Diane,
I love to help too and if this girl wanted help I'd be happy to do so, so would my daughter (tho' she admits this is above her skill level so she'd be less than helpful). But the only thing she wanted was to know what was the best mix to use, which canned frosting and what was my MMF recipe. She doesn't want any other help. Her answer was "Oh, it doesn't look too hard, I can do it myself" when offered the help even tho' she's never baked anything in her life. But yes, I always try to help, give tips, answer any questions that anyone asks...that's how I learn things...am still learning things on here.
Cat
AMEN, Sister!!!
[quote="Vkandis"]From a pedagogical perspective it was terrible--
Huh?
also please forgive me....i have sinned....i use canned frosting..under MMF too 
..lord have mercy on my soul 
also please forgive me....i have sinned....i used canned frosting....lord have mercy on my soul
Oh, GOD FORBID!! You must NEVER post on CC again!!
I NEVER use anything with SUGAR, sugar substitutes or HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP either! or bleached flour, wheat, or ...
okay, i'm done. (I'm evidently having too much fun)
LOVE YOU GUYS!
I NEVER use anything with SUGAR, sugar substitutes or HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP either! or bleached flour, wheat, or ...
okay, i'm done. (I'm evidently having too much fun)
LOVE YOU GUYS!
Don't make me come over there. 
Thwack!
I NEVER use anything with SUGAR, sugar substitutes or HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP either! or bleached flour, wheat, or ...
okay, i'm done. (I'm evidently having too much fun)
LOVE YOU GUYS!
Don't make me come over there.
Thwack!
MUAH!!!
oh for crying out loud just let her do the darn cake. Who cares that she just wanted info on the frosting, mix, and MMF. Maybe she will surprise you! Maybe she is secretely looking up tips online, but wants people to think she did it all on her own! Who knows! I don't see why it is a concern of the original poster. It's not our job as decorators to tuck someone under our wing that doesn't want to be there. I don't think it's meant as an insult-I think she just wants to try on her own. Good grief and let the woman cake how she wants to!
oh for crying out loud just let her do the darn cake. Who cares that she just wanted info on the frosting, mix, and MMF. Maybe she will surprise you! Maybe she is secretely looking up tips online, but wants people to think she did it all on her own! Who knows! I don't see why it is a concern of the original poster. It's not our job as decorators to tuck someone under our wing that doesn't want to be there. I don't think it's meant as an insult-I think she just wants to try on her own. Good grief and let the woman cake how she wants to!
Yeah that's what I've Been trying to say except it took me longer lol
oh for crying out loud just let her do the darn cake. Who cares that she just wanted info on the frosting, mix, and MMF. Maybe she will surprise you! Maybe she is secretely looking up tips online, but wants people to think she did it all on her own! Who knows! I don't see why it is a concern of the original poster. It's not our job as decorators to tuck someone under our wing that doesn't want to be there. I don't think it's meant as an insult-I think she just wants to try on her own. Good grief and let the woman cake how she wants to!
This girl has done this before...with her baby shower. She refused the free help (we are an event company as well) and then when her shower didn't turn out well, and she attended one the next week that we did work and it was wonderful she actually looked at us and said "oh, guess I should have accepted your help so my shower could have been like this one". Now she's doing it with the 1st b'day cake and, yup, you guessed it, I'm doing the cake for the other baby's 1st b'day the week after. I actually KNOW this girl..she is not a stranger, I've played with her baby and actually know what's going on in her life. She's just stubborn and tends to wonder why things don't ever go right for her...might be cause she never accepts help when it's offered? So why do we care about her? Because she's in our "circle" and we care about those in our circle and want only the best for them...and it's hard to watch her put herself into a bad situation when we could help her SO easily if she just accepted the help. Just like it was hard to attend her baby shower and her disappointment on the day of her shower and her dismay and disappointment about her own shower when she saw the other girls shower that we did work the week after and it's going to be hard to attend this party knowing what she wanted. No, I don't know for absolutely certain that this will fail but I know that if I tried Diane's horse cake chances are it would be an epic fail and look nothing like what Diane's does because it's wildly above my ability...so the chances of this being an epic fail are about 99-1..and I know this because I know what her abilities in the kitchen are. And, yes, I CARE that she's setting herself up for heartbreak...I'd be a ruthless shrew if I didn't.
