I live in a small town. A friend told me she was with some other women, and they were talking about making a cake for some party. One of the women said she knew where they could get any supplies they needed.....that "Stacy" (that would be me) would "hook us up" and let us borrow anything - pans, decorating supples.

Ummmm, I don't think so! Not only did they not ask me, but they were sure I would be fine with it!

And then I had another woman in town email me to ask if I could teach her a few decorating tricks. I asked her if there was something specific she wanted to learn, and she said she wanted to do a wedding cake but wasn't sure where to start. I asked her if she had any experience and she said never! How much time do you think it's going to take me to teach you how to do a wedding cake?

People can be really dense.

Here's another spin on solving this problem.

Ever notice how no matter how well you follow a recipe, it just never comes out like the orignal chef's creation? I'll be the first to admit if someone hounds me enough, I'll GLADLY give out my recipe...just not the complete one (I know I'm horrid, aren't I...well, they should get the point the first time I say no). Anyway, a tsp may accidentally get written down as a Tbsp, I may forget to tell you it's baking powder instead of baking soda. Not enough to be a disaster (depending on the ingredient) but enough to let you know, you still don't have the recipe and enough to make you feel like you're too slow to follow a recipe.

Tita!!! You vicious little kinip! (Evil grin spreading across my face ) Love it!!!


Yah know SpringFlour has something there!

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpringFlour

I shared the Darn Good Chocolate cake from Cake Dr. with a friend (who eventually ended up buying the book) She served the cake at her house and it wasn't good. Frequently even if you do share a recipe, it won't be as good as when you make it yourself. I wouldn't want someone who hadn't had my cake to know it was my recipe. Not good for my reputation.

I'm not worried about anyone saying, "That nasty, yucky cake so-and-so made...it was Tita's recipe". I'd shake my head and say, "Hmmm, something just doesn't taste right. Mine never comes out like that? Did you forget something". Everyone who knows me knows I don't share my recipes and I am very forthcoming that if I've given you one of my "signature" recipes, beware!

Ya'll are funny . Even thought I do give the correct recipe, I know that the people in my circle couldn't make it the way that I can .

Each baker is different. My grandmother used to say that some hairdressers have "growing hands"while others make your hair fall out.... I think it's the same for bakers.

Yup! And same goes for gardeners. I have a Super Black thumb! LOL

I have a story very similar to Katiesmom, ironic that I am also a Katie's mom! My best friend's mother after seeing several of the cakes I have made decided that "cake decorating isn't hard" and is planning to make a wedding cake for a woman at church. She actually asked to borrow my pans, asked for the receipes I use and for me to come over and help her bake - all free of charge of course. I am going to be out of town that weekend.......

I killed a cactus, how's that for a black thumb?

I'm the same....my thumb is coal black!! And sarahcupcake...I don't blame you for high tailing it that weekend. You would have probably ended up doing the entire cake...while she "learned".

I don't mind teaching...just don't assume that I will be available or want to teach that person. Your friends mom overstepped a little for promising to make a wedding cake without asking you IF you could help her, first.

Haven't read all the posts because of three kids climbing on me... But I emailed a lady who had made my friends wedding cake on the other side of the country to ask if she would share her recipe, and she emailed back and politely said no, they were family recipes that she had spent a lot of time perfecting for her business. So I emailed back and said put me on your list for when you decide to sell a cookbook! I hope I didn't offend her by asking. She did kindly confirm that it had a layer of almond paste under the fondant and what kind of cake it was (cherry almond pound cake) and I just went online and found a recipe and used that. Not as good as hers, but I was the only one who knew that. If I developed my own private recipe and was using it in a business, I don't think I would feel too bad about not sharing it. Maybe I'd promise to publish it in my will!

i had a friend today who saw a recipe i had sitting out on my desk i swear i could see her reading it and memorizing it as i spoke , she isnt a cake maker and decides to tell me that 'thats too much rum for that filling'.. geez do i need to hide my recipes at all times???
and what do you know? dont you dare tell me my recipe has too much of something, i made it up to me its perfect! and this is a girl who thinks that she is going to 'go into business with me some day?' and is going to pick up all my tricks and use my recipes that i am going to spend all the time creating ?... wasnt too happy

CarrieBear, nothing like telling Betty Crocker how to bake, huh?! Some people!!

