My "inappropriate" Avatar And Ticker

Decorating By twooten173 Updated 5 Aug 2008 , 4:51am by Heath

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gabbenmom Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 5:12am
post #31 of 204

I would just like to say that I am very sorry for your losses!! I think that if you choose your son as your avitar, it is just that, your choice! I can't say if I would do the same thing in your shoes or not and I pray that I never have to make a decision like that! You seem to be an amazing and strong women! Good for you! I am proud of you and your strength! I am proud of you for loving the Lord despite your rough time!
May you experience many more of lifes blessings!!! And take comfort in knowing that an amazing woman like you will be with your beautiful angel again some day!
Sending prayers and good thoughts your way!!!
~Heidi

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Trixyinaz Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 5:23am
post #32 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by summernoelle

Sweetie (twooten)



Screw all those people who said nasty things about this!
I did not see the thread that started this, but he is your baby! You love him as much as any other mother loves their babies, and you have a right to have his photo up.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I am also saddened that people were mean about it.
My thought and prayers are with you.




Major ditto! I had seen your avatar before and never gave it two thoughts of it being inappropriate or otherwise. The only thoughts that went through my head was, "What a beautiful baby. This woman lost her baby and my heart aches for her" I belong to a pregnancy website and I've seen many avatar photos that were similar of mom's who lost their babies. For some reason this bother's some people as it would always stir things up over there too. May the healing begin and the hurtful things that were said on that other thread that prompted to create this thread (by the way, I haven't the other one). My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

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pinklesley1 Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 5:34am
post #33 of 204

i saw the orignal post and never even rad it until i saw that you put that it was your avatar. I think that what we decide to put is our own decision. My husband was born with his cord wrapped around his neck and they pushed hm back in and managed to get it off... I am lucky bc that is why he is here and i am able to love him like i do...

i think that your Taylor was a beautiful baby and you should show him to the world!

flaunt him... if you ever need anything please do not hesitate to ask!

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itsmylife Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 5:36am
post #34 of 204

It bothers me that you had to explain yourself and your situation. Such a personal thing needs no explanation or justification to anyone. You've been blessed with incredible strength.

That photo of your son is precious and he is now a beautiful angel who has a strong, beautiful mother looking up at him.

(((hugs)))
Denise

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KoryAK Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 5:59am
post #35 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cakepro

Quote:
Originally Posted by fondantgrl

Yeah ! let's see them handle what you have been through. Let's see if they are as brave and strong of a person as you.. Or maybe it's just the mouth that is big and not the strength to go thru all this.

It's like slapping you on face after all you have been through. Hopefully they will experience much harder times than you. Let's see how they would feel about it. icon_razz.gif Please keep that photo and ignore those retards. icon_razz.gif



WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? What could possibly be harder than losing a baby before birth? Losing a child long after birth?

THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE SAYING, YOU IDIOT.




Are you kidding me??? I'm with cakepro here... FIRST of all no one said anything mean, just some people voiced their personal concerns in a kind enough, tho public, way. second of all who the hell are you to wish something worse than the loss of a child on anyone?? I hardly think the one person at the center of this "controversy" supports you on this point.
Acting ugly will never make you beautiful.

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margaretb Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 6:01am
post #36 of 204

I just want to post to support you. I wish I had something profound or comforting to say. I am counting my blessings through my tears. Thank you for sharing.

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Suzy40 Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 6:08am
post #37 of 204

