let them walk all over you!

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Corrie76 Posted 23 Dec 2010 , 4:44pm
post #3 of 47

Sorry that had to happen...I had a co-worker ask if there was an invoice in the box of cookies I just made for her and if she could just be billed, lol. I just clung to my box of cookies and said that as soon as I got a check or cash in hand I'd hand over the cookies. She wrote me a check- but then asked that I wait til pay-day to deposit...thankfully it cleared the bank!

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myslady Posted 23 Dec 2010 , 5:07pm
post #4 of 47

I'm with Texas - why did she need to mail you a check when you were standing right there? She should have told you she didn't have the money when she ordered the cake or asked if she could pay you later. I hate when people just blatantly take advantage of others.

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bakencake Posted 23 Dec 2010 , 5:29pm
post #5 of 47

Im with texassugar

Quote:
Quote:

but if she couldn't take a minute to write out the check in her own home


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katystinykitchen Posted 23 Dec 2010 , 5:37pm
post #6 of 47

That is so frustrating! I would be upset as well!

I made my BEST FRIENDS sons first birthday cake and they came to pick it up while I was out so my husband handled it. When I got home he told me they didn't pay and had just left. Well we then attend the party and she still never paid. 3 months later she deletes me off of facebook and by this time I am beyond being polite and demand my money. She actually did end up sending the check but she claims she wrote the check the day of and just forgot. Never again!

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leah_s Posted 23 Dec 2010 , 5:50pm
post #7 of 47

See that's the nice thing about being in business, rather than a hobbyist. I have to account for everything coming in and all products going out and the income associated with them.

In business, there's money in my Paypal account before the cake gets made.

Period.

I don't care who you are or who you know.

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Creativebakes Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 12:54am
post #8 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by leah_s

See that's the nice thing about being in business, rather than a hobbyist. I have to account for everything coming in and all products going out and the income associated with them.

In business, there's money in my Paypal account before the cake gets made.

Period.

I don't care who you are or who you know.




Thats a really good idea. Friends and family are the ones that tend to take advantage of you the most. I made a cake for a friend and she paid me but then her check bounced and my bank took the money out and charged me for the check!! Never again. I realized if I want to be treated like a professional, I have to start acting like one! thumbs_up.gif

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cownsj Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 1:19am
post #9 of 47

Ever notice too, how "you" end up being the bad guy in all of this? The people who pull this nonense are also the ones who bad mouth you for being so pushy about getting paid, and how it's all your fault the friendship ended over a measly "$ fill in the amount". They seem to forget that they are the ones who tossed the friendship out the window over that measly amount.

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Ruth0209 Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 1:50am
post #10 of 47

You can often prevent those kinds of situations by telling the person how much it'll be when you make the arrangements to deliver it.

I always tell them, "It'll be $xx.xx, and if you'll have the check ready for me when I deliver it, we can make the switch and I will still be able to make it to work on time." or something like that. That way, you're telling them what they need to do to get their cake, not asking.

If you're going to wait until delivery to get your money, you need to set a very clear expectation up-front that they HAVE to pay you for the cake when you deliver it.

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TheCakeShak Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 1:57am
post #11 of 47

Ok, here you go with this one.... it's sorta on the same topic, but might get slightly turned...
How about when "the friend" wants a cake, calls at very last minute, doesn't even pick up cake, but sends "daddy" who comes and gets cake, but stands there and gives you an earful how "a friend shouldn't charge anything for a friend who needed a cake".
And then "the friend" doesn't even have the politeness to even tell you if they got the cake, if it was in one piece, if they liked the creation on it, or if it tasted like cardboard.
Instead, what you get is a box of crumbs from the friend who felt it was ok to just walk all over a friend and think they were "entitled" to free cake at your expense.

That's why if "my friends" want cake from me, then they have to pay first before any creations start.

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terrylee Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 2:04am
post #12 of 47

Well...what are best friends for.....! To take advantage of you..........NOT.

