LOL....

So I made a wedding cake last year for someone...my "signature" chocolate cake with various types of whipped ganache fillings and a toasted marshmallow icing, for "s'mores".

This year the MOB writes me, being a pastry chef herself, telling me she just cannot for the life of her reproduce the texture and flavor of my delicious cake and she's hoping I will share with her my recipe for the cake and the filling.

Ummmmm....lets see...do I go to the local diner and ask them for their recipe for their signature dessert? haha....

So I was really nice but I told her surely she would understand that I cannot give out my recipe, especially considering the fact I feel that the particular chocolate cake in question is my "signature" flavor. I thanked her though and said I was glad she enjoyed the cake enough to ask.

She didn't reply. *shrug*

Really? Did she think I'd just send it off to her or something???? Like, her being a pastry chef entitles her to my recipes? Too funny.

Haha, well I did that one time with a BC recipe!:] I figured the shoppe wouldn't give it to me but they did! I viewed it like... well what have I to lose? If they give it to me great if not oh well at least I asked instead of thinking "wonder if they'd have given it to me. Consider it a compliment!

It doesn't hurt to ask does it?? I'd take it as a HUGE compliment. Perception.

This is an interesting topic, since I fell in love with something called Possum Pie while visiting Arkansas a few months ago. This one particular restaurant was known for their pies, and I can't get that one out of my mind. Sure, I can google recipes, but they will never be like THAT ONE. 5 states away, I have no intention of ever going there again and I am certainly no competition, but I want that pie recipe! So it's a faux-pas to call and ask for it?

I get asked this a lot for our buttercream recipe. We use my grandma's recipe and although I think it is simple enough, even when we have given it to people, they don't seem to get it right. I usually tell them "Sorry, its a treasured family recipe" I think most people understand but are of the mindset "Can't hurt to ask".

kger - I would ask for the pie recipe - sometimes those places have their own cookbook - I know I bought one in Staunton, VA when I had a baked tomato casserole I really enjoyed.

I asked for a to-die-for Mexican Chocolate Torte recipe at a top Santa Fe hotel last year, and the waitress returned with a copy of the hotel's recipe - 20 eggs and all! I was absolutely thrilled, and have scaled and used the recipe many times for dinner parties. The funny thing is that other people that I've given it to cannot make it come out right. Go figure...

I have a few, simple recipes that I'm known for. I don't share them with anyone, except my children - who are first sworn to secrecy and made to practice saying - it's an old family recipe and my mother would KILL me if I shared it outside the family :>) The secrecy seems to make everyone enjoy making and eating the dishes even more.

Funny thing. I have been asked for my "signature" recipe from a family member, after my daughters birthday. She just wants it for herself versus asking me to make it for her, which I would do gladly if she asked. But she keeps harrassing me everytime we are at a family gathering, like saying "you really aren't gonna give me the recipe?" ugh "No" not only does she want the cake recipe but she wants the buttercream one as well.

I know it may sound petty not to give it to her, but I already had a bad experience once before. I shared my strawberry cheesecake recipe with her, that I would always make around the Holiday's and gift to those "elderly" family members that have everything already. Well guess what she did, she did the same exact thing the following year.

So she is not getting my recipe no matter what.

kger I would ask! The worst they can say is no, right?! At least you've asked so you're not wondering if they would have given it to you had you asked.

I have had several customers ask me about my signature icing I use for all my cakes...and cookie recipes and want to know if I will give it out..I made the mistake of giving out the NFSC recipe to a customer and guess what...she is no longer a customer so I no longer give things out!!They come to me to make them a cake they can't get anywhere else so why would I give them the recipe to go home and make it and never order from me again...

Yes, you'd be surprised what places will give you recipes. It never hurts to ask. I've had a high end steak place give me their side dish recipe. I thought, no way this is real. But I went home and made it and it was!
Sure, some won't share and it's their right, but ask away. Just know some people will get uppity and don't take it wrong.

I never ask people because I know I don't like when people ask me!

