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Why don't people watch their children? ARRGH - Page 2

post #16 of 139
I love you Evoir, I will applaud you all day every day, I promise. If you want to be free loving parent, and you have an angel fine, I don't care how you handle it as long as the behavior is corrected and STOPPED. Short of slap across the face or obvious abuse I'm all about letting you handle your kids anyway you want.
Being up to my elbows in cream sounded a lot more glamorous!
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Being up to my elbows in cream sounded a lot more glamorous!
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post #17 of 139
its easy to give advice on parenting, especially when they aren't your kids.


Now to say i don't blame the op for being upset with this other mother. Sometimes you need to know when to find a sitter or leave the child at home.
post #18 of 139
I TOTALLY agree.....I have raised 3 of my own and since I have rean a daycare for 28 years, a MULTITUDE of other children also. Evoir is right on the money with her post. PERIOD. If you set boundries and teach respect from day one, you have children that listen and are pleasant to be around the rest of their growing years. Will they occasionally act out? Yes, but they also know there will be repercussions for their actions and they learn from it.

My parents are always amazed at how well their children listen and behave when they are with me ......and ask why can't they be that way at home??? (hmmm....maybe because you have said "if you do that one more time 10 times already!!! icon_mad.gif ) Say it ONCE and mean it.

Can you tell what my pet peeves are??? icon_wink.gif Don't even get me started on the monster children in a restaurant.

I would be the mean cake lady at the party too!
Knowledge is a candle that when shared, doubles the light, but the insecure person believes knowledge is a candle that is diminished when it is split between two wicks.
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Knowledge is a candle that when shared, doubles the light, but the insecure person believes knowledge is a candle that is diminished when it is split between two wicks.
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post #19 of 139
I had a brother who was like that child, even though we had a strict upbringing. Some children are going to get into things no matter what the parents do. However, moms know when their child is like that and this mom should have made certain the cake was out of reach of those grimey little hands! My mother would take my brother home or away from the party if he didn't behave. Now, after saying that, my brother is getting pay back with his grandson (and there's another one on the way)! As my dad used to say - "REVENGE!"
post #20 of 139
we tell our kids the reason we don't all eat out is because they don't consistantly behave at home-why would i take them out where we will be judged by our kids behaviour if they aren't going to act properly (okay, not never but it's been a long time-plus it's expensive with 4 kids and 2 adults) a nice restaurant requires nice behaviour, polite manners and if i feel my kids aren't up to behaving (moods, day whatever) they aren't going. you shouldn't drag your kids out just because you want to go.
wisdom is knowledge put into action
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wisdom is knowledge put into action
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post #21 of 139
I think what you said was fine. I have three kids, 9, 8, & 6 and they would NEVER touch other people's food...not even when they were 3...they just knew/know better! Like lots of posters have said, once maybe but twice...if my kid had touched it once you can bet he'd have been sitting right there with me for the rest of the event....

They are just lucky that you were returning to the event and were able to fix it...had it been a client cake they'd have been out of luck, so they should be greatful for that, even if you are a 'bitchy cake lady'...I'd be too!
post #22 of 139
I've told this story here before.
We were at our niece's wedding where there were several children--mostly little girls in frilly dresses-- running in and out around the tables. I happened to be standing next to the wedding cake when they ran into the cake table and knocked the darn thing over. To the floor. I looked down and saw cake and icing all over my shoes. Several of us blocked the bride's view of the disaster while the staff cleaned up the mess. The bride was a very good sport about it. No tantrum. She even laughed when she was told later on. (The little girls were on the groom's side.)

The worst part was that I didn't get to eat wedding cake. The venue, also a regular restaurant, substituted cheesecake. Cheesecake is good, but it's not cake.
post #23 of 139
The parent should have been watching the child, PERIOD! It was just plain disrespectful -of the parent. You have to teach your children from the begining.

I have a toddler and like another post said, I'm on her like "white on rice" all the time. Not because she's bad, because she 2 1/2 and she's learning the rules and it's for her safety. However, at 2 1/2 she's more well behaved than most kids I see. We take her everywhere with us, but she doesn't behave like a wild animal. If we are at a resturant and she acts up, we correct her or someone is going to the car, we've done it several times, and when we ask her if she wants to go to the car, she knows we're serious. The other people are there expecting to have a nice dinner and I'm not going to allow my child to annoy them. She also doesn't run around in a store - any store - like a little maniac. If they aren't taught by the parents, they don't know any different. You want to give me a "look" because I corrected my child's behavior in public, go ahead, but don't you dare stick your nose in my business to raise a polite, well mannered child and expect that I'm not going to have a few words regarding your behavior as well. This, however has never happened, I have been, on many occasions, complimented (by older couples mostly) for how well behaved my child is.