BTW...no one is keeping her from doing this to herself. We gave her our offers to help, warned her it's much hard than it looks and let her go. It's not like we are lecturing her on the fact that we "know" she can't do it so she shouldn't even try or trying to break down her confidence or anything. Not at all. We set out our offers and warnings and are "letting" her do what she wants to do. It's just hard to watch.
Cat
oh for crying out loud just let her do the darn cake. Who cares that she just wanted info on the frosting, mix, and MMF. Maybe she will surprise you! Maybe she is secretely looking up tips online, but wants people to think she did it all on her own! Who knows! I don't see why it is a concern of the original poster. It's not our job as decorators to tuck someone under our wing that doesn't want to be there. I don't think it's meant as an insult-I think she just wants to try on her own. Good grief and let the woman cake how she wants to!
This girl has done this before...with her baby shower. She refused the free help (we are an event company as well) and then when her shower didn't turn out well, and she attended one the next week that we did work and it was wonderful she actually looked at us and said "oh, guess I should have accepted your help so my shower could have been like this one". Now she's doing it with the 1st b'day cake and, yup, you guessed it, I'm doing the cake for the other baby's 1st b'day the week after. I actually KNOW this girl..she is not a stranger, I've played with her baby and actually know what's going on in her life. She's just stubborn and tends to wonder why things don't ever go right for her...might be cause she never accepts help when it's offered? So why do we care about her? Because she's in our "circle" and we care about those in our circle and want only the best for them...and it's hard to watch her put herself into a bad situation when we could help her SO easily if she just accepted the help. Just like it was hard to attend her baby shower and her disappointment on the day of her shower and her dismay and disappointment about her own shower when she saw the other girls shower that we did work the week after and it's going to be hard to attend this party knowing what she wanted. No, I don't know for absolutely certain that this will fail but I know that if I tried Diane's horse cake chances are it would be an epic fail and look nothing like what Diane's does because it's wildly above my ability...so the chances of this being an epic fail are about 99-1..and I know this because I know what her abilities in the kitchen are. And, yes, I CARE that she's setting herself up for heartbreak...I'd be a ruthless shrew if I didn't.
BTW...no one is keeping her from doing this to herself. We gave her our offers to help, warned her it's much hard than it looks and let her go. It's not like we are lecturing her on the fact that we "know" she can't do it so she shouldn't even try or trying to break down her confidence or anything. Not at all. We set out our offers and warnings and are "letting" her do what she wants to do. It's just hard to watch.
Cat
Why not see If you can help her to the practice cake so when she does the real deal she will no what to expect. Or tell her to call you if she has any question or trouble maybe tell her to practice on a dummie cake with store bought fondant I'm assuming duffs fondant can't be as bad tasting at Wilton but it is over priced for what u can make on your own. Also make her aware that she needs to start days in advance with everything give help with out her knowing it actual help. She might be trying to do something almost as nice but cheaper because money is tight these day. She might not want you to help because she knows you are busy and doesn't want to tie you up. Or if she is anything like I am she might get stressed easy and doesn't like people in the kitchen while she bakes. But if you offered her help and she says no all u can do is say okay and let her do it and let her learn the hard way atleast you tried
Paige,
We've offered all of that. I'm hoping that either she sees how expensive it is to embark on this expedition and calls us for help or an alternative idea or if she has real problems this weekend she'll call us but the help has been offered...so it's in her court. As for being flustered while baking..she's never baked a thing in her life so she has no idea what this is going to be like. So our offers are out there...shoot, I'd squeeze in a cake for her at the last minute if she really needs it...but the ball is in her court now. We'll see how it goes. One of the issues is that she is on a limited budget and thinks she's going to be able to do this cake for like $40. Now if she had all the equipment necessary I'd say sure...you could possibly, if you already had some of this stuff in stock, do it for $40...but she has nothing..no pans,spatulas, piping bags, tips, dowels...well you get the point. SIGH...just hard to watch someone you care about go down this path.
