Ahhahahahaha! I got another one of these today, and I happily wrote back "would you like the traditional jelly rolls with the cake?" I'm now waiting to see if they do, so that I can ask them which flavor!

Hehehe, you are so bad. Now I'm probably going to do it too if I get one, even though I've said I won't reply. This is just too funny not to!!!

They wrote back, so here's their reply and what I replied:

--- On Tue, 3/24/09, Alex Bryant <[email protected]> wrote:
Hi,

Thanks for getting back to me, i check your website and i find some good cake on your site but i want you to know that a simple of what i want you to bake for me. should i forward you the simple of the cake i have in mind?? i await your reply soon.

Alex.


Well, you were pretty specific in your original email. I enjoy writing on cakes, so "happy married life" is always fun to write, I don't need much more description than that.

The only question I have right now is what flavor of jelly rolls would you like with the cake? They come in both toejam and sparkleberry, but I'd need to know which one you would prefer.



I'm loving this...The next email will be telling them that I only accept cash, and that the charge for the cake will be $90,072.47 paid in advance in pennies.

you guys crack me up

sparkleberry sounds delightful!!!
lol

love it!
can't wait to hear what he replies with.. if at all

You are to funny!! I can't wait for the response.

You are to funny!! I can't wait for the response.

Apparently he hasn't caught on to the sparkleberry thing yet. Here's his reply and mine. I doubt that he'll write back after this.

By the way, I did forward this to my email service as a scam, and I DID NOT open the attachment he mentions. I don't want a computer virus, which is probably another thing they'd try.



--- On Tue, 3/24/09, Alex Bryant <[email protected]> wrote:


Hello,

Thanks for the swift reply to my order request and your concern as well, i want you to know that am very grateful, I will like you to bake me 5teir's of cake, 3 in chocolate cake and 2 in strawberry cake. the filling should be Butter cream and Raspberry, Chocolate Mousse and it should be decorated with roses as seen in the picture i attached ( in the picture what you see on the side of the cake is a polka dot, and i will like the color of the polka dot to be pink color). And you should also have the cake covered in fondant or butter cream to feed 250 people ( I believe the fondant should make the journey), let inscription be writing on one of the cake as *Happy Married life* and i want you to packaged it in a different cake boxes for pick up once its ready.

I want the cake to be ready for pick up time 11 o clock A.M 24th of April 2009. and the shipper will be coming to pick them up for delivery to my wedding reception and i don't want you to be worried about the safety delivery of the cake. Regarding the shipping, I have a shipping agent who will be taking good care of the delivery consignments. The Shipping company will come for the pickup arrangement of the Cake at your location for the pick up date and time. And as I have said, you dont have anything to worry about on the shipping of the cake it will be well secured and in a good condition on arriving the location of my wedding reception, the shipper will be coming with there refrigerator Van for the pick up and it will be ship under the fragile shipping insurance scheme, a friend of mine has used them before for a shipping consignment of this such and they are well secured, reliable and dependable. So I want you to calculate for me what will be the total cost of the cake order including the decoration plus tax if included, and also I want you to add $850 for the cost of the pick up and the shipping, so once I have your reply for the total I will remit my credit card for you to charge for the total cost. so that you can have the order book right away.

And once you have the order in progress, I will provide you the shipper information, and how you will get the shipping fee to the shipper as to confirm the pickup arrangement of the cake. I will offer you an extra $100 for taking care of my order properly and for any less stress you will go through for completing the transaction for me due to my absence. So plus do calculate altogether the total cost of the cake + decoration and tax + $850 for shipping charges, including the $100 am offering you.And get back to me with the total for all, so once i have the total cost i will remit my credit card for you to charge. And you should let me know the type of CC you accept Visa or Master.

I will be waiting to have your reply for the total cost.

Thanks and God bless..
Alex.

Hi-- I'm sorry, I only accept payment in cash when an order is placed less than 10 months away from the wedding date. This is to protect myself from bounced/phony checks and credit card payments that are pulled back by the banks. I'm sure that you understand there are a lot of scammers out there, and we honest people have to watch out for ourselves!

If you would like to send me cash for a total of $8950 ($850 for the shipping, $100 cash that you will give me for my stress, $2000 for a rush fee, plus $6000 for the cake and tax) I will have the cake ready for shipping. By the way, I only ship cakes through Federal Express and only if they use the special self-freezing boxes that are made from stryoplosion reticulating plastic. This is a special plastic that guarantees a safe transfer of the cake. You will need to make arrangements through FedEx for this type of shipping, or I won't be able to guarantee that the cake will get there safely.

