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The Nerve Of FRIENDS....

post #1 of 46
12/23/10 at 8:25am
Thread Starter 
I just so need to vent, I have my cake business in my home and a job outside of my home. I sometimes think the in home business sucks because some think they can call at 9 PM. Anyways I had a friend call last Sat night late and needed a cake, fine... She asked if I could drop it off on my way to work OK. So I get there this morning her daughter answers the door, holding back this gigantic dog who is now jumping on me while I stand in the door cake in hand, her daughter tells me her mom is still in bed.. Really ya knew I was coming. I don't care if you were up late so was I and I still had to get up to finish things and be to work by 8:30.
So mom get up and we talk for a while I'm running late now, she asked how much she owed me I told her and she tells me she will put my check in the mail REALLY ... I just dropped off this cake waited for you to get out of bed and your going to put my check in the mail.. FRIENDS
So on my way home from work I am going to stop at the store and do my shopping for my Christmas dinner and when I get everything checked out and bagged I am goint to tell the clerk the check will be in the mail...WTF Yep I'm just a little upset I would never do that to anyone Tis the Season
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post #2 of 46
12/23/10 at 8:41am
Next time, take the cake, turn and start walking away. Tell her when you get the money she gets the cake.

I'm not one to give into negativity and assume the worst about people, but if she couldn't take a minute to write out the check in her own home, I have a feeling you will have a hard time getting that money.

People will treat you how you let them. Don't let them walk all over you!
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post #3 of 46
12/23/10 at 8:44am
Sorry that had to happen...I had a co-worker ask if there was an invoice in the box of cookies I just made for her and if she could just be billed, lol. I just clung to my box of cookies and said that as soon as I got a check or cash in hand I'd hand over the cookies. She wrote me a check- but then asked that I wait til pay-day to deposit...thankfully it cleared the bank!
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"I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake." Mitch Hedberg
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post #4 of 46
12/23/10 at 9:07am
I'm with Texas - why did she need to mail you a check when you were standing right there? She should have told you she didn't have the money when she ordered the cake or asked if she could pay you later. I hate when people just blatantly take advantage of others.
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Our chronic flaw is partiality of judgement: we exaggerate the wrongs done to ourselves, and underestimate the wrongs we inflict on others - unknown
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post #5 of 46
12/23/10 at 9:29am
Im with texassugar
Quote:
Quote:

but if she couldn't take a minute to write out the check in her own home
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post #6 of 46
12/23/10 at 9:37am
That is so frustrating! I would be upset as well!

I made my BEST FRIENDS sons first birthday cake and they came to pick it up while I was out so my husband handled it. When I got home he told me they didn't pay and had just left. Well we then attend the party and she still never paid. 3 months later she deletes me off of facebook and by this time I am beyond being polite and demand my money. She actually did end up sending the check but she claims she wrote the check the day of and just forgot. Never again!
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post #7 of 46
12/23/10 at 9:50am
See that's the nice thing about being in [i]business[/i], rather than a hobbyist. I have to account for everything coming in and all products going out and the income associated with them.

In [i]business[/i], there's money in my Paypal account before the cake gets made.

Period.

I don't care who you are or who you know.
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Answers to the most often asked questions re: SPS. SPS instructions are on Page 15 of the Sticky at the top of the Cake Decorating Forum. Supplies can be ordered from Oasis Supply, Global or BakeryCrafts.
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post #8 of 46
12/23/10 at 4:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by leah_s

See that's the nice thing about being in business, rather than a hobbyist. I have to account for everything coming in and all products going out and the income associated with them.

In business, there's money in my Paypal account before the cake gets made.

Period.

I don't care who you are or who you know.



Thats a really good idea. Friends and family are the ones that tend to take advantage of you the most. I made a cake for a friend and she paid me but then her check bounced and my bank took the money out and charged me for the check!! Never again. I realized if I want to be treated like a professional, I have to start acting like one! thumbs_up.gif
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post #9 of 46
12/23/10 at 5:19pm
Ever notice too, how "you" end up being the bad guy in all of this? The people who pull this nonense are also the ones who bad mouth you for being so pushy about getting paid, and how it's all your fault the friendship ended over a measly "$ fill in the amount". They seem to forget that they are the ones who tossed the friendship out the window over that measly amount.
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"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
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post #10 of 46
12/23/10 at 5:50pm
You can often prevent those kinds of situations by telling the person how much it'll be when you make the arrangements to deliver it.

