Ignored! it that's what I would say I know it's not easy, but I have learned the hard way that basically that's all you can do, because if you let it get to you it would be only hurting you and no one else, and trust me ]it's just not worth it!!!keep your chin up and your good work.

Retain your dignity and don't take anything.

naaaah, I'll do it. I'm a pro at up-slapping.

I can't believe anyone would treat their spouse like this. A husband or wife is supposed to be one's greatest support (I know mine is).

It's kind of a relief to know that my family is not the only one!!!, sad, yes but not alone. I'll tell you I'm so used to it now that I don't really care where they get their cakes now, but when people at the party ask me if I made the cake I just say: "not today, (and trying to be funny) not everybody can afford my work!" and they know it's true.

I just don't get it! Why would anyone want a cake that's been frozen and came from who know's what kind of kitchen. The warehouse those cakes come from are probably crawling with cockaroaches & mice.

My brother would NEVER ask me for a cake and always insisted in getting them at Sam's Club. It annoyed me no end, until my Dad told me that Bro wasn't asking because he knew I would insist on making it a freebie and he didn't want to take advantage of me.

My birthday is Thursday. I have the best of best best friends (was that too many best?). She came in from DC today (I'm in Pittsburgh) and brought me a full size fridge for my cake stuff and a wonderful basket of Italian items. DH got me a tool belt - I built my own kitchen, looks nice if I may say so myself. I am so blessed!

Amy - did you take anything? I personally liked the CC bouquet idea. Just my two cents.

OK everyone! I made a small cookie bouquet and that's it. Just two large cookies. I also asked my mil if they needed any food so she said i could bring a casserole cause it's a potluck so i did that. the cookie bouquet is in my pics. haven't left yet, i'll let ya'll know tonight how it goes.

My birthday is Thursday. I have the best of best best friends (was that too many best?). She came in from DC today (I'm in Pittsburgh) and brought me a full size fridge for my cake stuff and a wonderful basket of Italian items. DH got me a tool belt - I built my own kitchen, looks nice if I may say so myself. I am so blessed!

Amy - did you take anything? I personally liked the CC bouquet idea. Just my two cents.

I am with all the others family are the biggest pain in the a** customers, it is really better not to have to do the cake, because god forbid in some crazy event they don't like (which anything would be an improvement over the sped walmart cake) then you would never hear the end of that....! I try not to make for family or close friends...complicates things I know I also have had the comment made to me...oh I didn't want to bother you, or take you away from other customers...whatever everyone knows that I don't eat store bought cake...and if I had a nickle for every event that I was at that didn't get my cake, and then got the comment, oh wish I would have you do it...I would be as rich as Donald Trump!!!!!
Nothing is better than having the smell of icing on you, and having people gobble your stuff down, and leave the Walmart cake behind...will serve her right. Good Luck!

amy, I love the cookie boquet. I think that was a great way to deal with it.

I'm going to add my 2cents.
last year I made a cake for my sister's daughter. this year I asked her if whe wanted me to make one, and she said no (she said her kids don't really like cake, well she said that last year and they ate seconds of mine ) so initially I was put off, but I just let it go. I know that she didn't want to bug me because she knows how busy I've been.

also, I thought about it... when I bring a cake or something people tend to 'ooh and ahh' (quite nice for me ) but it's really about her and her daughter and my cake would steal some of her thunder. no problem.
she made a very homemade box cake which I enjoyed

Amy your cookie bouquet is so cute!! I really like that idea, too, when a cranky person is pissy about a cake. Don't forget to bring her a jug of milk! (Not for dumping over her head, altho that would be funny! )

Yikes, there are some serious pieces of work out there! Makes me grateful for my cake loving family, they happily eat everything I throw their way.

I know that not everyone "gets" caking and what goes into it, but for all of you who have told their stories, I keep looking at your photos and see these awesome cakes, I'm thinking your family must be blind?

What my ever advancing age is teaching me is to not take so many things personally. I'm learning to not assume the worst in every situation and to give the benefit of the doubt whenever possible. What that effectively does is makes me happier and less stressed and it gives the meanies in this world fewer victories.

There are a whole lot of people out there who just don't like cake. Might they like yours? Maybe so. But maybe not enough to remember that they liked it. There are lots of non-sweet eaters too. When I think of my extended family, I can't think of one person, if asked what their favorite dessert would be, would actually respond "cake". To each his own, you know? Pie eaters, cookie fanatics, ice cream aficionados. It is nothing personal.

