I guess this is a vent, just wanted to share to get it out of my system. I have been asked to make a friends wedding cake for the end of Jan. Half chocolate, half white and a small wheat/dairy free cake-total servings of 150.

I have been researching recipes and made 3 choc for them to try. They picked one and thought we were good. But then they thought maybe a darker cocoa would make it better. And then she said that she would go with me to the coop to get the ingred.

So I was going to try one more time and combine 2 of the recipes cause the coop cocoa she bought doesn't look that much darker than what I have. And so I began to understand that my usual ordinary ingred. wouldn't be ok.

Tonight I asked her if one of the ingred in a liquid coffee creamer would be ok for the wheat/dairy free frosting to thin it instead of milk. She referred to the chemicals in it as poison. Even if it is only a couple tablespoons in a batch of frosting. "A couple tablespoons of arsenic in a batch is still poison".

Don't get me started on when I mentioned the cake she picked uses margarine. She said just use butter instead. I said that may work but that all the ingred work together and I wasn't sure if it would change things. Especially on top of the flour, cocoa, and everything else being somewhat different cause they will be all from the coop.

So I told her to really think about it and if she wants it all pure maybe she should have the coop just do the cakes.

Anyway, I know this is long but it just makes me a bit sad that I probably won't be making her cakes since I just think it is a no win thing. If I use all her ingred I will have to do more testing and worry and if I use mine or a combination I know she will be happier if they are all natural and from the coop. And yes, she is willing to reimburse me costs for everything and go with to buy it.

Thanks for listening.

Too much trouble that sounds like it can end up in a big fight between friends.

Have you ever heard of the phrase "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth"? Well that is what your friend is doing. Unless she is about to pay you a $1000 for all htese samples you making, don't do it. And if she wants to be difficult, cut you losses.

Barring any medical reasons that she needs special ingredients, if you're doing it for free, as a gift, she can shut the h*ll up. If she's paying for the cake, you're probably already in the red with all the different testing you're doing, and I'd put a halt to it right now unless she's paying for all of this Research and Development stuff!

This is the type of person that I'd just LOVE to set 3 samples of the very same chocolate cake in front of her, tell her that each sample was made with a different cocoa ... and watch her go thru the motions of declaring 'Oh yes. THIS one is the best! Go with Sample #2!"

I'll bet my pair of boots in a snowstorm it would end up this way.

In the words of Seinfeld: "People ..... they're the WORST!"

what's the coop?

I think she means co-op. The place you get all the "special" "Community" foods from.

Did she ask you to make it at no charge, and she'll pay for the ingredients? From just what I've read here so far this lady would be having the coop make her cakes. It sounds to me like your friendship will come out a whole lot more intact if you back out now, suggesting she have the coop make the cakes. Otherwise you'll be spending boo-koo more time and bucks developing the recipes yourself, and chances are she won't be satisfied in the end. Do yourself a favor and break it to her now, while you're still friends. I hate to think of you avoiding eachother because it was your fault the cakes weren't what she wanted.

In my opinion if you go through with this no matter what you do she will not be happy with it. Sometimes its just a "no win" situation. Sorry

Sorry about the coop thing. I meant co-op where you can buy local and organic things. Not a place I normally shop. And she has offered several times to give money for supplies or get items for me so that isn't the issue. The test cakes I would make a small one for their test and use the rest as cupcakes or for other purposes. Plus I was enjoying it. After the 3 choc were tested is when she brought up getting things at the co-op. Later still the creamer is poison thing. This morning my DH mentioned what about Pam. So I am sure that is poison also. What is hard for me is all the changes after the fact. However I haven't started the vanilla cakes yet so could use the info going forward and then retest the choc recipe with the changes. It is just getting too complicated, I just can't foresee all the complications and food no-no's that she believes in. Plus the difference that all these slight changes will make to the overall product. I mean, I really don't know if rice milk will be an equal substitute for milk in buttercream unless I try it. Yeesh. She called this morning and I let the machine take it to hear from what ccers said first. But I think I need to bow out now. Thanks for the support and advice.

haha thanks for clarifying the 'coop' the first thing i thought of was chicken coop----i dont know where i was going with that.
my advice would be keep a friend...loose the cake! or it will be make the cake and loose a friend.

