Is The New Fad For Weddings !!
Business By cakesondemand Updated 11 Sep 2008 , 6:33pm by sweettoothmom
Too bad the americans are not liek the canadians in respect to actually coming when you say you are. I read someone say is was very unusual for a canadian to RSVP yes and then not show-the height of rudeness or something.
I prefer to be the only cake person, but a lot of people have aunt sally make the groom's cake. So what am i to say to that....no go somewhere else? Sorry, but I need the money! I guess I will change my opinion when somepne tells me how awful "my" groom's cake was!
Julia
the height of rudeness or something.
It's the height of rudeness here, too ... but unfortunately, too many people just don't care about sticking the host(s) with a $25 uneaten dinner that still has to be paid for.
In my area, Toledo, the Hotel Venues are cutting the cake BEFORE DINNER! Thay way the guest can eat the cake while they're waiting for dinner.
If I paid $800 for a cake I would at least want to show if off until after dinner.
Being in Canada seems all venues serve dessert so the cake is for less servings and there is also the cutting fees but its seems to be going around that a cutting cake is only needed not even thinking about the guest that are waiting for that piece of cake it happened to me where there was no cake served and I was insulted I love my cake rather have that instead of the meal LOL although now that I do cakes everyday I rarely have a piece. I just hope this is just another phase and it will pass can't stay in business with just a small cake so prices go up for those cutting cakes. Less servings more $$$ that happened last year with the dummy tiers or with a slice put in learned my lesson and did'nt charge any different from a real cake still had to decorate it.
Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 11:37 am Post subject:
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CherryLane wrote:
Thay way the guest can eat the cake while they're waiting for dinner.
omg, you've GOT to be kidding me!!
No, I'm not kidding and it's the Hilton!
well, I'm filing that little tid-bit away to share with my Hilton Hotel brides, so that they find out for sure how the local Hilton's operate. That's the nuttiest thing I've ever heard of.
Usually when the guests are "waiting" for dinner, it's because they are waiting for the bride and groom to arrive at the reception. I'd hate to think they either (a) cut and serve the cake before the bride and groom get there or (b) the couple are so inconsiderate of their guests that they make the guests wait so long for dinner after the couple arrives that the guests need to be fed dessert first!! 
I hear ya IndyDebi, and I agree. Nuttest thing I've ever heard of.
WOW never heard anything like that before eating the cake before the bride and groom arrive how bazzar.
or (b) the couple are so inconsiderate of their guests that they make the guests wait so long for dinner after the couple arrives that the guests need to be fed dessert first!!
OMG!!!! Dessert first!!! YAY!!! All my prayers have been answered!!! My standard to my DH is "I promise, we can leave right after dessert!" I gotta tell him THIS!!!!
just doing cutting cakes for the bride and groom I have had so many request for this and I'm wondering if everyone else has. I have now put a minium on wedding cake orders.
This thread was so long that I didn't read through it all. A couple of months ago, I did a wedding for a girl who had about 300 people at her reception, but the cake was only for 50. On the table, they had slices of cheesecake! The cake was meant for display and photographs only.
[quote="terrig007"]
About 22 years ago my cousin had a cake just for the head table and the rest of us got Little Debbie's Brownies with those ice cream cups with wooden sticks on it. The wedding was in MO and we all came from IN and IL. I would have been thrilled with a sheet cake from Costco.
As for the A & B list, well I have been on the "B" list and I was not pleased at all. It was someone my husband worked with in the Army. He kept coming home asking if we had received an invite to this girl's wedding. Well 10 days before the wedding it showed up and the RSVP was a phone call. So, I call and we go to the wedding and she asks my husband if she could borrow his sword to cut the cake and he lets her and we're sitting there and this one guy at the table says something about this being the "reject table" and we're all like what? He said that he found out about it through a friend of his. I found out that night that was indeed true. It really was not a good feeling.
Wonder if the Happy Couple of the OP will even send out "Thank You" notes? My folks are still waiting 22 years for theirs.
This is why I wait to send the gift. It is completely acceptable to wait up to one year after the wedding to present a gift to the couple. This gives you some time to think about whether the couple treates you well at the wedding/reception and is something you want to thank them for with a gift or not. Also I hate seeing them get two of something because some one bought off the registry or didnt have the registry remove the gift and then they have to return it. I like to make the gift really personal to the couple. And if they are cheap and treat the guests badly look out.
I am so sorry that some people just are not raised right and that they did this to your family.
a new fad here in South Africa is to do the cake cutting ceremony right after coming out of the chapel/curch. the guests then have cake while waiting for the couple to do their photos. I think its such a silly idea as the guests will see the cake for about 5 seconds before it dissapears onto the plates 
The hispanic cultures thinks it is tacky to serve cake at a wedding. At least that is what I was taught with Weddings Beautiful.
Not mexicans, I'm from Mexico city and this is the first time in my life I've heard this no cake thing, believe me WE LOVE CAKE! and it doesn't have to be a weeding, a simple coffee with friends would do the only difference is that we like it well moist......with rum! 