I always tell them, "It'll be $xx.xx, and if you'll have the check ready for me when I deliver it, we can make the switch and I will still be able to make it to work on time." or something like that. That way, you're telling them what they need to do to get their cake, not asking.

If you're going to wait until delivery to get your money, you need to set a very clear expectation up-front that they HAVE to pay you for the cake when you deliver it.
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post #11 of 46
12/23/10 at 5:57pm
Ok, here you go with this one.... it's sorta on the same topic, but might get slightly turned...
How about when "the friend" wants a cake, calls at very last minute, doesn't even pick up cake, but sends "daddy" who comes and gets cake, but stands there and gives you an earful how "a friend shouldn't charge anything for a friend who needed a cake".
And then "the friend" doesn't even have the politeness to even tell you if they got the cake, if it was in one piece, if they liked the creation on it, or if it tasted like cardboard.
Instead, what you get is a box of crumbs from the friend who felt it was ok to just walk all over a friend and think they were "entitled" to free cake at your expense.

That's why if "my friends" want cake from me, then they have to pay first before any creations start.
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post #12 of 46
12/23/10 at 6:04pm
Well...what are best friends for.....! To take advantage of you..........NOT.

Sorry that happened. I think we have all been in that boat once or twice..but we soon learn, and cownsj is right..."we end up being the bad guy because we want to be paid".
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post #13 of 46
12/23/10 at 6:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCakeShak

How about when "the friend" wants a cake, calls at very last minute, doesn't even pick up cake, but sends "daddy" who comes and gets cake, but stands there and gives you an earful how "a friend shouldn't charge anything for a friend who needed a cake".



You've got to be kidding?!!!? Not that I'm doubting your story- but really! Who the heck says that to someone they hired to produce a lovely cake? I love baking cakes but no one NEEDS a cake. Yes, they are a great food item to have for a celebration. If you can't afford to pay for a cake, than you either bake it yourself (like people did in prior generations) or provide a dessert that you can afford. He was way out of line talking to you like that. I'd hate to have his nerve in my tooth. Did "daddy" also tell the grocery clerk that they shouldn't charge for the food because she needed it?

cownsj's comment that, "we're the bad guys for insisting on being paid" is too true. Sad but true.

live2create- you do lovely work and your "friend" should be happy that you agreed to make her a cake. I can't imagine doing that to someone. I hate to owe anyone a penny. I hope that the check does come soon and clears. I would probably be booked if she ever asked for another cake. icon_twisted.gif
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Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts.
Charles Dickens
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post #14 of 46
12/23/10 at 6:56pm
I totally understand your frustration. Been there...I had a friend ask me to make her child's Bday cake. It was a last minute request...so she left design up to me. She didn't say anything about price. But I made sure that I didn't make an extravagant cake. We were invited to the party so i brought it with me. When we got there..she didn't pay me. But I didn't think anything about it..the party was in full swing. But when we were ready to leave and we said goodbye..I mentioned I would drop by her house so she could pay me. She looked shocked...asked me why? I told her I don't do this for free..it takes a lot of time, money and effort. She says oh well I thought we were friends and you would just be doing this out of friendship...WHAT? It would be one thing if I had offered..but I didn't she asked me!...I was furious! Then she says well that's more than I can spend. I told her she could pay me in payments. But I did get paid. And told her if we are going to be friends she should have talked to me about her intentions.
I learned a lesson..talk price when they ask you about doing a cake. I always ask for their budget.
I would have told her..no check...no cake. And walked away. Your time is just as valuable as anyone elses.
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post #15 of 46
12/23/10 at 7:07pm
What gets me is, do they expect.......

free groceries from their friend who runs the local grocery store?
free gas from their cousin who runs a gas station?
free car repairs from their uncle who runs a mechanic business?
free shoes from their friend who works in the shoe store?
free clothes from their aunt who sews?
free wedding dress from their friend who works in a bridal shop?
free prescriptions from the uncle who is a pharmacist?
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