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Am I being selfish? - Page 2

post #16 of 37
3/9/09 at 12:35pm
I feel you!

I also experienced this dilemma even if they are my good friends. I make cakes on the side and even go to culinary school for this (and this school is really not cheap... but since I really want to learn and be better... I am willing to pay). Even my cake recipe is something that I experiment and improve over periods of time.

To tell the truth, sometimes I don't mind sharing my technique with my fellow cakers... but what ticks me the most is when I heard comments that say that "Oh.. it seems that it's not that hard to make cake... I should be able to do it on my own at home... no need to take any class." and yet....they just casually asked me for recipes and even ask me to teach them how to do it from start to finish. I love them dearly but sometimes it just make me mad inside.

How do you guys deal with this kind of people without hurting their feeling? Since I do this as a profession.. I'm hoping they should understand that they would have give me dilemma by asking that question.. but that doesn't seem to be the case.
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post #17 of 37
3/9/09 at 12:47pm
I understand how you feel. I would be nice and say I can teach you for a fee. I work part time at a candy store and they are always asking me to decorate things Like bunnies this time of year. I have been asked to do the nose, ears and tails. Man it "frosts" my butt because I only make 10 bucks and hour there and they are using me to get a nicer product. I cant say no so I guess I dont have a backbone. Make sme mad but I do it.
No Cake is too pretty to eat!

Paula M Surrette
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No Cake is too pretty to eat!

Paula M Surrette
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post #18 of 37
3/9/09 at 12:47pm
Sorry, I have to admit that I didn't read all the responsed, but since CC is going at a snail's pace yesterday and today and I've gott to look a few things up, I need to make this fast......

I totally agree with what GeminiRJ and KKristy said and suggested!! Charge for the classes this way you don't have to feel like a heel and you recoup from that also!
-Grace

"Shades of grey wherever I go;
The more I find out the less that I know."
- Billy Joel
"What color's the icing in your world?" - Me
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-Grace

"Shades of grey wherever I go;
The more I find out the less that I know."
- Billy Joel
"What color's the icing in your world?" - Me
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post #19 of 37
3/9/09 at 12:55pm
You know, it's really up to you. If you really don't want to teach them, then that's your call.

But you could take the opportunity to teach a craft that you do well, and treat it like any other class (charging a fee, make them buy their own supplies, etc.). I think you'll weed out anyone who isn't serious about learning, and you can always keep it simple & not share all of your decorating "secret weapons". icon_wink.gif

I wouldn't just assume these friends are out to steal your business. They probably just think your bouquets are really cool and want to learn, which is a wonderful compliment!
Lauren~~Wife to Richard~~Mom to Olivia & Ruby
------------------------------------------------------
Amateurs practice 'til they get it right. Professionals practice 'til they can't do it wrong.
I'm somewhere in the middle!
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Lauren~~Wife to Richard~~Mom to Olivia & Ruby
------------------------------------------------------
Amateurs practice 'til they get it right. Professionals practice 'til they can't do it wrong.
I'm somewhere in the middle!
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post #20 of 37
3/9/09 at 1:09pm
I know it is hard to turn down people. You have two choices:
1. say "I'm so sorry, I'm so busy, can't do it. There are classes at the local craft store..."
2. Charge them! explain that this would take some of your precious time (that can be expent while making cookies for sale), they would be using your stuff, your kitchen...
If they are good people they will understand.
Good luck with that!
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post #21 of 37
3/9/09 at 1:11pm
You could say... Oh my gosh, you guys are sooo flattering to want me to teach you, but TEACHING is just not something I like to do! Besides, I don't know where I'd find the time to do that! It shows them you are flattered icon_smile.gif but are turning them down! icon_surprised.gif
...talk about your childhood wishes, you can even eat the dishes!
"Come inside", said the bird to the mouse. I'll show you what there is in a treathouse.
(licensed and inspected home kitchen)
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...talk about your childhood wishes, you can even eat the dishes!
"Come inside", said the bird to the mouse. I'll show you what there is in a treathouse.
(licensed and inspected home kitchen)
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post #22 of 37
3/9/09 at 1:19pm
I have a verrrry hard time saying no, too. I'd just say that I didn't have time to teach lessons but offer them the option of going to Michael's or somewhere else to take lessons.
Check out my new website!

www.bennysbakerycakes.com
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Check out my new website!

www.bennysbakerycakes.com
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post #23 of 37
3/9/09 at 1:24pm
I don't think it's selfish at all.

