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how much did they save? (venting)

post #1 of 46
6/5/08 at 10:21am
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I was asked to do cookie favors for my cousin's upcoming wedding & although I had some reservations I agreed, b/c it was family. Guilt was a factor as well, since I am home on mat. leave and I had "time". They requested a simple wedding cake cookie w/ monogramming. After doing some research here & with the help/suggestions of CC members..I made 315 NFSC w/ MMF using RI for the monograms and gold periles(?) for decoration . When I informed my aunt/cousin that the cookies were ready to be p/u for packaging (thinking that I had fulfilled my commitment) I was told that they thought that I would be doing them??! Then I got another sob story about how no one really had time to do them (she has 8 freakin bridesmaids!!) so, again out of quilt, I asked when they could get me the materials to do so and was told that I could p/u them whenever I needed them (I live 1/2 hr outside of the city). I make a trip to the city to p/u the bags & ribbon ("oh, could you also attach these little tags? It's not that hard to put cookies in bags w/ ribbon anyways." is what I'm told). Here's the dilemma: all the cookies are done (packaged w/ ribbon & tag) to be p/u today and I feel that I've been used (not to mention that my husband and I are odds b/c of situation) My aunt paid for all the ingredients ($50 to be exact, so maybe not all the ingredients) & and packaging. There will be presentation at the reception and my husband & I disagree about what amount to give (if anything). I would like to get an idea of how much $$ they save b/c I did the cookies (you can find pic in my profile b/c I don't understand how to resize it to post here)? Any thoughts would be appreciated icon_confused.gif BTW I have already given a wedding/shower gift & attended their wedding social (basically a party to fundraise for the wedding) as well as agreeing to my 5 yr old to be the ring bearer ($75 tux rental). My cousin just called me asking if instead of p/u the cookies today could I bring them to her tomorrow...to which I replied that I am very, very exhausted and would like to spend time w/ my boys b/c I've been preoccupied lately w/ her cookies; she's on her way.
Marisa
"Someday everything will all make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason."
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Marisa
"Someday everything will all make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason."
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post #2 of 46
6/5/08 at 10:31am
I charge a MINIMUM of $2.75 for decorated cookies - so I would have charged her $850+ for those suckers!!! IMO, you don't owe her a gift as well - that was extremely generous of you to do this for free in the first place!!! I hate people who take advantage of others kindness.......grrrrrrrrrr!
AKA: bonjovibabe
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AKA: bonjovibabe
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post #3 of 46
6/5/08 at 10:32am
I would say somewhere between $3-$5 a cookie. You did a nice job and were very kind to go out of your way to do them. I hope you can get things smoothed over with your hubby soon, I know how that goes. icon_wink.gif

HTH! icon_smile.gif
The older I get the smarter my mother gets!
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The older I get the smarter my mother gets!
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post #4 of 46
6/5/08 at 10:33am
I absolutely agree with bonjovibabe!! Seriously....what are people thinking when they take advantage of people??? I would forget the gift and put in the card "hope you love your favors - Congratulations" and call it a day!
If it's such a piece of cake, how come it's not easy???
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If it's such a piece of cake, how come it's not easy???
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post #5 of 46
6/5/08 at 10:34am
wait,
you telling me they expect money on top of all your time, energy, electric bill and gas consumption??
their out of their minds.

If I were you, I would take a nice sheet of paper, draw up a nice certificate in photoshop or corel, and create a certificate listing all the money value of the time and effort that you put into their cookies,
stick it in an envelope and hand it to them at the ceremony.
For in the end we will protect only what we love, love only what we understand, and understand only what we are taught.
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For in the end we will protect only what we love, love only what we understand, and understand only what we are taught.
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post #6 of 46
6/5/08 at 10:35am
Sorry for your experience hon, but just what kind of hold do these people have over you to make you feel so generously guilty especially with a new baby and all - Egads they should be coming to your house and helping with the little bundle!

Hmmmmmmm I gotta say people need to learn to say NO - it is the most powerful two letter word in the English dictionary and women don't seem to know about it.
Award winning cake designer and fine art sculptor.

"An artist discovers his genius the day he dares not to please." ~Andre Malraux
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Award winning cake designer and fine art sculptor.

