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Why won't people control their kids???!??? - Page 4

post #46 of 128
7/4/08 at 11:37am
Well, in truth, I have THE cutest kids!!! HAHAHA!!
I have a son who will give ANY terror out there a run for his money. But he's only 17 months, and I swear my husband is more of a handful than either of my kids. UGH! I have no problem when people say "No kids". I'm not offended, I'm happy to have a reason to leave them at home!

My daughter was the "perfect" child. She would play quietly by herself with her little toys, and I could enjoy myself. She even got invited to people's homes who are SO not 'kid-friendly". I'm not holding my breath that we'll get the same invites with our DS. That being said, I KNEW when to bring her home. The minute that she took the first running step we were gone! at the first fuss, we were out! No if's ands or buts. Even if I hadn't had supper yet, or was in the middle of it.

It's all about resposibility for yourself, your kids, and your spouse!
Eat Smart... Eat Cake!!!
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Eat Smart... Eat Cake!!!
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post #47 of 128
7/4/08 at 11:44am
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi



ziggy, I did the same when my kids were small. When my then-10-year old daughter complained about "why do I have to go to bed at 8:30?" I told her "because this is MY quiet time and I intend to spend it quietly! Now go to bed!"




The early bedtime for the little ones is becoming a long lost art. It is great for the kids and for the parents. 8:00 bedtime, and when you were old enough to read and thought you should stay up later? Fine...you can read in your bed until 8:30.

I got to relax and spend time with my husband every day. My kids had the security of a good routine and enough sleep to be manageable. And I was much better prepared to handle what the next day would bring!
"To laugh often and to love much..., to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to give one's self..., this is to have succeeded."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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"To laugh often and to love much..., to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to give one's self..., this is to have succeeded."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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post #48 of 128
7/4/08 at 12:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakegal

Oh, man.
My son's wedding is coming up this month.
I'm doing the cake...

...The cake will be set up out of the way...but you know kids.... they can find a way to get into things without even trying.
I hope all goes well. I'll probably end up cutting the cake as well....



I have a thought for you if you don't mind. You didn't ask and it's none of my business so I apologize in advance for being out of line. I don't mean for it to be. Just an observation.

Consider getting someone other than you to cut the cake even if they don't do it very well.

Two reasons

One) Being Mother of the Groom is a full time job all on it's own. Creating the cake on top of that is already going the extra kilometer. You are gonna be pretty drained.

Two) The new couple gets more attention centered on them than if we start passing out cake and collecting well deserved (but not the best time for it) compliments. In some cases it kinda creates it's own receiving line for love of our cake. I mean if you are standing there you are a captive audience. No where to run to baby no where to hide. But if someone has to come find you to complement you that's not so bad.

Lately my relatives still want me to do thier cake but choose to cut it later in the event because it's all about me after that. That could easily sound like I'm giant ego-girl but I'm not. I mostly avoid being around where my cakes are served.

So just some total random open hearted possibly dumb headed thoughts for you.

I hope your family's special day is triumphantly spectacular and shiny bright in love and all that is good. But consider giving yourself a break.

Love & Prayers,
Kate
 
 

 

 

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post #49 of 128
7/4/08 at 12:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ziggytarheel



The early bedtime for the little ones is becoming a long lost art. It is great for the kids and for the parents. 8:00 bedtime, and when you were old enough to read and thought you should stay up later? Fine...you can read in your bed until 8:30.



As a kid, and now, I'm a night-owl. I don't think I would have ever been able to sleep at 8:30....but I did go to my room.

it does seem to be becoming a lost art though - I'm amazed at the people who have kids under 6 out at 11:00 at night at restaurants and events and such. WHY? Especially if I'm out late (as an adult) and I want to eat my meal in peace at 9:00 at night.... WHY should I have to listen to your screaming child at that hour? Or why don't you at least shut them up or take them home! I just don't think young kids should be out that late - and I know it's not the kid's choice.

I do like kids most of the time and I even think sometimes at restaurants babies and young children can be very cute - when they are well behaved - but I still don't think they should be out that late.
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post #50 of 128
7/4/08 at 2:14pm
Ugh... I do not like kids, and it drives me crazy to see all these disrespectful parents dragging their kids about to adult events, and not making sure they behave.

Blah.
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post #51 of 128
7/5/08 at 4:15pm
I have 3 kids. (16, 13, 11...ages)

But I abhor unbehaved kids. And I get really cranky when I make reservations for a quiet night out with dh and they seat a screaming kids at the table next to me at 8 pm. Get a sitter! Now my nice quiet, kid free evening with my dh that I rarely get, has been compromised. grrrr.