Dear Twooten ,

I stumbled across this topic and just wanted to send you my regards , I see it has gotten a bit heated here and there and for that I apologise.
I would never of commented on your avatar in a bad way but 12 months ago I could not of looked at it for the beauty in your baby , I would of looked at it in a different way m seeing photos of dead babies had always freaked me out too, it was (being a mother of 2) like a deep dark place I just couldnt let my eyes go to , it made me very uncomfortable and got down into the core of me , I was very uncomfortable with death, and especially of a baby , and I know a lot of people are . However on the 10th of March 2007 my neice lost her baby at full term , a well as nearly her own life , the doctors had never had anyone survive a ruptured placenta to the degree she had and survive , it was horrible as she was on life support for a week as well and she did not know her baby had died, when she woke up and was strong enough she was told and we could all start to grieve together. 3 weeks after Shannon died she was to be buried , and my niece asked me to come to the viewing and see her , I could not bring myself to do it , I was beside myself about facing it , and after the viewing was over I was angry at myself as my niece wanted to share her baby with me and I was worried about myself, lucky the funeral parlour was allowing her to see the baby one last time the next day , the morning of the funeral and she again asked me to please come , it was the hardest day of my life to confront death like that especially of a baby , but how terrible was I to be thinkiing of my feelings , at first I could only look at her and then I touched her and in the end I held her little daughter and I cried rivers of tears for the love she would not know and the pain my niece would go through , she was beautiful and it is something I will never ever forget , and death is a hard part of life and confronting , some people cannot understand it and perhaps are not so good with voicing their feelings , like I said I was once afraid as well. Your baby is gorgeous and needs to be remembered and celebrated
God Bless you and your family
Suzy

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MikeRowesHunny Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 8:45am
post #38 of 204

I read the original thread, and I've read this one too and I sit here in tears because this is all so WRONG! You should never have been put in this position. I am very sorry for your loss, and ashamed that you have been put through even more trauma on something as trivial as a cake forum. You are an amazingly strong and compassionate woman and you have my utmost respect and sympathies.
xxx

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lorrieg Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 10:50am
post #39 of 204

I PM'd you and then I was thinking I should have posted publically since I did in the other thread. (and I didn't say anything bad in it I don't think)
Here is what I wrote:

Hello, first off I'm so sorry that you had to go through the pain that you did. I can only admire how brave and strong you are to get through each day. I hope it gets easier for you. That is a cute picture!

The avatar that got everyone so riled up was a different one I think. At least something else came to mind for me. I hadn't even seen yours. I personally think the other one "offended" because it really scared the crap out people. Death can be so hard to deal with. Not everyone handles it well.

I tried to make light of the problem in the forum with my reply. It didn't help. I gave up. You are among friends it's just some of us are quieter than others.

It's kind of funny how some people think they own this forum and everything should be their way or no way.

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foxymomma521 Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 11:27am
post #40 of 204

Twooten:
I'm so sorry you have been put in this position. We come here to have fun and learn, not to have a heartbreaking situation thrown in our face. I'm glad you are keeping his picture up. I honestly never thought twice about it, I always thought it was a picture of your baby sleeping.
He is your BABY and NOTHING should stand in the way of a mother loving her baby! God Bless you, and I pray that something so sensitive is never thrown in your face again.

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KeltoKel Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 12:02pm
post #41 of 204

I admire your strength and think your son is beautiful. I don't find the picture disturbing. Do not take it down. I think you will find that the majority of us support you when it comes to this.

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Kitagrl Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 12:04pm
post #42 of 204

Just saw this thread....I didn't realize there was a controversy about your avatar! I think I remember seeing it once before and was just wondering if the baby was just sleeping or passed...but then I figured it really didn't matter....the photo was of a beautiful baby the mother loved and was proud of! I never saw anything offensive about it and its too bad anyone else did.

I have a friend who lost her baby the same way...I can't imagine a perfect pregnancy up until the last minute, and then losing a perfect baby with the cord like that. It has always been a huge fear of mine while having my own children. I'm glad you got to hold your baby and take such a beautiful photo to remember forever.

Sorry you've had to go through this, and then face such harsh criticism besides. icon_sad.gif

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FromScratch Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 12:15pm
post #43 of 204

I am adding my love to the chain. My heartbroke the instant I found out what the fuss was about. I had hoped that we could get it removed before you would be exposed to the insensitivity, but that didn't happen. I found myself being so angry for you, and now I am crying for you.. but not tears of sadness.. tears of joy for your strength and perserverence through one hell of a hard time. I'm not sure I could be so strong. Don't you dare take that picture down.. your son was beautiful and you are a beautiful person to be able to stand up and face the world with such grace after losing something so precious as a child.

See you around CC my friend.

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Donnagardner Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 12:28pm
post #44 of 204

I agree with jkalman on this. You should not take down your photo or feel like it is inappropriate in any way. If someone has a problem looking at it then it is their problem and they need to address it from within themselves.

