Why won't people control their kids???!??? - Page 8

I understand that and agree with you. However, I also took my then 20-month old son to my brother's wedding. I was pg with my daughter at the time, and a bridemaid in the wedding. Not having my son around was NOT an option. He did extremely well at the ceremony, stayed through dinner at the reception, and my new SIL had arranged babysitting later on in the evening. It worked out fabulously.

I agree 100% that it's all about the parenting.

I also believe that a wedding is about celebrating with family and friends. I would rather have all of them around, than exclude a portion because they have small kids.

indydebi, those are great links, thank you for providing them.

I love kids, it is just their parents I don't like! I've had my cousin's children nearly get themselves killed on a ranch where we have our yearly family reunions because their parent's are too drunk or too lazy to watch them (yelling out from half a mile away "how are my kids" doesn't count!) . I want everyone to enjoy the wedding (those who prefer to drink and those that usually get stuck watching the grandchildren!) and I love the idea of hiring a babysitter in a seperate area to take care of the kids... that way you don't offend anyone!

I'm an old lady.
Our kids are all grown up, and even now we seldom go to 'no children allowed' parties. They are usually full of 'grown-ups' drinking too much and acting like idiots.

Not to mention that we have been up since 4 am and have no intention staying past the cake cutting if it's a wedding, unless you want us sleeping on the dance floor.

If that's rude, so be it.

The only drinks that will be served at my daughters wedding will be sweet tea, unsweet tea and water. All of the above will have lots and lots of ice. Late July in East Texas needs all the cooling off it can get.

-Debbie B.

Same sort of thing here.
When the kids get married, they have at most enough champagne for a toast. None of them care much for alcohol anyway, so we usually use sparkling apple juice even for that.

ccr03 -- the no kids thing is definitely more of a family thing than a cultural one. In my family, kids are pretty much always invited to family functions. They are most of the entertainment. And yes, there are a few who are rotten, but it gives you something to talk about. Of course, in our family also if a kid is being rotten, pretty much any adult could go up to them and tell them to stop and it wouldn't be an issue.

I had a friend in university who said he had never been to a funeral. Seriously, how could you get through life never going to a funeral? My firstborn attended two funerals before he was a month old, but then the first one was for my dad, and I would probably have scratched the eyes out of the head of anyone who suggested that he couldn't attend his grandfathers funeral. Anyway, it was actually quite awkward for him because who doesn't know how to behave at a funeral?

Mrs Eason070707 -- a little kid who does not eat is not necessarily defiant. They just sometimes don't want to eat. There are days when my kids eat a total of about half a sandwich and days when they eat as much as their dad. And sometimes they just want to pick. Sit down eat a couple bites. Then half an hour later ready for a few more bites. Then an hour later ready for more. I know some people hate that and their child has to eat it all in one sitting, but it doesn't bother me and I would rather not force them to eat when they don't want to. Of course, if the child refuses to eat lunch then wants a cookie five minutes later, that is a different matter.

Hey, all:
I haven't read through the entire thread but wanted to chime in that the cake decorator is one classy lady!
I brought my 2 children to a good friend's wedding reception when they were ages 3 and 4. I did the bride's and groom's cake for cost so I especially wanted to be there as it was part of my gift to the couple.
When I couldn't control my youngest anymore I just dragged him OUT of the reception so he wouldn't disturb anyone. My daughter behaved fine so she stayed w/ my DH while I took John to a nearby playground. I remember feeling just mortified at the scene but my coworkers reassured me that I got him out before anyone was annoyed.
It annoys me, too, to see out of control kids and parents not seeming to care one whit. Same at restaurants. We just didn't go out to eat at nice restaurants until they were older. I love this sign I found on the internet. It makes me laugh evertime I read it:

Melanie Mc.

It is very sad that parents don't want the responsabilities of their kids. My two kids 18 & 16 now, are a lot older than my sisters' kids and when we got togheter one of my sisters (and her husband) actually expected my son to supervise her son because he was the oldest. I had to say NO, my son is not responsible for any kid missbehaiving, only thei parents.

About the cultural aspect: I'm mexican too and still living in Mexico. Last year we attended the wedding of one niece who is mexican-american. They live in Dallas, Tx. The groom is hindu born in USA, so the they had a methodist ceremony and a hindu ceremony at the reception and only lasted 40 min thank God,
So my niece had in her invitation no kids under 10 please. A couple months later we attended a wedding here in Mexico, and the only difference was the kids. So I guess for mexican families is hard not to invite kids to weddings. But...

I read somewhere about wedding etiquette that if the invitation is addressed to Mr. & Mrs. XXX then it is for the couple only, but here in Mexico people don't understand that, they read Mr. XXX and Family.
And some people here still have the bad habit of bringin more peolpe that the ones invited. Which leads to another....

The reception halls here in the state of Chihuahua can't take more people than their capacity by law, and they are very strict with it, some halls count 6 years olds as a guest so bringing kids only adds to the number of guests and you can run out of room.

So it's never an easy answer....

It's not just Mexico ... lots of U.S. folks (like my family!) don't get that either!

