Wow...I feel for you for having to deal with total jerks!! especially the husband yes you should had hang up the phone the minute he started using language.

Two weeks ago I did a surprise 21st bday party for my daughter. When I distributed invitations I put in bold letters "surprise party" and ask them to RSVP at my cell. The first thing I said when I talk to the restaurant, the limo Co. etc was that it was a surprise party and asked them NOT to leave messages at the home phone, and guess what?? ...my daughter had the biggest surprise of her life

It only takes common sense, helloooo
Good luck!

I WHOLEHEARTELY agree... They had ordered a cake from someone else and didn't pay the bill (remember that one on Duff's show!)... Then were left scrambling to find something...

I've known a LOT of financially well off people... The one thing I've learned, the people that are going to keep that wealth long term are the people that realize what it took to get there... The rest, are all as Dick Cheney would say ... "Major League A's"...

I had a system for dealing with them that was successful, charge enough PITA fees to cover my stress.... SUUUUURE, you want sprinkles on your cake... That'll be an extra ... ... And always using my best talk off the tip of my nose...

The other thing to remember is that there are a LOT of people living in homes they can't afford with a lifestyle they can't afford either. One of the deputy's I know talks about calls to places that are half-mil or more homes and people are sleeping on the floor because they can't make the payments... OTOH, the most elaborately expensive house I've ever heard of on the outside was the most run down looking shack!!! ALL of the windows were lead crystal, interior was granite and stonework. The guy that owned it did take care of the exterior, but he just liked the simple look to the outside... But the inside was absolutely GORGEOUS!

I'll bet one thing's for sure about this whole situation... the next time you're taking an order for birthday cakes, you're going to ask if it's a surprise or not!!

Boy, did they miss out! Your cake is gorgeous! You should send the mom a picture of it with a note that says "This is the cake you COULD have had if your husband wasn't such an anal sac!" The daughter probably wouldn't have had a piece anyway because, (in a whiny voice), "it would make her too fat to fit in her Mini-Cooper". You should ask when the husband's birthday is, so you can make him a cake of a horse, with his picture on its backside!

What do you want to make a bet that the birthday girl is going to end up on Bridezillas in a few years?

[/quote]

Here is a great video for you all to watch.
http://www.cbsnews.com/sections/i_video/main500251.shtml?id=3486473n

This is my generation (i'm 22) and I know so many people that are like this it is ridiculous. I was raised on a farm and what a WORLD away from that I am. Can you say teach your children responsibility?
[/quote]

Thank you so much for that link. I sent it to everyone on my e-mail list. My DH and I have been calling them the "Me" generation. Because all they think about is what's in it for me.[/quote]

What I can't believe is that society is pandering to them (you have to talk to them like a talk show therapist and you can't tell them you're disappointed in them/their performance) instead of giving them a reality check. Why should a company's performance falter or fail because these guys can't cut it because their parents spoiled them rotten?

Not only are those parents rude and disrespectful, they're also not very quick, are they?

If my daughter had heard that voicemail and told me, I'd have said, "Ah, shoot, she spoiled your surprise. We know how much you love Mini Coopers, and we just can't afford one for you right now, so we thought we'd give you one-- just on a cake!" Then you could go ahead with the surprise party with the no-longer-a-surprise cake, and the big car surprise.

Of course, I'd never give my daughter a car, so I can only speculate...

You know if it took them a year to plan the party...perhaps the reason for the lengthy planning was just so they could get people to RSVP to the party

In any case...it must suck to be them

Process involved in planning a surprise party for a 17 year old (when party requires nothing larger than a sheet cake for servings):
1 - at DD's 16th b-day party mention to relatives that it would be fun to throw her a surprise party next year (since she doesn't appreciate the shin dig you provided for her 16th -- gotta one up it, ya' know!)
2 - 11 months later, send invites to DD's friends (e-mail family 'cause it's more convenient and doesn't require postage ... besides they'll get it quicker and since you put it off .... )
3 - Call a baker a week before the event (preferrably when you're waiting for paperwork for new car to be completed) 'cause the baker shouldn't need too much more time than that .. they're doing all the work the day of the party anyway, right?
4 - The day of the party, make sure your maid did a good job cleaning the house. Then, run to party supply store and pick up plates, napkins, plasticware and some hellium balloons. If you're really good, throw in some streamers to add stress to your day! On the way home, stop off at grocery for soda pop and ice cream.

I mean really, how hard is it to plan a party for 20+/- people?????

I'm with you dawncr -- make the girl feel like the party/cake was the surprise (SOL, kid, but I hope you like what we did get you). The car should have been the surprise ... the rest of it she won't be focusing on. Of course, now she's saying "Thanks for the car daddy, but I wanted it in _____ (insert color here). And, where's my cake?"

Oh, almost forgot! And at the very end of the video..... they want the boss to send THEIR MOMMY a letter telling her what a nice job little JOhnnie is doing?????

Give me a freakin' break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have about 20 millenials working for me, and what the artile said about them being great or a disaster is spot on. Almost not a day goes by that I don't have to say " When you sign my check, then we can have this talk, until then you need to do what you are asked or find another job"

txkat, I had a friend who ran a small restaurant that I went to everyday for lunch. She told me one young man working for her thought every conversation she had was his business.

"What did that guy want? What was he selling? How much is it? Are you buying it? Why? Why Not?" Over and over, constantly!! When she did the "I'm the one that signs the checks" thing, he told her "Any decision you make affects my job so I think I have right to know about your decisions."

The right to know? SOrry ... I must have missed the part where HE wrote HER a check for his share of the investment!!

Turns out he grew up in a house where mommy and daddy were both lawyers, so I guess giving someone a cross-examination came naturally to him!

