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how much did they save? (venting) - Page 2

post #16 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by jessieb578

I absolutely agree with bonjovibabe!! Seriously....what are people thinking when they take advantage of people??? I would forget the gift and put in the card "hope you love your favors - Congratulations" and call it a day!



This is exactly what I would do. I used to feel an obligation to take a separate gift if I was providing someones child's b-day cake or a wedding cake/favors, etc., but I finally learned to "mention" how happy (cough, cough) I was to do it in a really super nice card.
Chicken noodle soup, chicken noodle soup, chicken noodle soup with a soda on the side!!!
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Chicken noodle soup, chicken noodle soup, chicken noodle soup with a soda on the side!!!
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post #17 of 46
icon_eek.gif 315 beautifullly decorated and packaged cookies for $50? I think that was VERY generous of you. I am sorry you felt you had to do it out of guilt. Typically I find that the people who try to guilt me into doing something for them are the ones who would tell me to go to he** if I asked of them what they asked of me. There always seems to be a double standard. So, I am learning to require what I deserve from people. That does not mean I won't do things for others out of simple kindness and generosity. But, I no longer do things out of guilt. I end up feeling like crap and the recipient never gives a second thought to their audacity or my feeling awful. I do not say any of this to make you feel badly or second guess yourself.

I would have probably made the cookies...since it was family. And, I might have even done them for $50. However, I would NOT give the bride and groom an additional gift. Even if you were ULTRA CHEAP and charged only $1 a cookie, you gifted $315-$50= $265!!! That is a very generous wedding gift.

I hope you make a decision that you are happy with. And, I hope if you opt to not give an additional gift and anyone tries to make you feel badly about it, you explain the cost, process and time it takes to make such beautiful wedding favors. Good luck to you.
post #18 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by micnmax2003

There will be presentation at the reception and my husband & I disagree about what amount to give (if anything).



presentation? Meaning gifts will actually be presented to the bride and groom during the reception?

If that's the case, then that's odd to me, never seen that done. But I would do what a previous poster said. Make up a nice certificate about the cookies and give that. Don't give them anymore $$$ afteryou did all those cookies for them!

And they should have brought the supplies to you to package them if they thought you were gonna do it in teh first place adn still brought them too you after you agreed.
Andi
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Andi
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post #19 of 46
I agree with the card and simple statment idea! I would have charged $5 per cookie which totals $1575. If your hubby doesn't value your time and efforts...time to set that man down and have a talk! icon_twisted.gif
"If you don't know where you are going.....how are you going to get there?"
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"If you don't know where you are going.....how are you going to get there?"
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post #20 of 46
Just to clarify...did you agree to do the cookies gratuit and your aunt pay for the materials? Or did she agree to pay for the cookies and material? If you don't give a gift it might cause a huge rift between the families and you have to be prepared for that.

My best friend asked me to do my god daughter's "First Communion" cake because it would be so special coming from me as I was one of her godmothers. (Haven't uploaded the pics yet). And that it would be great practice for me as I had just finished a few decorating classes. It was hard to say no to that even though I was stressed because I had just done my son's birthday and was set to do my daughter's birthday. Because I had agreed to do it "gratuit" we still gave my goddaughter a very generous gift. Let me tell you...they were on a major budget because they even had cut down the grandmother's wedding to make my goddaughter's communion dress. They basically did not want to pay for a cake.

All my friends have started to pay for my items..which my best friend found out and thought was great...however, she has not been ordering anything from me and there have been quite a few occasions...I guess it's not so special coming from me when you have to pay icon_lol.gif
post #21 of 46
I agree with letting them be your gift. Whenever I'm asked to make cookies, or I volunteer to make them I always say at the time that they will be my gift. That way there are no misunderstandings. They know that for the most part they are getting one of a kind designs, and I get to be creative. Most of the time the end result is worth more in $$ than they would get in a gift from me.
post #22 of 46
We are our own worst enemies. We should learn to use excuses or say NO. I am an asian Indian and a great cook. I can cook so many authentic dishes that even my mom's generation people cannot. My mom is a great cook too. My husband's side of the family have used me so many times. Can't say no because they are in-law's side (typical indian if you know what I mean). But after doing it for 9 years, I have learnt to say NO. I just say I have too much on my plate right now. Coming to the point, if I were you, I would just go to the party/wedding and say nicely how did you like my gift of cookies or something in that line. Make sure you tell couple of people that your gift was making those cookies. (I know I sound like a mean woman, but that's what 9 years have made me in situations like this)

Enjoy the party and walk out. Remember to say NO next time.

Good luck,
Champa.
You can download the cupcake recipes from
http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dtxcrsv_94f2877ghh
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Champa.
You can download the cupcake recipes from
http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dtxcrsv_94f2877ghh
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post #23 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by thems_my_kids

Quote:
Originally Posted by micnmax2003

There will be presentation at the reception and my husband & I disagree about what amount to give (if anything).



presentation? Meaning gifts will actually be presented to the bride and groom during the reception?