OMG costmueczar....I am so jealous of the fun you are having with that idiot....I want some of that action!!

...stryoplosion reticulating plastic..

That's hilarious! I'm thinking you'll hear back that the weddings been called off!!

costumeczar you made my day!!!
I just love that i'm not the only whacked out person in this world!!
Of course after meeting Melvira I knew there was more of us crazies out there, but its so much fun knowing theres "PODS" of us floating around!!
It would be such a boring world if we couldn't have a lil fun now and again!

Get this y'all, he wrote me back and said he hadn't gotten my last email. Funny...I sent it right back by hitting the "reply" button just like the last--how many?--12 times!!! Anyway, I emailed him and told him that I hadn't heard from him and thought he may have gone with someone else. Apparantly he has been hitting up costume czar again. I would love to be there when he gets his cake covered in reticulating styroplastic!!! Is that a plastic made from snakes? Wouldn't the health dept have a problem with that? eeeeuuuwww.....

costumeczar... I humbly bow to you, though it doesn't look very dignified because my body is wracked with laughter. Reticulating styroplastic? I am DYING over here. I think you made me pee a little!! And you just have no idea how badly I needed this humor... babies are sick and I've been up to my elbows in what's flying from both ends. YUK!!

BUt seriously... I think you are onto something with those self freezing shipping boxes... we need to work on that. I'd LOVE to be able to ship cakes.

Ladyfish, he might get back to you soon since he's apparently stopped emailing me for some reason. Maybe the reticulating styroplastic is hard to find in his area and he's afraid that the cake won't ship well without those self-freezing boxes. Yeah, that's the reason...

And Melvira, I hope that the stuff coming out both ends of your kids stops pretty soon, that's no fun!

Hey, and he never did specify toejam or sparkleberry!

It could be that or it might be that he is stumped about which flavor jellyrolls to serve at the wedding.

mandice wrote:

It is very delightful. It's a blend of blueberries, raspberries, and dingleberries mixed with inedible green sparkle. It doesn't digest very well but makes great looking poo....

If anyone wants the recipe, I'll be glad to post it.

Is toejam made from the crud that some may accumulate between their toes?............Does it go well with WASC?

OMG! I've read through this post laughing until I have tears in my eyes! As a Fraud Analyst, I have to say, that I would love to deal with all of the cases that come across my desk this way. It would make for a very entertaining line of work!!

Who knows, maybe you all will put the scammers out of business...but wait, that would put me out of work too.

That sounds like such a cool and interesting job Lalady!

I never thought this thread would get funny!!
What about baking them a poo cake???
I'm glad some of you are playing with them!!! keep it up!!!

It is interesting! I've always said that if the scammers would invest their time and smarts in to doing something good, this world would be a better place.

mmmm...toejam and wasc. The next time I do a wedding for a podiatrist I'm gonna remember that combination. Cream cheese frosting on that?

Gonna vomit!!! We can stop with all the words like 'crusty gunk'. Ew.

You know, sparkleberry could be very popular with the tweens! Maybe we should offer it for b-days and quince cakes too! I mean, I know it's a traditional wedding flavor, but we could branch out a little, couldn't we?

What's the matter mel, you don't think "crud toejam on CORNbread" sounds like a delicious "toe licking" combination?

Maybe this should go in that thread about "gross snack combo's"...........

I'm sorry... I just started a new medication where the main side effect is nausea and dizziness. *urp* Not feeling so great right now.

Melvira, I think you're on to something--not to be confused with on something. Maybe we could have a sparkleberry recipe contest. Sparkleberry actually does sound like a flavor that would be very popular with tweens and such. That would be a hoot-yes? Maybe we could work on the toejam flavor another time.....

I make big mistake. I thought I say sparkleberry to scammers, but I
say twinkleberry. How I know that you ask. Because I just get this email from them.

I go to bed now. Crack up all night....

But Ladyfish, don't you feel important to know that you're their LAST HOPE for twinkleberry?

My scam cake boyfriend no replied me yet, too. I am sad knowing that he not care enough to letting me know what toejam flavor is wanted.

Hmmmm... I guess twinkleberry is OK. I liked sparkleberry better, buuuut... I guess I can let it slide this once. You're like the ObiWan Kenobi of cakes!! If you're not a Star Wars fan (or not married to one) then let that joke slide. (Princess Leia sends a digital message to Obi that says "Help us ObiWan... you're our only hope!" in this sweet little maiden in distress voice. See... I guess that wasn't too hard to explain.)