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Not a diasaster more of a slap in the face - Page 4

post #46 of 74
10/3/08 at 9:45am
I think the longer you let this ride the worse you're gonna feel. I don't think you can stuff this. *If there is no one in the area who can counsel you or even stand in the gap and make inquiry for you--then I think you need to get your money simply and up front.

When you see the daughter just smile and say, "Oh, the balance on the cake is $50."

Leave off all the drama beyond that. I think.

*Is there any real special person at your church who can keep their mouth shut on the one hand and counsel you on the other?

I mean it could eas-i-ly be opening a nasty can of worms if you got the wrong person but if there just might be someone like that, I think I'd go there and seek their counsel.
 
 

 

 

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post #47 of 74
10/3/08 at 10:11am
Quote:
Originally Posted by jackie64

Thats just it I am really a quiet and passive person that hates confrontation. I am really hurt and I havent gotten mad about it I think because I was stunned by it really . I just would have never expected to be done this way.



Hello,

Truly, when a brother or siser in Christ "offends" us, we are to take the matter directly to them. That is YOUR responsibility. That way, we are not left wondering if we have offended someone somehow. If we are offended, we are to take the matter to the offender. Normally you would simply tell them, or even invoice them, advising that $50.00 was left out the quoted price. If that does not resolve it, you would take the matter between "two or three brothers" who could help resolve the matter. The reason I say this to you, is because this is a matter between you and your church authority. THere is not a clear line between your business in this situation and wanting to serve your church famly. You were waiting for payment while attending church services, and that kind of blurs the line. If you didn't go to the church, maybe it would be different. Until you've addressed the matter privately with your own offenders, there really isn't much help anybody on this board can be.
You don't HAVE a soul, you ARE a soul...you HAVE a body. C.S. Lewis
I'd rather see badly done cake than well done styrofoam.
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You don't HAVE a soul, you ARE a soul...you HAVE a body. C.S. Lewis
I'd rather see badly done cake than well done styrofoam.
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post #48 of 74
10/3/08 at 1:25pm
ITA submitt an invoice reflecting what's been paid already. It's not confrontational is part of providing your services. I'd circle the remaining balance in red.

There's a lot of presumption so give them the benefit of the doubt. This is a foothold in your life and it can only grow. By getting to the truth you allow this issue to be put to rest once and for all. By NOT finding out the truth your joy is being stolen, animosity can set in as well as bitterness and the other party could be totally clueless.

Give them a chance to answer for their actions. This could very well be a lessen He wants you to learn.

Now's your chance to grow in your faith by following through and not allowing this uncertainty to govern you. YOU CAN DO THIS. {{{hugs}}}
Wife to Todd
Mom to two wonderful boys
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Wife to Todd
Mom to two wonderful boys
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post #49 of 74
10/3/08 at 1:59pm
I, too, am curious if the OP discussed the price up front. BUT even if it was not, I do not feel that she was done right in the situation.

If there was a budget of $150, then something should have been said to her when the daughter told her she would pay her the next day or when she finally recieved the check 4 days later. They shouldn't have just paid her less and not given an explaination or reason for it. And with the check in an envelope that makes it seem fishy to me.

I still feel the OP needs to go to the daughter and discuss it with her. She shouldn't have to let this go and let her feelings eat at her just because it was a cake for her church.
My Weight Loss Support Group is The Chunky Monkeys!
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My Weight Loss Support Group is The Chunky Monkeys!
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post #50 of 74
10/3/08 at 2:15pm
Jackie64, you can see how passionately this subject has riled up the CC natives...

Take BlakeCakes & indydebi's advice - send a detailed bill, showing payment rec'd, balance due. THEN, if you don't receive payment, you can be offended and PO'd at the daughter.

Please don't doubt your work....that is one GORgeous cake, lady!!! I love the effect of Swiss dots on cakes, really stunning colors you've used as well!

