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Bride is so angry.. asking for a full refund.. LONG story :( - Page 2

post #16 of 112
8/26/09 at 2:22pm
Wrecks happen to the best. You've got your big girl panties on already. icon_wink.gif Just have to dive in and get through it. The bride wants to hear your apology for not delivering the cake she was hoping for on her most important day. I would go one further if possible and make a perfect mini to give her. Also don't forget your mutual friend as her reputation was also on the line. Just try not to get to down on yourself. You have fabulous cakes in your future. Just handle this situation with grace and sincere remorse and you'll get on to much better days. thumbs_up.gif
¢¾Sarah
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¢¾Sarah
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post #17 of 112
8/26/09 at 2:26pm
Being totally honest, i can feel for both sides. If i were the bride, i would have been angry, too.

But we need to remember that one negative person can do more harm than 100 happy ones can do good!!

i would much rather her say you fixed it than you ran from it.

i agree, stand up to the problem and be as professional as possible. Make an angry woman as happy as possible...
A GOOD MOM LETS YOU LICK THE BEATERS,
A GREAT MOM TURNS THE MIXER OFF FIRST!!
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A GOOD MOM LETS YOU LICK THE BEATERS,
A GREAT MOM TURNS THE MIXER OFF FIRST!!
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post #18 of 112
8/26/09 at 2:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by matthewkyrankelly

iThis is like pulling a band-aid. the idea is worse than reality. Just talk to her, face-to-face, and tell her it was a slow disaster. When she says,"why didn't you call?" Tell her you thought it would work out like it usually does. It didn't. Tell her she got the trainwreck and it is truly the worst of your work.

The one thing I can tell you about people, is that 90% of people melt a little when you throw yourself on the mercy of the court. It sounds like you want to give her the $ back. OK. It will be 100 times better after this little 5 minute conversation. Otherwise, you will forever be the horrible cake person, not the cake person who just had a bad day at her wedding.



I have to agree with this. 1) you have to FACE her. 2) DON"T be afraid to cry. 3) Give her the money back. 4) Write an email and apologize. It might be easier to write it than say it.
-- Always have a Plan B. --

"Freedom is Popular" - Ron Paul

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-- Always have a Plan B. --

"Freedom is Popular" - Ron Paul

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post #19 of 112
8/26/09 at 2:35pm
Ahhh sweetie I am so sorry this happened to you! I have been there, done that icon_rolleyes.gif Even though we know it happens to just about everyone at least once, that probably doesn't make you feel any better right now.

If you think you can talk to her either in person or on the phone then do so. If the idea of facing her is giving you a panic attack and you don't think you could get thru the conversation then email the bride. Apologize profusely that the cake did not turn out how she wanted. Do not go into reasons about the humidity or not enough time. Those will just sound like excuses. Just flat out apologize.

Then tell her you are sending her a full refund in the mail. Send it certified mail so that you can confirm that she received it.

I would also (again) talk to R and apologize profusely to her too.

Hugs and good luck. Please let us know what happens.
Tact is telling someone where to go so nicely they can't wait to take the trip!
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Tact is telling someone where to go so nicely they can't wait to take the trip!
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post #20 of 112
8/26/09 at 2:50pm
This is my worst cake nightmare. Well, there is another one - perfect cake, and when I deliver it, I have either slam brakes in my car or trip at the last step.

In such case, you have to do a damage control. You have to forget the cost, the work and your feelings and simply to give the refund. After this, you can only hope THIS was your big disaster. It is waiting for all of us and only the lucky ones can avoid it...

From what you wrote, it IS possible to clear it in writing. Write a nice letter, ask for bank transfer details or send a check straight away.

As for your friend - call her and calmly explain what happened. Good friend will understand that disaster happen. Explain why you hasn't call with warning. I say this was an error. I understand it - you hope till the very last moment it will be OK and than there isn't time, but it still was an error in your judgment of the situation.
Pity you probably lost a good opportunity, but such is the life. Stick to your good work and another one will come.