Raising kids is a huge commitment. That means as a parent we may have to stay home when we want to be out. Tough. People who are not willing to make those types of sacrifices for their kids should think harder about having them. I had to do make adjustments, too. That is just the way it works. Kids come first. I missed plenty of family events, etc just because I knew my kids would likely disturb others. And believe me, my kids are/were very well behaved. It was just unfair to fool myself into thinking that they would behave like adults and not want to run around or get bored and whiney after an hour or two. Kids just do not have that ability. They want to explore and have fun. They were kids. That is what they do best.

It is not fun for the kids to be at adult restraunts/events. They do not like the food and there is nothing for them to do. Of course they are usually going to get unruly. Why do that to them? The parents need to be spanked.

I sound like a shrew, don't I?

Sorry, but nearly EVERY time I have had the chance to be out with dh for a nice quiet meal ( usually around 8 or 9 pm), someone brings tired kids or even poor little babies out who scream, holler, run around and just completely destroy any chance of us having a pleasant evening out together. It is not the kids fault either. ( I am not talking about fast food chain restraunts either, I am talking about places that require reservations. sigh- next time I am going to demand to be re-seated away from the kids even if we are smack in the middle of our meal. Maybe the restraunts will take notice after awhile)

Kids are lovely on playgrounds, but not next to me on my two or three times in a year that I get to spend quietly with my husband out at dinner.

Ok..there it is...my evil, mean side. No fraud here. One of my biggest pet peeves ever...revealed on CC.

Back to my regularly scheduled niceness. heh.

I feel sorry for that bride. And the cake decorator is/was a saint.
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post #52 of 128
7/6/08 at 11:09am
I have actually heard of some restaurants having a "family" section specifically for people with kids - so that the other diners can enjoy a nice meal without listening to little junior call "mom, mom, mom, mom" for 20 minutes. icon_smile.gif Not such an awful idea maybe

Sorry, don't know what restaurant that was - may have even been something in Europe. I heard about it on another forum that families were complaining about it. :p
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post #53 of 128
7/6/08 at 8:53pm
Such a nice thing for your friend to use her other cake to try to fix that poor bride's situation. I'm sure she was sooo grateful. I would love to find out if those 'parents' (I use that term loosely) ended up paying and/or staying.

I have 2 boys who are three and five. For the most part... they are well behaved, and I've gotten many compliments on their behavior from strangers. We both (DH & I) have always said that we would do whatever it took to not raise bratty, out of control kids. If we don't control them... no one else will. More importantly.... if we don't control them now while they are young.... we're doomed later on.

HOWever, they definitely have their moments.... they're kids... they get tired, cranky, stubborn etc. If we are on the verge of one of those moments, and it can't be quashed quickly, we're done. I will not ruin someone else's dinner.

If we go out to dinner with the kids, we make sure it is at a family friendly place, at a reasonable time. I love it when we are out somewhere and someone else's child is misbehaving, and my 5 year old will say something like 'that kid is not behaving mommy....his mommy or daddy needs to take him outside'. A lot of times, those are the oblivious parents.
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post #54 of 128
7/7/08 at 9:46am
I SOoooo agree with tiggerbounce!!! Lately my dh and I have started ordering and eating our dinner at the restaurant bar, since by law children cannot be seated at the bar. (Mind you, these are chain restaurants like TGI Friday's since we cannot afford the more expensive places.) But if we were at an expensive restaurant and our dinner was being ruined by a screaming, overtired child at the next table~ I would definitely demand to be reseated!
Chocolate is my drug of choice....
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Chocolate is my drug of choice....
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post #55 of 128
7/7/08 at 10:16am
Even though I was unable to have kids of my own, I love children! I teach 4 year olds in children's church and love them. It's the parents I don't like. We go to a restaurant and parents are letting their kids run around while waiters try to dodge them. If I had behaved like these kids did.....well, I wouldn't because I wanted to live. The kids are raising the parents instead of the other way around.

Your friend is a wonderful lady. She definitely went above and beyond.
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post #56 of 128
7/7/08 at 5:06pm
Thread Starter 
Wow, I did not even see this had more comments! (I lost electricity for 4 days...ugh.)

I have since chatted with my caker friend. She received a check in the mail to cover the cost of the cake she gave of her own to save the Bride's day. Also a giftcard to Michaels as a thank-you. This was from the MIL, but signed by bride and groom also.

The note inside thanked her profusely and told her that the parents were asked (ummm...screamed at I think! icon_smile.gif) to take their kids home in a taxi (parents had been drinking) and not return if they had no intention of paying for the damage. They did not want to pay, so they left with the security escort (so they would not try to drive).

My friend acted classy, and so did the B&G and MIL. I was glad they thanked her so well, she said she has gone above the call before and gotten nothing so much as a thanks before.


As for the kids issue?
I don't have a problem with a kid behaving well in a place where kids are welcome and a normal thing. But really, is a late evening party they cannot even begin to understand a place they need to be?