One thing that always surprises me when I read responses to this kind of question is the need so many people have to make up some sort of "palatable" lie to tell people about why they won't do something. I do not for the life of me understand why people feel the need to do that.

There's nothing wrong with just graciously saying, "Oh, I'm sorry, I just don't do classes" or "Thank you, but I'm just not interested in teaching how to do this." Someone recently asked me if I'd come to her house and "help" her 6 year old make her own cake. I just said, "I can give you a quote to make you a cake, but I just don't do that type of activity." I gave her a few ideas of how she could do it herself, and she was happy with that.

Why, oh why do we think we have to make everyone else comfortable with our responses at our own expense? Not to mention the fact that I know when someone is giving me an excuse, and I think it's insulting. I appreciate it more if when I make an honest request I get an honest response.
It's not good enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required.

Winston Churchill
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It's not good enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required.

Winston Churchill
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post #24 of 37
3/9/09 at 1:42pm
i definately agree that you could use this as an opportunity to raise more money (maybe a little more effectively too) for your son. hold a few classes (beginner, simple techniques) but have a list of supplies. anyone who is is just trying to take advantage will probably not attend but someone who genuinely admires your talent (and has no idea how to begin) would pay. you could even have the first class be 5-8 people max so you would get a better feel of the actual interest (and it would be more manageable) i agree not to share all you secrets and tips but give them a base which they could expand on. on the other hand that is a lot of work and you could just tell them that you have too much on the go at the moment for a project like that. icon_smile.gif
wisdom is knowledge put into action
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wisdom is knowledge put into action
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post #25 of 37
3/9/09 at 1:42pm
Nope not selfish at all and i think KKristy gave you the perfect answer.
I would definitely go with that.
MML
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MML
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post #26 of 37
3/9/09 at 2:00pm
Thread Starter 
Thank you all for your answers and kind words! I do not want to teach a class and really have time to so I will be turning everyone down. I did tell someone just about an hour ago that I don't have time now but if she is really interested in it I can give her a few web pages to check out. She looked at me and said, "I don't have time to look all that up and read it all, I just wanted you to show me!" I just stood there for a minute looking at her and then said, "It's really not that easy for me to JUST show you! Sorry, but I will not be able to do this."

That is all I could get out because I was a little frustrated that she thought I could just show her what to do and she didn't really want to research it or read about it! icon_mad.gif
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post #27 of 37
3/9/09 at 2:05pm
people are so presumptuous. But way to go!! good thing you told her.
MML
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MML
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post #28 of 37
3/9/09 at 2:07pm
I do not think the 'Little Red Hen' felt selfish when the bloodsucking (oops!) pigs came AFTER the crops were planted and farmed and she sweated her little feathers to the bone for her brood and she sayed where were you when...!!! You keep making your bouquets. You can not do or be it all. Your friends will be okay with 'no'. It is alright not to, and if you do it and your true heart is not in it, you will not be spreading the joy you had making them for your little rooster. Bake on Baby,Bake on!!!
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post #29 of 37
3/9/09 at 2:11pm
Good for you for sticking to your guns!

Cookie classes are a lot of work. There is a ton of prep work that people don't understand. If you ever decide to do one-charge a ton of money!!
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post #30 of 37
3/9/09 at 2:38pm
Wow, the NERVE of that lady! If she can't even find time to look at a few websites to get cookie ideas where in the heck does she think she's going to get time to MAKE the cookies in the first place?!?!? She obviously just hasn't a clue.

As for making excuses, I totally do it all the time. I'm just such a wimp when it comes to thinking that I'm going to hurt someones feelings I make myself feel better by making up an excuse. It's a character flaw I guess, lol.

Anyway, good for you for not doing the classes! What a load off of your mind, hey?
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