If that's the case, then that's odd to me, never seen that done. But I would do what a previous poster said. Make up a nice certificate about the cookies and give that. Don't give them anymore $$$ afteryou did all those cookies for them!



Hmmm interesting point... I lived in Winnipeg for a summer its also acceptable to hold a social (big dance) and charge people to come in as a fundraiser for your wedding. Now of course not everyone does that, but this would be new to me.

I will be doing two family weddings this year - I am donating my time because I offered and taking the ingredients off what I would have given them as a gift. I love my family and would like to help them out as much as possible - if I ever started to feel used all bets are off.

You had better be expecting a nice thank you. That would be the last straw to me... my dad's cousin (really like an aunt) agreed to do a few alterations to my dress, make the sash etc. and wouldnt take any money from me. You bet she got a nice gift certificate from me - she spent hours going over my dress making sure everything was perfect with the lace and embroidery.
"It is hearsay upon hearsay, and I do not chose to rest my belief upon such evidence" - Thomas Paine
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"It is hearsay upon hearsay, and I do not chose to rest my belief upon such evidence" - Thomas Paine
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post #24 of 46
Everyone is right. I'm not an expert or professional cake decorator, but I am broke and don't do too bad a job, so if someone's getting married/having a baby shower/birthday I make a cake or cookies for them and that's my gift.

When I did a shower cake for my cousin, my Aunt asked how much for the cake. I said the cake would be my gift. I got a lovely thank you note for the cake. That's how it should be.

I did run into a situation once with a different cousin, though. I volunteered to do her wedding cake because she "was on a tight budget" (read:broke.) I then heard her step-mom wanted to pay for a cake. Fine, no biggie to me. TWO DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING: I got a call from the bride asking if I was still doing the cake! She thought her mom called me, her mom thought she called me! So, being a sucker and not wanting her big day to go over without a cake, I did it. It wasn't great, but it was free and there. I still haven't even gotten a thank you note.
Be mischievous and you will not be lonesome.
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Be mischievous and you will not be lonesome.
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post #25 of 46
wow, this site sells them for $4.00 each in the bags and with a tag.

http://www.dianescakesandmore.com/monogram-cookies-cakes.html

That would be $1260.00 I'd say that is a gift if I ever saw one. Don't forget about S&H too. You are very generous.
post #26 of 46
" Congratulations on your marriage. May the two of you be forever happy! DH and I hope you enjoy the cookies I worked so hard to make for your special day! Best Wishes.."

I have family like that too. You'll swim the Nile for them, but they won't jump a puddle for you! Enjoy your new baby and stop feeling guilty! Be confident that you did them a HUGE favor! thumbs_up.gif
post #27 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by sugardaze

Just to clarify...did you agree to do the cookies gratuit and your aunt pay for the materials? Or did she agree to pay for the cookies and material? If you don't give a gift it might cause a huge rift between the families and you have to be prepared for that.



Doesn't matter. Time is more of a gift than any monetary one. If family can't appreciate that, then they aren't much of a family. If they decide to make a big deal out of it, I would calmly tell them your going rate/cookie is $xx which totaled to $xx. If that doesn't shut them up, then shame on them.

Besides, why do people expect gifts anymore and why put a price on how much to spend? If somebody is kind enough to spend $10 on me, I'm more than thankful. Personally, I would never expect anyone to spend $75 on my wedding gift.

If you still feel horrible about not going with a gift, buy some pretty notecards with a pretty recipe box (no more than $10) and write some random sugar cookie recipe (hinting that it's their wedding cookie recipe).
post #28 of 46
Print out this thread, and give that to them.

Mike
post #29 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by sugardaze

...I guess it's not so special coming from me when you have to pay icon_lol.gif



HA! Gotta love family!

Don't feel guilty ... remember that you're on maternity leave for a reason, and it's not to slave over doing chores for other people! Favor or not, materials supplied or not, they got a GREAT deal! You helped make their day extra special. Don't let anyone treat you like you had nothing better to do with your time! When I was 9 mo. pregnant, there was nothing better to do with my time than sit, prop my feet up and drink plenty of water (I can't even imagin the back pain doing all those cookies, plus being pregnant!) ... after the baby was born it was spending as much time with the new bundle of joy that I could and napping as much as I could while still getting my other household chores done. I wasn't waking up every two hours through the night to work on cookies, that's for sure!
post #30 of 46
I agree with everyone here. the cookies are your gift.
you can look up any number of cookie websites (e.g. cookiesbydesign) and see how much those cookies are worth, and it's probably more than you were going to give them in cash, I'd bet.

plus another way to look at it (all though a stinky bride might not see it this way) is your time is SO much more valuable and thoughtful than cash. she should be so honored that you would do this instead of cold cash. (again, not everyone is able to see it this way, but that's how I see it icon_wink.gif )
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'Why sleep when you can bake!'
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