Hang in there, sistah....
www.Homemade-Goodies.nl
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www.Homemade-Goodies.nl
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post #51 of 74
10/3/08 at 2:33pm
Jackie, stunning cake. You deserve to be paid in full. Plain and simple. Indydebs right. Just send the invoice detailing the amount outstanding.
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post #52 of 74
10/3/08 at 3:00pm
Jackie,
I thought I would check in on you and see how you are doing?

-Debbie B.
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post #53 of 74
10/3/08 at 3:07pm
I don't usually bring God into these conversations BUT...you are abviously a Christian woman. Having a Christian perspective on things means that you act for the good of others, and sometimes that means correcting them for their own good. It is NOT in their best interest to "cheat" you out of $, and it is not in your best interest to have a wedge driven between you and your pastor. It may be uncomfortable, but I think you are obligated to let them know that they did not pay you the full amount...I commend you on taking the high road and agree that the $$ they keep will do them more harm than good because they are keeping something that does NOT belong to them! If it makes you feel better also tell them that if they cannot afford to pay you they can keep their $.
We cannot do great things, only small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
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We cannot do great things, only small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
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post #54 of 74
10/3/08 at 3:26pm
I'm sorry that happened to you, but don't give the check back. I'm sure the cake was well worth more than what you charged.

I can relate with you. I had a very similar situation with me, a cake & family member in a church, & needless to say, it had the makings of turning out real bad for all involved. I have a cousin, you know the one aka "THE SHISTER", always wants something for nothing & will try to rip you off he can. Well his wife ordered a cake to feed close to 90 people for his parents 50th anniversary. Well I made the cake, delivered it, set it up, & stayed for the event. Well after the festivities, when I went to find find out who was paying me, he politely told me that he would pay me tomorrow. HUH????? icon_confused.gif All I could think was if I leave without my money, he wil never answer my calls the next day , so I knew better than that. I went on to tell him that I don't do business like that & I brought the cake & I wanted to be paid. He then told me " well I don't know who told you to bring it" WHA??????? icon_eek.gif. I immediately saw red & before the night was over I had raised such a fuss & all but threatened to praise dance on his head that I left with a check written by the wife that I cashed in her bank the next day. I really hate to think that I almost sealed my fate to burn in hell behind commiting an assault in a church over a cake. I learned a valuable lesson from that " GET PAID IN ADVANCE!" especially when dealing with family.
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post #55 of 74
10/3/08 at 5:30pm
Thread Starter 
Im doing ok Debbie B Thank You for asking. I am going to go on Im not going to ask for the money . First let me state the check was not in an envelope it was just folded in half , as I stated before I just stuck it in my purse and didnt even look at it. I am at complete peace over this I have made several cakes in the past for the church and have not charged for them, And I agree with a lot of you maybe they expected to get it for no charge . But there are several underlying things here that go along with this. Ok I ordered the gumpaste ivy and flowers that are on the cake and as many of you know they are not cheap. These had been previously ordered for the Pastors Grandaughter she was going to get married and then the marriage didnt happen . Ok I didnt charge them for the flowers and ivy that I ordered . I ate the cost and went on. So this is one reason I charged for the cake. I will state the obvious I bake at home and many of you know how long it takes to bake a 14 inch layer in a regular oven . It took me all day just to get the cakes baked. Hence I have to pay for the electricity to bake the cakes, the pan release wrapping them the cake boards to place them on,almost 4 dozen eggs milk oil vanilla flavoring . Making the icing almost 40 cups of icing,and everything needed to make it along with the electricity with using the kitchenaid for that long . I had to order the 12 inch cake plate and the sugar pearls. My cousin attends the same church I had already told her that it would be 200.00 as this was in the works for months I knew in April about this and I had talked to the daughter about what she wanted . She came to me about making the cake for the celebration. Let me just say the church fund paid for the cake . It didnt come from a personal account. And all the hours of work I put into the cake. I didnt just slap it up and present it. This is just my justification for the price I charged . I think I was more than fair.
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post #56 of 74
10/3/08 at 5:45pm
Your decision is your's to make...but I do NOT understand how you can NOT ask them for the money...it's the principle...they OWE it to you...and you feel slighted and insulted(as evidenced by your listing of all the expenses,which,by the way,you do NOT have to make excuses for)...why are you letting them off the hook...They should be the first ones to say "i'm sorry...we've made a terrible mistake,and we didn't mean to offend you in any way" You are setting a precedent for them to do the same thing every time...to every other person they deal with...Shame on them...Shame on that church....you should NOT be intimidated by a Pastor's family...what a scam!
mental insanity takes many forms,and this is one of them!
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mental insanity takes many forms,and this is one of them!
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post #57 of 74
10/3/08 at 6:08pm
Thread Starter 
Its not worth the trouble it will cause and trust me it will more than likely. I was hurt by it and I have learned a very valuable lesson , some pay a much bigger price to learn a life lesson and I dont mean just monetarily . So I feel lucky that it was no more than that . A lot of people just do not understand what it takes to make a cake like that its just cake to most people we all know that. I lived before I got paid for the cake and I will live just fine without it. This is how I look at it If they can live with it I can live without it as well I am a person of Honor I go by the Honor system I carry myself with a high degree of dignity and respect and that is something no one can take from me. When I deal with people they can be assured I have been fair and thats a reputation I am going to keep. I will no longer be making cakes for anyone at church its just better that way.And if I am ask I am going to tell them I no longer do cakes .
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post #58 of 74
10/3/08 at 6:22pm
Thread Starter 
Im sorry I hope I havent offended anyone . Coming here and talking about this has helped me to get it out of my system and reading other peoples stories that have had similar problems helps me to see Im not alone others have gone through the same thing.
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post #59 of 74
10/4/08 at 2:37am
Telling church members you no longer make cakes wouldn't be truthful, would it? I hope you aren't giving up your beautiful talent because one family played head games and won.

