Sometimes I Really Want To Inform Clients
Business By love2makecakes Updated 4 Jun 2010 , 3:08am by Mabma80
Ah, but you didn't have a different dessert for you and your husband, did you?
That was my issue! lol
Absolutely not! We even did the "feeding each other thing" with our cookies. We always marched to the beat of our own drummer, so I think people just went with the flow. Well, of course, many of them had been to the same weddings. Maybe they were glad to have something that tasted good! 
Kathi
At one time we had a client who told us that following dinner at her cousin's huge 300 guest wedding the Bridesmaids were stationed at the cake table with a cash box. If guests, wanted cake they had to purchase it. If I remember correctly she said that they charged $2.50 per slice, which, several years ago, shows that they were out to make a nice profit on their cake.
Oy. Whatever happened to proper etiquette?
At one time we had a client who told us that following dinner at her cousin's huge 300 guest wedding the Bridesmaids were stationed at the cake table with a cash box. If guests, wanted cake they had to purchase it. If I remember correctly she said that they charged $2.50 per slice, which, several years ago, shows that they were out to make a nice profit on their cake.
Oy. Whatever happened to proper etiquette?
I think it went the same way with "please" and "thank you." Or, my favorite, "You should know I'm turning because I hit my brakes!"
When my cousin got married they had cream puffs for dessert. My sister was so mad (apparently she came just for the cake) that my other (not cousin's dad) uncle went into the back room and purchased an entire black forest cake for her from the restaurant and plunked it in front of her and told her to shut it.
Bride never found out, but its now a running joke in our immediate family.
Just a cute story.
Not as tacky as this:
A couple booked my entire restaurant for a 'party' where their invited guests would order off a limited menu and pay for their own food. They omitted to mention that little detail on the invitation, which was for a wedding reception. So they pulled one on me and the guests. Needless to say, only 10% ordered any food, and they all came dressed well and bearing gifts. Huge loss for me, shocked faces all around for the guests, and the couple didn't even 'make the rounds' or talk to anybody but their wedding party. And then they sang songs of praise and worship.
I'm not kidding.
I did a wedding cake for a friend's wedding that did the very same thing! The limited menu and the cost to order off the menu was $30 per person for the adults and $20 for kids, NOT including beverages! I did not stay eventhough I was an invited guest. The wedding was also on site as the center where the restaurant was is like a little outdoor shopping area with a beautiful tiny chapel on the grounds, and an area for outdoor weddings. There are 2 other restaurants there too, but they were closed that day.
I didn't stick around long enough to see how many others left, but I am sure many were very upset about the deal.
sham wow. That is incredibly tacky. I have heard it all.
Oddly, my uncle is quiet wealthy. When cousin got married, it was really a small do at a local private club during the day. Not formal just family and some friends. They charged for drinks at the bar. Get the h3ll out. Not for cokes or water but for alcohol. My uncle is a millionaire and groom's parents were too.
I can remember thinking "how tacky is this?" and I don't even drink!!
Ha ha...do we have the same uncle?
Or maybe there is some school in Texas for Rich Uncles that teaches them how to be tightwads, and screw others out of their money.
When my cousin got married they had cream puffs for dessert. My sister was so mad (apparently she came just for the cake) that my other (not cousin's dad) uncle went into the back room and purchased an entire black forest cake for her from the restaurant and plunked it in front of her and told her to shut it.
Bride never found out, but its now a running joke in our immediate family.
Just a cute story.
Oh, that is funny as HECK!!! LOVE it!! Although, you'd be hard pressed to see me mad about cream puffs. Do we notice a trend, that I like ANYTHING sweet? Ugh! 
ETA: But that's my exact point... to some people a wedding is a big party where you eat cake. That's all they want! And they are willing to bring gifts for it! 
We never have alcohol at our weddings at all.
Sparkling cider to toast the happy couple; and punch, soda pop, coffee, tea, etc... but NO booze.
That's not unusual around here, as drinking and driving is a HUGE no-no in this part of the country. Not to mention all the drunken 20-somethings (and older) acting like idiots during the reception.
Oh wow, I most definitely expect cake at a wedding! I grew up in the South and there was always a cake cutting ceremony and then usually the cake was sliced and you came to the table and picked it up. (At my wedding it was taken to the kitchen and then delivered to the tables....yet SO many people, including my mom, said they didn't get cake! 
What the heck? Did the staff keep it!!?)
I noticed the weddings I went to in the North always had a dessert bar or a candy bar or an ice cream bar or a pastry table! Then there was cake! Alot of that cake got boxed up and sent home though, kind of as the "favor." I wanted to eat mine there and that's when I would hear from other guests that the wedding cake isn't usualy eaten there. 
