OK, I will try to make this short. I am new to decorating and looking for any excuse to make a cake. My mother is VERY judgemental and always has something negative to say. Sad but true. Anyway I finally decided to make 2 cakes for our family Christmas dinner and let her see them. She had a few neg comments off the bat but i brushed them off knowing that is just "her". Well tomorrow is my dad's birthday and we are having another family dinner, ugh. I got an e-mail from her actually saying "oh Sue don't bother to make a birthday cake for dad, it is so much work for you, I will just go to the bakery and pick one up." Hello???? Insult, she just didn't like my Christmas cake and didn't want another one to "spoil" her dinner party. I am really insulted! I know I am far from good but I am just beginning, you would think she would let me "practice" on them and not care. She is so judgemental and it really gets to me. I spoke to my dad before who is such a kind soul and he said "so do you have a cool cake made for me?" I had to tell him I was told not to bring one.

Am I being too sensative? If you knew my mom I think you'd say NO.

Ok.....just checked out your pics......is mom jealous? Your work is outstanding for a beginner!!! Do NOT cause a fight, let your mom buy a bakery cake. However how special it would be to make you sweet dad one anyway...maybe a personalized sized cake say..6 inch or 4 inch. Decorate it with your love , put it in a box and give it to him as a gift!

He would love it and mom has NO reason to be angry. Ha!

I am so sorry your mom is like that. I think your cakes are lovely & of course I would eat dirt & tell my kids it was great, just because I would never want to hurt their feelings. Please don't be too sad.

June

I know exactly what you're going through. My mother is the same way. I baked a cake for Christmas and brought it for dessert and my mother's comment was "well I prefer icing that isn't so rich." Thing is, I made the icing with evaporated milk to give it a light, whipped texture so it wasn't so heavy. She always has something negative to say, just like your mother. If you ask me, who cares if the decorating is perfect, as long as it tastes good!?! Especially if it is a practice cake...

I think you should bake a small, sample size cake for your dad. Tell him you want him to have a homemade cake and thank him for letting you practice on him. It may make waves with your mom, but snub her right back and let her know those grocery store cakes don't compare to homemade. (Granted, some of them do, but they are a rare find)

Good luck and I feel your pain sweetie!

Thats so sad. Id say, he's your dad, you make a cake for him if you want. My parents aren't here anymore and i wish i could make them just one more cake. I cant believe a mum could be so negative towards her own daughter, its making me look at myself, i hope im not like that with my kids. Enjoy your baking and creativity and use it to make everyone and anyone smile.

SueW:
Think about if your Dad wasn't here anymore, and is it worth not having the memory?
I agree with the others, make him a small personal cake from you to him and take a mental picture of his face when he sees it!!

Sue I think we had the same mother. i SOOO know what you are saying. my only advice is to blow her off, because it really is HER issue and has noth9ng to do with your cakes. HUGS

Hi there


how can see the cake you talking about
l'm new here

I think you should make the cake for your Dad..it is his birthday and I bet anything in the world, he would love one from you...a cake from you would make his birthday special
The cake is for him...not your Mom...

Good luck
Jane

I was listening to a man speak tonight on this exact subject. He said that jealousy and envy happens most often within a family unit and is most common between siblings and between parent to children.

He said that chronic envy that goes unchecked turns into a hate so that no matter what the subject does, it could not eliviate the jealousy that the other person feels.

We all have these people that no matter what we do they are not happy--if you are a praying kinds gal--pray for your mother because it must be a horrible way to live.

Other than that--find your happiness and make your dad a cake. When she says something (and you know she will) just say "Oh mom, I knew you would say that--you always do--and laugh, Ignore your mother. She can ignore her own misery as long as it is directed at other people, but when everyone else around her is going happily on with their lives it places more focus on her and it becomes uncomfortable.

IMHO--sorry if I stepped on toes.

hey I just had that happen to me I made 3 cakes one of them a 10" basketweave cake for the teachers and my own best friend told me this lady a mom told her my cakes were as hard as f...... rocks, it hurt more the fact that my own friend shared that unnecessary piece of information that I could have done without. I donated three cakes and truly made them with love and she knew that and she had go and break my spirits and all I could think of was is that that lady only says that cause she's jealous because she can't even pipe a star which is true she buys her baked goods anyways don't let her get you down keep making your cakes for your own benefits not for what jealous people think of them. I think even some of the very experienced cake decorators have been in this same dilema your Christmas basketweave cake is great very nice I love basketweave and your tree adorable I want to try something like this next Christmas

I agree with the others - let your mum buy the grocery store cake and make a special small cake for your dad as a gift from you. It is not worth getting yourself down and letting your dad see that it is getting your down.

lovethecake - go the SueW post and click on the button that says photos. You can see all the photos that she has uploaded.