My response is always "I make it in such large quantities, I couldn't give you the exact recipe for a personal batch." Then I start rattling out ingredients but never amounts - they usually give up after that

Whenever I am asked for a cake recipe I always explain that it is in the list of cakes I sell and therefore I really don't give them away. After all, I paid for the place where I bake at, my license, occupational license and insurance. It was hard earned and I do not need someone who never buys from me benefiting from my tweeked recipes. In other words, don't give them out.
evelyn

You have to marry into our family to get some of my mother's recipes, and that's a pretty steep price to pay. Don't even THINK about divorcing after you get it. Mom would get Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith to delete the recipe from your memory bank.

Frankly I am not sure what you are upset about. So a competitor asked if she could have your recipe---and? At what point did she indicate that she thought she was, as you put it, "entitled" to your recipe? What precisley makes you think she thought she was entitled to your recipe? Simply because she asked? Never ceases to amaze me that people prefer to assume the worst about others.

" I guess I should really write it all down someday. It's stored where I can't lose it, in my brain." " I want to pass it to my children someday" "I make it a little different everytime" "yes, it IS a national secret"

If you don't feel comfortable, then don't. Sharing is nice but it's your baby. She needs to respect you for that.

It's a huge pat on the back when someone asks me for a recipe, but then again it's an even bigger pat on the back and a ring in the register when they buy the product.

For now I'm enjoying the ring of the register!

The only recipe I have that I don't give out is my Buttercream recipe. Anything else is fair game. Mom has a copy of the Buttercream recipe at her house but she has NEVER made it. She just calls me when she wants more.

If you are making it and selling it, and especially if it's your signature flavor, I can understand not wanting to give it out. What I don't understand are the folks that have a signature dish (cake, main course, side dish, candy, cookie or whatever) and they refuse to share the recipe before they die. Why take it to the grave with ya? What's to be gained by that? They should be passed on eventually.

I don't give out my business recipes but am happy to give friends and family any other food recipe that I make.

When someone asks a pointed question that I do not wish to answer, I give a vague or evasive answer.
"So, when are you going to start having babies?" (That was a LONG time ago.)
"When we're ready." It shut 'em up every time. But, some people would answer that question with facts and figures.
"How much did you pay for that?"
"Gee, I'm really not comfortable answering that question."
Whatever your position, you do not have to tell people anything you don't want to, recipe or otherwise. This tell-all game show/reality TV mentality drives me nuts. Discretion is a beautiful thing.

I got my cheesecake recipe years ago from a member here who specializes in them. She traded it for one of my vegan cake recipes. I was a little surprised that she was so willing to do that. I mentioned that to her and she said that while she was giving me the ingredients list and amounts she wasnt giving me the brand names of the ingredients she used. As we all know that makes a HUGE difference in how the end product will turn out.

Since then I havent been too worried about giving out my recipes. I do just as that baker did with me and just give ingredients and amounts. My SIL has my recipe for chocolate cake and has never been able to reproduce it correctly. She is convinced that I gave her a faulty recipe on purpose but its the real one. I just failed to mention that I use the more expensive name brand ingredients (and some I make myself) and shes been using the cheaper store brands. She may figure it out but probably not I'm not worried though.

Now if it were some super secret family recipe traded down through the generations, I'd keep that one to myself. Unless it was like the recipe one of my BFF's had for her grandmother's "famous" hash brown casserole. It was famously awesome and she went on and on about how it was a big secret, shed have to kill me if she told me etc etc. Then I saw the stupid thing on the side of a Campbells soup can one day. Psssshaw, secret family recipe my stinky big toe. I make it every.single.time we have a potluck too.

