HELP FAST! Bridezilla called, how would you handle this? - Page 4  

Let him who never once robbed Peter to pay Paul be the first to speak...

Yep. Ya know what is really fascinating to watch? The couple down the street who took part in the new bank bailout, er, I mean "cash4clunkers" program. Those people had their vehicles paid for. Low insurance, no payments....now one month in, and they're back to pinching pennies. Registration on a new car...woooooo boy! Kinda like, "wait a minute....what did I just do?!?!?" Suckers.

At least they have a new "green" car though. Yay environment!

Whoops...sorry, this had nothing to do with the OP. Just sticking my 1.5 cents in where it don't fit...

When I was a girl I dreamed of going to Sam's to get my wedding cake...

I have to get in on the EBT talk. I am a "buyer" I can admit But they have so much EBT and they love to sell it. I have a family member that has 4 step-ladder kids and she gets almost $800 a month in EBT. WTF??? Who eats that much, and her kids are 5,3,1,and a few months. How can they eat that much food? (and they are all disgustingly fat) They have lobster night, crableg night, etc, and the kids eat junk all day everyday. The system is very flawed as far as amounts that they get for "X" amount of children regadless of age. But I'll only buy if there is something going on like a family gathering, etc. You can't beat getting $200 worth of TAX FREE groceries for $100 cash!

just as a fact point, on the other side of the ebt, it doesn't just have to be WELFARE money. It can be child support, unemployment, or disability.

So, I don't get it, are we supposed to feel sorry for her? I am not saying that sarcastically at all.

What I meant by self denial is that some folks (not all) think that life just won't be the same if they don't have certain things that truly are luxuries. Yeah, it would be great if everyone enjoyed a luxury every now and again, no doubt.
But the fact is that we (society) can do with out a lot of the things we have or think are important and be just fine. That's my only point to that statement.

Do I understand that when one needs assistance you fill out forms and basically say-- this is what I have and we can't get by on it. We need help.

Is that the basics of it?

Please correct me if I misunderstand (again no sarcasm intended).

Lots of us juggle bills all the time. I see that as different from going in and saying "I can't make it with the amount, I need help to get by". That's what makes it beyond their means, needing someone to buy her wedding cake with food stamps because her funds are low makes it beyond her means. I don't see that as within any bounds of her ability to pay.

Just because a person can do something doesn't make it the best choice. Sometimes it's about doing the right thing when no one is watching.

I think it would be different if someone needed food or needed help with something essential. Honestly, I make money from making cakes but these cakes are not essential to anyone's life. Nice, yes but not essential.

Heck, my mom was a struggling single parent. We got a box mix and canned frosting in a pyrex dish with a few candles-- we had very happy bdays!

I mean I would be ashamed to get assistance.
It would kill my capitalistic little ego.

Back yonder long ago I did go get help once on my electric bill--omg I nearly died. Decided I'd rather not have utilities as go through that again.

But whatever.

No I don't feel sorry for her but neither do I begrudge her nor take out the angst of our mightily flawed system on her shoulders alone.

It's not your first choice? News flash--it wasn't hers either huh.

@K8 - yeah, I'm not apologizing. I didn't take your sentence out of context. Your usage of the words "food stamps" in the sentence was incorrect. You even owned up to it. (The "I stand corrected" comment.)
If you think it was out of context, oh, well.

@mandyloo - thanks for the correction! That is correct. I'll admit I wasn't sure if "welfare" was the correct term. I just knew that "food stamps" was not.

Seeing as this is not getting OF, I'm out. Dealing with online drama is not worth my time or effort.

This is annoying and wrong.

The op said the bride used food stamps, I used her terminology but I clearly clarified my thoughts in that same post, twice.

My gist of my post was clearly misquoted.

Oh my oh my what have we here?

Just start the drama and run off huh.

Somehow you could see that coming.

@k8 - Dude, are you freaking kidding me?

Whatever preceived notion you may have of me, that is something you have to deal with. Is it my fault that you incorrectly structured your original response to which I responded? No, it was yours, and I am not apologizing for your faulty grammar structure.

My decision to leave a conversation that no longer has anything to do with the original topic, seems logical. To stick around with the possiblity of only getting further attacked by some online person borders on sadomachism, which I do not take part in. I have people in real life that I can do that with, but chose not to.

You are not the only one on this forum that for the most part is fairly easy to get along with, but also has strong opinions. To think that you can tell someone how they need to act, feel or respond is quite childish on your behalf. If you want me to stick around for a couple more rounds of this, let's go. I don't believing in fighting - thus my original decision to leave - but if you seek me out, you'll find me.

And for the record, you are the one that started this pseudo-drama. You called me out for supposedly taking your sentence out of context. Learn how properly structure paragraphs and then come back to me.

To OP: the deposit is non refundable so I would explain to her that she is entitled to a cake in that amount and that's it, she's not getting anything back. I hope it works out for you without too much stress

As to the ensuing debates on what is moral, accepted, etc. I read an article in the newspaper awhile ago, it was about a homeless couple that had been together for 9 yrs in and out of shelters and had never married due to lack of funds. the shelter they frequented threw them a luxurious wedding with a fancy dress and tux, the church was decorated to the max and reception in a fancy hotel ballroom, tons of flowers and hair and makeup for the bride. The did it all with donations given to the shelter. The only thing that came to mind for me was why didn't they take all that money they wasted and help them get a decent apartment or a job/education!?!? why waste money like that! I was totally appalled. I'm also a property manager and a few of my tenants are on gov't assistance for their rent. One single mother in particular really shocks me because out of her entire $1100 rent, she only pays $53 yet for every holiday/season change, her entire yard and apartment is decorated with all sorts of seasonal decorations and tons of flowering baskets, etc etc. The stuff costs a fortune yet she can only afford to pay $53 for rent.

Since this has gone a bit off the OP I think it would be a good time to lock the thread. Thanks everyone!