Doing business professionally means that sometimes you have to accept failure, sometimes due to circumstances you cannot influence. You have to take your loss and move forward.

Good luck in the future!
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post #21 of 112
8/26/09 at 2:50pm
Refund the money. It's not that big of deal, cause you know what? Stuff happens. A little of my does feel, and this is in no way a reflection of your skill, she paid for what she got.
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post #22 of 112
8/26/09 at 2:51pm
First of all...it's ok to cry out of frustration...but not because you think you are a bad person or ruined anyone's life. You did not hurt anyone, you did not do anything that will cause someone irrepairable harm. You made a bad cake under bad circumstances. It happens. It's frustrating for you and the bride, but it's not the end of anyone's world.

You are not selling dreams....you are not selling happy ending fairy tales and marital bliss.....you are selling cake. Give her a refund, apologize, and let that be the end of it.
You don't HAVE a soul, you ARE a soul...you HAVE a body. C.S. Lewis
I'd rather see badly done cake than well done styrofoam.
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You don't HAVE a soul, you ARE a soul...you HAVE a body. C.S. Lewis
I'd rather see badly done cake than well done styrofoam.
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post #23 of 112
8/26/09 at 3:12pm
You've gotten tons of great advice about the refund/dealing w/ the bride, etc. icon_biggrin.gif My advice is to purchase a de-humidifier. They really save the day on those rainy days (or, since I'm in Georgia, every day in the summer).
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post #24 of 112
8/26/09 at 3:22pm
Gosh, you poor thing! I can imagine how you felt, being under the gun to deliver this cake, especially on behalf of your friend, and nothing working right for you.

Just so you know you're not alone, here's one of my stories. I wasn't at this wedding (had 3 that weekend), but my on-site supv told me there was a problem with the chicken and I'd probably get a call from the bride. She described the dish and it sounded just awful! We backtracked what happened, and put corrective actions in place to avoid it in the future.

The bride emailed me after her honeymoon. It was a very well written and well thought out email ... just stated the facts and the problems she observed. I called her (didnt' email ... called) and she was relieved to hear (1) I was already aware of the problem (2) had already determined the cause and fixed it internally (3) that I agreed with her that it shouldn't have happened (4) was more than willing to a partial refund.

Then .... I forgot to mail her the check! icon_surprised.gif She left me a VM to follow up. I felt horrible! Called her .... admitted my mistake and accepted her offer of her coming by the shop to get the check.

When she pickd up the check, I apologized again, and I complimented her on how she handled the situation. I recognized that she was uncomfortable making a complaint "...because none of us LIKE doing that..." and I thanked her for giving us the opportunity to make it right with her.

She left the shop after telling me she had about 3 friends getting married and she has already referred them to me.

I'm sorry for how long this got, but I wanted to share that it can work out ok. Much as we hate going thru it, it can end up ok.

It's ok to feel bad about the cake. But remember, the true test of customer service is not how you handle the initial sale .... but how you handle any problems that come up AFTER the sale. thumbs_up.gif
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Cake Cutting Guide: http://cateritsimple.blogspot.com/search/label/cake%20comb
http://www.flickr.com/photos/55969028@N00/
www.cateritsimple.blogspot.com
http://debiswritingcollection.blogspot.com/
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post #25 of 112
8/26/09 at 3:29pm
Spoken like a true professional Indydebi.....
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post #26 of 112
8/26/09 at 3:35pm
Problems after the sale....exactly.
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post #27 of 112
8/26/09 at 6:07pm
I agree with Cakemom777 and IndyDebi. The cake did not ruin her wedding, but it was a disappointment for her (and, by the sounds of it, a nightmare for you). BTW: I live in Hamilton, and I remember the weekend weather. Yuck!

And, you need to take care of it now ... don't put if off, because the longer you wait (a) the worse you'll feel; (b) the harder it will be to do; and (c) she'll think you're ignoring her, which will make her even more defensive when you do call. And you need to follow-up with your friend as well. I'm sure she won't 'not' recommend you in the future, but you need to let her know how you handled it. It's not just your ability, but your CREDIBILITY, that is at stake.

