Does Anyone Else Deal With Self Doubt?
Business By pinkpiggie78 Updated 15 Jul 2010 , 3:06am by ChunkkeeMunkkee
What made this whole thing worse was my most recent wedding cake (shamrocks and ivy)... I was REALLY pleased with it, especially considering it was the first wedding cake I have done since I had my baby. However, when I delivered it, neither the bride nor the mother of the bride said anything. The bride said thank you, but that was it. She designed the thing! Even when the mom returned the cake plateau, she only told me that other said it was the best cake they ever had. Nothing about how it looked. I even gave them a deal since it was something different from what I have done in the past.
What made this whole thing worse was my most recent wedding cake (shamrocks and ivy)... I was REALLY pleased with it, especially considering it was the first wedding cake I have done since I had my baby. However, when I delivered it, neither the bride nor the mother of the bride said anything. The bride said thank you, but that was it. She designed the thing! Even when the mom returned the cake plateau, she only told me that other said it was the best cake they ever had. Nothing about how it looked. I even gave them a deal since it was something different from what I have done in the past.
that's not you.
That's them.
called lack of good manners!
I think thats normal-I'm definitely a perfectionist and since I still consider myself pretty inexperienced I nag myself all the time. I can be happy with a cake, but as soon as its delivered/eaten I start thinking what could I have added? What was it missing? etc...
Just always do your best and then you can always tell yourself that.
What made this whole thing worse was my most recent wedding cake (shamrocks and ivy)... I was REALLY pleased with it, especially considering it was the first wedding cake I have done since I had my baby. However, when I delivered it, neither the bride nor the mother of the bride said anything. The bride said thank you, but that was it. She designed the thing! Even when the mom returned the cake plateau, she only told me that other said it was the best cake they ever had. Nothing about how it looked. I even gave them a deal since it was something different from what I have done in the past.
that's not you.
That's them.
called lack of good manners!
or just complete and total negligence! just think of how preoccupied they must have been, mentally...I'm sure all the bride was thinking about was herself (rightfully so) and wasn't considering your feelings...having said that I would also be anticipating the compliments and doubting myself if I didn't recv any....just look at it from her perspective and shrug it off
I hate when I don't get a "Wow, it's so amazing" type comment. It makes me self-conscious. BUT, I noticed on CakeBoss that often when Buddy delivers a cake, the people are like smiling and thankful but not always open-mouthed and gushing compliments. It does happen if they are the expressive type but many, many people are reserved with their praise.
What made this whole thing worse was my most recent wedding cake (shamrocks and ivy)... I was REALLY pleased with it, especially considering it was the first wedding cake I have done since I had my baby. However, when I delivered it, neither the bride nor the mother of the bride said anything. The bride said thank you, but that was it. She designed the thing! Even when the mom returned the cake plateau, she only told me that other said it was the best cake they ever had. Nothing about how it looked. I even gave them a deal since it was something different from what I have done in the past.
People tend to hear the bad things and disregard the good. You should be giving yourself compliments on how good the cake tasted, not wondering about the lack of a comment on how it looked! If they didn't like it they wouldn't have said anything about how it tasted, either!
I am definately one who hears the bad and not the good... it's that pesky perfectionist and over achiever in me
I am definately one who hears the bad and not the good... it's that pesky perfectionist and over achiever in me
Hahaha, If you don't get over it I'll come to your house and give you a dope slap!
I just went through a 2 week plus of self doubt! All the questions like....am I good enough etc. Didn't help that my hubby said I spend too much on cake toys (I probably do ) Anyways, I appreciate this topic because I was really ready to give up. But this morning after reading this, and realizing I had normal feelings so I got up, kicked myself in the rear and told myself to get back to my kitchen and make my cakes better than ever! I feel better already!
Maybe you should view how well you have progressed. Look at your cakes from beginning of your career to now. I'm sure you will see a huge difference. I look at almost everyone's cakes here and think, well, maybe in 20 years I'll be closing in on them
I,hopefully, have progressed but there is still "here is MY cake.....OOOOOH look at YOUR cake!!" I will keep plugging away just because my family and friends think my cakes are great (I won't let them look at this website to really know what a great cake looks like! ) I have my first wedding cake for my niece in August and I'm going over it in my mind EVERY DAY ! I want it to be so perfect.
Regarding the lack of comments from customers--we live in a totally entitled society, so why wouldn't you give them a fabbbbulous cake.. I mean REALLY!! But disapoint them in anyway and you better believe you'll hear about it!!
And when my self-doubt demon sits on my shoulder and whispers in my ear, I know it's time to take a walk through Wal-Mart's bakery and see what most people consider good enough to celebrate their most important days with--then I feel ALLLL better!!
I know--I know--snarky but it works!
And when my self-doubt demon sits on my shoulder and whispers in my ear, I know it's time to take a walk through Wal-Mart's bakery and see what most people consider good enough to celebrate their most important days with--then I feel ALLLL better!!
I know--I know--snarky but it works!
Check this one out...I walked past it for three weeks before I couldn't stand it and took a picture http://acaketorememberva.blogspot.com/2010/03/another-potential-wedding-disaster.html
I was just feeling the same way! I have made business cards, flyers and everyone tells me I make great cakes, but no one wants to order one! I to browse thru the local grocery stores and see what they offer and feel so much better with myself!
And when my self-doubt demon sits on my shoulder and whispers in my ear, I know it's time to take a walk through Wal-Mart's bakery and see what most people consider good enough to celebrate their most important days with--then I feel ALLLL better!!
