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Why won't people control their kids???!??? - Page 7

post #91 of 128
7/9/08 at 10:15am
I am a proud mother to a 2 year old girl, who I of course think is the cutiest lil girl ever! I agree wholehartedly with many of these posts. It is the parents responsibilities to control their children. My daughter has not been to a wedding, funeral or adult social gathering yet. She has been to many restraurants and acts well. The minute she starts to act up, we leave the restraunt and she knows she is in trouble. It only takes once. We go back in and she is an angel. If we are invitied to an adult social gathering, my girl goes to Grandma's for an overnight visit! My daughter is very well behaved, says yes, please and thank you. We have insisted on these responses since before she could talk. She is a very happy girl and I think all kids need structure. They may all test this structure, but NEED to know that the parents are in charge, not the kid. I love my daughter more than life itself, but I know when and where my daughters attendance is appropriate. Kudos to all the parents out there who take the time to teach their kids right and wrong. It is not always easy to do this, but it is the RIGHT thing to do!
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Proud mama to Maddie!
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Proud mama to Maddie!
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post #92 of 128
7/9/08 at 10:25am
Wow, how shameful of those parents not to respect the hosts. I haven't read everyone's posts, but would like to add that this was not the kids' fault... but their parents. At 3 & 5(ish), they only know to do what they've been allowed to & it is just common sense to keep your kids away from a wedding cake - you KNOW they'll stick their fingers in it at least! Especially though, when they've already been asked once! I always advise that my cakes are "guaranteed through delivery", sometimes I get a sideways glance, so I add that I cannot be responsible if someone knocks over the cake table........ but I've never actually heard of it happening! Your friend was VERY classy!! I hope she was able to get something else for her family picnic!
Go out on a limb - that's where the fruit is!
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Go out on a limb - that's where the fruit is!
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post #93 of 128
7/9/08 at 10:50am
I am a full time nanny (not paid hourly) and a babysitter and I get paid $8 an hr. So my first thing is that the little girl I nanny for is 3. When she knows she did something wrong or when I ask her a question she completely ignores me. And then I get mad and get a tone and she starts crying. Kind of makes me think her parent doesn't discipline at all. EVERY time. Also, she doesn't eat her lunch. It really bothers me when kids don't eat their foods. I don't give her a lot and sometimes she will eat one bite and sometimes nothing. What do I do? I mean shes not my kid but I'm not going to let her walk all over me.

The second thing is that yeah a college student wanting $20 an hr for babysitting? No way. I am a college student and if I wanted that I wouldn't have a job! That is just crazy.
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post #94 of 128
7/9/08 at 11:13am
Quote:
Originally Posted by missmeg

Quote:
Originally Posted by sadiepix

I can' never figure why kids that young need to be at a wedding/reception anyway. They are bored, don't know why they are there, and in so many cases act up and make things miserable for others.

When I told some friends my wedding was to be kid free I actually got shocked stares! Why? It is a grown-up party, not a Chuckie-Cheese.


I don't think it's fair to make such a blanket statement like that.

I attended my niece's wedding 2 weeks ago with my children, ages 5 and 7. The bride's new nieces were there, ages 5, 3, and 1. All five children behaved appropriately, had a great time, and were the life of the party! None of them threw a tantrum, a napkin, or put a finger near the cake (not my cake, either).

Some children can act appropriately at those kinds of events. Others are more spirited and don't do well at formal occasions. But not all kids act bad at weddings.



Yes not all kids behave bad, but how do you only invite the well-behaved ones and not the bad one without causing a huge family eruption?

I'm debating this myself - kids at the wedding or not. I have a large extended family and some of my cousin's are like the parent's in the OP, way more interested in alcohol than watching their children. I've seen the kids run havoc at every major family event. YET, I know other cousin's children are angels, and I would love to have them there.

It seems that it would be easier for the whole family just to have a blanket "no kids" policy (lol, althougth with my redneck family, they'd ignore it anyways, bring the kids, and the responsible parent's who left their kids at home would be spending their whole time wrangling in the other kids!)