(3 New York weddings)
A good friend of ours ran out of cake at their wedding! It was a TINY stacked cake and we were sooo disappointed that there wasn't enough cake for everyone that we stopped by a grocery store on the way home and bought an 8 inch cake, had the dishwasher employee (the baker had gone home!) scribble "congratulations" on it and we took it to the after party (the B and G weren't there, of course.) So weird to not provide enough cake!!!
Sometimes the person cutting the cake has no experience really doing it so they cut slices that are way too big and thus not enough cake. But then again sometimes it is the person who ordered it trying to save so they order less cake than they really need.
Alot of that cake got boxed up and sent home though, kind of as the "favor." I wanted to eat mine there and that's when I would hear from other guests that the wedding cake isn't usualy eaten there.
(3 New York weddings)
Chasey, this was a tradition in New England when I was growing up. Not so much now, I don't think, but everyone went home from a wedding with a favor and a slice of cake. If a single girl slept with the wedding cake under her pillow that night she would soon meet her husband to be. 
My DH and I were the first of our families/circle of friends to serve the cake as dessert.
When my friend got married, I had to talk her in to even ordering a cake, because she didn't like cake. I told her the same arguments....people were coming to her wedding, bringing her gifts...etc, they were expecting cake, and she needed to give them cake.
So....she did. The cake was pretty and it tasted good (not great, but good). The food however, was not so good. Rather than have a meal, she had buffet lines of finger foods (chicken strips, mini egg rolls, stuffed mushrooms, etc) that were cold by time I got to eat. However, when I walked past the bride & groom's table........they were eating steak, grilled potatoes, salad, a whole spread!!!!!!
I would never serve snacks to my guests as I sat up there eating steak!!!
I don't have a business, no clients, no..anything, but I just came across this thread and was a guest at my first wedding of the season last weekend, and I had to rag on the cake a little.
I sat with the grandmother of the groom who wasn't shy about everyone at the table knowing that her slice was still completely frozen. Mine was about half frozen, but I wasn't going to say anything. I'm amazed they were able to cut it. I am pretty terrible at smoothing buttercream, but I could (and have...) smoothed a cake better after a bottle of wine than whoever made this cake. I though about snapping a pic with the cell for cake wrecks (this was professionally made), but felt too bad to.
There was the ceremony, then cake cutting with a soda toast in the church, and after that...a private meal that only some guests were invited to. The aunt of the bride went around to select tables informing people if they were invited to the meal.
Tacky.
I have to say that reading these stories kind of makes my heart hurt. How people can treat the people that are SUPPOSED to be their friends and family so poorly... it kind of makes you sad for mankind in general. Ok, sorry, not trying to be melodramatic, but why can't we be respectful and courteous to each other? *sigh*
My SIL had a beautiful wedding, I did the cake and was a bridesmaid. After the ceremony there was a dinner, the B&G actually went into a separate room to eat. There was a hall for the guests, but they went into this little side room where no one else was 'allowed' to go, so they could eat their first meal together as husband and wife.
While I kind of understand, I still felt it was a huge snub to every one else. "Hey, we want your presents, but we don't actually want to be AROUND you!" Then the bride, who doesn't like me BTW, waited until I was on the opposite side of the hall cutting the wedding cake that I made to pop out and do their toast at the table where the wedding party sat.
I was the only one not up there, so I wasn't in the video. I felt that was pretty rude. Then they went back into their little room and expected me to bring them cake to share. All of a sudden I was their personal waitress. Nice. Snub me, then make me your slave. Awesome.
Some people are just amazingly rude and selfish, but I love hearing about how awful they are! It amuses me! 
Somehow I missed the notification on this thread so Im behind on some of the great comments on here!
what shocked me the most was that they insisted that I put "no boxed gifts" at the bottom of the reception information.
Now now. This COULD mean that they dont like trying to open a lot of boxes so theyre requesting we put their dishtowels and toilet paper holders in pretty gift bags instead! (Thats my story and Im sticking to it!)
You see wedding planners going threw the envelopes of money from their guests to pay for the vendors they used and couldnt afford.
One wedding I catered, we saw the bride opening envelopes and pulling money out. One of my staff heard a guest tell her I dont think youre suppose to do that now and the bride said, They (you know the Great and Powerful THEY, whoever they are) told me to. 
Or, my favorite, "You should know I'm turning because I hit my brakes!"
Luv it!
ETA: But that's my exact point... to some people a wedding is a big party where you eat cake. That's all they want! And they are willing to bring gifts for it!
Ive said it before . My son-in-law says if he goes to a wedding and there is no white cake with white icing, hes taking his present and leaving!