Sorry that happened. I think we have all been in that boat once or twice..but we soon learn, and cownsj is right..."we end up being the bad guy because we want to be paid".

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Kaytecake Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 2:46am
post #13 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCakeShak

How about when "the friend" wants a cake, calls at very last minute, doesn't even pick up cake, but sends "daddy" who comes and gets cake, but stands there and gives you an earful how "a friend shouldn't charge anything for a friend who needed a cake".




You've got to be kidding?!!!? Not that I'm doubting your story- but really! Who the heck says that to someone they hired to produce a lovely cake? I love baking cakes but no one NEEDS a cake. Yes, they are a great food item to have for a celebration. If you can't afford to pay for a cake, than you either bake it yourself (like people did in prior generations) or provide a dessert that you can afford. He was way out of line talking to you like that. I'd hate to have his nerve in my tooth. Did "daddy" also tell the grocery clerk that they shouldn't charge for the food because she needed it?

cownsj's comment that, "we're the bad guys for insisting on being paid" is too true. Sad but true.

live2create- you do lovely work and your "friend" should be happy that you agreed to make her a cake. I can't imagine doing that to someone. I hate to owe anyone a penny. I hope that the check does come soon and clears. I would probably be booked if she ever asked for another cake. icon_twisted.gif

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amyoungbl00d5 Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 2:56am
post #14 of 47

I totally understand your frustration. Been there...I had a friend ask me to make her child's Bday cake. It was a last minute request...so she left design up to me. She didn't say anything about price. But I made sure that I didn't make an extravagant cake. We were invited to the party so i brought it with me. When we got there..she didn't pay me. But I didn't think anything about it..the party was in full swing. But when we were ready to leave and we said goodbye..I mentioned I would drop by her house so she could pay me. She looked shocked...asked me why? I told her I don't do this for free..it takes a lot of time, money and effort. She says oh well I thought we were friends and you would just be doing this out of friendship...WHAT? It would be one thing if I had offered..but I didn't she asked me!...I was furious! Then she says well that's more than I can spend. I told her she could pay me in payments. But I did get paid. And told her if we are going to be friends she should have talked to me about her intentions.
I learned a lesson..talk price when they ask you about doing a cake. I always ask for their budget.
I would have told her..no check...no cake. And walked away. Your time is just as valuable as anyone elses.

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indydebi Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 3:07am
post #15 of 47

What gets me is, do they expect.......

free groceries from their friend who runs the local grocery store?
free gas from their cousin who runs a gas station?
free car repairs from their uncle who runs a mechanic business?
free shoes from their friend who works in the shoe store?
free clothes from their aunt who sews?
free wedding dress from their friend who works in a bridal shop?
free prescriptions from the uncle who is a pharmacist?

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HowCoolGomo1 Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 3:36am
post #16 of 47

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

What really gets me, is she knew you were coming with the cake and couldn't get out of bed. Then had the audacity to tell her kid your check would be in the mail.

She's not your friend. She's having a huge laugh because she pulled something on you!

Sorry I'm being brutal but, there are lessons to be learned.

'Friends' that ask you to do cakes, when you do them for money; Are the first ones you have sign contracts.
'Friends'; that ask you do cakes need to give you a deposit for a minimum of 75%; IN CASH!.

You need to think about how much profit you've lost, by doing that cake for a 'friend'.

I don't do cakes for money, because I'm too afraid someone will turn me in to the legal people of TX.

I'm considering contracts with family and friends just so they can't change stuff up at the last minute.

I hope she pays you.

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Melvira Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 3:59am
post #17 of 47

What kind of friend gives up an entire friendship over a cake? You're better off without that kind of friend. It sucks how people are SO ready to use and abuse anyone they can. So many people are all about "Whats in it for me?". Hard lesson learned, (I learned it the hard way too, unfortunately!) I hope the holidays are a little nicer to all of you who have put up with this crap.