My wedding reception will be a late night party after a quick outdoor ceremony. Lots of booze and adults. I doubt I would even have to put "NO KIDS" on the invites, though I will, as everyone I know knows that not only do I not like kids in general, but they would not belong at my reception by any standards, unless you are okay with your kid watching adults get a bit sauced and talk like adults until the wee hours. I mean really.

As for the folks who decline invites that say "no kids"? Well, I do hope that that means more public events, office picnics, family reunions and the like, and not a good friend or family member's wedding or special party/gathering. They invited you because they wanted to see YOU and talk to YOU and have you see their special day and share in the celebrating, not have you be distracted by your kids and keeping them well-behaved or risk that kind of bad behavior. Plus it is for adults who understand what is going on and why the day is special and requires good behavior. (Not that all adults behave either, for sure!)

It is an 'each to their own' decision whether small kids should be invited to a place where they are hosting an event. Declining because you can't bring your kids to an adult event? I can't even believe it. I am sure after awhile folks with that attitude will no longer be invited places.

There are a million places you can take your kids (and I also don't just mean fast-food with toys and clowns) and there are plenty of well-behaved kids too. Also the bad parents who don't control, but still...


I would be right in line to vote for the "Ovary turn-on test" and "Joystick battery" also!
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post #57 of 128
7/7/08 at 8:29pm
Your friend is a good egg. God bless her. It is amazing that these "parents" didn't even apologize for wrecking a cake.

There are places that children shouldn't be included. That doesn't make the hosts selfish or dislike children.

Children are just that - children. They should not be expected to act like little adults.

In our family children always attend everything. We wouldn't dream of leaving someone out. I have always tried to corral my children but even the most viligent mom can have a "Marco Polo" get away from her. I attend my cousins wedding in New Orleans in 1991. My daughter was 6 months old, my sons 3 and 1/2 and 7. My 3 year old got away from my mom (she is super mom of 5 kids) and crawled under the cake table. It was swaying. Thank GOD for the cake decorator - she did a great job of supporting that cake! It could have fell over. I would have died. Devin is still a pill at 20 - he is still Marco Polo - going here and there without warning or notice.
Sugar Artist in Progress
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Sugar Artist in Progress
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post #58 of 128
7/8/08 at 9:16am
Wow what a great payback for your friend, the money and a gift card, not to mention an actual thank you. I wanted to comment on the bedtime issue i have a 20 mth old and a3.5 yr old my 20 mth old goes to bed at 7:30 and the 3.5 yr old at 8:00, this is me and my husbands quiet time, if anyone even calls that late i rush them to get to the point, and i get off the phone. This weekend my 11yr old great niece (im only 21 icon_biggrin.gif ) came over with her grandparents, when i mentioned bedtime for my kids, she said "they have a bedtime? icon_eek.gif "to which i said um yeah, theyre babies. Another quick story my friend has a daughter who made 3 in march, im sure a few of you have read post about this child, well when they had her they used to stay up all night so they let her stay up all night, now they both work during the day and have another child and they dont understand why the 3yr old wont go to bed at a reasonable hour, she was never taught a bedtime, HELLO! this kid stays up until midnight then wakes up at about 3 am and gets in bed with her parents, i dont think so!!! ANyway im a firm believer in bedtimes and routines, and you can tell by looking at my kids!
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post #59 of 128
7/8/08 at 10:16am
I respect the decision of anyone who chooses not to have children at their wedding reception. They are paying for it, it's their party. For those people who think they can't attend anything their children aren't invited to, don't attend.
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post #60 of 128
7/8/08 at 11:47am
I LOL when reading this stuff, especially the one about the kid throwing the temper tantrum in the mall would be lucky to survive...THAT is me nad my husband. LOL. We are STICKLERS for our children's out of the house behavior. I literally snap my fingers, scowl and say COME HERE and they listed...and thank god for it. My extended family is of the other mind unfortunatly. NOONE watches their kids but my sister and I. So anytime we go to any event, if our kids are there, we wnd up watching about 20 or more others (yeah, I have a HUGE family). I have never in my life felt more proud of my kids than the night my husband and I took our 2 girls and our 4 foster kids to dinner at Chili's. The ages were 14, 9,4,3,11 mo and 9 mo. We had 2 different people come over to our table while we were there to tell us how amazed they were with how well the kids behaved ect. icon_smile.gif We were beaming when we left, and every one of them got a treat for their behavior once we got home. If my kids had ever knocked down a cake, I would be mortified, and they would not be seen again for a year or so.
Your friend deserves absolute respect for her customer service skills. Its rare nowadays. Good for her.
S-34
hubby T-36
Daughter D-10
Daughter KJ-5
Foster Son G-4
Newly Adopted Son-7/11/08-C-2
Former Foster Daughter S-went home 8/9/07
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S-34
hubby T-36
Daughter D-10
Daughter KJ-5
Foster Son G-4
Newly Adopted Son-7/11/08-C-2
Former Foster Daughter S-went home 8/9/07
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