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Confusing bride-rant!

post #1 of 48
Thread Starter 
So a friend of mine asked me to do her wedding cake for her and I said yes. I was really excited until I realized she's a bride who could care less about her wedding(I didn't know those existed). She said her cake was the last thing on her mind and the thing she was the least worried about. Okay for her I suppose but now I'm the one stressed out about her cake! She took forever just to pick out her flavors and still hasn't even picked out a design...says she trusts me. It sure does help when you have SOMETHING to go by other than...my wedding is black and white.
So now I'm trying to figure out what to do with this cake and how big I should make it. Isn't the rule of thumb to only expect half of what you invite? She said she has about 300 invites, but requested a cake for 250. On top of that she's having a sheet cake for a groom's cake, a full dessert bar and no food, AND her wedding is on Mother's Day weekend! I know you give them what they ask for...I just feel like that is an over abundance of dessert. icon_eek.gif

I'm sure it will all work out in the end, I just needed to share. Sorry for the long rant!
post #2 of 48
I would love to be able to do a wedding cake and be able to choose the design myself. Just relax and enjoy doing the cake. I'm sure it will turn out great thumbs_up.gif Good luck to you.
everyday is a good day, some are just better than others.
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everyday is a good day, some are just better than others.
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post #3 of 48
dessert bars are a new big thing from what i hear. most brides get a smaller tired cake when they have that going on.. people just wont eat all the sweets- especially with no other food to soak up the sugar!!

Since she don't care- i would print up a few articles found on the internet about what brides "normally" do. Offer to make her a smaller cake- tell her she could save money on a smaller one and buy a better pair of shoes, or something completly irrelevant to the wedding. That might spike her interest.

Good luck- oh- and maybe like the damask design thing for the cake, or just some scrolls, whimisical. I would personally do a smaller 3 tired for 150 people.

Good luck- keep us updated!
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Some people dream in color- me, I dream in Cake.
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post #4 of 48
Is she paying or is it free?

If she is paying then I would pin her down with your list of questions telling her you needed all the information now so you can give her a final quote and move on with her order.

If it is free, (cake for 250 is a big, no I take that back HUGE gift from you to her) then I would take the little information she has given you and run with it. In my opinion if I am doing a cake for free then I get more of a say in the design than they do. Because I am not going to get roped into doing a 5 tiered cake with gobs of gumpaste flowers or little intricate piping designs on it for free, unless I really want to.

If it is a free deal then I'd talk to her about reducing the servings needed if she is having a ton of other stuff there. If she is paying for it, as long as she pays for 250 servings then her having too much is her problem not yours.
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post #5 of 48
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the input guys!
It is nice that I have a lot of free reign with the design, but I have soo many ideas in my head I don't know where to start and end! lol kimpound I actually thought about doing the scroll work, I have the damask stencil but have yet to use it so I wasn't sure about that yet. I told her that with her having all the desserts she wouldn't need a cake for 250, but she kind of seemed like that's just what she was intent on having. I just don't know how to nicely tell her that's ridiculous...unless she is seriously expecting everyone to show up.
Do you think it would be rude to ask her if she has her RSVPs and how many people she's expecting so far?
post #6 of 48
Here is a simply design we did that has gotten raves from brides and grooms. I would think it would lend itself nicely to a black and white theme, and it won't take you forever to make.

http://cakecentral.com/modules.php?name=gallery&file=displayimage&pid=1338830

I could be wrong, but if my memory serves me correctly, you order approx. 75% of the number of invitations that go out. Of course, you do have that unique situation of other sweets. She could always freeze a layer or two of the cake for a party after their honeymoon.....
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
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"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
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post #7 of 48
IndyDebi's advice on head counts:

http://cakecentral.com/cake-decorating-ftopict-585145-rule.html+thumb+guests

I think remember something about three exceptions to the rule, but I can't find that so maybe someone can chime in there.
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post #8 of 48
Is it not practise in the States to send out your invitations and then have the guests RSVP 6 - 7 weeks before?
That way you know (except for sudden illness) how many are coming.

Curious.

Bluehue.
post #9 of 48
My daughter has given me free reign on her wedding cake--- flavors AND design! I know how you are feeling- there are just sooooooooo many choices when you have to make them for someone else.
If you can't be good- be good at it.

Tandy
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If you can't be good- be good at it.

Tandy
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post #10 of 48
Thread Starter 
TexasSugar:
She's paying me a little bit for it, actually has already given me the money. I've given her plenty of ideas and all I've gotten is "I trust you". That's fine and all but in the beginning she said she wanted something simple, but she likes the ideas I've given her...I guess I just don't want to go overboard! She agreed on a 3 tier 12-9-6, but that's only going to feed about 100 or less I believe if I do 3 layers per tier(I may be wrong though), she's just clueless when it comes to weddings obviously, but I don't feel that's my place to tell her what she needs to know haha.

cownsj, that is a really pretty cake! I don't think that is something she would go for though icon_sad.gif She even commented to her fiancée that if they needed to they could cut into the top tier! Of course I'm not going to give her a cake that doesn't feed everyone, but her just saying that shows me she just can't care that much about tradition or the cake in general.

Thank you for the link texassugar!
Bluehue, yes it is. I was just wondering if it would be rude for me to ask her how many have RSVPd so far for my benefit.
Tmac it is so overwhelming! Definitely going to be fun once I get going but where to start!? icon_smile.gif
post #11 of 48
can you send her example pictures & see what styles she likes?

Just an idea that I had while reading your post...A white cake with a black ribbon at the bottom of the tiers & set some of the flowers she chose on it?
post #12 of 48
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trishop2

can you send her example pictures & see what styles she likes?

Just an idea that I had while reading your post...A white cake with a black ribbon at the bottom of the tiers & set some of the flowers she chose on it?



I have done that, she either doesn't reply or just says whatever. So I guess whatever I do she's going to be fine with (I hope!) I was going to do flowers on it for her, but she has 8 or 9 bridesmaids, and each of them are carrying a different flower...I'm not even sure what she is carrying at this point. She's not a real girly girl either. I sat down with her this weekend and said how about the quilting pattern, scroll work, and perhaps the buttercream symmetrical dots. She said that sounded good but that she'd look again when she got home. Not sure if she's just saying she likes it and really doesn't?
post #13 of 48
Okay, sounds like you need to talk to her and have a heart to heart. It could really be that the wedding cake just isn't a big deal to her (not everyone loves cake) or that she trusts you to make her a great cake and feels she doesn't have to give alot of input.

I believe you said the wedding is Mother's Day weekend, which means you have what less than two weeks? I think it is time to quit asking her questions and just make her a cake with the information you currently have.

There are some awesome black and white themed cakes in the galleries here or you can take any two tone colored cake and make it black and white.
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post #14 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by cfly

Bluehue, yes it is. I was just wondering if it would be rude for me to ask her how many have RSVPd so far for my benefit.



No, i don't think it rude at all for you to ask.
Last thing you want is a bride telling you/others - there wasn't enough cake - Altho by the sounds of the Buffett table - i am sure there will be, but for your piece of mind - it wouldn't hurt to contact her -
Albeit she should be the one advising you.

Look forward to seeing a picture when you have made it - icon_smile.gif


Bluehue.
post #15 of 48
Maybe you could get one of her invitations and see if there is a design element you could take from that.
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
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"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
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