I think the main problem is now Brides have the inter-net and television how to get by cheap on their wedding. I'm sure the Bride is young and believes all that is said. 
The first think I do at the receiption is go look at the cake. This I did long before I started decorating. I know a lot of people that do this.
It amazes me how cheap Brides will go with the cake. My daughter has a Wedding Decorating business. I think she is highly over priced. Yet, you would be suprised at the Brides that don't even blink when she gives them her quote.
When I go to a Wedding I give the couple money as a gift but I also add the amount of what it would cost for us to go out to an elegant dinner to it.
I'm starting to think maybe I should wait and see how cheap the Bride goes on the meal and cake and make adjustments. 
Believe me I would not be happy if I was served a store bought cake.
I don't know what happened at one Wedding I attended but they ran out of food so not everyone got to eat. 
I would think it is better to have a lovely wedding for 50 guest than to have a cheap wedding for 150 guest.
[quote="sweettoothmom"]
About 22 years ago my cousin had a cake just for the head table and the rest of us got Little Debbie's Brownies with those ice cream cups with wooden sticks on it. The wedding was in MO and we all came from IN and IL. I would have been thrilled with a sheet cake from Costco.
As for the A & B list, well I have been on the "B" list and I was not pleased at all. It was someone my husband worked with in the Army. He kept coming home asking if we had received an invite to this girl's wedding. Well 10 days before the wedding it showed up and the RSVP was a phone call. So, I call and we go to the wedding and she asks my husband if she could borrow his sword to cut the cake and he lets her and we're sitting there and this one guy at the table says something about this being the "reject table" and we're all like what? He said that he found out about it through a friend of his. I found out that night that was indeed true. It really was not a good feeling.
Wonder if the Happy Couple of the OP will even send out "Thank You" notes? My folks are still waiting 22 years for theirs.
This is why I wait to send the gift. It is completely acceptable to wait up to one year after the wedding to present a gift to the couple. This gives you some time to think about whether the couple treates you well at the wedding/reception and is something you want to thank them for with a gift or not. Also I hate seeing them get two of something because some one bought off the registry or didnt have the registry remove the gift and then they have to return it. I like to make the gift really personal to the couple. And if they are cheap and treat the guests badly look out.
I am so sorry that some people just are not raised right and that they did this to your family.
I absolutely understand waiting to send a gift so that you can get something special they don't already have. But I've always thought you give a wedding gift to help the new couple because you care about them. I would give the same gift whether they had cake and punch or if they had a 7 course dinner at the fanciest place around. That's how I'm used to things working, but I know other parts of the country see things differently. It has not been the norm here to match the gift to the quality of the reception.
The hispanic cultures thinks it is tacky to serve cake at a wedding. At least that is what I was taught with Weddings Beautiful.
I am from Miami where there are many different hispanic cultures. I myself am American but my Mother is Cuban and it is definitely not tacky at all to serve cake at a wedding, on the contrary, many hispanic cultures go all out with cakes.
What is Weddings Beautiful?
www.weddingsbeautiful.com
I personally thought it was odd that they said the hispanic culture finds it tacky to serve wedding cake. I've been to a large number of weddings where they have an elaborate cake. I'm not saying I agree with it, but it is what they teach you.
[quote="ziggytarheel"][quote="sweettoothmom"][quote="terrig007"]
I absolutely understand waiting to send a gift so that you can get something special they don't already have. But I've always thought you give a wedding gift to help the new couple because you care about them. I would give the same gift whether they had cake and punch or if they had a 7 course dinner at the fanciest place around. That's how I'm used to things working, but I know other parts of the country see things differently. It has not been the norm here to match the gift to the quality of the reception.
I don't know that this is what people ACTUALLY do, I think it's just what we might LIKE to do, or like to THINK about doing. 
I know I've been tempted.
Too bad the americans are not liek the canadians in respect to actually coming when you say you are. I read someone say is was very unusual for a canadian to RSVP yes and then not show-the height of rudeness or something.
I prefer to be the only cake person, but a lot of people have aunt sally make the groom's cake. So what am i to say to that....no go somewhere else? Sorry, but I need the money! I guess I will change my opinion when somepne tells me how awful "my" groom's cake was!
Julia
I think in some cases you have a family member that "ALWAYS" makes the groom's cake and that so many people know this, that they don't assume the wedding cake and groom's cake were made by the same person. I know that my grandma makes a Texas Sheet Cake and that's been at darn near every wedding in my family and everyone (family/close friends) just about expects it.
Okay, so I contacted weddings beautiful regarding the whole cake is tacky thing lol this is what they replied:
My apologies. The statement was taken out of context. This is the complete sentence from our assignment on Hispanic Traditions.
âHispanic people think that serving punch and cake is tacky. They celebrate with food.â
True, we do celebrate with food, but I wouldn't say serving punch and cake is tacky either. 