MAKE DAD THE CAKE!!! A little one~ and he'll love it and you'll love that he loves it. When it's your mom's birthday....go to the local bakery and buy her a cake. (pardon my spite~~~). Your cakes are very nice!

I agree. Make Dad a cake. He'll love it. Sounds like others in the family don't have a bad thing to say either (since you didn't mention others with negative comments). Mom's feelings are her own to own....not yours.....her problems shouldn't become yours. It's not like you are painting the livingroom a color she doesn't want....you are just making your dad a cake. She doesn't have to look at it or eat it if she doesn't want to...but it will certainly be more heartfelt than a "walk into a bakery and pick one out" cake. She's going to make a bitter, lonely old lady if she doesn't lighten up soon.

Sue, i am sorry you mother is like this, but please dont listen to her... your cake's a fantastic...

i agree with others when they say to make your dad a special cake....(its a shame you can't try the purse cake....lol)...

its such a shame when your own mother is jealous of your talents.... and has to be spiteful about it...

kylie

Why not just e-mail your mom back and say it's not a problem, and you will make the cake a. because you want to and b. because your dad asked for one. The next time you get a negative comment I would talk back... nothing rude, but saracasm does wonders. I'm sure either way, your dad will love a cake.

Sue,

I wouldn't worry too much about the critisism. Everyone is entitled to their own opion. It's just that your mom's opinion on your cakes are wrong. You do beautiful work. And you should make your Dad a cake. Put all the love in it that you can. That way your mom can eat her heart out.

lovethecake
First of all Welcome to new found addiction. This is the best place to be for anything you need. Grab a cup of coffee,cocoa,soda, vodka, whatever you drink and enjoy. Just make sure that you have a comfy chair. Next in order to see the pictures you click on the persons photo box underneath what they have written.

Ann

I have to add this even though it has already been said over and over--BAKE DAD THE CAKE. I am thinking he would be a bit hurt if you DIDN'T make him his cake. My dad, as well as everyone's, would be thrilled if I showed up with a cake for him. He is 2 hours away and now I am thinking I should bake a cake and bring it to him this weekend.

You cakes are great but I REALLY love your cookies. The Christmas ones are so cute.

NOW GO START PLANNING HIS CAKE AND WISH HIM A HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM ALL OF US(WHO LOVE YOUR WORK).

THAT'S AN ORDER

Your cakes are beautiful, I especially like the basketweave Christmas cake. Lovely.

Sue,
First off your cakes are WONDERFUL!!! Don't let anyone dampen your spirit to decorate!! Make Dad the cake and enjoy every bit of happiness it brings to him to recieve a cake from his daughter!!! My mother is the same and I look over her comments as much as possible but sometimes I have to take a stand!!

I live 300 miles from both my family and my husbands family and would give anything to be able to give "special" cakes to my Dad sometimes and can't! So bake all you want and enjoy it!!

Can't wait to see the cake!!

luvincake Ann
thanks so much

Sounds like your mom could not be happy with anything, because I'm sure that your cakes are far better than any cake a bakery could produce. Give your dad a cake; he wants it.

Take it. Have them taste both. Show the bakery and your mom up. Take vengeance. And destroy! MWAHAHAHA!

Your cakes and cookies are fabulous, all us girls here at CC know about cakes, so listen to us not your Mum!

Bake your Dad the cake, it will be beautiful and he will love it!

Im sorry your Mum is like that.

I think parents feel that it is their place to criticise and think that they're being helpful. Maybe your Mum really was trying to let you off doing all the work for the cake and didn't even think you'd like to do it?

your mom sounds a lot like my grandmother. Ignore what she says. I have a feeling your dad would appreciate a cake made by you instead.

SueW

I am confused, is your mom saying that your cake was nasty? I just looked at your cakes and they look great! I didn't read through the post yet, I read your vent and immediately replied. What did the rest of your family and friends say? Your dad asked what you were making for him, that's what's most important and if the cake was delicious then we know what we need to know. If your dd is looking forward to you making his bday cake, then forget mom (no disrespect) it's dd's day! Don't make her one for her birthday.

Well...it was your MOTHER talking not your dad..I'm sure that if you went straight to the HORSES' MOUTH...he'd tell you to go ahead and bake him the cake..

SO...don't listen to the horses other end..lol

First, poor dad for having mom to put up with (sorry) and poor u. BUT....kill with kindness!!!! Bake your dad the cake, I lost my dad and I miss him greatly....do all you can for him to make him happy.

Kill mom with kindness...be sweet, that is the best and gives you and dad the upper hand. I havent seen your cakes, BUT....if it makes him happy and you, thats all that counts. Even if it was "ugly", HE LOVED IT...and thats all that matters. HE LOVES YOU VERY MUCH...KEEP SMILIN'

and good luck.