I know--I know--snarky but it works!
Check this one out...I walked past it for three weeks before I couldn't stand it and took a picture http://acaketorememberva.blogspot.com/2010/03/another-potential-wedding-disaster.html
THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!! My local Wal-Mart has a white on white dummy wedding cake on display. I went up to the counter and got up close and personal with it. The piping was really bad--I mean B A D-- the frosting was not smooth, to be honest there was nothing professional about it at all.
I've lost a couple of wedding cakes recently to Wal-Mart.... I'm very reasonable, albeit not as CHEAP as they are. Bottom line with some people is .. "it's JUST cake and I can get it cheaper there..."
..well that was totally off the subject of this thread, but it sure felt good to get it off my chest!!
Costumczar... that cake is hideous on way too many levels. That definately makes me feels better
On a side note, somewhat related.... I always wonder what happens to all those brides that contact me a month or two before their wedding begging me for a wedding cake. I price out what they are asking and never hear from them again... now I know what kind of a masterpiece they get
Costumczar... that cake is hideous on way too many levels. That definately makes me feels better
On a side note, somewhat related.... I always wonder what happens to all those brides that contact me a month or two before their wedding begging me for a wedding cake. I price out what they are asking and never hear from them again... now I know what kind of a masterpiece they get
You should see the one they put up when they took that one down. It's bright yellow with some really bad piping on it. I haven't been able to get close enough to take a picture without the bakery ladies giving me the evil eye.
Costumczar... that cake is hideous on way too many levels. That definately makes me feels better
On a side note, somewhat related.... I always wonder what happens to all those brides that contact me a month or two before their wedding begging me for a wedding cake. I price out what they are asking and never hear from them again... now I know what kind of a masterpiece they get
You should see the one they put up when they took that one down. It's bright yellow with some really bad piping on it. I haven't been able to get close enough to take a picture without the bakery ladies giving me the evil eye.
Meh! Evil-eye Smevil-eye! Besides, they probably think you're taking the picture to show someone how awesome it is!
Costumczar... that cake is hideous on way too many levels. That definately makes me feels better
On a side note, somewhat related.... I always wonder what happens to all those brides that contact me a month or two before their wedding begging me for a wedding cake. I price out what they are asking and never hear from them again... now I know what kind of a masterpiece they get
You should see the one they put up when they took that one down. It's bright yellow with some really bad piping on it. I haven't been able to get close enough to take a picture without the bakery ladies giving me the evil eye.
Meh! Evil-eye Smevil-eye! Besides, they probably think you're taking the picture to show someone how awesome it is!
Maybe they think I'm taking pictures so that I can get it from someplace that's cheaper than Walmart.
Oh heavens yes! I doubt myself. I'm always struggling the problem that it doesn't come out the same as it is in my head. I'm picturing a Tonedna or SugarShack cake and it comes out as a tracycake.
My hubby is pretty honest with me, as I want him to be, so I trust his judgement when I ask his opinion. If it looks like crap, he'll tell me so I can fix it. If I'm doubting it, but his response is "oh, wow!", then I know I'm being too hard on myself.
I've decided I'm a compliment junkie - can't get enough of them from my customers.
Absolutely!!! To the point that if I do decide to post a picture, I post when I know it's really busy or really early or really late!!!! So that's a big Yes!!!!
Maybe they think I'm taking pictures so that I can get it from someplace that's cheaper than Walmart.
Oooorrr....maybe they think you're trying to steal design ideas (snark, snark)!
YES I'm not crazy EVERTIME I finish a cake I pick out all the things I would do diff. My hubby always says that "I am my worst critic." Plus i'm pretty new at it myself so my nerves are always on until delivery. But recently i've had a returning client and she plans to have a 3rd order for August. That makes me feel sooo good.
I too, am a perfectionist and only see what is wrong, or tilting, or "off" in each of my cakes. I think one thing you can do to help cope with it, is to recognize that you are overly critical of your own work and take a step back to gain perspective. A good way to get your perspective reset is to think of where your cake ranks on "the awful scale". this scale runs from one to one hundred...one being absolute perfection and 100 being that your cake unwittingly caused someone's death. looking at your cake through that scale, can help you appreciate that even if one side didn't come out smooth or you got the color wrong or the fondant has a dent....it is not the end of the world, on the awful scale these kind of things rank around a ten when you consider that the cake could be a whole lot worse.
So that being said, lol, I was in a panic earlier because a cake that just got picked up developed a crack....I wanted to just cry because I felt like the party would be ruined because of it...Luckily, the lady who picked it up was pleased with the cake and then later posted on FB that she was so happy with it (which was really a relief, as you know sometimes those cracks have a way of growing!)lol, wish I could take my own advice!
The day I stop thinking I must try harder & do better is the day I stop making cakes, I think if we are critical of our own work we strive to do a better job every time. Someone on CC once said 'it is not how good you are but how well you cover your mistakes that makes you a good decorator' (not sure if that is exactly right but something like that!!!
Ur not alone. I started with a fuel in my belly to MASTER this sugar art. The more into it I get the more the self doubt consumes me to the point that I'm having mild anxiety attacks the minute the spatula gets an ounce of icing on it. I am a perfectionist and I see every flaw, every crumb (crumb coating makes me insane), every wobble. I want to create the perfect cake like the catalogues and magazines. I confess out of frustration I have actually cried while decorating a cake! UGH! It's like a competition against myself and yet I never win!!!
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