I guess I better wake up and stop sharing my original recipes Especially if I plan to do a cookbook one day.

The only thing is that cooking and baking are hobbies and a joy for me. I really don't mind sharing but I know how some people can steal your recipe and try to pass it off as their own . That's if they have "Baking Hands" and can get it right

I won't share recipes with people in my hometown, though. To make a long story short...I think they have taken enough from me.

sheeeesh, and you know what had been a taste thing i would have respected her opinion and thought, hmm maybe i need to tweek this, but she has never had it before ever and jus saw it on paper, hmmm if she knew anything she would have known most of that alcohol was going to cook out anyway.. some peoples kids man..

Well, I read the whole thing and let me tell you, I don't agree, there are a lot of recipes that are dying out, because of mothers and grandmas that wont share a recipe they are taking them to the grave and that is very sad I think.
I am a traditional kind of mom, so I wrote my recipes for my kids and they are in the kitchen, for anybody to read, hopefully one day they will share with my grandkids. but the best thing is that they already know them cause they cook with me everyday.
As for other people, I am a teacher and I share everything I know with my students and people who ask me.

Patty*

CakeladyatLA - I think it's been pretty much agreed upon that sharing recipes isn't bad, it's sharing recipes with people who demand them, won't use them, and/or will blab about them that is regretable. I think most of us are happy to share with family/friends or people who will put the recipe to good use and see it's value.

I totally get if your in business not sharing recipes, makes total sense and I would never even ask someone who was in business for the recipe.
However what happened to me just made me think the old woman was a bat.

I went to a different country to visit one of our sales managers in that country, he took us to meet his whole family, had a family dinner and everything.
His mom offered me some cookies that were delicious.
She kept feeding them to me every time I went over there.
I explained to her that I like to bake and would she mind giving me the recipe/

Mind you now, She is in her late 50s, I was 25 at the time.
No one else in her family even likes to cook.
She lives in Italy and I live in the US.
She pretended like she didn't hear me, so I asked her again the next day, and she ignored the question again.

Now that to me is just being a grouch.
What kind of competition could I be to her even socially? im in a different continent for pete's sake.

ok well geez the least she could have done is acknowledged you and politely say no Im sorry.
I wouldnt do that to some one, I would atleast apologize and explain why and hope they understand.

" Classic! You could be a moon man leaving the solar system for good and they would still not share! It's a real thing of pride to make something extremely well (she kept giving the cookies to garner praise, of course!) and if the Good Lord hopped off His cross and asked a dear Italian woman for her recipe, I think she'd still tell Him where to stick it! Just like my grandmothers, these little ladies are STUBBORN!"




HAHA! love it

I do cakes for fun, not as a business. That being said, last year a friend calls me on a Sunday and asks if I can make her son's grooms cake for Saturday. We talked for 15 minutes all about the cake. It was to be a 2 tiered carrot cake with a tuxedo design. At the end of the conversation, she asks how much it would cost. She insisted on an estimate so she could tell her husband. I said it would probably be $50 (which I know is next to nothing). At this point, the conversation changed. She then said that her daughter could probably make the cake if she was getting in town early enough. She asked if I would share my carrot cake recipe. I said I'd be happy to email it to her. It was no skin of my nose.

That Friday, I get home at 5pm to have my husband say that this friend has called twice and would I please call. I called and found out that they were on their third attempt to make this cake and that it wasn't turning out right. The recipe I sent was correct, so I have NO IDEA what the problem was. I couldn't help but think that they had spent at least $50 in ingredients to make it so many times.

So, just because they have the recipe does not mean they can duplicate.

--Kari

She could have at least acknowledged your question, Auryn. Geeze...It wouldn't have killed her to share the recipe being as though you live on a different continent!!! I agree with CookieMakinMama, she probably kept giving the cookies to you to get a little braggadocious of her skills (she liked the praise).

And Kari...I bet your friend wishes she would have let you make the cake as she had originally planned

haha! braggadocious good word,
yeah she probably spent more on messing up the recipe than if she had just had you do it.

My little old Italian mother and her sisters will not share the family recipes with anyone outside the family. They got them from their mother, who must have guarded them very carefully. And those of us who are lucky enough to have them have been sworn to secrecy. So, if anyone asks for a recipe, I tell them the truth. The only way to get them is to marry into this nutty family. (That's a high price to pay for a recipe!)
Blood is thicker than water.