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andrea7 Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 4:01am
post #18 of 47

I don't mean to be harsh or rude. After 21 years of making cakes people don't call me the day before they need something, they call me weeks ahead and they know they have to pay in advance. If I did get a call for the next day I would laugh and tell them they are too funny hint hint for next time. You need to be controlling the strings. You can be firm with a smile. Good luck to you!!!!

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cupcake_cutie Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 4:10am
post #19 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

What gets me is, do they expect.......

free groceries from their friend who runs the local grocery store?
free gas from their cousin who runs a gas station?
free car repairs from their uncle who runs a mechanic business?
free shoes from their friend who works in the shoe store?
free clothes from their aunt who sews?
free wedding dress from their friend who works in a bridal shop?
free prescriptions from the uncle who is a pharmacist?




Amen Indy! thumbs_up.gif

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Apti Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 4:54am
post #20 of 47

All you can do as a hobby baker is tell "whoever" (relative, friend, etc.) that you need to purchase the supplies needed to bake the cake. "The supplies will be $___. Since I need ___ (days/weeks) lead time I'll need you to give me the $___ by (date)."

Now that sounds really easy and reasonable, doesn't it? Of course. Yeah, right. My first request was about 3 weeks ago for a gingerbread house like the one I'd spent 15 hours decorating and donated to the kids' elementary school. One of the teacher's asked and I said it would be $50 for the supplies since this was a huge house and I needed lots of different candy. Do I get it up front??? Noooooo. She says, I'll have it for you after the weekend, is that ok? Do I say "No, and quote my advice above?"

So on Monday after I've just about killed myself running all over town getting the supplies, spending 10 hours on the house, no sleep, I deliver it at school and she hands me $45 and says, "I'll have to get the other $5 to you later". SHE CAN'T GET ANOTHER FREAKIN' MEASLY $5 !!!!!!!! The kids's are going on Christmas Vacation, and I have to come back for my $5!!!! Another teacher's assistant that I'm very friendly with, gave me the extra $5 due and said "I'll get it from her later".

The funny part is that I am one of the most self-possessed, level-headed, pragmatic, no nonsense business people in the world. Whew! I dodged a bullet, bad feelings, and worst: self-loathing for being stupid! Thank goodness it happened on my first request....

Whoops! Appears this touched a major nerve and I've gone on a rant. OK, OK, deep breath, it's Christmas...mustn't hit teacher on Christmas......

Jingle bells, Jingle bells....aaaah, feeling better now (Stupid teacher!!)

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Corrie76 Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 5:06am
post #21 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

What gets me is, do they expect.......

free groceries from their friend who runs the local grocery store?
free gas from their cousin who runs a gas station?
free car repairs from their uncle who runs a mechanic business?
free shoes from their friend who works in the shoe store?
free clothes from their aunt who sews?
free wedding dress from their friend who works in a bridal shop?
free prescriptions from the uncle who is a pharmacist?




The sad thing is...is that YES people who are moochers/users do expect all of thoses things from their "friends".

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drakegore Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 5:53am
post #22 of 47

I am so grateful for my friends; they never take advantage and are always so grateful when i make them a cake or cookies. When I force them to take free cake that I make out of love, they STILL find a way to "pay" me with gift certificates or money for supplies even though I tell them not to. I just thought I'd add my thoughts for all the good friends out there icon_smile.gif.
diane

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gscout73 Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 7:27am
post #23 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

What gets me is, do they expect.......

free groceries from their friend who runs the local grocery store?
free gas from their cousin who runs a gas station?
free car repairs from their uncle who runs a mechanic business?
free shoes from their friend who works in the shoe store?
free clothes from their aunt who sews?
free wedding dress from their friend who works in a bridal shop?
free prescriptions from the uncle who is a pharmacist?




Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes

Andif not free, then pretty darn close to free.

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Gefion Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 8:27am
post #24 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

What gets me is, do they expect.......

free groceries from their friend who runs the local grocery store?
free gas from their cousin who runs a gas station?
free car repairs from their uncle who runs a mechanic business?
free shoes from their friend who works in the shoe store?
free clothes from their aunt who sews?
free wedding dress from their friend who works in a bridal shop?
free prescriptions from the uncle who is a pharmacist?




