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Would you be offended? - Page 2

post #16 of 26
Thread Starter 
Let me clarify a little... When she called to invite us, I did not expect her to ask me to make a cake, nor did I offer for that reason. She hosts about six parties a year and always has them catered. It's a prestige thing to impress her side of the family - She once had cookies overnighted from NY city. I was surprised that she asked me twice to make cakes in the past.

It was more her tone, and the fact that she kept bringing it up. She has also been known to call me up on a Saturday to ask if I'm caking and then make some comment about it. I'm beginning to think she's jealous? I'm not a competitive person.
post #17 of 26
Why would you think she is jelous - does she decorate cakes too? Maybe she's felt you were offended by your reactions in the past and she's trying to prevent that this time.

I try to look for the good in what people do. There is enough bad already.
post #18 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachcakes

Let me clarify a little... When she called to invite us, I did not expect her to ask me to make a cake, nor did I offer for that reason. She hosts about six parties a year and always has them catered. It's a prestige thing to impress her side of the family - She once had cookies overnighted from NY city. I was surprised that she asked me twice to make cakes in the past.

It was more her tone, and the fact that she kept bringing it up. She has also been known to call me up on a Saturday to ask if I'm caking and then make some comment about it. I'm beginning to think she's jealous? I'm not a competitive person.



huh. now this seems like you are more than a little judgmental. A prestige thing? How about maybe she'd just like to relax and spend time with her guests, which is why she has it catered. Cookies overnighted from NY? big deal. Maybe she LIKES those cookies or they were a special treat that she knew one of the guests would like.

Don't go looking for a reason to be offended.
post #19 of 26
If it would have been me, and that question was posed I probably would have replied "I'm not offended, I'm relieved - I'll be able to sit back and relax"
God must have loved calories....He made SO many of them!

The Air Force may have my husband...but I have his heart.

I'm the original Red Velvet Snob...
buh bye cream cheese frosting.
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God must have loved calories....He made SO many of them!

The Air Force may have my husband...but I have his heart.

I'm the original Red Velvet Snob...
buh bye cream cheese frosting.
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post #20 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by dailey

Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas_Rose

Your cakes are lovely. My guess is that your relative is either jealous of your abilities or jealous of the attention that your cakes recieve.



i totally disagree. i've seen post like this in the past where some will jump in and throw out the "jealousy" issue, however, i really don't see the connection? just because you make cakes that doesn't mean everyone you know is obligated to order them from you. not *everyone* is going to like the taste/style of your cakes. its really no big deal...



Possibly jealousy was the wrong word...what I meant was that a really nice-looking cake would get some attention that otherwise might be directed toward the hostess of the event. If you order a lovely cake from a relative, the relative will get a ton of compliments. If you order a lovely cake from a stranger, then you will get the compliments on your good taste, etc...
post #21 of 26
Ok , yes if she is the type of person that likes to receive praise for putting together a large event that goes fantastic and everyone just can not beleive that she did this on her own , then yes making a cake can sometimes still the thunder away from the host making the party for her a little down. I sometimes feel bad at family & Friend weddings were I know I have done a good job or the fact that some people have not seen a cake like what I create , the cake at times can steal the show . People want to know how you do it or who made it .. it does create drama . If this has happened to you at her occasions then take the hint let her order her cakes becasue it does show she can plan a party and buy her nice deserts it shows to her friends & family that she has good taste. try not to be offended I think she was trying to insure that she did not step on your toes trust me I know how family can be My husband has 80 family members within 10 mins of us so events can sometimes be tricky .
post #22 of 26
No one who doesn't share your roof and your mortgage is obligated to buy from you. (Okay, I'll hear arguments about whether people whose womb you once occupied also share this obligation.)

You do nice work. She's going in another direction. No harm, no foul.
post #23 of 26
I think Texas Rose has a good point, but you can't kill yourself by looking into this any more. I don't think she was trying to hurt you at all, but at the same time, she did not want to offend you.

I don't know if you make cookies, but maybe you can make some killer and super cute cookies to take to the party? LOL!
"Wine Counts as a Serving of Fruit"
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"Wine Counts as a Serving of Fruit"
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post #24 of 26
. . . if in the future she asks you the same question . . . "you're not offended, are you?" . . . I would flat out ask her . . . "I don't know, should I be . . . why do you ask" . . . maybe you will get to the bottom of it . . . in the mean time, don't try to read too much into it . . . guessing someone's heart motives can be a waste of emotional energy . . . 'cause you really are just guessing . . .
. . . Think of things not as they are . . . but as they might be . . . Don't merely dream . . . but create!!!
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. . . Think of things not as they are . . . but as they might be . . . Don't merely dream . . . but create!!!
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post #25 of 26
Beachcakes, I understand where you're coming from. My SIL is that way, I made a treasure chest cake for my nephew which was a big hit. she didn't like the attention drawn away from her party so suddenly after that she was a cake decorator and made the cakes herself. I was offended at first but I got over it. What kills me is when she brings grocery store made cakes to parties at my moms house knowing full well I'll be making something. You know you're good at what you do and that's all that matters. Maybe you could have said I would have gladly done the cake for you but I understand or something like that. Try to be gracious and enjoy the party.
post #26 of 26
I would be relived to not bring a cake. I still think I get invited to random childrens parties so I'll make the cake. But I usually end up doing it because I'm a big ol' dumba**. icon_smile.gif
"No boy is worth crying over. And the one who is won't make you cry." -Sarah Kane, Age 10
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"No boy is worth crying over. And the one who is won't make you cry." -Sarah Kane, Age 10
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