Other people are just easily offended. If you (that is a generic "you", not any particular person) have ever commented about how much work your cake was, you could go down in their book as someone who is a martyr or someone who is looking for attention. Or they might feel threatened or inadequate because they aren't creative and don't have a tangible skill like that. Some people are not capable of seeing things anyway except from their very limited perspective. Just because they choose to be easily offended doesn't mean that you need to.

Our reactions are largely our choices. If a reaction is automatic, you can usually train yourself to react otherwise. I try really hard to look at cakes or anything else like that as giving something for someone else's enjoyment, to be an expression of my love for them. I'm a mom, so I'm well aware that usually, people don't notice how hard you work to make things nice or to try to express your affection. If the way I want to communicate my love does not carry that meaning for the person, then I probably need to look for a different means to express it.

Cakes take me forever. I mean ridiculously forever. I can spend a couple of weeks working on a simple cake. I'm sure the recipients think it only took me a couple of hours. I'm making the cake to express my love, but I'm also doing it because I love it and I want the practice! It is my choice, you know? But I'm also a believer in the concept of love languages. We don't all appreciate the same things and that is okay.

It's just not always personal. And even if it is, it is their problem for deciding to be that way...most of the time.

Don't sweat it, you know?

I went to the party with my little casserole and cookie bouquet. The cake was not from walmart. It was from a local bakery that an acquaintance of mine owns.(the woman asked me to work for her when i moved back from culinary school!) anyway, he had them use petite for glaze instead of buttercream for the entire sheet cake. Some people might like it, but this crowd didn't. Not one single person ate their whole piece and there were fifty something people there. I was asked repeatedly if I made the cake to which i replied with a no and a smile. One aunt asked me after she tasted hers, and after she found out I wasn't asked said "serves them right". grandma loved her cookie bouquet!!

. . . perfect . . . that's all I can say . . . simply perfect . . .

I agree with the aunt..."Serves them right"

I started reading this thread yesterday, had to leave so finishing it now.

So many horror stories...so little time!

CarolynGwen, as I was baking yesterday I kept thinking about your MIL. This is one evil woman to say that directly to your DH (and he is an absolute Dear and Darling man to stick up for you). I hope that you keep setting out nice plates of store-bought cookies, and if she asks about baking again..sweetly reply: "I didn't think it mattered - it's just cookies".

I'm posting however, because I have the opposite! I have the dearest, sweetest, family-in-law that anyone could hope for. They are kind, supportive and non-judgemental in every way. I worked yesterday on my nephew's graduation party, and I was very embarassed that the cake tiers didn't sit right. This kind group actually applauded when I put the top on. When I tried to fix it a little - they all said not to worry, it was fine. When they say "it's just cake", they mean it in a good way...they want me to relax.

So everyone with nasty relatives, I'll hug mine, and send some of their (((hugs))) over to you.

I think she got more than enough with your bouquet, your work on those cookies is great. Way to go!

Wow and double wow. I love your cookie bouquet. Even if it is 2 cookies it is still wow. I think it's lovely to bring something even if the person isn't so nice and your present was a great compromise of your dignity.
Greatttttt job.

Leigh

I wish I would have seen this sooner.

When this happened to me, I responded by not eating any of the cake. When asked if I wanted a piece, I said, "No, thanks. I don't eat other people's cake because I don't know what went into it."

It worked. Now those same relatives ask me first. And of course, I tell them, "No, thanks. I do not have the time to do that cake for you."

Theresa

My in-laws actually idolize me for my baking skills, which are far from good. I have brought cakes taht I thought were outright ugly, and my MIL brought out the camera, as if I didn't take a pic yet (everyone will be sitting and waiting to eat, and she's looking for her camera, with me running after her telling her that I took a pic already).

My mom used to criticize my work alot, telling me that this or that has to be changed if I ever want to sell my creations. She didn't do it in a very nasty way, just a little, but she is in general a very critical person. But lately, everything I make is gorgeous for her. Whenever she needs cake, cookies, etc she calls me first, but she tells me what she wants, even if it's for free. But I tell her that it may not be exactly what she asked for - that's why I don't do this as a business cause I want to be able to do what I want.