You bet they do. I had a friend working retail, who was constantly asked by friends to not ring up their groceries, so they could get, say, 10 sodas for the price of 1 or expensive DVD's for free. So they basically asked this guy to steal and jeopardize his job. People are shameless in ways I could never imagine.

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indydebi Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 9:14am
post #25 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gefion

Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

What gets me is, do they expect.......

free groceries from their friend who runs the local grocery store?
free gas from their cousin who runs a gas station?
free car repairs from their uncle who runs a mechanic business?
free shoes from their friend who works in the shoe store?
free clothes from their aunt who sews?
free wedding dress from their friend who works in a bridal shop?
free prescriptions from the uncle who is a pharmacist?



You bet they do. I had a friend working retail, who was constantly asked by friends to not ring up their groceries, so they could get, say, 10 sodas for the price of 1 or expensive DVD's for free. So they basically asked this guy to steal and jeopardize his job. People are shameless in ways I could never imagine.


omg just when I think I've heard it all! icon_eek.gificon_surprised.gif

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Sangriacupcake Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 2:32pm
post #26 of 47

I'm a hobbyist, but I've done a few wedding cakes for deserving young couples who would have ended up with something from Costco otherwise...mostly military couples who want to get married before the groom ships out. So after one of these weddings, a friend of a friend calls and says, "I hear you just loooove doing cakes. Can I get one for my parents' 50th anniversary this weekend?"

icon_eek.gif

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neelycharmed Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 2:42pm
post #27 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

What gets me is, do they expect.......

free groceries from their friend who runs the local grocery store?
free gas from their cousin who runs a gas station?
free car repairs from their uncle who runs a mechanic business?
free shoes from their friend who works in the shoe store?
free clothes from their aunt who sews?
free wedding dress from their friend who works in a bridal shop?
free prescriptions from the uncle who is a pharmacist?




SO TRUE!!! thumbs_up.gif I have to remember that..
Jodi

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Apti Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 3:05pm
post #28 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sangriacupcake

I'm a hobbyist, but I've done a few wedding cakes for deserving young couples who would have ended up with something from Costco otherwise...mostly military couples who want to get married before the groom ships out. So after one of these weddings, a friend of a friend calls and says, "I hear you just loooove doing cakes. Can I get one for my parents' 50th anniversary this weekend?"

icon_eek.gif




So...what was your response to the friend of a friend? (I mean, after all,
"you just loooove doing cakes".)

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costumeczar Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 3:30pm
post #29 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCakeShak

How about when "the friend" wants a cake, calls at very last minute, doesn't even pick up cake, but sends "daddy" who comes and gets cake, but stands there and gives you an earful how "a friend shouldn't charge anything for a friend who needed a cake".
.




Are you serious that someone actually said this? What a loon! I'd have told "daddy" that a friend wouldn't try to take advantage of a real friend, so since they were trying to take advantage they weren't real friends, and their price just went up. Because they were getting the "friend" rate to begin with but they obviously aren't friends and they don't qualify for that rate anymore!

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YorkieMaMa Posted 24 Dec 2010 , 3:35pm
post #30 of 47

Why do people do this type of thing? I made a small baby shower cake for a coworker, price was discussed and I had emails to confirm what we talked about and the agreed price. When I brought the cake to work on the day I was supposed to, she made no mention of paying me. I waited one day and then sent the email with the agreed upon price and told her a check would be fine TODAY. She waited another whole day until I actually had to go and ask her for the money. I certainly didn't need the money, it wasn't much, but it was the idea of it all. You wouldn't go to Walmart without your check book, or to the gas station without cash or your credit card to pay for your gas. I almost feel like it she asks me again to make a cake, that I should bring it a day late and say, "Was TODAY the day I was to bring your cake, I completely forgot." But then that would make me as uncaring as she. Too bad that something so pleasant and wonderful as the joy of making cakes can turn out to be unpleasant.

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