Read www.etiquettehell.com for some incredibly hilarious stories on this!

Why don't people control their kids?? Easy....it's HARD work to control kids and it's NO FUN to control kids! People don't look at the long term consequences of NOT controlling kids either.

I will never forget this. I had my kids pretty young. My older sister (now 50 with an 8 and a 5 year old) moved back home with the oldest was about 1 1/2. I offered to keep her all summer so they wouldn't be rushed to find daycare for her. I was off anyway because I teach. Anyway, the day before I was going to start watching her I get a call from my sister. She's gonna lay out the ground rules for me (keep in mind I had a 16, 12 and 9 year old at the time!) *lol* Anyway, to care for my 18 month old niece, I was told these rules:

She didn't have to nap if she chose not to.
I was not allowed to tell her NO under any circumstances.
She didn't have to eat in the high chair. I should put her food on a plate on the floor and she could "graze" whenever she felt like it.

I swear, I almost peed myself. When I stopped laughing, I told my sister that she could just find herself another sitter awfully fast because NONE of those rules would be followed in my house.

I did watch my niece, who suddenly took at 2 1/2 hour nap every afternoon, sat nicely in a high chair and sure as heck heard NO when she did something wrong!!!

My sister still tells me that she wants her children to always think of her as a friend. Sorry, when my kids were small I wasn't their friend! I was their MOM. That's what they needed!

Jodie,
My sisters SIL is the one of those. Her 3 kids have NO respect for her or her husband and walk all over them. She plays her role as concerned parent when it is convient for her to do so, then...I just found this out...she puts her 6 YEAR OLD SON to bed at 7:00 at night so she doesn't have to deal with him. Now this is after he is in daycamp till 5. She also has my sister bring him and his brother to daycamp. Now her oldest son doesn't go because he doesn't want to. Thats it. That is her reason for not making him go. Um...HELLO!!!! Who is the parent here? These kids are absolute he** for her but when I had them for this past weekend (she had a work seminar) they didn't start ANY problems with me, and they are the same for my sister. You can just tell, they respond either way to how you deal with them.
Oh, and she is so much into getting attantion for everything she actually asked me about being a foster parent when she saw everyone asking me and Hubby about it when we first got the boys. I wanted to tell her to become a parent to her own kids first...But I referred her to my worker instead. LOL.
Someday they will ALL get it. Unfortunatly for the rest of us, it won't be till their kids have grown up to be selfish empowered adults who believe the whole world owes them something and anything they want should be handed to them by a glistening skinned god/goddess who kisses their feet as they walk...I am sorry. I will stop talking about our politicians now.

Some people shouldn't be allowed to breed, but it happens every day.

I have alway taken my daughter with me where ever I go . She is my little shadow. I have always been consistant in my discipline with her. If and I mean if my daughter starts to try and act up all I have to do is bend down and whisper in her ear "Do we need to go to the bathroom and have a talk". That takes care of it. People always tell me how good my kid is.
We were over at my parents one day, she was about 3 had relatives in town, she decided that she was going to test mom and see if she could get away with being well a brat. I yanked her little bottom up took her to the bathroom and proceeded to have what I call my talk with her. When we came out of the bathroom she was a different child. My aunt asked me what I had said to her because it worked. My daughter is 7 now and still remembers that talk.

It helps to bring a couple of your childs "quite" toys along with you, plus go out and get them a new coloring book of some other small toy to take along it keeps them busy longer since it's new to them. Give it to them right before you walk into the event.

I understand some kids are overly active, BUT if you know your child is like that and you want to have fun and enjoy yourself GET A SITTER! I think that was awesome how your friend handled it. I feel bad the bride had shed tears on her wedding day.

Stupid kids have stupid parents..kids learn what they live

Your friend was a class act.. those parents were not.. probably a bunch of white trailer trash..who only went there for free boooozzz and food. How uncivilized and uncultured .. my comment is referring to the subject of this thread and NOT to anyone else .

The church where we married is literally a cathedral - very large, VERY formal and proper ("stuffy" is probably more accurate), and with pitch-perfect acoustics. Someone sniffs, and the entire room hears it, loud and clear. Our marriage ceremony would last 45 minutes to an hour.

We "properly" addressed our invites to "Mr. and Mrs. XXX". An old college friend, who was out-of-state, was to be our scripture reader. Her son was deep in the throes of the terrible 2's. I asked several times, months in advance, if she was bringing her son, and explained I would arrange the church's nursery & an additional sitter (a college student I had known for years) for the adult-oriented (dancing and alcohol) reception. She repeatedly said no. So we cancel the church nursery and the college student, and lo and behold, 10 days before the wedding, old college friend leaves a message, asking if she can bring her son.

It was too late to reschedule nursery/sitter. As I was too upset/angry to call her, I wrote a letter saying no, explaining my reasons as politely and diplomatically as I could. Three days before the wedding, she calls me to say she can't make it. That was in 1995, and we haven't spoken since.

Sorry for the long-winded post, but I really felt "put on the spot" about the whole situation. I think I'll go eat some chocolate now.