Cat
Maybe you can direct her to the grocery store where you can get undecorated, iced rounds to take home and finish. I did this when I was teaching my younger sister because I didn't have ANY spare time to make a cake myself (or the patience since I was just teaching decorating and not baking). I believe I got a yummy 8 inch round for about 14 bucks. Maybe that could be a good alternative-that way she has a nicely iced cake that only needs decorations added.
Bagunts-I totally understand. I left cake central for 8 months after seeing some newbies treated poorly and at that point I was a newbie myself. Cake central can be a great resource, but it is also a public forum with many types of people and not all of us are helpful and generous with our knowledge. Back then it was like I expected everyone to be cheerful and helpful and happy, but the world just aint like that LOL Just take this place for what it is-most of the time wonderful, but some times snippety and petty. Don't ever let something discourage you 
We all have our moments after all hehe
It's posts like this that make newbies apprehensive about asking the "professionals".. didn't you start somewhere? Didn't you have questions?
Please don't feel that way! Most everyone here will always help, as much as they can (without looking and judging your photos) They are really a great bunch of cakers! Sometimes we just all need to vent, and this is usually a good place to do that too!
It's posts like this that make newbies apprehensive about asking the "professionals".. didn't you start somewhere? Didn't you have questions?
Ok, did you read all the way thru these posts? Because if you did you'd have found out that I offered her ALL SORTS of help but she doesn't want it. She thinks what I do professionally is EASY and CHEAP and she, who hasn't even ever baked a cake, needs NO HELP at all. All my daughter and I have been trying to do is HELP her with this and she doesn't want it.
Once you hang out here awhile you'll notice that I help everyone I can, no matter what the issue, no matter what skill level and am certainly not above asking for help for myself...as I am still learning as well.
No where in any of the posts have I said I wouldn't help her..nowhere in any of the posts have I said she shouldn't make a cake for her daughter...all I have said is that she should start at a beginners level and accept help since she knows absolutely nothing about baking anything. We are more than willing to help her but her attitude is that it's so cheap and easy she'll have no problem doing it herself. So guess, what...just like anyone else who is determiend to do something with no help and no experience we are "letting" her have her way.
Now you may wonder why I'm a bit short tempered? It's because, despite offers from us, despite others in her circle telling her as gently as they could that perhaps the cake she has in mind may be a little too ambitious for her very first cake, she is even more determined today to do this cake and bragging even more that "well, they make cakes like this every week, how hard can it be...I can do this!"...so yes, I'm a bit insulted...I'm very worried about how this is, very publically, going to go down. And so far all I've been accused of is being ungenerous, unhelpful and critical of her which is as far from the truth as can be. I have very high ethics and she's accusing me of pretty much trying to bilk people out of money with her "they charge HUNDREDS for a cake I can do for just a few dollars" so yes...it's insulting. Being told here that I'm being a condescending professional, unhelpful and critical is even more insulting and hopefully those who do know me around here after the last year I've been here will back me up on the fact that that description is far from who I am.
I rarely get angry but after reading a forwarded email from my other daughter from this girl followed by the posts here...yup, angry is the word for it. Being maligned and misunderstood can make the most patient of people very angry.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go read the forums and see if there is someone I can actually help.
Cat
I understand it was a vent.. Sometimes I'm shy or sheepish to ask a question that I feel like everyone already knows so I figured this would be a good place, but I have seen a few not so nice posts.. not referring to this one, but I was thinking to myself why bother even ask if you are going to get attacked.. Most the time I just read other people's posts and hope to learn from them. I do understand the type of person you are referring to about your daughters friend and I do understand that would be frustrating. But hey.. we're all friends here! 
