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Why won't people control their kids???!??? - Page 6

post #76 of 128
7/8/08 at 5:13pm
I have a big problem with the lack of discipline & training.

It is easy to be a bad parent, you just have the child & let him/her do whatever they like. It is much harder to be a good parent & teach children what is acceptable & what is not. If children do not learn from day one that there is a line you do not cross, how do parents expect their children to grow up knowing right from wrong.Discipline, teaching & making sure your child is doing the right thing is part of being a parent. I do admire your friend for her loving kindess. I think I would have been more likely to have told the parents what I thought of them, they are the problem they have not done their job. I also shudder when I hear a parent saying I want to be their friend. You can be a parent or you can be a friend, you can't be both until your child is grown up.
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post #77 of 128
7/8/08 at 5:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by butterflywings

ok... Alisoncooks... I'm not that far from pittsboro, and I have two teenager sitters (one just graduated highschool, the other is 15) they both get paid $7/hr and are more than happy with that. any teenager that thinks she/he is going to get $20 an hour to sit with my kids is NUTS. i don't even make $20/hr as a freakin' preschool teacher.. so i don't THINK SO.

sorry, that freaked me out a bit



Oh, don't I know it! DH and I were quoted $20/hr by a college student/friend and we were like "What!?!" And we only had the one kid at the time! We would've paid more for the sitter than for our whole "date." Which is why cheapie me is clawing at the door eager for escape after 2 years of being trapped in the house with little ones icon_biggrin.gif. Who knows, maybe when I finally get a "grown-up" night out, I may be the "rico" with my DH trying to chase me down as I run crazy around "the walmarts" (as my granddad says).
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post #78 of 128
7/8/08 at 5:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by alisoncooks

DH and I were quoted $20/hr by a college student/friend



Oh, that's just your typical "I am a college Grad-U-Wait and I deserve top dollar for any of my services!"

This little girl is in for a rude awakening when she hits the REAL job market!

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post #79 of 128
7/9/08 at 8:01am
Quote:
Originally Posted by sadiepix

I can' never figure why kids that young need to be at a wedding/reception anyway. They are bored, don't know why they are there, and in so many cases act up and make things miserable for others.

When I told some friends my wedding was to be kid free I actually got shocked stares! Why? It is a grown-up party, not a Chuckie-Cheese.


I don't think it's fair to make such a blanket statement like that.

I attended my niece's wedding 2 weeks ago with my children, ages 5 and 7. The bride's new nieces were there, ages 5, 3, and 1. All five children behaved appropriately, had a great time, and were the life of the party! None of them threw a tantrum, a napkin, or put a finger near the cake (not my cake, either).

Some children can act appropriately at those kinds of events. Others are more spirited and don't do well at formal occasions. But not all kids act bad at weddings.
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post #80 of 128
7/9/08 at 8:13am
My children also behave very well in formal occasions, but I wouldn't think twice if someone said the event was to be kid free. Some kids just don't behave at all and I can see why the bride wouldn't want them ruining her wedding. Also if there is going to be alcohol, that would be more of a reason for some to say no kids allowed.
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post #81 of 128
7/9/08 at 8:13am
I haven't read every post but will respond to the original question.

Parents don't discipline their children because they don't want to squelch their imagination and individuality.

Having said that....uhhhhh....let's just say there is a reason people liked being around my children. It was DISCIPLINE!

Your friend handled that situation so well. I agree with indydebi. My fav part of the whole story was when the MIL yelled at the parents!