I recently had my own adventure with a repeat client. She's nice but so it very picky, but so am I. First, she wanted a sheet cake (which I hate doing but agreed). Then she wanted lime green, chocolate brown, and white. She wanted me to make up something for a baby shower. Finally, she had a problem with the price of the half sheet cake. Which she was getting it for a steal - anyway.

I just made up something and I won't go into to the details as to why I wouldn't be able to do it. I held my breath and crossed my fingers.

I knew it was going to be a problem because I had no invitation to go off of, no swatches of color, and could not settle on a price.

So, word to the wise....If it looks, or seems like there will be problem it probably will be.



As luck would have it I have smaller order from my cousin for his son. So, I'm doing a cute little basketball cake.

cakeymom

My feelings on this are a bit different from most of you.
If you are enjoying the test baking and she has pd for some or all of it then I would go forward. I don't think she will not be satisfied come the big day.
What she doesn't know won't *poison* her Make up your samples, don't tell her what ingredients used and I bet she won't notice at all.

I had someone expect me to buy a set of square pans in order to make her friend's wedding cake. I was and still am very new to tiered cakes so only had graduated sizes in round pans and not square. I told her that up front but she was so insistent I just decided to buy the square set rationalizing that I'd probably need it in the future anyways Turns out I almost never use them - prefer round pans. For the second wedding cake I did the bride to be was soooo much more understanding of my skill level and worked with me to make sure it wouldn't be too stressful for me - The right customer makes all the difference in the world to the enjoyment of the whole process - making a wedding cake is a HUGE deal - please don't let your friend take it for granted and expect a cake to her nitpicky specifications as if you are Jeannie and can cross your arms, blink and voila - cake

my caps key is broken

yes, this is rent-a-pastry-chef for free not just make a cake.

offering to pay for ingredients is nice but recipe development is not what you signed up for nor is it compensated by purchasing a few ingredients.

and as we all know, you can't just sub out ingredients willy nilly and get the right results.

wedding cake has to perform not just be some sorta sweet substance that combines all your preferred ingredients.

bowing out is the best idea i think

I think that by you posting this you are already feeling in your gut that this is not going to turn out well. I (most) respectfully disagree with kakeladi's statement:

Why? I think this friend has already shown herself to be extraordinarily interested in involving herself in the production of her cake. I don't think she will ever "not notice" (or ask) what you have used for ingredients.

In the end, your husband is right... if you can't get away from even PAM being "poison" she is never going to be happy with what you have produced.

The question is this: How much do you value the friendship?

Hit the ground running.

Wise words, Win.

To build on that, I'd ask another question:
1. How much do you value your friendship?
2. How much are you willing to try out some new ingredients, recipes, & techniques, just for her?

I'd maybe suggest a sit-down with her, face-to-face, and ask her specifically what her requirements are, regarding ingredients: all organic? all whole grain? no processed sugar? Tell her you want to know what she needs because you didn't originally realize you'd have to change your preferred recipes.

Once you know this, you can determine if you're willing to try some new ingredients and methods. It may be that you're willing to do so, but you'll need more money from her, because not only are organic ingredients more expensive, but you'd also have to be spending more because of 'testing.' You might even have to wait to give her an exact estimate until you're sure which ingredients you'd be using.

Or, if you're finding it exasperating to have to adapt your recipes, and you're starting to resent her, then just suggest that maybe she might want to have the co-op do her cake, no offensive taken.

It sounds like she maybe wants organic, which would be the simplest to do. There are many bakeries who make organic wedding cakes:
http://www.cakecentral.com/cake-decorating-ftopict-630818-organic.html
Dr. Oetker makes organic cake mixes, even. I'm guessing the icing would be the biggest adjustment for you, although there are some great cakers here who might help if you just PMed them. It could involve a little extra time to get skills up to speed, if, for example, you've never smoothed IMBC.