When my friend got married, I had to talk her in to even ordering a cake, because she didn't like cake.
As I told the brides who didnt care about the cake (or the food or the cake flavor or whatever), There are going to be 148 OTHER people there . What do you think THEY will want?
I had 2 cakes at my wedding and both were bad. The wedding cake arrived late. 30 minutes AFTER we got to the reception site and looked nothing like what I had requested (even after the baker, a former pastry chef at the MGM, assured me she could do it)so my brand new husband and his best man ran downstairs to a little Chinese bakery and purchased a sheet cake with BC roses and congratulation piped on it in piping gel.
A friend of mine is being asked to make a small 2 tier cake for a reception where the couple has already eloped. They are renting out a large restaurant and only want a cake to feed 50 but are inviting 200. There are no plans for any other desserts. As a guest, I'd be irritated. When I go to a wedding, I want cake!
Umm how do i even begin to explain the disgust i am feeling after hearing all of these horror stories......stories that make me feel completely embarrassed for the couples who are getting married...
I've heard of "no gifts only cash or gift cards" on the invitation...totally rude and tacky i felt like sending a dollar or a $5.00 Dollar Store gift card just because evidently you're saying i'm not smart enough to read a registry and find the item in the store....awesome!
The whole no wedding favors I personally find tacky...I understand you are going to have some left at the reception site and probably some left over but it's a nice way to say "Thank you for sharing this day with us." People spend a lot of time and money coming to your wedding...My SIL, who is the definition of tacky, didn't have any favors because she didn't want to go to the trouble or spend the money...really? She didn't even put anything in the rooms that people booked at the hotel who flew a long way for your day....couldn't have thrown a couple bottles of water, a map of the town and some candy in a bag with a little note to say 'Thank you for making the trip enjoy your time here'??? She was the first to complain when her friend didn't do that when she went out of town for a wedding but she's better than that i guess.....needless to say we aren't best friends....
My last favorite then i'll get off my soap box and let someone else talk....
A Co-worker wanted to see pictures of my cake and then said that was interested in a price quote but had a limited budget for the cake. She only wanted one cake, no sheet cakes, for 200 people for as cheap as possible (probably why she asked me is what she was thinking)......this is the person who spent $2,000.00 for a church where she said they will have a quick 20 minute reception because she's not religious....here's an idea spend it on the cake and you will have that picture you wanted but for what you want to spend you might want to go to Super Wal-Mart and get your cake.....
I cut the cake at my oldest sisters wedding and she didn't plan on enough or else people had 2 pieces because there were people asking me where the rest of the cake was when i was cleaning up....i felt horrible but she was so tight on her budget and i thought it was super tacky but her mom is that way too...
Have to feel bad for the tacky people who don't know better....
The whole no wedding favors I personally find tacky...
Wedding favors, at least in my part of the country, is a relatively new concept ... "new" being defined as "in the last 20 years or so, give or take". Coming from a large Catholic family, I can assure you that I had many many weddings to attend while growing up and during my early adult years, plus I started doing wedding cakes in my early 20's, so 'attended' weddings almost every weekend, and favors were just not done back then. They are a new concept designed to get the bride to spend money. I was pretty surprised and amused when they started showing up at kids birthday parties!! Another "money grab" by the folks who want moms to spend more money.
To me, the "thanks for coming" is a nice celebration with good food, good cake and good entertainment.
"Tacky" to me is spending money on something that people dont' want, don't need and they throw away on the way out the door that says "Here's a piece of useless junk that shows how much I appreciate you coming." Now THERE is a conflicting message!
Wedding favors has always been done here, if i remember correct, its supposed to be 3 sugar almonds, to symbolize health wealth and happiness . . Or something like that XD , Not a major expense, just holding up tradition.
the last wedding i went to, all the men were given miniature bottles of liquor (the arent cheap when your buying them for 150 fellas!)
Im waiting for the ladies gifts to come round, Expecting something nice along the same lines of the what the men got. .
i was handed a box of caburys roses, told to 'take ONE' and pass along the box... i didnt get this at all, only to be told by a friend later, that was the ladies favor. . Huh . . i dont get brides :/
the last wedding i went to, all the men were given miniature bottles of liquor (the arent cheap when your buying them for 150 fellas!)
See, this is kinda the type of thing I mean. I know a number of folks who would be insulted by such a "gift" because they don't drink ... some by choice, some by virtue of their religion. To be given a bottle of liquor is not a "gift" but is a slap in the face to them.
I've seen golf balls given as gifts .... great if you're a golfer. I've seen brides give packs of seeds or other 'gardening' things. Great .... if you're into gardening (or don't live in an apartment where you can't plant things outside your door or window like I do). But to the others it says "I had no idea what to get you so I got SOMETHING so that *I* would feel like I did something for you. So be happy about it whether you are or not!"
