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Get This!!! UGH!

post #1 of 43
Thread Starter 
Ok....just have to vent and I am open to some words of wisdom here!

So here's what's happening.......got a call 2 days ago from a very dear friend of mine (actually my best friend and next door neighbor) to ask me if I would be interested in catering a desert bridal shower for her sister in law. The bridesmaids are hosting it and her SIL (the bride) had asked for my specialty "goumet cupcakes" (which are basically little mini torted cakes filled with filling of choice and wrapped in chocolate and topped with a dolop of buttercream). My friend then proceeded to ask her SIL and all of the other bridesmaids if it would be alright with them if I just provided all of the desserts that way it was a "one stop shop" kind of thing. So, they were all for it and she asked me to give her a price estimate for all of the deserts they desired as well as renting my cupcake tower to display everything.

So I called her with the price estimate, which around $375. She said that was fine but she would get back in touch as soon as she talked to everyone else. She calls me today wanting a breakdown of the cost and amount of all of the different desserts that she requested.......RED FLAG!! I know!......Now she's saying things like, "Well, I think we will still get the gourmet cupcakes, and rent the cupcake tower, but I think we will just go to the grocery and get some frozen stuff for the other things (ya'll know, like the frozen creme puffs and eclairs and things like that)"

My heart sunk....and my first reaction (in my head, I didn't say this out loud) to this was....if you think ya'll are putting those crappy frozen things on MY cupcake stand with next to MY specialty cupcakes, ya'll are nuts. And I kinda don't feel comfortable doing this anymore.

Is my reaction kinda harsh? I mean if she would have called and just ordered the cupcakes and tower rental, I would have thought nothing of it. I guess now I'm disapointed that I didn't get to do all the desserts. What are your thoughts?
post #2 of 43
I see how you are upset...but they were probably on a budget and didn't think it would cost so much. I think that they realized they were spending too much and still wanted something "gourmet" from you. I wouldn't be offended.
post #3 of 43
I get your feelings, Id probably feel the same way but like you said, if they had just asked you for the cupcakes and to rent your stand youd have had no problem with it.

Just remember not everyone can afford you and be happy she is not the kind of friend that tried to get you to give her some crazy special friend discount
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For in the end we will protect only what we love, love only what we understand, and understand only what we are taught.
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post #4 of 43
On the other hand . . . I won't take a cake to an event if there's cake from another baker there. It's in my contract and on my website that you have to agree to me being the sole provider.

"Wow those cupcake were aMAZing, but she sure isn't very good at making cream puffs, huh?"

Now if my biz was strictly cupcakes, I'd be OK with just providing cupcake and a stand RENTAL. If I was a dessert caterer, nun-uh.
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Answers to the most often asked questions re: SPS. SPS instructions are on Page 15 of the Sticky at the top of the Cake Decorating Forum. Supplies can be ordered from Oasis Supply, Global or BakeryCrafts.
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post #5 of 43
Thread Starter 
Yeah, maybe not, but my best friend used to be in the cake business with me so she should know what it cost. I get the feeling she's the one that is being the cheapie.....She always tells me things like, "you know, for the time it takes you, you should charge more or "you gotta make these things worth your time" when I'm dealing with other customers. When we were in business together she was the one that handled the bookeeping and pricing and she was so good at helping me realize that my talent was worth something. She's really talented too, but she's more of an artist (the oil paint and canvas) and she couldn't stand the baking.

Maybe she was expecting a discount?? But, I am NOT giving a discount because I am seriously so BURNT out with discounts!!! I am finally turning a profit now that all of my equipment is paid off!!!
post #6 of 43
I think your feelings are valid....and I can tell your friend really loves you, your product, and supports your business BUT she has others that are doing the shower that got a little sticker shock. don't be offended by her request. tell her you can work with her and give her some things that may be cheaper. if you are worried about other desserts being at the bridal shower...I wouldn't. maybe you can suggest to her to scale things down? that would help with costs and then they wouldn't have to go get "frozen" desserts *shudder* icon_lol.gif
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It's not "just" cake...it's my life!
WI State Representative for Icing Smiles...start 'Baking a Difference" today!
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post #7 of 43
Thread Starter 
Leah, I creme puffs, eclairs, etc. are not on my menu. They were planning on getting a cake (to use as topper on the cupcake stand), the gourmet cupcakes, decorated cookies, petit fours, brownie bites, and possibly another dessert style cake. I am not really a desert caterer, but I do offer some types of dessert style cakes. I don't know what to do!! I think I'm more hurt than anything. I hate dealing with friends. I need to suck it up!!
post #8 of 43
Thread Starter 
sorry guys!!! I'm probably ranting and rambling on.....I'm exhausted, PMSing, and, to tell you the truth, my "people skills" this week, have MUCH to be desired!!! I need to find a rock, crawl under it, and not come out until I am in a better mood!
post #9 of 43
Wow. She wanted a breakdown of the costs? How dare she!
post #10 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yum2010

Yeah, maybe not, but my best friend used to be in the cake business with me so she should know what it cost. I get the feeling she's the one that is being the cheapie.....She always tells me things like, "you know, for the time it takes you, you should charge more or "you gotta make these things worth your time" when I'm dealing with other customers. When we were in business together she was the one that handled the bookeeping and pricing and she was so good at helping me realize that my talent was worth something. She's really talented too, but she's more of an artist (the oil paint and canvas) and she couldn't stand the baking.