If you got a response from Nany, she was my instructor. The whole paragraph concerning the reception is:
"The reception is a sit down affair. After the introduction of the wedding party, a line is formed with the bride and groom leading with the head table the final destination. There is much laughter and merriment. Hispanic people think that serving punch and cake is tacky. They celebrate with food."
I thought it was an oddly stated paragraph when I did my assignemt as I'd never been to a hispanic wedding that didn't have cake or punch. But they also try to stick to tradition in teaching us these traditions so maybe traditionally there was something not liked about cake. I can see how it can be taken out of context but again, I really think it was an odd paragraph to put in there.
I understand the logic of being the only baker and not wanting your name associated with an inferior sheet cake. What about the groom's cake though. I was at a wedding where the bride special ordered a car for the groom and surprised him with it. I honestly wouldn't assume the car cake and the wedding cake were from the same place. It it OK to do the wedding cake then or should you avoid that order too?
[quote="sweettoothmom"]
About 22 years ago my cousin had a cake just for the head table and the rest of us got Little Debbie's Brownies with those ice cream cups with wooden sticks on it. The wedding was in MO and we all came from IN and IL. I would have been thrilled with a sheet cake from Costco.
As for the A & B list, well I have been on the "B" list and I was not pleased at all. It was someone my husband worked with in the Army. He kept coming home asking if we had received an invite to this girl's wedding. Well 10 days before the wedding it showed up and the RSVP was a phone call. So, I call and we go to the wedding and she asks my husband if she could borrow his sword to cut the cake and he lets her and we're sitting there and this one guy at the table says something about this being the "reject table" and we're all like what? He said that he found out about it through a friend of his. I found out that night that was indeed true. It really was not a good feeling.
Wonder if the Happy Couple of the OP will even send out "Thank You" notes? My folks are still waiting 22 years for theirs.
This is why I wait to send the gift. It is completely acceptable to wait up to one year after the wedding to present a gift to the couple. This gives you some time to think about whether the couple treates you well at the wedding/reception and is something you want to thank them for with a gift or not. Also I hate seeing them get two of something because some one bought off the registry or didnt have the registry remove the gift and then they have to return it. I like to make the gift really personal to the couple. And if they are cheap and treat the guests badly look out.
I am so sorry that some people just are not raised right and that they did this to your family.
I must be reading this wrong, and please correct me if I am....You base your gift to your friends off of what you get out of their wedding?
I love the personal gifts at weddings. I didn't want to do a registry for ours (we had lived together almost 2 years, what more household things do you need?), I loved when you could tell someone had put some thought into it. I have a "standard" gift I give at weddings - its a handmade ornament out of clay in the likeness of the bride & groom - complete with "rhinestone" ring, names & date - everyone oohs over it (yeah, they could be lying ) so I keep doing them. I had one person "order" one for another wedding they were going to.
I agree Solecito...liquor and cake and even better liquor and liquor IN the cake as well lol
I hope people didn't think my groom's cake came from the same place as the wedding cake.
I was new to cakes and wanted to do something special for my husband - so I made his myself. It was worthy of cakewrecks.com , but he loved it. The wedding cake itself was a beautiful tiered chocolate yummyness from a friend's professional bakery.
Many of the hotels in town, while allowing the wedding cake to be brought in from the outside, will still prohibit an "Aunt Sally" cake. They specifically state the cake must come from a licensed bakery/baker. I guess in these instances, Aunt Sally has to provide the cake for the rehearsal dinner ... if the rehearsal dinner is being held in a place that allows unlicensed cakes.
A and B lists are actually quite common.
They were even big when I got married 25 years ago. A friend of mine did this: She had a cocktail party after the ceremony, where EVERYONE was invited. It was in the basement of the church and was still very nice. There were a good 600 people there, many of them business people of her dad. Then there was a fancy dinner reception at a club after the party, where the A list of about 150 were invited. It was pretty common thing to do. She made out like a bandit in gifts!
They were even big when I got married 25 years ago. A friend of mine did this: She had a cocktail party after the ceremony, where EVERYONE was invited. ...... Then there was a fancy dinner reception at a club after the party, where the A list of about 150 were invited.
Oh I have a "how tacky!" story that goes with this!
Our niece/nephews attended a relatives wedding (on their mom's side, so we ... being dad's relatives ... were not on the guest list). Niece knew there were 2 lists .... everyone was on the cake-n-punch reception list and only 'some' were on the big dinner at the nice restaurant list afterward. Niece worried on how this was going to work, "..... because you know people will be talking to each other and phrases like 'see you at the restaurant later!' would come up." It was pretty funny, too, because this niece was on the restaurant list and a nephew wasn't! These two cousins are very very close and they were laughing about how she was "A" list and he was "B" list!!
Well, she needn't have worried ... because at the end of the cake-n-punch reception, the bride announced to the room, "Well, everyone thanks for coming!! Those who are invited to dinner at the (name of restaurant), we'll be meeting there in about 15 minute!"
I told my niece she should submit this to the www.etiquettehell.com site!
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