I'm with the rigirous screening process before people should be able to have kids... also make them get a dog and properly train them first... it is a good initial step in learning responsibility (although people neglect animals more than they neglect children!)
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post #95 of 128
7/9/08 at 11:15am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsEason070707

I am a full time nanny (not paid hourly) and a babysitter and I get paid $8 an hr. So my first thing is that the little girl I nanny for is 3. When she knows she did something wrong or when I ask her a question she completely ignores me. And then I get mad and get a tone and she starts crying. Kind of makes me think her parent doesn't discipline at all. EVERY time. Also, she doesn't eat her lunch. It really bothers me when kids don't eat their foods. I don't give her a lot and sometimes she will eat one bite and sometimes nothing. What do I do? I mean shes not my kid but I'm not going to let her walk all over me.

The second thing is that yeah a college student wanting $20 an hr for babysitting? No way. I am a college student and if I wanted that I wouldn't have a job! That is just crazy.



I'd sit down with the parents and explain what the problem is and ask them how they want you to handle it .... what are your boundaries in discipline? The problem I keep seeing is that no one knows what their boundaries are ... parents are afraid to spank in public for fear of being reported, sitters are afraid to punish for fear of loosing their jobs, kids have no ideas what they are allowed to do and not allowed to do because the discipline (if any) is situational (are we at home or in public ... discipline is often different based on where you are and who's watching). If the parents don't want you spanking their kid, fine .... but a special spot for time out shouldn't be a problem. In fact ... the parents probably don't know how to control their kid and probably hired you to help them figure out what's working and what's not working. Keeping them completely informed on what's going on would help you.

As far as not eating .... my kids go through stages of that. It's normal. What I do is offer them their lunch. If they don't eat it, I wrap it up and put it in the fridge. When they ask for a snack or something, out comes the lunch. They don't get ANYTHING until they eat what they're supposed to eat. Remember, though, they've got little belllys. We tend to over eat -- they only need a quarter of what we would eat.
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post #96 of 128
7/9/08 at 11:27am
My former pastor's daughter got married 5 years ago and had separate receptions for the kids and the adults.

Kids had hot dogs and chips; cookies and punch with a HUGE gingerbread house and a candy filled pinata (groom is Mexican-American).

Parents had a lovely "adult" reception.

I know this isn't possible or feasible in all situations, but, it worked for her and everyone had a nice time!

Beth in KY
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post #97 of 128
7/9/08 at 2:41pm
Thread Starter 
**Try to remember I was talking originally about VERY young kids. By the time they reach school age and can understand being at a function and even having fun/being able to play quietly with other kids things take on another angle, barring just awful behavior past that age thanks to the parents.

**Yes, I was mostly fussing over the parents acting so badly and unable/unwilling to control the kids. I don't hate kids in general and was not blaming them for the behavior.

**I have to agree with the posters stating the "One bad apple" sentiment. If I know 2 of my friends/family have rotten kids, how can I ask them not to come but let the parents of well-behaved kids bring them? That is not fair.

**I wish we had that community spirit here, where the whole "village" as it were, could be in attendance, but if the "village" and the kids in it aren't raised in that spirit to begin with, there is no across the board understanding of how to act, and you get piles of those "bad apples".
(I used quotes on "village" as I live in a large town and wanted to show that included far-flung family/friends etc.)

It comes down to "to each their own" again. The hosts of any event can choose to exclude kids if they prefer. (Or adults that behave badly) The parents can then choose not to attend. They chose to have kids and have to make decisions based on that, both for behavior and bedtimes and everything else.



I just thought it was awful that such BLATANT disregard for a person's wedding was being shown, as even with naughty kids I would expect the parents to be ashamed and apologetic after such a disaster. I don't expect kids to be angelic, but I do expect the parents to take some responsibility. That is where my beef lies.

And yes, my friend was great about it, and so was the family who thanked her.
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post #98 of 128
7/9/08 at 3:13pm
It shows a blatant disregard & respect for other people & only the parents are to blame for this problem. I wish they would realize that unruly kids grow up into unruly adults.
June
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June
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post #99 of 128
7/9/08 at 4:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by superstar

If children do not learn from day one that there is a line you do not cross, how do parents expect their children to grow up knowing right from wrong.Discipline, teaching & making sure your child is doing the right thing is part of being a parent.