Beth in KY
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post #82 of 128
7/9/08 at 8:14am
Sounds like the problem the original OP is really trying to say is it's not the kids that are an issue, it's the parents. If they did their job consistently, their kids would know boundaries and how to behave in any circumstance. In the words of the Umpa Loompas .... "Who is to blame if the kid is a brat? The mother and the father!" Honestly, I feel sorry for these kids! The parents don't care enough to discipline and want to be their kids friends instead of their parents .... the kids need parents! This being said from someone with a 9 and 6 year old who attended a wedding with us last weekend. They sat still through the service and had no elbows on the table during the reception ... and they even had fun!
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post #83 of 128
7/9/08 at 8:29am
I'm one of those people who pretty much don't go to anything that is "no kids". I'm a little taken aback by the poster who stated that it is disrepectful to decline an invitation that does not include kids. Perhaps you have the misapprehension that it is easy or affordable to find a sitter. It is not, at least not where I live. When you tell me "no kids", you are pretty much telling me a minimum of an extra hour driving to pick up/drop off the sitter before and after the event (with kids in tow) and a hundred bucks. If a sitter is even available. Plus I'm one of those people who actually hates to be away from my kids. Some people have no problem leaving their kids, and that's great for them, but I get those mother bear feelings about being seperated from them. Maybe it will be different when they are in school, but for now, that's the way it is. So for me, at least, arranging a sitter has a cost in time, money and stress. I wouldn't suggest that kids should be permitted for my convenience, but that means that unless the event is very special, I probably will not choose to pay the costs of attending.
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post #84 of 128
7/9/08 at 8:35am
Discipline is definitely a challenge, especially when you get in public, but is CERTAINLY ACHIEVABLE if parents TRY. My kids are 4,3,1 and I can say I don't have that kind of trouble that they would go put their hands in someone else's cake or be that rowdy cause they know that wouldn't fly with us. Last weekend I heard that some little kid had put their hands in a wedding cake I delivered, before the bride had gotten her pictures with it even, but atleast I was able to relax and know that kid's not my problem. It's unfortunate that kids create that issue at such happy occasions, but like we say, you gotta start with the parents; each parent knows whether they should really just get a babysitter instead of putting others through their "presence" icon_smile.gif
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post #85 of 128
7/9/08 at 8:53am
Bravo to your friend for being so kind and thoughtful to the bride and groom. They will always remember their wedding day and the wonderful lady who came to the rescue when the cakes were sent toppling. Good customer service is rare indeed, but she went above and beyond that and I am glad that it was recognized and rewarded. thumbs_up.gif
My family went to a wedding last year that was in the early evening and kids were included. The bride and groom wanted everyone to enjoy their time and set up a kids area. There were small picnic tables, bubbles, toys and arts and crafts available to the kids. They had hired a neighbors daughter to oversee things. I commented to my friend, the MOB what a great idea. She said they had gone to the Dollar Tree and picked up $20 worth of stuff to make it easier for the parents and so the kids would have something to do at the reception. I know not everyone can do that, but I thought it was a great idea. However, if my kids starting running around acting crazy they know the fun would have ended and we would be marching their butts to the car and heading home. You can have fun, but still have discipline.
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post #86 of 128
7/9/08 at 9:04am
I have a question for all/anyone who wants to answer.

I'm Mexican (woo-hoo! icon_smile.gif ) and my family is from a very small village in Mexico but a LARGE portion of it is here. Our weddings are informal where the whole family - kids and all - go. Example, at my sister's wedding 11 years ago we had 500-700 people at the dance, maybe 300-400 for the food. And since it's the same 'circle' of friends (because we're all from the same village) all the kids just run around and play with each. Yeah, there are the kids that are mean and really misbehave, but I guess for the post part the reception part of the wedding if like a big party.

So here's my question, is it a cultural thing where Americans don't want kids at wedding receptions? Like I couldn't imagine a wedding reception without kids.

Oh, and just a bit of a tidbit, at all the 'village' weddings I've been to, the kids have never knocked over a cake or damaged it in a severe way.

I've only been to one American wedding and it was a co-worker's daughter earlier this year.

Just curious.....
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post #87 of 128
7/9/08 at 9:43am
It is not that Americans don't want children at the weddings at all. I would love for my kids to be everywhere with me, but I know my cousin doesn't really like children so I can see her saying no kids allowed.
Also maybe some couples know ahead time that some of the kids in their family or their friends family don't behave and instead of telling them not to bring their kids they just simply say no kids at all.
I have never been to an event that said no kids, but I have still decided sometimes it would be best if they didn't attend. Not for behavior issues but because I knew there would be a lot of drinking and I didn't want them around that.
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post #88 of 128
7/9/08 at 9:51am
I don't think it's a cultural thing. I'm Mexican too, and I live right on the border. So I have alot of family here in the US and in Mexico still. And I think most of the wedding I've been too, ask for no kids on their invitations.

I think I did too. But of course..whether they listen to you or not...that is a whole other story. I had a big wedding....300-400 people....I hated it. And I think the kids running around was the least of my worries.

Either way...when I go to these kind of events I try to find a sitter for my almost 2 year old. He's not gonna enjoy, get fussy, and then we'll be having to run around after him....therefore not enjoying the event ourselves...so no point in taking him.


I think if you do take your kids...you should really keep an eye on them. I mean...its not about your kids, its about the bride and groom. I think out of respect you should try to give them the best day possible.

I admire the action of the decorator. She basically saved them! I hope those parents got to paid for the mess they did!

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post #89 of 128
7/9/08 at 10:01am
hmmm, maybe it's a 'village' thing for us then. icon_confused.gif

plus, I guess my view on weddings is a bit different. Like yeah, it's about the couple, but I see it more are the ceremony being about the couple and the reception being a celebration of the love. I also don't like being the center of attention, so I wouldn't want everyone 'fawning' over me on my wedding day.
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post #90 of 128
7/9/08 at 10:08am
It sad these days, parents just dont want to be parents, they want to either be their kids best friend or find it easier to ignore bad behavior then to confront it. There are 4 kids in my family and we knew that when out in public we behavied or else a swift pop to the tush was not far behind.

My little brother is 11 and a type one diabetic and when his blood sugar is off he gets upset, angery, sad etc, he cant help it, its chemicals in his body causeing it. But my parents work with him at understanding this and being able to calm himself down. Different situations/kids call for different actions but no action from parents is never going to lead anywhere good.

PS Your friend is a saint!
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