I've never thought of that either. I can't imagine a couple saying "If we invite 300 people, and each of them gives us $50, and we budget $10,000 for the wedding...we'll be making $5,000!" A new all-time-high in tackiness!
I was invited to a wedding and told by the bride to give $100 cash AND a gift.... 
I did not attend that wedding! 
Come on. Give me her email addy. I will send her a link and ruin her day! 
Really, I don't mind taking one for the team! rofl
I respond to all emails that I receive. If I get an email that asks 9 thousand questions, blah blah blah like this one and doesn't give a date I will send a reply something like:
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. It is an exciting time and a busy one. Please let me know what date and venue you have chosen and I will check my calender to see if I have that date available. You can reach me at xxx-xxxx. Kindest regards...
Now if I got one just like this I would simply respond with the same congratulations that my prices started at X amount per slice and to call to set up an appointment.
I will not spend time giving estimates to people who have not intention of ordering. Most of my brides don't even ask how much and about 98% that I consult with book.
LOL you would want to tell people that come up with the "generous heart" baloney "my favorite charity will benefit from the generous heart syndrom - that in the form of my horse's stable fees - care to donate to his cause?"
[quote="volleyball47"]its funny how the date says 8-22-08...that was last year
Do people really think about the value of the gifts they may get in comparison to what they are spending per-person at the reception? I've just never heard anyone bring this up except in magz articles. And I can't really say I've met anyone who actually breaks down the total cost of a wedding to a per-person "money spent" to compare it to "gifts rec'd".
Just asking ......
I have a friend from New Jersey who said that in her community it was pretty much expected that the wedding gift should equal the cost of the dinner the guest was being served. (Not that I understand how the guests are expecetd to know how much their dinner cost...) She said that if someone gave a "cheap" gift it was duly noted by the family, and held against them for future reference.
I have a friend from New Jersey who said that in her community it was pretty much expected that the wedding gift should equal the cost of the dinner the guest was being served. (Not that I understand how the guests are expecetd to know how much their dinner cost...) She said that if someone gave a "cheap" gift it was duly noted by the family, and held against them for future reference.
How sad to think that the aunt who lives on Social Security would be ostracized because she gave the couple a "lousy, cheap" set of kitchen towels, instead of the couple being happy that this 80 year old lady thought enough of them to be there and share their very special day.
My most treasured wedding gift was probably the "cheapest" thing on the gift table ... simply because it was from a very, VERY special person in my life.
If someone measures my value to them strictly by the value of a gift to them, then I'm holding it against THEM "for future reference".
It really is sad. I know of people who when they needed to trim down the guest list and it came down to it, the people who would give a better gift were kept on. It's hard NOT to be cynical, no?
It baffles the mind.
On the upside, I am constantly amazed at the generosity of people. I couldn't believe all the kind, thoughtful gifts we recieved for our wedding 6 years ago and when we had our first child last year as well. The best things in life are not bought...
As for the original email...by your "he" reference, I'm assuming it's the groom? I bet the bride has been in charge of spending and he decided to take over "negotiations" when the bills started adding up! 
If someone measures my value to them strictly by the value of a gift to them, then I'm holding it against THEM "for future reference".
You got that right!
I have a friend from New Jersey who said that in her community it was pretty much expected that the wedding gift should equal the cost of the dinner the guest was being served. (Not that I understand how the guests are expecetd to know how much their dinner cost...) She said that if someone gave a "cheap" gift it was duly noted by the family, and held against them for future reference.
If someone measures my value to them strictly by the value of a gift to them, then I'm holding it against THEM "for future reference".
Yes it is very sad that some people guage your presence by your gift. I happen to hear that one of my siblings made a comment on one of our sibling's gift to their daughter's wedding... I was so appalled at it that I told myself that I too got some small gifts but I never made that comment about the gifts. I appreciated them sending me a gift but I appreciated their presence at my wedding more than the value of their gift! Oh some people can really be.... @@##%%!!!
I've never understood that gift value=personal value equation either.
I was shocked when an internet friend told me that in her social and family circle you were EXPECTED to cough up a gift worth a minimum of $100, and in return you EXPECTED a sit down dinner with all the bells and whistles.
WTF? was my response.
Years later, I still can't fathom it. And said friend isn't married, not because she doesn't love her fiance, but because with a mortgage, a new baby and countless other expenses, she's not looking to spend thousands on the wedding that her social circle and family expect.
I keep telling her to elope.
I think that email has been posted here before, at least it sounds very familiar. Personally I think it's part of a scam.
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