is there a buttercream icing recipe that will crust enough that it will not smash when laid on top of each oterh or put in bags? RI is too hard for some and i really like the buttercream flavor better.

In my opinion, buttercream just won't harden enough to stack with a whole lot of success. Try using a glace icing instead. Its not as easy to work with as royal, but tastes WAY better and sets hard but not solid.