Maybe she was expecting a discount?? But, I am NOT giving a discount because I am seriously so BURNT out with discounts!!! I am finally turning a profit now that all of my equipment is paid off!!!




I totally get this.

" of course you need to make money, But not off of 'me' I'm your friend"

Why doesn't she offer to come and help out then.
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May your layers be many and your frosting be thick! - Stampin Up
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post #11 of 43
Thread Starter 
I just want honest opinions here. Everyone on here usually has really sound advice. I don't know if ninjacaker's post meant to be rude or not, but no snarkiness please! I'm frankly not in the mood for sarcasim. I recognize I probably should have given her the cost breakdown before hand, but it was really just a total estimate, which is all she requested at first.

Sorry, if it really wasn't meant to be sarcastic, I'm just crabby!
post #12 of 43
I think, if I were buying different items from a store, I would definetely want know the cost of things per item. ( eg, eclairs $---/per dozen, cookies $ ---/dozen). So mayber she is just trying to get tha from you? AS opposed to one price for the whole thing? If you had to quote a customer, I would let them know the different costs for different desserts.
post #13 of 43
We all have days when we are just not in the mood to deal with people. Friend or not!

I think your feelings are valid and if you would rather bow out then be honest with yourself and tell her you can't do it. If she was in the biz she should understand. Also, you don't want to be grumbling and mad at yourself while you are working on the order, Been there, done that and no amount of money is worth the feeling.

I recently had a previous customer inquire about cupcakes for a baby shower with almost 200 people attending. I don't think there were that many at my wedding but whatever. I gave her a price, $2 each. Well she was fine but the other people who were planning with her felt that cupcakes should not be more than $1 each. I thought about lowering my price a bit but then decided not to. After all, she found cupcakes at the grocery store for 60 cents each. She wanted to order but other folks had sticker shock.

My point is, you never know what the motives are behind the reaction and you have to live with the decision so do whatever you are comfortable with.

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post #14 of 43
This just sounds like a budget problem. Bridesmaids already have so much to pay for, so almost $400 in dessert can be a lot. She probably just wanted the breakdown to see how many desserts (and which ones) they could afford. I seriously doubt anybody would confuse frozen cream puffs with your gourmet cupcakes. Your friend is trying to get as much of the good stuff as she can within budget constraints, so don't be offended. I would be disappointed too in your situation, but try not to let it affect your friendship!
post #15 of 43
Couple of things. First why assume the worst about your friend? Sure she may have known the ins and outs of your business and when she asked the bridesmaids who were throwing the event to have you do it, she could have easily assumed that they would not have a problem with whatever you charged.

She might have had an idea but the bridesmaids did not and if she just said Hey lets let X do it all so we do not have to go more than one place it is not unlikely that they responded Sure, sounds like a good ideas. This would simply be a practical decision but one that did not necessarily factor in the question of cost.

Now if neither your friend or the bridesmaids bothered to follow up with about how much will it cost you can see how a practical planning decision can become problematic. This seems to be likely given your accounting of events as you state you quoted the price and she responded she would have to get back to you.

So she went back to those footing the bill and said here is the price. And I can easily see it going like this--Oh! we did not realize it would be that much, how much for just the cupcakes and the stand? Upon which your friend returns to you and says we would still like the cupcakes. Not an unlikely chain of events. Seems like she is more the go between than someone looking to take advantage of a friendship--without knowing more assume the best of yur friend.

Second remember that you are not dealing with her as a friend but as a clientit is not personal it is business. This means it goes both ways, you are using the client relationship as the basis for determining what you charge (i.e. you are not giving her a friend discount). If that is the case then do not let them get to you if she decides to change her plans (as I understand it they did not place the order only inquired about it).

I am not trying to diminish your feelings, but it seems you are hurt because this interaction involves one of your friendsbut from her standpoint she could easily be making a business decision. As your client the group she represents made a budget decision and decided they (best case) cannot afford or (worst case) simply do not want to pay that much for the service you planned on providing. So you simply need to make another business decision. Do you want your desserts to sit alongside cheap store bought products?

Again it is not personal it is based on principlewhat is your position about providing desserts to an event where you are not the only baker (even if that baker is Mrs. Smith ;p)? If you decide you will not serve an event that has more than you as the baker then you tell your friend this is my policy. Remember it is not a knock on you, it is poor planning on their part (not taking the time to consider what the price might be) .
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