just doing cutting cakes for the bride and groom I have had so many request for this and I'm wondering if everyone else has. I have now put a minium on wedding cake orders.

So what dessert are they serving the guests?

Sometimes people do the strangest things. I have a girl with an A and B guest list. Once an A person declines they send out an invite to the B list person. I see the point but lord help them if anyone ever heard they were on the B list!


Julia

A and B lists are actually quite common.

Unfortunately, A & B lists are very common (visit a site like the Knot or wedding channel and you'll see), but I still think they're tacky and in plain English: F***ed up! People have so lost sight of what weddings are supposed to be about.

Edith Gilbert, author of several wedding etiquette books and writes a column for the Washington Post, "is not happy" with the A-list-B-list trend that has recently surfaced. However, Emily Post says it is fine to have a B list, but suggests "B" list invites be mailed no later than 4 weeks prior to the wedding.

Where are these peoples manners?
Emily Post is right on having a B list for INVITATIONS. If your A list does not show an adequate number of RSVP's then you can send out invites to the B list. That is not a big deal but to have an A and B list for dessert?! Now that is just an absolute slap in the face to any guest. And what a nightmare for the caterers. Make one dessert and serve it to everyone who attends. How very tacky on the brides part. Seems very snootie.


As a guest so I try and find out what list I was on and then decide if the couple gets an A or B list gift from me? I say YES SIREEE BOB! Mikasa Crystal on gift registry or tupperware bowl from under my sink?

I recently did a small cake for a couple that just wanted a cake for decoration and to cut, but they wouldn't' serve it to anyone. If I had been a guest I would have wondered, "WHAT THE HECK?" I dress up, drive 50 miles, buy a nice gift, hang out at the reception and all I get is a lousy slice of sheet cake from Costco? It just makes the bride and groom look cheap and like they packed the reception hall just to get a gift.

My take is, DON'T INVITE MORE PEOPLE THAN YOU CAN HAVE A NICE RECEPTION FOR.

I have not had this request in my area as of yet. I do not agreee with the A/B List and I can not see serving guest different this really would be a nightmare for the caters

Where I'm from, there isn't even a cut cake. The couple would get a wedding cake and cut it and serve it but it was a lot of waste. So it just went out of fashion. Now it is considered tacky.

What they serve for dessert is a regular dessert that you get at a restaurant. But a really nice, expensive dessert. They are included with the meal at the venue. And it's usually a different dessert for men and another kind for women. Women get like a fruit tart, or poached pear with some sorbet, something "lighter" and men get chocolate mousse or cheesecake, something "fattening". Of course people always end up trading. Or in my case, eating mine and my husbands

meegh, where in the world are you from??

Meegh, where are you located? Really? It's tacky to serve the cake? I don't think I'd like that tradition.

I have seen nice desserts served with sit-down dinners. That's an interesting practice to serve the women and men different desserts. The men's desserts sound better to me than a poached pear!! At my house, fruit doesn't have to count as dessert!!

these stories need to be added to www.etiquettehell.com !
They would fit in beautifully!!

(My favorite is the guest who was in a car crash on the way to the wedding, was life-lined to the hospital. The bride calls her a few days later and tells her that was no excuse for missing her wedding and by way, she still owed the bride a present! )

pear or cheesecake...my dh would be eatin a pear when he noticed his empty cheesecake plate!
MMmm...

Too funny acookieobsession, mine too!

I'm from the city of San Pedro. It is in Nuevo Leon, Mexico. It borders with TX. I don't know about wedding cake traditions in ALL Nuevo Leon, but at least in my city that's the way its done. That's the way my sister's and friends' wedding were, and that's the way my wedding was.

In all fairness, cakes aren't as elaborated back home. I had never seen a cake with fondant until I moved to Toronto. And people back home who had tasted cake with fondant they all seemed to dislike the taste. I guess we just aren't used to it.

But from the cakes I've seen here, I think it's a shame that people don't get a wedding cake. And I think it's time the wedding cake made a comeback.

I'm doing a lot of cutting cakes, but they're also ordering cupcakes. I haven't done only a cutting cake. Usually my cutting cakes are pretty cheap when they order cupcakes--just $15-$20 for a little 6 inch minimally decorated cake. Kind of a little bonus when you order the cupcakes. I've never heard of it being tacky to serve the cake to the guests. I'm guessing that's not an American thing, but then again, I don't get out much!

If they're just ordering a cutting cake, then odds are they are getting sheet cakes from a big box store. To protect your reputation you should run like the wind from such an order. Most cake designers/bakers have a "sole provider" clause in their contracts. It's been discussed many times here on CC.

Once the guests look at the beautiful cake you provide and ask "who did the cake?" and your name gets circulated, then they get a piece of obvious sheet cake that's of inferior quality, your reputation is gone.

in South Africa cake is not considered to be part of the dessert. Most venues supply a dessert table that is included in their price, so lots of brides opts for mini cakes/cup cakes with the small cutting cake on top so they can still have their cutting photo and then the guests can take the mini/cc home. Alternatively if they want a big cake I normally suggest for only 60% of their guest list. This way they dont have too much left over!

My above statements apply to U.S. weddings only.

I'd be really annoyed if dh got a nice piece of cheesecake or chocolate mousse and I got fruit!

That's me, I'd be ticked if I had to eat fruit while he got something sinful like chocolate.



Lucky for me, he doesn't like chocolate! And, I like a good poached pear...so both for me!!!

I just had a bride talk to me about a small cake and then sheet cakes to cut. when she called back she ordered the small tier then ordered the sheet cakes from some other place. I also had a mother of the bride ask if I would do a dummy wedding cake they wanted to go cheaper so they ordered sheet cakes at sams and wants me to do the wedding dummy cake and to thinks she thinks this is cheaper.

Boy desserts and girl desserts... now THAT is totally f***d up!!!! I think I've just about heard it all! I would be totally PEEVED (with capital I's) if I got a stupid pear and my DH got a yummy cheesecake!!!!!

And now I know that if I get an invitation anything less than 6 weeks away from a wedding that I was "B" listed, and just might be inclined to say "Go jump off a cliff".

Unless it's really good friends we normally don't go anyway. We have them over for supper after the honeymoon. But we don't like spending an evening smoozing people we don't normally hang with anyway, and with the number of guests at an average wedding being 130, we don't get to hang out with the BandG anyway, so why bother?

I'm just amazed reading these posts! Brides complain about paying $3 or $4 for a serving of cake but how much are they spendingo on these other desserts.

My hubby flipped on Bridezillas yesterday just as a bride was saying "We're outta here! I'm not spending $500 on a CAKE!". Yeah, and she probably spent over $5000 on her dress. I just almost couldn't stand listening to this show. One bride's 5 year old nephew went missing right before the reception started and the bride was just ticked and ready to leave because all of the focus wasn't on her.

The arrogance of some people.....

The hispanic cultures thinks it is tacky to serve cake at a wedding. At least that is what I was taught with Weddings Beautiful.