"An artist discovers his genius the day he dares not to please." ~Andre Malraux
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post #7 of 46
6/5/08 at 10:38am
I made 150 mmf covered Valentine cookies to help for a school fundraiser. They could only afford to pay me 1.00 per cookie. It took myself and my sister two days to make these and we did'nt even have to do the bagging! It's a ton of work!!! You outdid yourself with your gift of time! No more required!!! icon_surprised.gifjudge.gif
...talk about your childhood wishes, you can even eat the dishes!
"Come inside", said the bird to the mouse. I'll show you what there is in a treathouse.
(licensed and inspected home kitchen)
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...talk about your childhood wishes, you can even eat the dishes!
"Come inside", said the bird to the mouse. I'll show you what there is in a treathouse.
(licensed and inspected home kitchen)
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post #8 of 46
6/5/08 at 10:38am
I charge next to nothing for cookies...seriously!! I'm so cheap!!! You said you made 315 of those??? I would have charge (guessing that they are about a 4" cookie) $1.50 each plus bags $1.75 each so for that amount it would be $551.25 and believe me I KNOW that's cheap...they got a SERIOUS deal!!!
God's Word will either keep you from sin;
or sin will keep you from God's Word.
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God's Word will either keep you from sin;
or sin will keep you from God's Word.
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post #9 of 46
6/5/08 at 10:39am
I would give them a nice card and write something along the lines of "We were so happy to be a part of your special day. I hope you and the rest of the guests enjoyed the wedding cookie favors. Congratulations! Love, XXX" and leave it at that. After all of your time and effort, you shouldn't get them a gift on top of it!
** Office Drone by Day - Secret Baker by Night **
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** Office Drone by Day - Secret Baker by Night **
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post #10 of 46
6/5/08 at 10:39am
I'm not sure what the dimensions of your cookies are, but I would have charged $2.50 each for them for a total of $787.50.

I don't think you should ever feel guilty for being on maternity leave...you have the least time (and sleep) of anyone!
You can take the girl out of Minnesota, but you can't take Minnesota out of the girl!
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You can take the girl out of Minnesota, but you can't take Minnesota out of the girl!
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post #11 of 46
6/5/08 at 10:41am
You saved them a PILE. Even if you estimated $2 per cookie which is very reasonable then that would be $630. Minus even $80 for the supplies and you gave them a $500 plus wedding gift.

I would write a nice card out saying something very sweet about how much you 'enjoyed being able to contribute to their wedding day'. And maybe a small gift like a picture frame or something. I'm have done a few wedding cakes in lieu of a gift before and given just a small fun gift. Since they are totally unappreciative of all your hard work I would be tempted to do nothing else. I might even wait to see if you get a thank you at the reception - HIGHLY DUE! She has 8 bridesmaids and they cant lift a finger? BS. That stuff takes a long time especially for just one person.

I would love to write out a bill and say PAID - but I think its a little tacky to list the cost of your gift.
"It is hearsay upon hearsay, and I do not chose to rest my belief upon such evidence" - Thomas Paine
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"It is hearsay upon hearsay, and I do not chose to rest my belief upon such evidence" - Thomas Paine
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post #12 of 46
6/5/08 at 10:41am
What's the going rate for a wedding gift? $75-$200 more or less? Depending on the type of wedding and how close you are to the couple.
Now, let's just say they found a place that charged .50 cents per cookie (yeah, right!!). They still would have paid over $150 for 315 cookies. Since they only paid you $50 for materials, that means that you saved them $100...and that's a pretty decent wedding gift. Maybe not a Waterford Crystal gravy boat, but something decent nonetheless. icon_wink.gif
The real cost of the cookies is undoubtably much, much more. I am certain you saved them hundreds. IMO you don't owe them a darn thing!!
Good luck!! thumbs_up.gif
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post #13 of 46
6/5/08 at 10:42am
Yes.. I would have said I made the cookies.. you bag up the little f'ers. I would have charged the $5 per cookie.. That woul dhave been over $1500.. and that's not packaged.. if they wanted that I would have added another $1 per cookie (assuming I used my own supplies) so you saved them a buttload of money. I would hand them a card at the presentation and an invoice for the full amount with your MORE than generous discount. Jeeze Louise!!! And I agree with Shirl.. look in the mirros and practice the word NO. With a new baby the last thing you needed to be doing was making 300+ cookies. ((hugs))
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post #14 of 46
6/5/08 at 10:42am
Sounds like $945 ( $3 per cookie, bagged, tagged and tied with curling ribbon, which if I'm correct does'nt curl its self) worth of cookies is a darn good gift!
Not to mention the time it took you to make those, and we all know how much free time you have with a new born baby in the house.
It does sound like you got taken advantage of a little, am I right to assume 315 cookies means 300 something guests?
If you invite that many people then you should make sure you have the resources to supply all of them with favors, or skip the favors. But yet people are always planning weddings they can't afford and then suckering family into freebies.
So to make a long story short, you already gave a gift...315 cookies, and if they are'nt happy with it then take back all the cookies from the guest and give them a blender.
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post #15 of 46
6/5/08 at 10:46am
You already feel used, why would you add to your own pain?

While you were cooking and wrapping for her, she was probably at work making money (mat. leave or not, your time is ... YOURS)

And what exactly did the bridesmaid do for her? Nothing?
so they are more important to her than you are but you should do the work?

Figure out how much you would have given her as a wedding gift then take that money and spend it on yourself! icon_smile.gif
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