{HUGS}
Always be sincere ... whether you mean it or not!

Everything slows down with age ... except the time it takes for cake to reach your hips!!
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Always be sincere ... whether you mean it or not!

Everything slows down with age ... except the time it takes for cake to reach your hips!!
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post #28 of 112
8/26/09 at 7:36pm
Thread Starter 
thank you for all your advice and encouragement - you guys really are the best. this has been my worst nightmare come true. i read about the other cake disasters in hopes that i would be able to save myself if i were ever in that situation and keep hoping that it won't happen to me, and unfortunately it has and i drew blanks about how to go about it. i mean, even after reading everyone's responses my head is still a complete mess about it, but as I want to get this over and done with, this is the response I have come up with.

"I am extremely sorry about the cake. I know it didn't turn out the way you wanted it - it definitely did not turn out the way I had planned. I don't want to get into the details of what and how things went wrong that day, but I do want you to know that I feel absolutely terrible about what happened and am more than willing to refund your money. If you wanted me to transfer the money you can give me the information or I can send a cheque by xpresspost if you wanted to give me an address to mail it to.
I hope that this does not affect your relationship with R - we both know she wouldn't have referred me to you if she didn't believe that I would do a job well done and I'll admit I am even more ashamed of my work because it was a referral from her. Unfortunately things hadn't worked out in my favour that day and I want you to know how horrible I feel about it."

i'm trying to sound professional about it, but at the same time i don't want to sound like i have no feelings and i've been sitting here for half an hour staring at this and i dont know what to do about it. too short? not enough apologizing? should i go more into detail? i dont know. how shold i end/finish it off?

i've got a headache from stressing about this - i know i shouldn't because it happens to everyone - but that's just the kinda person i am. i can't help but worry when i've dissappointed a lot of people, myself included. but i will try to remember to post pics of my other work - i know i can do better and wish more than anything in this world that i had a time machine so i could fix it. i'm just so ashamed. i've been wanting to stop making wedding cakes (and other important cakes) for a while now because I keep stressing, and this disaster is just helping me realize i should just stick to smaller cakes. bahhh.

[editing to say that i've uploaded some of my pictures.. i dont want to be cocky, but i know i can do a good job. and although i know we're all our harshest critics, i know that i didn't do a job well done, which is why i'm freaking and stressing out about this whole situation icon_cry.gif]
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post #29 of 112
8/27/09 at 12:53am
I think the tone of her email in your OP sounds more than reasonable considering. I would keep the apology short and simple and about her, not you or what your reasons were. Simply apologise that your work was sub-standard, there was no way you were going to ring her on her wedding to tell her YOU were having a bad day and tell her you sincerely hope that the memories of her day will not be marred by the cake. I personally would hand deliver a cash refund with a really nice bunch of flowers.

Break down with your friend R and give her all the gory details - I guarantee you the bride will hear it all from her! I'm kinda with Texas_Rose about your friend getting you to do a cake on the cheap, but then again if your friendship with her is important to you, you might want to send her a surprise bunch of flowers with an apology because she was embarrassed. This will break the ice with her, then invite her over for a few vinnos and laugh it off!
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." Mae West.
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"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." Mae West.
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post #30 of 112
8/27/09 at 1:03am
Honestly, I think you come off a little too apologetic. I know you feel horrible, but you honestly don't have to tell her that repeatedly. icon_biggrin.gif

Taking an editorial eye to it:

Dear Bride:

Please accept my heartfelt apologies. This cake was not up to my standards and I am truly sorry that it did not meet your expectations.

I will be issuing a full refund. If you would like me to transfer the money, I can do so, or, if you prefer, I can send a cheque by xpresspost. Please let me know which refund method you prefer, along with the transfer information or mailing address, and I will issue the refund immediately.

I hope that this does not affect your relationship with R. She wouldn't have made the referral if she didn't believe that I could do the work.

My sincerest apologies,
mandice
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