Here's my blog on the whole favors thing: http://cateritsimple.blogspot.com/search/label/favors
when I got married 8 yrs. ago we used little silver photo frames (all different but the esame size) and put a paper in them w/ the person's name and table number and they took it and went to their seats......after the wedding we mailed them each a photo in the proper size for the frame of them and us at our reception.
Some people thought it was GREAT others were TO'd that they didn't get a "real gift" and thought we were full of ourselves thinking a photo of US was a "gift"! oh well, can't please them all!
Not to be mean, but honestly want to know... Were these close friends and family?
Because I don't put pictures of other people all over my house; and if you gave me a silver frame with a picture of you I would feel obligated to put it up, as I assume you would be mad if you came and it wasn't there.
The only 'people' pictures I have is one wall of close family.
My cousin got married a few years ago, this was 3 hours away from where we live, and on the invite it said "reception to follow".
Well after the church ceremony at 3:00 we were told to come back to the hall at 8:00pm for the party!!!
Ok no dinner...we went out ourselves.
Came back for a cash bar and "would you like chips or cheesies", presented to us at the table by the bride who proceeded to toss us the "bag" of our choice on the table!!!
My hubby said " grab the gift we are out of here "!
But our card was already in the "box". I practically had to hold him back from ripping the hinges off it to get the card out. We found out later another uncle did "open" his card to them and use some of the cash to pay for his dinner!
My hubby said " grab the gift we are out of here "!
But our card was already in the "box". I practically had to hold him back from ripping the hinges off it to get the card out. We found out later another uncle did "open" his card to them and use some of the cash to pay for his dinner!
Forget holding him back, I'd have been the one prying off the hinges while he stood 'lookout'. The two of us would be out of there so fast!
I don't really care about favors one way or the other, but if it's costs $200 (for example) and that's cutting into the budget for decent food or a good cake, skip 'em. I think that's one of the places that I wouldn't mind someone trying to cut corners. I'm not super touchy about that sort of thing, but I can understand that some people REALLY like that, and in certain areas it's very much expected. I like things like the roses you make with Hershey's kisses, something else edible, or the little bottles of bubbles the kids go crazy for them... I find that to be super cute. Of course, right until there is a layer of sticky goo all over the floor! Hehehe. Nah, it's still cute. But something that you don't have to necessarily KEEP, but it's fun for a little while. I honestly think the silver picture frame was a sweet idea, and its truly something that took a lot of work and thought to get a pic with each person. Whether someone wanted to display it or not would be up to them of course, but to me it seems like a very personal idea.
I think sometimes we like hearing these 'mean' stories because it makes us feel better about ourselves. You know, because we're more considerate than these dolts. 
At least... I feel that way. 
I like to think I'm a pretty thoughtful person most of the time... but I'm sure there is someone out there who doesn't think that. At some point we all kick someone in the shin whether we realize it (or mean to) or not.
Deb, with your years of catering experience I'm sure you could curl my hair with some of your stories. I think we should write a book. We can call it, "Don't be *THAT* bride!" Hilarious. If nothing else we could sit and drink margaritas (or virgin daquiris!!) and laugh about it.
Not to be mean, but honestly want to know... Were these close friends and family?
Because I don't put pictures of other people all over my house; and if you gave me a silver frame with a picture of you I would feel obligated to put it up, as I assume you would be mad if you came and it wasn't there.
The only 'people' pictures I have is one wall of close family.
Yes, they were all family and all first cousins, Uncles aunts etc. but it was a small picture anyway like 2"x3" wallet sized. what do you want, we were on a budget? lol
The whole no wedding favors I personally find tacky...
Wedding favors, at least in my part of the country, is a relatively new concept ... ....:
my family is italian catholic so for us its not called favors but bonbonerie and sugar almonds are the traditional thing (which i believe most brides these days cringe at the thought of using)
my mum has a display case filled with decades of bonbonerie we have received and when we go to weddings these days and i see the youngin's tearing into their favors while at the reception and start eating the sweet (be it almonds or chocolate hearts of whatever) i always cringe by the behaviour - you are suppose to take them home folks
i always cringe by the behaviour - you are suppose to take them home folks
And see, some of us are so uneducated on that sort of thing that we have NO clue. Seriously, I would never mean it to be rude, but if it's candy or something I might certainly eat it depending on what other food type things were going on. Now, I'm not Catholic, and honestly have never been to a Catholic wedding, so maybe it is different. I'd certainly hate to think that people were looking at me and thinking I was gauche!! Now I'm a little embarassed!!
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