I have asked for the recipe for a side dish I had at a local restaurant. They wouldnt give it to me and I have never been able to find it online. One of my husbands best friends is a chef and I even went so far as to ask him to see if he could track it down for me. No luck. There are all kinds of at home recipes floating around out there but I dont want that one. I want the real deal and apparently that isnt available. Thats okay, Ill keep asking around. Cant hurt to try.

now kit.. that is just unacceptable. You should have shared your recipe with the lady.. signature or not.. it would go something like this..

ingredients:
add 2 or maybe 3 cups of flour... just eye it by your many years of cake experience

add 3 eggs whites if you want.. or yolks too if you want to accomplish... but what am I telling you for.. you know this info based on your experience.

add milk or water.. use your best judgement based on your many years of cake experience.

now for ganache:

chose the chocolate based on your taste preference and what you are trying to accomplish.. based on your many trial and errors to perfect the technique.. you shouldnt have a problem.

See kit, you could have been generous and shared your recipe.

I sort of understand what all of you are saying, and I am sure you will not agree with me, but ... what's the harm in sharing them? Any recipe, with its thousand variations, can be either researched or found in a cookbook somewhere! In my experience, I have found that the more you give, be it your time, your help, your recipes, the more you are going to get! If I give a recipe away .. guess what? I find or I'm given ten others that I have wanted for years! And it never fails. Your generosity, even if it is a "family recipe" from which you make money, will come back to you a thousandfold. Try it! And yes, I know ... it's yours. But it isn't, is it? Because last I heard, God made the chickens that made the eggs, and the wheat that made the flour and the canes that made the sugar ... And even if it was you who made the perfect combination of those ingredients ... big deal!

I have the perfect brownie recipe - in order to get the right combination of ingredients, I had to experiment with 29 combinations. Yes - 29. But it's to die for. EVERYBODY I know asks for it. I have copies made in 5 X 8 cards because every time I make them, at least 10 people ask for them. And still, the more I give the recipe away, the more orders I get for the brownies. Go figure! But that's just me!

I sort of understand what all of you are saying, and I am sure you will not agree with me, but ... what's the harm in sharing them? Any recipe, with its thousand variations, can be either researched or found in a cookbook somewhere! In my experience, I have found that the more you give, be it your time, your help, your recipes, the more you are going to get! If I give a recipe away .. guess what? I find or I'm given ten others that I have wanted for years! And it never fails. Your generosity, even if it is a "family recipe" from which you make money, will come back to you a thousandfold. Try it! And yes, I know ... it's yours. But it isn't, is it? Because last I heard, God made the chickens that made the eggs, and the wheat that made the flour and the canes that made the sugar ... And even if it was you who made the perfect combination of those ingredients ... big deal!

I have the perfect brownie recipe - in order to get the right combination of ingredients, I had to experiment with 29 combinations. Yes - 29. But it's to die for. EVERYBODY I know asks for it. I have copies made in 5 X 8 cards because every time I make them, at least 10 people ask for them. And still, the more I give the recipe away, the more orders I get for the brownies. Go figure! But that's just me!

Mmmm want to share that recipe on here EllieA? Sounds gooooood ^_^

Yummy brownies

I love Stoby's! Mmm. cheese dip. There is also one in Conway. Patticakes is part Stoby's but operates seperately across the street from them. patticakesbakery .net

Years ago (before we used computers everyday) I met Earlene Moore at an ICES convention...my first convention. I was surprised at what an open book she was, recipes, how to, she answered every question, shared everything she had.

While I have learned alot from Earlene, her generosity and sharing proved to be a valuable lesson for me. (Now you can find her recipes, etc. on her website at www.earlenescakes.com...she has all sorts of good information posted.) Because of her I made a commitment to share my knowledge (very limited at the time) as well.

7 years ago we had a shop fire that destroyed among other things my recipe book. Everything we offered (recipe) was in that book. Because I shared my recipes I was able to get them back.

Minette

Wow okay I know the next hot button issue to avoid on CC.

I'm pretty generous helping people and giving tips and stuff....I'm only tight lipped about one or two recipes, and one of those is my chocolate one (although I have given it out to a couple people who were not my customers.)

I'm sorry that my original post evidently came across as harsh and mean...although I could say the same for one or two posters in this thread as well.

No need to continue this discussion, at least not on my part.