My daughter loves to help mommy cook and bake and I let her, I'm hoping she's going to want to do it for years to come. But, when things are done and there's a cake - NO TOUCHING, and I only have to tell her once. But she's 2 so I tell her each time, sometimes she tells me, "Mommy I not touch". thumbs_up.gif
post #24 of 139
How your child reacts in a public stituation is a direct reflection of how you are as a parent. Kids get into things, we all understand that, but if it happens twice, to bad you suck, as bad as your kid. Go ahead all rip away. The greatest thing you can do as a parent is raise a well respected child, who is respectful, and aware of other people's feelings.

Mike
post #25 of 139
I am lucky that my kids are respectful towards other people and their things. My daycare kids are treated the same way that I treated my own kids and I have parents who don't agree with how I run my household & my DC business and those parents & kids don't last long. I have strict rules and guidelines for the kids safety, my safety (and sanity) but also for my home. I had one parent (a mom of an 18 month old boy) who offered me a pamphlet on childhood discipline and behaviour for 18-24 months olds. Excuse me? For this I apply the immortal words of Indydebi: "NEXT!"

Parents need to stop trying to be friends with their kids and be the parent. My DD is 15, we have a great relationship, a lot better than I had with my mom at her age. But she knows and wants me to be her mom, not her friend.
BAZINGA ~ Dr. Sheldon Cooper
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BAZINGA ~ Dr. Sheldon Cooper
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post #26 of 139
I agree--some events you just shouldnt take a child to. You know kids get bored and will want to start acting out-not always because their bad but because their bored!!!

We were at the SA Zoo this passed weekend. We walked by a family. The little kids probably about 4 and 6 threw both of their water bottles at my daughter's feet. She tripped and I told her to pick the bottles up and give them back to the kids. She did so. When we walked off my 12 yr old heard one of the mother's saying "Boy that mom is mean". My 12 yr old turned around, smiled at the lady and told her "Yeah, but we all know not to throw something at some one walking by". LOL When she came and old me I almost fell over with pride! My 12 yr old finally realized why I tell them things all the time.

My MIL says I am to strict with my kids and step children. But I dont care what she says because unlike her I am THERE raising them not in the bars.

I would have said something to the mother as well. Who cares what those ppl thought about you! They dont know how long it took to make it, ice it, and decorate. It was what 5-6 hours of work? Maybe more?
I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
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I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
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post #27 of 139
Our son--the youngest-- is about to graduate high school. A school employee just told me how polite and respectful he is. I almost burst at the seams with pride. I'm glad he's using his "company manners" especially at school!
When I told the story to our family, our 22-year old said to us, "That's one thing you really did right. [Only one?, we asked] You made sure we used manners and were polite. Now I hate being with people with bad manners."
I heard the Hallelujah chorus!!!!! The big pay-off!! They do get it!!!!!
post #28 of 139
I'm with you and I have four kids! If they can't keep their hands to themselves and I'm incapable of watching them then they need to stay home! I did a wedding cake for a friend and they placed it in a gazebo. No big deal, until they decided to put bowls of candy all around the cake! Where do you suppose was the most popular place at the reception? At that point I figured the important people had seen the cake and I'd been paid. I wasn't going to stress about it. But had my bride not seen it yet I would have been up there with a broom! lol
Fran
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Fran
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post #29 of 139
MEAN CAKE LADIES UNITE!

I am as mother of a 3 year old and an 18 month old, and my husband works nights. SO he leaves before dinner hits the table, so for all practical purposes I am a single mom. And my kids won't even touch their own food with their hands, let alone someone elses food! Because we all know all the germ infested places a kids hands can be! NASTY!
Jasper says Relax.

One thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain.
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Jasper says Relax.

One thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain.
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post #30 of 139
I am sooo there with y'all!!! An ill-behaved child is an abomination - but like a badly behaved pet, it's the person in charge that is even more at fault. When I was little my grandmother would tell me when we entered a store "Let me hold your hand." I looked up at her and said "I hold my hand" and I sure enough did - through the whole of the store! I didn't touch a thing besides the opposite hand.

No, I do not have children - but to the folks claiming "well you don't have kids - what do you know!?" crowd - screw that! I made my spending money in High School babysitting, I worked the summer between h.s. & college at a daycare, I've taken Child Psychology, I've been a well-behaved child and one of my dear friends ALWAYS knew that when they left their only child in my care, the rules would be followed, she would be loved and appropriately spoiled w/books and hockey games. Just because I didn't pop an 8 pounder or few out of my v-j-j doesn't mean I'm incapable of understanding children/parenting. Trust me, there are way TOO many folks out there having kids because they can not because they should. Oh, and to boot - I spent a year w/my ex boyfriend and his three teenagers. Two of them were out of control w/drugs/alcohol (courtesy of both the parents' lax attitudes and the whole "friends" instead of parents...) and the youngest one might make it to functional adulthood w/o rehab being mandated. I spent a year in the trenches. So don't go there w/me because I don't have children of my own.

I, too, would be happy to be the cake b*tch if it comes down to it. Even when I'm not there on a cake-related purpose, badly behaved kids and their parents get the stink-eye from me. And I more than happily commend parents of well-behaved kiddos.

W.
Cake decorating/designing is 'gateau' fabulous!
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Cake decorating/designing is 'gateau' fabulous!
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