So....I guess I'm saying that you need to have a conversation to get some clarity about her needs. Then you need to decide if you want to go to the trouble of adjusting to these needs, without disrespecting her for wanting organic in the first place.

HTH

I assume the special cakes are because of allergies. In that case, I most definitely would recommend she use the co-op. They are used to those ingredients, and can assure her that nothing harmful will come in contact with those cakes.
-
Unless you bake gluten-free (and apparently you do not) your kitchen is contaminated with things that she will react to.

Thanks for all your comments and concerns. I should clarify, the wheat/dairy free was to serve 20 the rest of the 150 was normal cakes. I was going to use a wheat/dairy free mix for the 20 and she was fine with that. I knew that it was important due to allergies which is why I asked about the creamer ingredient. It just opened up a whole can of worms. The unanticipated problem was with the 130 serving cakes. I guess the problem was my normal and her normal are different. I didn't guess there would be a problem with margarine, she thinks it is poison. Anyway, when we talked today she said she didn't want to lose a friendship over margarine and for me to get what I could from the co-op (with her money and assistance) and whatever else from somewhere else. However now knowing her feelings on margarine, etc I coudn't in good conscience continue. And she would know every ingredient since we would be shopping together. So I suggested she have the co-op or another healthfood bakery make it since they are used to her ingredient choices. So I am a bit relieved yet disappointed cause I had been enjoying the process. Oh well. Thanks for your help. Denette

I have to agree w/ your friend about margarine. It is one molecule away from being plastic. Yuck!

You'll either hurt her feeling now or destroy your friendship later, have a heart to heart with her now she is out of control .. poison!!!very strange.

Good point sagebrush!! And as far as her calling the creamer poison like arsenic, I suggested to my DH that I drink the whole bottle in front of her to test to see if I would survive the "poisoning". But of course it was in jest as I don't want to make fun of her beliefs even if it is a lie. She asked if I would put the design on the cake she gets from the other source, an intricate Flower of Life design that I had perfected on practise cakes. I said that wouldn't be possible cause it needs a really flat surface, a crusting buttercream, etc. Plus she would have to get extra frosting from them. A PITA. But last night I was thinking later I may offer to make a poison 10 " cake with her design on just for looks and would take it home myself. It is a relief to have it done with. It's too bad cause I really enjoyed making a friends wedding cake 2 years ago but she didn't micromanage like this one. Thanks again.

You are probably right in trying to avoid the whole thing blowing up in your face. I was thinking that she wanted you to decorate because of your skills and the coop probably makes yummy stuff but doesn't decorate any where near like you do. I wonder if the coop could give just baked cakes in the sizes you would need to level and complete your design and icing in a bucket for you to use. I made vegan crusting buttercream( my version of Sugarshack's) and it's yummy too. It behaives just like any ordinary buttercream. It's nice of you to consider helping your friend. If it doesn't work out I hope she is understanding of why and can take it in stride and still maintain your friendship and have a wonderful wedding. Cheers to you!

I have some friends who are omnivores, some with allergies, yet others who are vegetarians (two of whom are vegans).
It's just food, no need to have it get in the way of friendships.
We have potlucks instead of dinner parties cooked by only one person and it all works out fine.
Have a good time at the wedding!

forgive me, but your friend sounds like a nut! and high maintenance to boot! the worst customers, we can all agree... I understand gluten/dairy free concerns.. and i in fact specialize in all organic cakes... but no on is gonna go to the hospital because they ate a cake that had dairy in it.. sheesh....

I don't see a problem with her requests, but i'm used to baking cakes that way.. if it bothers you that much, give her the boot! sounds like you might end up resenting this cake anyway if you go ahead with it... Maybe tell her thanks, but no thanks.

Geeze Louise!!!! Not good...

Jen