Unfortunately, church members become as close as family sometimes, and like the adage never loan money to family...it really applies to most business dealings as well.

I had a similar experience with a close work colleague in April....everything goes gunnysack for some reason, and yet the added strain of not wanting to offend these people so close to us makes it more difficult. I know I'll not do anything similar now. Too much heartburn!

If you are peace with it, that is certainly your decision though I wouldn't have made the same one. Scriptures tell us also not to be a stumbling block to fellow believers...your pastor's family sure could use a reminder of that.

Best wishes, hon!
www.Homemade-Goodies.nl
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post #60 of 74
10/4/08 at 8:16am
Maybe I missed it, but I still haven't seen that you actually gave them a price that was agreed upon before the cake was made?

If you didn't, then try to look at it from their perspective. If they had no idea how much it would cost, it might have been a knock-the-wind-out-of you experience to hear it after the cake had been consumed. Nobody is saying it wasn't worth the price, but they might have been shocked and not prepared for the price.

BUT, someone then should have said, "I'm sorry, but that is way out of the church budget. Can we work something out?"

In any case, I wouldn't assume anything. It could have been a simple mistake. Don't assume the worst unless you have evidence showing it is the worst case. Simply tell them that there is another $50 due and see what happens. If then you find you are up against shady dealings, then you should act appropriately. There are clear biblical standards to handle this. If it was paid for out of the church budget, what would be the motivation for shortchanging you anyway?

But, I have read on here time and again about situations where a cake is decorated and delivered and then the price is brought up. That's just not fair to anyone. Few people have unlimited budgets and assumptions get everyone in trouble. I am sure most people think "sheet cake from Walmart" when they think of the price for such a thing.
"To laugh often and to love much..., to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to give one's self..., this is to have succeeded."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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"To laugh often and to love much..., to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to give one's self..., this is to have succeeded."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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