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terrig007 Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 12:31pm
post #45 of 204

One of my former coworkers had a stillborn baby as well. A photographer came to the hospital (arranged and paid for by the hospital) and took pictures of Jamie and his parents, grandparents, cousins and the three little neighbor boys who were also anxiously awaiting his arrival. The pictures are beautiful and still hand on the hallway wall with all the wedding pictures and other assorted ones.
I am also sorry you had to deal with this situation as well.
May God continue to Bless you.

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natascharenee Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 12:38pm
post #46 of 204

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for yor loss. The picture of your son is very beautiful and peacefull. There is nothing wrong with taking pictures like these. www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org

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SugaredUp Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 12:49pm
post #47 of 204

I am sorry that you had to go through CC pettiness on top of what you already have gone through. I think you're an inspiration - keep on doing what you're doing - and continue to celebrate his life. God Bless.

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luvscakes Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 12:58pm
post #48 of 204

I had no idea that there was all this going on- let alone about that cute photo! I have seen you post before and have seen the avatar and never once did it dawn on me that that sweet baby was gone.
I think it's great that you are remembering your son and that you have a photo of him that you can share with the world and your friends here on CC. My SIl had a stillborn baby girl (her first to be born) and I had a healthy baby a week later. It was the most painful thing I have ever seen anyone have to go through, and the pain didn't just go away. She still remembers her beautiful baby girl in anyway she can.
No one should be upset with you because of that! Bless you as you continue to heal and thank you for sharing your photo of your lovely baby boy!

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fluttercakes Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 1:03pm
post #49 of 204

I am so sorry that you had to go through this. I don't see anything disturbing about your avatar or signature at all! I never had a stillborn child, and hopefully I never will...but I also have never come to term in my pregnancies. That's right, I have had two miscarriages, and the last one scared me so bad that I have refused to get pregnant for almost three years...that might change in the future, but that's another story.

I still can't understand what is so 'creepy' about a picture of an adorable baby! If I didn't know he had passed on, I would have been like Indydebi and thought he was sleeping. One of my best friends since middle school had pictures of her father in his casket when I first meet her...yes, it was disturbing because it was obvious that he was in a coffin, but I think the only reason it was disturbing to me back then was because I had never been to a funeral before. Now, I have been to WAY too many, and I don't find these kind of pictures disturbing or creepy any more. It's a way to remember and to grieve!

Also, there is a pregnancy board that I was a member of, and there are numerous signatures on there with 'Angel' tickers...some women have had so many, and it just broke my heart...but they are still strong. Those tickers are a way of remembering a life and either didn't get a chance to start or one cut way too short...that isn't disturbing...it's a great honoring of a loved one!

Again, I am so sorry that you had to be put through this situation here on CC, but I definitely admire your strength and your faith! Bless you.

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vtjilly Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 1:05pm
post #50 of 204

Twooten-

I am so sorry to hear about the death of your son. I lost a daughter, my firstborn, Catherine when I was 40 weeks and 2 days into my pregnancy. She was born on February 19, 2005 and was 6 pounds, 2 ounces and absolutely beautiful. We took pictures of her as well and I have a picture of her on my desk as well as in my house. I proudly display her picture, I openly talk about her, and we have a blog just for her (catherineslight.blogspot.com). I personally don't care if it makes people uncomfortable--they need to face reality that this stuff happens.

You should never have to apologize for people's insensitivity. It's because of this insensivity, or ignorance that stillbirth is not commonly known about. Every 1 in 115 pregnancies results in stillbirth--that's more babies than the ones that die from SIDS. We've all heard about SIDS, but we don't hear enough about stillbirth. The US in fact is in the top ten in the world with the number of stillbirths and I find this completely unacceptable.

There are several organizations who aid with stillbirths--The MISS Foundation (www.missfoundation.org) and the National Stillbirth Society (www.stillnomore.org). Also, if you'd ever like to talk, feel free to PM me.

(((HUGS))))

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bevyd Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 1:07pm
post #51 of 204

I am sorry for your loss.Your son's picture is not inappropriate please dont remove it. God Bless You. Bevyd

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jacquie575 Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 1:08pm
post #52 of 204

God Bless you and your family. Your Baby was and will always be beautiful. Don't you dare take his picture down! He was lucky to have such a strong and loving mother.