Oh I have a better one than that...apparently one of my little millenials told one of my VERY best customers that she shouldn't bring her children in for gelato so often. They were going to get diabetes and it was going to be the mother's fault.

Yep, she said it out loud, to a beautiful slender European woman who was quite upset by it, needless to say.

OMG Kat.. I would have canned her right there. There is no excuse for that.

She is history. She just doesn't know it yet because she hasn't been on the schedule since I heard about the incident.

One of my other employees was standing next to me as the customer told me the story. She looked at me and said " Saying the word diabetes in a bakery is like saying bomb in an airport...you just don't do it."

I absolutely laughed until I almost threw up.

Sorry long post...

This is driving me nuts. People think they can tell anyone how to do whatever they want.
I do not need for someone to tell me what to do with my kids and what to have them eat or not eat.
I know how many times they eat fruits, veggies and meats and I know when I am comfortable with them eating a cookie or a sweet snack.
I really like the live and let live thing and I feel it's being pulled away from me everyday.
I am so afraid of the ME generation, I understand that they seem to have their priorities straight of course it's all about them. But I do not understand how they think they can tell ME what to do and I cannot do the same. If these little brats say something to me that is rude. I am not allowed to tell them they were rude for fear of hurting their little feelings..... ARGH.

We have come to the conclusion that we associate with people who think like us and are realistic about what is acceptable.
People who baby their children to an unreal level I just leave behind.
We will continue to teach our children to be proud of themselves for working hard. Have fun when all the work is done. Relatively -- our boys are 6, 4, and 1 so we make rules that apply now and in the long run I sure hope that works for us. It's no always fun to clean up and pick up toys, but when they are done and they know when most of their toys are. It's a good feeling and they are happy and proud!
Also being polite is a great thing. There is nothing more satisfying for me then to have people tell me how polite and nice our kids are when they speak with them. This is often just before they tell me how loud and how much fun they seem to have when they are playing outside.

Raising kids is a lot of work it's not easy and the end product is rewarding... 99% of the time that is. I am just hoping that our guidance pays off 10-20 years from now.... It's already mostly out of our hands. The arrow is flying our efforts are to keep them in the right direction and flying straight!


Ok off the soapbox....

That video made me shake my head. SERIOUSLY!!! Is that a workplace or a daycare! I worked in daycare for years and to me, it looked like the same things we did with our 2-5 year olds! The certificates with stickers of stars and balloons to say, "yay, you did a good job" is definitely something we'd do for them. Absolutely ridiculous. You'd think a paycheck would be reward enough for a job well done. I mean, it's always nice to have your boss say, "thanks, you're doing great." But really now, call mommy to tell her that her 23 year old is doing wonderfully at work. Makes me wonder if they're capable of wiping their own a$$es! Maybe they need a certificate for doing that as well. I'm very old school in my beliefs of raising children, probably comes from being raised by my grandparents and their old fashioned beliefs. When my kids to good, they receive praise. When they mess up, they receive the proper discipline and are told this is on you! You make the decision to to right or wrong for yourself and the consequences of each fall on your shoulders. And though some people think I'm hard on them, I have well behaved, respectful, honor students, who are constantly complimented on by teachers, other parents, and complete strangers. How has parenting gone so wrong that we've gotten to this?

Txkat....I cannot imagine!!! What gall to say to someone when you really don't have a clue!!! The know it all attitude of this generation is what has the shaking my head the most. And the worst part is that, as their parents did in childhood when they threw fits, society is caving in and changing to make them stop their "temper tantrums" and we all know that only makes things worse. They'll continue with that philosophy and those actions as long as they continue to get their way. Someone forgot to teach these kids that life isn't fair.

My girlfriends and I have this discussion all the time. We have said repeatedly that our job as parents is to turn these children into respectable, hard working adults. It's not to be their best friend or have them happy with every decision we make. We are blessed to have them, but that amount of time we have them is so short in the grand scheme of things, so we have little time to teach them what they need. NO WAY my kids are getting dessert before dinner. I know someone who constantly gives in. They have older children, way out of toddler years, who still throw tantrums and cry when they don't get their way. They come in the kitchen whining they're hungry while mom's cooking supper, and she lets them have snacks, then they don't want to eat the meal she's taken the time to prepare. Your example, kbrown, is a perfect one!!!

I think that as much fault lies with the boomer generation as it does with the "millenials." I mean, the millenials, by and large, are the children of the boomers, and I think it's a classic case of "you reap what you sow." Unfortunately, the ones doing the reaping are usually not the ones who did the sowing!

My brother and I are both children of the 80's. I was born in 77 and he was born in 81. Both of US agree, fire the little sh**s. They'll learn soon enough, if you stop trying to cater to them. Work ethic grows in LEAPS AND BOUNDS when you can't pay your bills, and if Mummy and Daddy are willing to fork it over to them, well, that's fine, they're out of the workforce where they aren't useful ANYWAY.

Sarah,
I totally have the problem with my kids crying about being "starving" right as I'm fixing dinner. I must seem like a heartless wench compared to some parents because I let them "starve" until dinner is ready. Of course, I also tell them they don't know the true meaning of the word starve. Sorry to continue the off-topic, but just wanted to say it.

I am told that I only threw a temper tantrum as a child once. Not only did I not get my way, my mother immediately packed everything up, took me home, and put me in my room--an effective punishment when I wasn't allowed to have a TV or any toys in there to play with!

On the TV subject, though, my TV watching wasn't so much monitored as discussed. Because my mother knew that if she didn't let me watch it on her TV, I'd just go to the neighbors' houses and watch it there. So she dicussed with me WHY she found it objectionable and WHY she would prefer that I didn't watch it. I think that did a lot for my social adaption in that respect.