Hey that is a good frigging idea about buying an already made cake when I want to practice!! Da da duhhh why didn't I think of that. That's a good idea if you can't tell lol. And to Cat the OP if you offered your help that's really all you can do and yea to get the stuff needed is way more than 40 my kit with all my stuff in it like tips bags and all that way 100 by it's self not including all the extra stuff it didn't have. But since she Is your friends and you are worried about it turning out bad why don't you bake her something small or do what the other person said buy an already baked cake and just add to it and give it to her if her cake doesn't turn out. I'm sure if her cake is not so great she will be thankful.
Paige,
I'm so hoping she'll come to us for help after her trial run...I am worried her confidence is going to be crushed and that makes me sad. We are both happy to help her any way we can.
I had to laugh about the prebaked cake....I ended up doing that one fourth of July about ten years back...I was supposed to bring a cake to my dh's boss's house for a party and the cake I made just fell and was doughy and basically disgusting and suddenly I didn't have a cake to take. BUT his boss was all about me bringing one of MY cakes...uh oh. So I had my dh run to the store, pick up a cake and bring it back home. I scraped off their frosting and decorated it all up. Skip to the party where his boss, cake in hand, looks at me and says "wow, the cake looked amazing but, hey, sorry to say it wasn't your best tasting cake...don't feel bad...we all have bad days" LOL! Bless my dh...he never said a word! LOL!
Cat
Cat, you wanna borrow my sword and go battle some windmills?
Hugs to you dear, sweet one. Your heart is SO in the right place.
Did I mention how I adore you? Thanx for the support...as one who knows me here...I do appreciate it.
Cat
Carlharper - I just want to say that I know you are one that is ALWAYS willing to help us "less than professionals". Every time I have a question it seems the same people step up to offer their wisdom, and you are one of them. I appreciate you guys so much. It gives me confidence to try something new when I have been helped along by some real pros, whom I may have never even met, but somehow are my support system!!! So THANKS!!!!
I think as I read more of what you are saying cat I really see the point you are making the first post you had kinda sounded like you were mad at the fact she wanted to do it herself but I see it was she thinks anybody can do with no problems then charge out the butt for it. Which if you are only charging by the slice then u are still cutting yourself short because of time spent on and lord knows unless you can do a cake in a few hours including bake time it takes a while atleast for me anyways. It's like she disrespected your talent I guess would be the right words but that's not how it read in the op or atleast that's how I read it. Anyways when I'm wrong so I was wrong I'm sorry although I wasn't trying to attack anybody in any of my post by means I just had an opinion that I couldn't keep to my self.
wow. i think this post was taken wayyyy outta hand! as the title suggests, this was a vent post. let the woman vent! ha.
im a newbie too, my first ever cake decorating attempt was for my sons 1st bday.. and it was a tragic disaster. and i still shudder thinking about it... oh dear. lol.
now, ive only been decorating for a bit, and i still know noting, but ive had people ask for "advice" too. only they dont really ask.. they EXPECT. and thats what gets to me... here on cc, we come here to ask and answer questions, so its ok to see a post "help how dod i do this" coz thats what we are here for. but i thinks its a totoally different ball game when it with people you know and they just start hounding you for how you do everything. i find it quite rude. i mean, i put days of work and weeks of research into my cakes so yes, i sure do take offence when someone i barely know or do know starts berrating me for how i do this and that. makes me feel like crap basically. like, oh yeah, thats good, but i bet it didnt take any effort and i could do better..
im not sure if that made much sense or got my point across.. but hey.. i tried.
I don't know..... I read the whole thing and I think that went a little bit far, but if I write everything that I am thinking, probably some would take out their guns.
Cat: My opinion is that you don't need to give more explanation. You make your point clear and you are free of say everything you want, if you don't offend with what you are saying, and you didn't. (is your Constitutional right)
"Your rights ends where mine begins."
P.S. I ALWAYS receive help fron CC when I need it. Thanks girls for been part of my success!!!! 
I'm with you on the 'help me, no, I mean don't HELP me, tell me that I'm right" thing
Sometimes people don't want help, they just want you to tell them what they want to hear. Any attempt at helping in a real way is either ignored or called "mean." A lot of decorators who really know what they're doing have left this site because you can't win...
And I hate to say it, but sometimes the best help you can give someone is to tell them that they need more practice!
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