Day one, that's the key. I baby-sit a 20 month boy 2 days a week. He does things to his parents that he wouldn't dream of doing here. They are very doting and I think they think he's too young to really discipline.

I made a cake for his mom to take to a retirement party and while we were in the kitchen looking at it, he shot up the stairs. He never does that! She got him off and he was about to do it again when I said, "Ryan, no stairs right now. Get down please." in a firm voice. Her jaw about hit the floor when he listened!

This is a sweet child, but he knows they aren't gonna do anything when he misbehaves. He hits them, pulls hair and pinches cheeks and they say nothing!!! He wouldn't dare try that to me.
Andi
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Andi
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post #100 of 128
7/9/08 at 4:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by thems_my_kids

Her jaw about hit the floor when he listened!


We were visiting friends who were those kind of parents. Kids were playing in the basement family room. Dad goes downstairs and "threatens" the kids if they don't stop doing whatever they were doing. Dad goes upstairs. Their 7-year old son (SEVEN!) says to my daughter, "They always say they're going to do stuff, but they never do."

Kids are not stupid. Too bad we can't always say the same thing about their parents.
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post #101 of 128
7/9/08 at 6:11pm
Absolutely, you start training & disciplining your child from day he/she is born. Ther are NEVER to young to learn. That way they grow up to be an asset not a liability.
June
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June
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post #102 of 128
7/9/08 at 7:10pm
crislen- i agree with you. how do you really know who's kids are going to behave and who's aren't??? and unfortunatly you can't discriminate saying who can and can't bring their kids, so if you're worried about your beautiful, probably EXPENSIVE, wedding ceremony and reception being disrupted whether intentionally or unintentionally by unruly children, it's best to say no kids. And if anything, maybe they can hire a day care provider or 2 for an offsite area. you know?? But if i was shelling out a hell of a lot of money for a "formalish" type of wedding, i'd probably say no kids. if i was having a casual backyard type affair, then sure. it all depends on the atmoshpere you're trying to set.

But ofcourse it's to each their own. To say yes to kids, or no to kids and also for someone to say yes or no to going w/out their kids.
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post #103 of 128
7/9/08 at 7:23pm
While I understand this is all conversation, so don't blast me, but as we throw out terms like "no kids allowed", or "no kids", "No children" and "kids not invited", allow me to share that according to Peggy Post, invitations are about "inviting" people, not "excluding" people, so it is considered very improper to word the invitation in such a manner.

http://www.weddingchannel.com/ui/buildArticle.action?frmSection=articles&assetPath=%2Ftemplates%2FArticles%2FNonContentSet%2FExperts%2FPeggyPost%2Farticle_1798.html

http://www.superweddings.com/etiquette.html

You may be able to use the above websites to help educate brides on proper wedding etiquette, when/where appropriate.
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post #104 of 128
7/9/08 at 7:45pm
Your friend is one classy lady. I thinks he handled herself well - and I'm glad to hear someone said something to the parents and sent them on their way!

ccr03 - I think it depends on region and family. My family is large but very close - I can think of only a handful of weddings within our family that excluded children. And all of those were held by children of people who'd moved away - so they weren't as close to the rest of us. I had an afternoon wedding outdoors - reception outdoors - children welcome. Wouldn't have dreamt of doing it any other way. The kids had a blast playing in the yard, walking down to the creek and even found a snake to torture in the woods.
Stephanie
Momma to 3 stinky boys
Caden (5), Wyatt (3), and Grady (1)
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Stephanie
Momma to 3 stinky boys
Caden (5), Wyatt (3), and Grady (1)
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post #105 of 128
7/9/08 at 7:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by jadak

Quote:
Originally Posted by chutzpah

Stupid people shouldn't breed.



My opinion has always been that women should have to apply to get their ovaries turned on. There should be a tough arduous screening process! (and A LOT of rejected applicants!) icon_lol.gif



I am late in reading this post but that is the funniest darn thing I have ever read!!!!!
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Don't take for granted what you have today, it may be gone tomorrow! Rest in Peace Momma! 9/24/49 to 11/18/09
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