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mkerton Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 1:13pm
post #53 of 204

I just wanted to express my condolences, one of my best friends has lost two babies (one stillbirth and one was born at 22 weeks and only lived a few seconds)....... those funerals were some of the roughest moments in my life. My friend only has a couple of pictures of her daughter and a couple of pictures taken at her funeral (at first I felt strange seeing pictures being taken at the funeral but now after going through the memory books I get it, this is all she has of her daughter and son)...... she had her son at a different hospital and they came in and took something like 70 beautiful photographs.... I have photos of both her beautiful babies, probably before this experience with my friend I wouldn't have gotten it, but that was just due to my ignorance. Now I completely understand.

hang in there....... sending you some cyber hugs

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disneynutbsv Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 1:15pm
post #54 of 204

I didn't get involved in the other thread, but your child is precious and yes, you must celebrate him. I just wanted to offer you a big hug and to say, I'm sorry for your loss. Don't take the picture down.

(((Hugs)))

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CuteCakeName Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 1:17pm
post #55 of 204

I just want to apologize to you for all of this. I am one of the members who posted early on asking what the avatar was, and I'm glad no one PM'd me. I had no idea that it was of such a sensitive nature, and once I realized what direction all of the hints were going in, I left it alone. It is nowhere near "strange" or "inappropriate" - all I see is your beautiful baby boy. I am very sorry for your loss, and I admire the strength you have shown here.

Heather

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sweetideas Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 1:28pm
post #56 of 204

I am just very sad that you felt like you have to defend yourself over this. People don't realize how much it hurts to feel like we shouldn't be proud of ALL our children. Your son is beautiful, please don't remove his picture.

To a previous poster: Any woman who has been through this would NEVER wish anything like this on another human being. Please, people, death affects us all differently, but please watch what you say when it comes to children. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

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missmeg Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 1:31pm
post #57 of 204

Twooten -

Please accept my belated and sincere condolences on the loss of your son Taylor. I have viewed many such pictures, and cannot do do so without a catch in my throat and a prayer offered to God for the babe's mom. Your avatar is not only NOT inappropriate, it is a loving tribute to your son and how you cared and nourished him during his life.

God bless,

~Meg

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jl5949 Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 1:32pm
post #58 of 204

I posted in the last thred on this and I have to again say how sorry I am for your loss. When you responded to me in the last post with your avatar I really couldn't understand why people would be up in arms about the beautiful picture of your son, as I feel that it is a very nice way to remember and be proud of him. But after reading this post I think I understand more why the avatar possibly bothered others. I think it is simply fear and ingnorance. I pray for you and your family in your time of need and I also pray for the "offened" people that God helps you understand how to have compassion for others.

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mbelgard Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 1:33pm
post #59 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by jkalman

I am adding my love to the chain. My heartbroke the instant I found out what the fuss was about. I had hoped that we could get it removed before you would be exposed to the insensitivity, but that didn't happen.
.




I will say that I'm still shocked that the thread wasn't at least locked as soon as people knew what it was about, deleted would have been my guess. What was "inappropriate" wasn't the avatar but the original thread about it.

If we censored every signature, avatar and ticker that someone had an issue with there would be very little left to use. I would personally hate to see one with a spider, I can't even look at a picture of them, but what about the people who have pet spiders? I have a pet iguana and I'm sure some people would be terribly disturbed to see a picture of that.

I can certainly understand posting one of the only pictures of your baby and no one should be pressured to take such a photo down. I saw this avatar several times before I realized what it really was and it never bothered me.

The objection to the ticker was nuts. That is what they look like in the womb after all.


And Twooten I hope that this whole discussion doesn't drive you away from here or make you think that you need to remove your avatar. I'm very sorry for your loss.

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doitallmom Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 1:38pm
post #60 of 204

Twooten, I read a portion of the OP thread when this all began and even though I had seen your avatar severa; times before that, not once did I think that it was "the one" that they were speaking of. It was a blessing in and of itself that you were able to go through so much hurt and tragedy and come out with joy in the end. May God continue to bless you and may you continue to be proud of you little bundle of joy.

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